Author’s Note: You know, my MuggleNet readers are truly the best. I post on three other sites, and no one else leaves reviews quite like you guys. So, to honor that, and because I do, after all, write for you, I dedicate this chapter to mspadfoot, unpersonified, and OuchKibble.
Also, I strongly recommend the following video. It really inspired me to make this chapter everything it needs to be: http://www.youtube.com/w/Caught-in-the-Sun?v=V4xUjfq_P4s&search=Harry%20Potter
Waking the Fallen
See the delusion, my child,
See the hold on you
See the evil lurking
Follow your instincts through.
See the pain, my dear,
See the hate and misery
See the struggle, see the fight
Seduce the control, this black night
See the lies, my love,
See the hopeless fear
See the dismal tomorrow
And be inspired here
For this cursed life you’ve led
Has hidden blessings, disguised
Taste the rush
Taste the power
Watch the enemy
And devour
For this cursed life you’ve led
Gives you power he knows not
So taste the love, use its magic,
Take it all in”
For tonight shall be the end of damnation
For tonight you wake the fallen.
Harry’s feet pounded hard against the ground, leaving light puffs of dirt swirling in his wake. His right hand clutched his wand, sturdy and straight, as his determined emerald eyes burned a hole through the smoldering black night.
He jogged swiftly, his lips clenched securely shut, breathing hard through his nose.
Until he stopped abruptly, skidding in the soil and squinting through the darkness.
He had heard the ruffling of crumpled parchment in the distance, but no amount of strain on his eyes would permit sight. The blackness around him pulsated, thick and impeding, as if alive and trailing his every step.
It was finally time.
“Lumos!”
Harry’s unwavering voice carried through the dense shadow, echoing eerily off the silently watching trees.
“Who’s there?” Wormtail immediately shouted, sounding as if he was making an intense effort to control his anxiety.
Harry’s ears latched onto his voice. He followed its reverberation for a few quick paces until he spotted the clearing.
“Who’s there?” Wormtail asked again, more urgent this time. “I heard you, I can see your wand’s light!”
Harry stepped out of the shadows, the illumination glowing around him as a faint smirk tugged on one corner of his lips.
“Hullo Wormtail,” he said casually, inching sideways along the circular clearing.
Wormtail’s beady eyes glinted and widened, just visible in the muted light which fought from Harry’s wand.
Shuffling backwards, Wormtail’s hand shot up to grasp at his chest.
“Harry? Harry P-Potter, how did you” what are you doing here?” he asked, a note of jumpy exaggeration ending the question.
Harry stopped and titled his head. “Well,” he considered slowly, “I’m here so that you can tell me what you’ve done with my best friend.”
Wormtail blinked several times, his back now pressing hard against the tall trunk of an oak.
“What” what’re you on about?”
Harry took three swift steps in Wormtail’s direction, his mocking expression instantaneously morphing into fiery abhorrence. “Don’t take me for an idiot, Peter.”
Dropping the poorly folded parchment, Wormtail hastened to snatch his wand from his pocket, but Harry was too quick.
Harry redirected his wand in one swift motion, his outstretched hand pointing it directly at Wormtail’s chest. His lips thinned and his irises shone brightly in the former Marauder’s direction, daring to give any reason to curse him right then.
“Not a good idea,” he whispered dangerously, eyeing the wand which protruded from Wormtail’s robes. “I mean it. No messing around this time. You’re going to tell me everything you know about Ron, or I’m going to give you a reason to cower.”
They stared at each other hard in the eyes, watching for any flinch, any sign of vulnerability. Harry’s initial thoughts of taking Wormtail’s wand immediately crumbled when he suddenly recognized that performing the summoning charm would give Wormtail enough time to Disapparate.
And Harry could not lose this opportunity to save Ron.
“I’m waiting,” Harry growled lowly, trying to diffuse his moment’s panic at realizing that he nearly gave Peter time to escape.
Wormtail swallowed visibly as his right eyebrow twitched behind a wayward tuft of hair.
