A/N: No more apologies! Here’s the chapter. I know it took a while but my mother wants me to get into NHS so...*melodramatic sigh* Plus, I’m doing lights for our fall production of The Mousetrap, so my summer could be busy...plus a part-time job come summer...maybe I can buy my own computer and work at night too. Hey, an author can dream, can’t she? (Seriously, though, anything that comes out of my pen after 10 o’clock turns into scary stuff. If I ever finish Triple Threat, a Remus/Tonks fic that involves Greyback biting people...well...*you* know...I’ll post it and you can see what I mean.) Anyhoo, the football story is my dad’s. (He’s now a college professor who runs marathons and occasionally becomes too skinny for his pants, in which cases my mom gets exasperated and makes him eat more.) And my...um...apologies to the Tiffanies. *Three more annoying girls have hardly ever walked this earth. RGGH.* Also to Mary Margaret and Margaret Maria. (For Margaret Marie James.) Also to St. Francis Xavier and Charles Dickens. Also to C-Rod and my Aunt Melissa. (For everyone’s last names. Xavier, Manette, and Rodriguez.) Also to Sirius’ great-grandfather’s great-grandfather. (For abusing him so horribly and making him act out of character.) Also to you guys for taking forever. Um...did I say no apologies? ^_^; OH WELL!!! Hope you like it!
Tonks sighed and mentally tuned herself out of the ongoing dinner conversation. Nobody was listening to her.
“I remember when I was a kid in Muggle school,” Ted was saying. “We used to play all kinds of stuff in gym class, but there was nothing like American football. I mean...”
“Quidditch beats,” James said flatly.
“No way. There’s nothing like the feeling you get when you go for the ball and tackle the other bloke...the whoosh sound their lungs make when you knock ‘em over and wind ‘em...the way your body collapses when they hit the ground and it jars your mouthgard...”
“...yeah. Quidditch beats.”
“Or when you grab the ball and run for the endzone. ‘Course, it was better when all the guys were skinny. The trouble started when they started getting muscles and I didn’t.”
“Should’ve been a Seeker, then. Quidditch beats.”
Tonks interrupted their debate, trying once more to make herself heard. “I said, what did you four think about the party?” James turned and looked at her as if just now realizing that she was there.
“Oh. You should have spoken up.” Tonks rolled her eyes. “Erm...what was that all about with Reigo?” Andie immediately joined the conversation.
“Reigo? Oh, do tell.”
Tonks sighed. “Revenge, mother dearest. He’s probably gone off to sulk after the way I tossed him in the pool...he deserved it!” she added at Andie’s horrified look.
“You shouldn’t do that,” Andie said. “He might have drowned. And anyway, if you continue scaring people off like this you’ll still be single at thirty.”
“Somehow I think I’ll manage,” Tonks said with a roll of her eyes.
“Yes, but will you manage according to Mummy Dearest’s standards?” Sirius said slyly; he winced in pain and tucked his legs under his chair, out of reach should Tonks take it into her head again to kick him.
“The things young people do these days,” Andie carried on. “When I was your age-“
“When you were their age, you were doing the exact same things,” Ted said smugly. “Admit it, Andromeda.”
“Well...maybe.”
Ted smiled nostalgically. “Now, when I was their ages, I divided my summers between playing Ted and Barfball- I mean Tiffany- Go to Space on the couch with my little sister and gazing hopelessly at Margaret Marie James. Girl from down the street,” he added hurriedly, “nowhere as pretty as you.” Andie still didn’t quite look reassured, but Tonks was practically howling with laughter.
“You called Aunt Tiffany Barfball?” she said when she could stop laughing long enough to get the words out. “That is the funniest thing ever.” Her laughs gradually tapered off into a puzzled but serious look at Remus. “Erm...what exactly are you staring at?”
“Have...have I been walking past you every day for three years running and not known who you were?”
Sirius leaned over for a closer look. “Heey, she does look familiar!”
