Tom Riddle's 12 Days of Christmas! by Scheherazade

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On the First day of Christmas, the Death Eaters gave to me, (Tom Riddle, a.k.a. Lord Voldemort):

a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree. (Go my pretty! Kill! Kill!)

On the Second day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

2 Weasley-style sweaters (Oh, not those God forsaken things!),
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Third day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

3 slightly neurotic snakes (Nagini, family of yours?),
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Fourth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

4 remaining Horcruxes (Aha! Let's see that prat Potter find them now!),
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Fifth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

5 captured Order members (The Order thinks they're so hoity-toity now!),
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Sixth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

6 destroyed Muggle cities (*sniff* I'm so proud of my Death Eaters),
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Seventh day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

7 written Death Threats for one Mr. Potter (Eeeexcellent!)
6 destroyed Muggle cities,
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Eighth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

8 evil schemes-a-brewing (Now if only I could enable them.),
7 written Death Threats for one Mr. Potter,
6 destroyed Muggle cities,
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Ninth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

9 Death Eater's dancing (NOT a pretty sight!),
8 evil schemes-a-brewing,
7 written Death Threats for one Mr. Potter,
6 destroyed Muggle cities,
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Tenth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

10 Dark Lords-a-leaping (I prefer my feet firmly on the ground, thank you!),
9 Death Eater's dancing,
8 evil schemes-a-brewing,
7 written Death Threats for one Mr. Potter,
6 destroyed Muggle cities,
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Eleventh day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

11 drunken Dementors (Oh the humanity!),
10 Dark Lords-a-leaping,
9 Death Eater's dancing,
8 evil schemes-a-brewing,
7 written Death Threats for one Mr. Potter,
6 destroyed Muggle cities,
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, The Death Eaters gave to me,

12 angry werewolves (damn you, Fenrir!),
11 drunken Dementors,
10 Dark Lords-a-leaping,
9 Death Eater's dancing,
8 evil schemes-a-brewing,
7 written Death Threats for one Mr. Potter,
6 destroyed Muggle cities,
5 captured Order members,
4 remaining Horcruxes,
3 slightly neurotic snakes,
2 Weasley-style sweaters,
and a poisonous Basilisk in a pear tree.

Merry Christmas and an Avada Kedavra to you!