But when Harry leapt forward so that his wand’s tip poked him violently between the ribs, he whimpered, “I don’t know where they took the boy, the Dark Lord, he’s not telling anyone of his plans, he’s””
“You’re a rotten liar,” Harry spat, his patience thinning.
“I don’t know where your stupid frie”!”
“Didn’t Snape ever tell you he gave me Legilimency lessons?” Harry asked forcefully, following a whim and deciding to intimidate Wormtail by magnifying his own power. After all, Harry already knew that Peter Pettigrew was influenced by it. He’d demonstrated that through choosing Voldemort over his own friends.
“Maybe he didn’t,” Harry grinned, reading Wormtail’s anxiously perplexed stare. “I can see in that thick skull of yours,” he continued, squinting in concentration on Wormtail’s shifty eyes. “Memories… flashes… I can see exactly how you got here.”
Pretending to read his thoughts, Harry leaned forward and eyed the man more intently. Ducking back, Wormtail’s fingers flicked over his own wand, but Harry’s next words stopped him dead in his tracks.
“It seems you were always like this… even around my Dad and Sirius. Always just the follower. I’m surprised Snape hasn’t hexed you yet for cheering on my Dad when he hung Snape upside down by the lake that day you took your OWLs.” Harry grinned, using the memory he’d seen in Dumbledore’s pensieve during his Occlumency lessons with the former Potions master to his advantage.
Wormtail, however, could only gape. His eyes grew wide and apprehensive, watching Harry with unabashed astonishment and” could it be” awe?
“I already know Ron’s with the dementors,” Harry spoke again, quickly and businesslike. “But where? At Azkaban?”
Wormtail gulped, but did not reply.
“Doubtful,” said Harry. “Too obvious.”
But when Pettigrew gave naught but a blank stare, Harry’s anger fumed. His breathing intensified as he watched the rat before him avert his gaze. The fury and revulsion which resided in the depths of Harry’s scorched heart pieced together and rushed hotly through his furiously pumping veins. The magic in his emotion melded and eased from within, swirling around the pair, nearly unnoticeable if not for the heavy pressure suddenly suffocating Pettigrew’s corpulent limbs.
And in its pain, Pettigrew collapsed to the earth.
Harry wasn’t sure why the man was suddenly spread at his feet, but he didn’t care. Nothing rationally coherent entered his mind.
“Listen,” he snarled brutally, bending nearer Wormtail’s pale face. “I’m not an idiot,” he spat. “I know this is all a set-up. The same old formula Voldemort’s”” Wormtail recoiled. “”been using for ages. So why don’t you make this easier on us both and just tell me where the hell they’re keeping Ron!”
Pushing himself from the ground, Wormtail sputtered spitefully, “If it’s so obvious then why do you need me to tell you?”
Harry glared.
“Because””
But then time slowed and it all suddenly clicked.
Voldemort wanted Harry to find Ron.
Ron was meant to be found.
So that Harry would pause his search for Horcruxes, Voldemort had kidnapped Ron. And so that Harry could be predictably in one spot, trapped, available for whatever plans he had in mind, Ron had been taken someplace palpable.
Voldemort was killing two birds with one stone.
It was that obvious.
“Azkaban…” Harry whispered to himself, solving the last bit of the puzzle in his mind, momentarily dropping his gaze from Pettigrew.
And that was all it took.
“Expelliarmus!”
Harry’s wand shot out from his hand, landing with a dull clunk beside a large boulder some twenty feet away.
“Stupefy!” Wormtail shouted, but Harry dove out of the way, dodging the streak of light by mere inches.
Rolling behind the boulder, Harry hurriedly felt around the damp earth with both hands, searching hastily for his wand. His heart quickened and thumped behind his chest, feeling strained and lacking oxygen.
Harry could hear Wormtail’s fumbling in the dark, approaching closer, probably a yard from where he was currently hiding.
Hiding…
Harry’s jaw set. If anyone had been there as witness, they would have sworn that his green eyes flamed brighter.
Jumping from behind the rock, he leapt to one side and flattened his torso against the ground. Wormtail spun around, hearing, but not seeing, until Harry kicked out his foot, pulling Wormtail’s legs out from under him.
