Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Chinese Takeout
A/N: Androcles (despite being a dog) is my OC. All characters, situations, etc. in this chapter are the exclusive property of JK Rowling. I’m just inviting them over for playgroup. :)
The Tonks household actually stayed pretty peaceful for most of the next month, mostly because everyone was too hot to move. Tonks spent her days in her room, reading dime-store romance novels with the windows open and the fan going, until her mother forced her outside (“You need sunlight and fresh air if you’re going to grow up healthy!”) She then proceeded to disappear for five hours and return with a very large and shaggy yellow stray dog in tow. Andie agreed to let the dog stay on the condition that he be housetrained and sleep on any bed (or even none at all) but hers. The dog, who after some deliberation was christened Androcles, turned out to be already housetrained and preferred to sleep on whatever part of the bed Tonks wasn’t taking up, sprawling out wherever there was room. Ted’s first reaction to the newest resident of what he used to consider his house was, “Dog? That’s no dog. That’s a polar bear that tried to migrate south last winter and got lost.”
After spending a few days whining about how bored he was and how there was nothing to do, Sirius struck up a conversation with the pretty Muggle girl next door and consequently missed dinner for the next few nights. (“Who cares, anyway,” James said through a mouthful of spaghetti, “more for us.”)
James used up ten Galleons’ worth of ink and parchment attempting to write a love letter to Lily; most of that parchment ended up in the dustbin after only two or three sentences. It just wasn’t something one could easily put into words, as he explained to a bemused Sirius. Finally arriving at something he approved of, he sent it by the Owl Office and spent the better part of the next week looking up, hoping for a reply. He never did get one, but he did get an incredible crick in his neck.
The full moon came and went, and there wasn’t much of a noticeable change in Remus’ personality. He was simply a little more irritable and a bit more reluctant to get out of bed in the mornings. As for the rest of the time, he found a 5,000 piece puzzle of Big Ben in an upstairs closet and spent the next few weeks carefully piecing it together and ignoring Tonks when she laughed at him for trying. (He did finish it, by the way”Sirius won the two Galleons.)
Peter finally got around to figuring out how to work the camera he’d gotten for his birthday and immediately became an avid amateur photographer. Some pictures actually turned out pretty good, while others employed what James called the “Y” factor”“Why the heck did I take this picture in the first place?” Some of the photos, however, were obviously intended as blackmail material”so much so that upon catching James with the camera, Tonks promptly dubbed him “the Potterazzi”. The developed prints, though, once viewed were confiscated by Ted, who promised to show them to any boys she brought home in future. (At this, Tonks accused him of having a master plan to keep her single until she was thirty. His response: “Don’t all dads?”) This particular conversation ended in Andie digging out the old photo albums and everyone laughing at the pictures.
It was one of these hot, lazy days when Andie poked her head into the back room. ”I don’t feel like cooking, what’d you guys want for dinner?”
“Chinese,” James and Sirius said together.
“Food,” Peter said at the same time as them.
“Pizza,” said Tonks, looking up from where she hung upside-down on the couch, her hair flopping down to the rug.
Remus yawned and stretched. “I dunno…what ever you guys want.”
The five stopped suddenly and looked at each other.
“Chinese,” Sirius said insistently.
“I don’t think so,” Tonks replied in the same tone.
“I’m not eating anything but Chinese,” James said.
“I’ll eat anything except Chinese,” said Peter.
“I can’t eat with chopsticks,” said Tonks.
“Neither can I,” Peter admitted.
“Come on, you two can use a fork,” James pleaded. “Why don’t you like Chinese, anyway?”
“I just don’t. It’s that simple.”
“You know what I think?” Sirius said, leaning over the back of the couch to look at her. “I think all that hanging upside-down has messed up your brain.”
“Has not,” Tonks said rolling off the couch and onto the rug and sitting upright on the floor, pointedly ignoring Peter (who was smirking at her mussed-up hair).
Listen,” James said impatiently, jumping upon the couch and waving his hands. “We hold the truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, and that they are endowed by their creator with a certain unalienable rights; and that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of Chinese takeout!” finished James, shouting and pumping his arms in the air, accompanied by the applause of Sirius and the ever-faithful Peter.
“Question.” Tonks raised her hand. “Shouldn’t it be all men and women are created equal?”
James didn’t even pause to think. “No. Frankly, you guys suck at self-government.” Ignoring her indignation, he turned to Peter, who also had his hand raised.
“Er. What’s ‘endowed’ mean?”
“Given,” Remus said without looking up from his book.
“Well, thank you very much, Mr. Dictionary,” said Tonks sarcastically.
Peter ignored her. “And…erm…’unalienable’?”
“Means it can’t be taken away.” Again, he didn’t even look up. Tonks got up and walked over to Remus’ chair.
“Okay, if it’s that interesting I have to know what you could possibly be reading.” She flipped back the cover of the book. “Little Women? Good luck with that one.”
Finally he looked up. “Why, don’t you like it?”
“Nah, just that all Amy’s letters get kinda boring.”
“Yeah, well…the rest of it’s pretty good.” A vaguely amused look came over Remus’ face. “It’s kind of strange, though. I can’t seem to keep from comparing you to Jo.”
Tonks swiped at him playfully as the others laughed. In the background Andie cleared her throat.
“I kind of need a decision here…what’re we doing for dinner?”
They took a vote and ended up with three votes for Chinese (James, Sirius, and Ted), two for ordering pizza (Tonks and Andie), one for making sandwiches (Peter), and one abstention (Remus didn’t really care either way).
“Ok, Chinese it is,” Andie said with a sigh. “But I still think I should get veto power.”
“You do,” said Sirius. “We just have an override.”
The Marauders and Me by Lissa Reynolds
Chapter Notes: Things have actually settled down a bit around here. Tonks and the Marauders no longer hate each other's guts, a new dog becomes part of the family, and drought sets in. Finally our heroine and her four trustysidekicksminions have time to ponder the age-old question...What's for dinner?