Harry rushed his hands over the dirt, searching, hoping, then”
“STUPEFY!”
Wormtail, still pushing himself upright, immediately collapsed again.
Still unable to see in the dark, and with specks of dirt caught in his eyes, Harry had only a vague idea as to where Wormtail was positioned, but he held out his wand straight and steady, pointing it in the Death Eater’s general direction.
But it was quiet. He couldn’t hear anything. Not Pettigrew’s breathing, not even the swaying of the trees.
Squinting and heaving deep breaths, Harry muttered, “Lumos,” and braced himself for an attack.
But none came.
Harry’s brows knitted together. Pacing around the clearing, he kept his eyes tense and alert, pouring his light over every crevice.
But there was nothing there.
“DAMN IT,” he yelled, kicking at an upturned root.
Huffing furiously, Harry weaved between the trees on the edge of the clearing, refusing to accept that Wormtail had Disapparated.
There was no crack! There wasn’t anything, not a sound! he thought feverishly.
But then a small whimper resonated through the air.
Harry stopped moving. His own blood pounded loudly in his ears. Turning slowly, he gazed behind him, sensing a presence.
He looked just in time to see the grotesque form of a half-rat, half-man shift and morph, sprouting arms, a long tail and nose being sucked into the body itself. It twisted and convulsed briefly before rising, perfectly vertical.
Caught off guard, Harry could only stare, only partially registering that it was Pettigrew.
“Crucio!” Pettigrew shouted, but Harry jumped out of the way just in time, the curse grazing past his sleeve.
“Petrificus Totalus!” Harry countered, but the spell only rang through the night, missing its target as it transformed back into a rat.
It was too dark, Harry couldn’t see; the inky air pressed down on him, and he fought, his senses on end, but”
“CRUCIO!” Pettigrew yelled again, facing Harry’s back, and”
Pain. Insurmountable pain, slapping Harry cold across the face, pouring into his blood and shattering his organs. It teemed through him from the inside out, aching and burning, ten thousand needles digging deeply into his skin, another ten thousand fighting their way out, leaving his veins ablaze with liquid fire”
But then it ended. Before he could even release a scream, it ended, as quickly as it came.
Out of breath, Harry flew up from the ground and turned to face Pettigrew in time to watch a bright blue streak of light form from thin air, coursing through the night and hitting Wormtail square between the shoulder blades.
Wormtail crumpled to the ground.
Shaking and dizzy from the aftershock of the Cruciatus Curse, Harry recoiled but straightened his legs resolutely, clenching down on his teeth.
“Who’s there?” he hollered into the empty heavens.
No answer came.
Wincing, Harry turned towards Wormtail, but he wasn’t there. In moments, he’d vanished” again.
Spinning around, Harry held out his wand, adrenaline pumping through him, his eyes shifting, fighting against the oppressive shadow. He knew Wormtail was still there somewhere, hiding like the rat he was.
“Stupefy!”
Harry whirled around in one fluid motion, his aching body subconsciously preparing to be hit, only”
What in the hell?
Wormtail was facing Harry, thirty feet away, his wand outstretched in his direction. The residue of the curse hung in the air, like a firework, but it hadn’t hit him. It hadn’t hit Harry at all.
Then suddenly”
Crack
And Wormtail Disapparated.
Harry shouted a series of curses, knowing he had escaped for real this time.
Furious with himself, Harry gritted his teeth and began striding quickly away, back towards where he left Hermione.
He took three steps and tripped.
Spitting the dirt from his mouth, Harry craned his neck to see what he’d fallen over.
There, just visible, contrasting against the deep brown soil, was half a shoe.
Harry quickly moved forward and felt up the shoe, grasping at some invisible barrier and swiftly tugging it away.
“HERMIONE!”
“I’m not suggesting it’s your fault, Harry, but is this not exactly what I warned you against?”
“This was different””
“Harry””
“Listen, I’m not having this conversation again. Nothing’s changed.”
“Harry, if you””
“I said I’m not having it.
“Hermione may not survive next time!” Lupin suddenly shouted crossly.
Hermione’s head throbbed as her eyelids fought the will to open. She could hear Harry and Lupin in the distance, their voices echoing from behind some barrier. Despite the unbearable headache, she could make out their conversation and felt nausea swell in her stomach cavity with each word.
“I’m not trying to frighten you away Harry, or even tell you how this situation ought to be handled. But if you want to find Ron, as well as keep yourself and Hermione safe, you must take precautions.”
“I tried getting your help, but you were more concerned with the Horcruxes than Ron!”
“You know that isn’t true,” Lupin retaliated. “But if the Horcruxes aren’t located” you” you must listen to reason, you must do this properly, Harry! You must face reality!”
“I’VE HAD IT WITH YOUR BLOODY REALITY!” Harry yelled furiously. “Here’s my reality, Lupin” Ron is missing. He’s being held by Dementors, and Voldemort wants me. I’m the one who’s got to find him, I’m the one! I WON’T LET THEM TAKE ANYTHING ELSE!”
Even through the sound of rushing blood in her ears, Hermione could hear Harry’s strained breathing. And for a long moment, she heard nothing else.
“They’ll take her next, Harry.”
For another moment, silence hung in the air.
“No they won’t.”
Hermione shuddered as she heard heavy footsteps then the sound of a slamming door. She forced her eyes open, blinking blearily into the dimly lit room. The dark ceiling above her swirled and twisted in and out of focus.
A faint moan met her ears and it took Hermione a moment to realize it was her own. Her weak fingers pulled on dangling threads of fabric as she attempted to grasp something stable to pull herself up.
But then, she felt strong arms wrap around her sore shoulders, and soon Hermione found herself sitting upright and swimming in a sea of vivid green.
“Harry?” she asked meekly.
No answer came, but the emerald orbs so close before her lifted in a sad smile.
“What” where are we?”
“Grimmauld Place,” he answered gently, sounding so different than he had just a moment ago with Lupin.
Hermione’s lungs felt choked and scratchy, as if she’d inhaled a large amount of smoke. But she swallowed back her nausea and tried to focus on Harry’s soft features.
“How did we””
“Just get some rest,” he told her quietly, looking away for the first time.
Through hazy vision, Hermione watched Harry fumble behind his back and return with a small silver cup of piping hot liquid.
“Drink this,” he said, tipping the rim to her lips.
The liquid burned her throat painfully until it turned suddenly cool within her, soothing away the wounds. When she opened her eyes again it was to find Harry sitting on the bed beside hers, watching her fervently.
As she met his stare, images of that night swooped through her mind like a dark cloud of terror. She remembered standing stock still under the invisibility cloak as Harry dashed off into the night. She remembered the incredible weight that dropped to the pit of her stomach when he did, and the hollowed feeling in her chest for the first few seconds she didn’t move.
She remembered the sound of her feet pounding against the hard earth as she strived to keep up with his hastened steps, and she remembered probing through the dark for what felt like hours when she lost him and began her endless search.
She remembered stumbling across a huge boulder before realizing she was in the clearing. She remembered watching with wide, horror-struck eyes as Pettigrew pointed his wand at Harry and uttered an incantation. She remembered rushing around the side of the trees, fighting to make out where each man was positioned between sudden bursts of light.
She remembered time slowing and the mingled look on Pettigrew’s pointed face.
She remembered hurling out towards Harry, arms outstretched, ready to push him aside.
She didn’t remember thinking about it.
Blinking into the rough atmosphere, Hermione delicately brought her hands from under the bed covers and pulled on her fingers. Harry was staring at her with an opaque, unreadable expression.
Dropping her gaze, she began timidly, “Harry, I””
“Forget it.”
“No,” she whispered, “Harry, I” I’m sorry.”
Harry stood. “I said forget it.”
Hermione’s head lowered to face her entwined fingers. “Is” what happened with Pettigrew? Is everything all right?”
Hermione lifted her head in time to see Harry’s muscles tense. His back straightened when he turned from her. “Define all right.”
“Well, I mean””
“Just, never mind. Get some sleep.”
“Harry””
“What do you want, Hermione?!” he shouted abruptly, spinning around to face her. “Tell me, what is it you want to discuss now?”
Hermione’s mouth opened blankly. “I just” I want to know what happened… if you… if you’re…”
“If I’m what?” he asked harshly, looking stressed. “Fine? All right? Sure. I’m great. Absolutely great. Happy? Now please just go to sleep.”
Hermione shook her head, baffled. “Harry, what’s wro”?”
“Why’d you do it?” he asked out of no where, his lips thinning to an angry line. “That’s what you want to talk about, isn’t it? What happened? What happened is, you decided to put the last friend I had in danger” you just hurtled from thin air! You could have been killed, Hermione!”
Hermione’s cheeks burned a fiery red. Her eyes emitted a torn, anguished expression, reflecting all the misery and fear and uncertainty she’d been compacting for months. She didn’t know how to respond to him.
She didn’t know what to say.
For the first time since she could remember, Hermione didn’t have the answer.
“You could have been killed too, Harry,” she whispered meekly.
“Yeah? Well that’s news, I tell you” being who I am, that idea’s hardly crossed my mind””
“Harry…”
“No, forget it.”
Hermione swallowed hard, her body starting to shake with pain.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
Harry stopped in his tracks, one hand stretching towards the door handle. She watched his shoulder blades rise and fall with a heavy sigh before he finally turned to meet her anxious stare.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered again, the corners of her eyes stinging curiously. “I just” I didn’t consciously think about following, I” I meant to stay and send the patronus, but then” oh, Pettigrew was cursing you, and” I couldn’t see through the dark! But I saw him coming forward, and it was all a blur, then… then I’m… then I’m here.”
Harry pushed his fingers beneath his black-rimmed glasses and rubbed hard at his eyes. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “You promised you’d run if I asked you to, I needed you to be safe. You should not have done that,” he repeated in a low voice, still massaging his eyes.
Hermione leaned forward in her bed.
“But what was I supposed to do?” she begged, looking tormented. “I couldn’t just let him torture you!”
“Not that,” he said. “You weren’t supposed to do that. And yes, you can. You’ve got to let me do this, Hermione.”
“I am!” she nearly yelled, barely fighting off hysterics. “But I’m doing it with you, Harry! And you have to let me!”
Harry’s nostrils flared as he approached the foot of her bed. “That’s not how it works. Look, Hermione” I’m going to get hurt! That’s my place in all of this! I’m trying to fight, and it’s the only way I know how! But I need you with me, not getting yourself bloody killed! That won’t help anyone, least of all me! Imagine what it would’ve done to me, to this whole situation, if you’d died” how do you think I would’ve felt?!”
Hermione’s mouth hung open, but she wiped at her eyes forcefully and met Harry’s challenging glare.
“The same I would have, if I hadn’t done what was necessary and you ended up convulsing on the ground again!”
Silence.
Her words shook the room. Harry watched her with a distant look in his eye.
Then suddenly, he took the last quick step to her bed frame and leaned over, close to her face so that they were less than a foot apart.
“D’you see this?” he asked heatedly, lifting the hair from his forehead. “This is my scar! I’m the one who’s got to do this, it’s my name on the prophecy!”
Hermione’s eyes traced the thin, lightening-shaped line which seemed deeper than usual in the muted light of the dank bedroom.
Snorting, Hermione spat, “Oh, and I suppose that makes you special, does it?”
Harry’s jaw tightened.
“What?”
“You might be the Chosen One, but you’re not the only one affected by this war!” she shouted at him, a glistening line of liquid building along her lower eyelid.
Harry blinked at her, utterly taken aback. Pulling away, he shook his head and gazed into her as if he’d never laid eyes on her before.
“Don’t call me that,” he said tersely.
“You’re not the only one who’s lost a best friend, Harry!” she continued desperately, trying to ignore the hurt look in Harry’s eyes. “Ron’s my friend too, but you seem to forget that! You seem to forget that no one wants to see the people they care about die, including me! You seem to forget that I care about you too!”
Taking another step back, Harry looked away. “What’s that got to do with””
“Oh, please, that’s what this is all about and you know it! You’re angry because Pettigrew escaped and I got injured and you feel like it’s your fault!” she cried, tears streaming freely down her face. “You feel like you should have s- saved me somehow, that you’re meant to be the martyr! But you said it yourself, Harry! You can’t be everyone’s hero all the time!”
Hermione saw Harry’s teeth clench.
Breathing heavily, he muttered, “I’m not trying to be.”
“But you are!” she argued, throwing all caution to the wind. “Harry, I support you in trying to find Ron” I’ll follow you, wherever you want to go, but maybe” maybe Lupin’s partially right,” she said, flinching at the burning glare she received at the remark. “We need to be more careful, we’ll only fail faster if we’re not” and you, you’re not letting anyone help you! You’re pushing everyone away, everyone who cares about you””
“That’s rubbish,” he spat.
“Is it?” Hermione questioned in a high pitch. “So that’s not the reason you gave for breaking up with Ginny?”
Hermione’s heart plummeted.
Her mouth hung open as a wave of frantic guilt washed over her, chilling her blood. A moment of dizziness overtook her as she recalled Ginny’s sorrowful pleas to keep their break-up secret.
And Hermione really did not want to discuss it. It was a dark, looming conversation which made Hermione feel unnerved and claustrophobic when thought about.
“How do you know about that?”
Hermione looked up and bit her lip, eyeing Harry with concern.
“Did Ginny tell you?” he asked, stunned.
Hermione nodded slowly.
Harry set his jaw. His adam’s apple rose and fell dramatically behind the delicate skin of his neck as he swallowed down a hard lump.
“She’s got nothing to do with anything.”
Hermione’s lip was going numb but she continued to chew it raw with worry and apprehension. But finally, she spoke.
“If what you told her was the truth, then she does,” she murmured quietly.
“You don’t know anything about us,” he said. “Things were complicated. But it had nothing to do with””
“I know,” Hermione sighed, resigning herself. “I” I’m sorry I brought it up. I know it’s got nothing to do with this.”
She peered up at him with a sad smile, deciding she might as well take this rare opportunity to tell him what she’d been thinking for weeks.
“I don’t pretend to understand your rationale,” she said quietly, gauging his reaction. “But she told me how it happened. And… there was something else. There was something else you weren’t telling her. Something else you haven’t told anyone. I could tell, it just wasn’t the complete truth””
“You don’t understand anything about it, Hermione.”
Harry focused away from her then, blinking heavily at the nearby window.
Hermione looked stricken, but she reached out to him, begging for him to return her honesty. “Harry, please””
“Drop it.”
“I just want you to be able to talk to me,” she said sadly, “this is only one of many issues you’re bottling up. Please, you’ve got to””
“I had my reasons.”
Looking back at Hermione, Harry noticed the gleaming streams of tears which lingered on her cheeks. Sighing, he sat beside her on the bed, his weight causing the ancient mattress to creak and shift.
“I had my reasons, Hermione,” he told her again. And the finality in his voice was such that she dared not press on.
Instead she only nodded solemnly and allowed the silence to envelope them for several long, consecutive minutes as she closed her eyes and contented herself with the warmth of Harry’s body close to hers.
Long minutes passed in which neither uttered a word. Eventually Hermione’s lids fluttered open and she felt her body relax at the sight before her.
Harry was sitting on the edge of the mattress, his eyes half-covered behind a mass of unruly black hair. He looked so vulnerable, so completely human and defeated. His finger reached up to scratch a spot on his chin before he glanced sideways at Hermione.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled inaudibly.
He didn’t need to explain why. She knew.
Hermione didn’t answer, but tilted her head to lie on his shoulder. Wrapping his arm around her, Harry let his head rest on hers as he let out a deep, mournful sigh.
“Now what do we do?” Hermione asked quietly, her words muffled into Harry’s neck.
Harry thought back to his conversation with Pettigrew”
It is that obvious…
”and smiled.
“I think I have an idea.”