Tonks scowled. “Congratulations, Shylock. It’s the hair.” She rooted around in her pockets for a moment, then left the table and returned with a hair tie. Bending over, Tonks pulled her mid-back-length blond hair into an extremely messy ponytail on the top/right side of her head.
“Is that how you wear your hair at school?” Andie said with an air of displeasure.
Remus snapped his fingers. “Aha! Dora!”
James looked acutely embarrassed. “I...er...well...sorry ‘bout that little...incident...with the, erm...frogs.”
“That was you?” Tonks looked livid.
“Good going, Prongs,” Remus muttered.
“Oh, yeah, I remember that,” Sirius said, “back in...would’ve been your first year then?” Tonks nodded, still scowling. “Hm...let’s- OH. Erm...” He joined James in scarlet hue. “Well, I ..er...ah...that is, I mean...eek. Look, we were going for someone else.”
“Come now, what’s this all about?” said Ted, looking delighted. “I haven’t heard this before.”
Sirius began. “Well... here we were, four fifth years, and there they were, four first years...and...erm...”
“Prank time,” nodded James as sagely as was possible under the circumstances.
“What we didn’t know was that those were NOT just any first years, they were...erm...” Peter stopped here and looked to his idols for help.
“Devils,” Sirius spat. “In disguise as four innocent little first year girls. I can still tell you their names- Manette, Rodriguez, Xavier, and this little blond one who called herself Dora.” He glared at Tonks. “Xavier was the ringleader-“
“That was Elissa, of course.”
“-and Manette just kind of stood there in the shadows-“
“Cree. Hits hard, though, doesn’t she?”
“-shut up. And Rodriguez already had all the little first year boys wrapped around her fingers-“
“Some of the fifth years as well, if I remember right.”
“-and then of course there was you. Would you stop interrupting?”
“No.”
Remus leaned back, listening to them argue on. The sounds faded into the background like in a movie where all you can hear is one person’s thoughts, usually accompanied by some upward chimes. Unfortunately, it’s very hard to describe on paper, so go figure. To get back with the action, he remembered that day very well. Very well indeed...
“I’m bored,” he heard fifteen-year-old James say inside his head.
“You can’t possibly be bored,” the (slightly) younger Remus had told him. “Haven’t you ever looked in the library?”
“Maybe that’ll work for you, but not me,” James had replied, rolling onto his stomach. Oh yes- they had all been sitting under that tree by the lake. Bright spring day. Late March, maybe. Everyone all worked up over their OWLs except for them. Typical. Bit of a breeze, the sun shifting through the green leaves above, patterns of light playing across his book.
Oh yeah. That was why he was having so much trouble reading it.
“Padfoot and I,” James continued, putting his arm around his friend’s shoulders, “we need action.” Remus-from-the-present noticed his use of the pluperfect tense slipping away as he went deeper into the memory.
“Like?” Remus said, not giving up on his book quite yet. To tell the truth, it hadn’t been very interesting really to begin with, and it was such a pretty day...
“Like pranking somebody, or beating up on some Slytherins, or playing non-regulation Quidditch, or, or...”
Sirius poked James and grinned. “Or pranking somebody and beating up on some Slytherins.” Remus followed his gaze to a small group of Slytherins who were yelling at a cluster of first years, and vice versa.
“Is this going to be a good idea?” Remus asked, finally putting away Thoughts on Doxies and the Like by one Ichabod Massey Boureng. He wondered momentarily whether the author had ever written under his initials.
“Of course it’s going to be a good idea,” James said. “Our ideas are always good.” He wilted a little under Remus’ harsh look. “It’s not our fault if McGonagall usually thinks otherwise.”
“Mm-hm.”
“Plus, it’s got that righteous-action junk you love so much written all over it, Moony!” Sirius added. “What could be more kind and helpful than putting those bullies in their place?”
“Waiting for a prefect, maybe...?”
“Moony, you are a prefect.”
“Oh. Right.” Yeah...he just hadn’t used his prefectorial powers too much around them. Something told him they weren’t complaining.
“Anyway, prefects never have as much fun as we do,” Sirius carried on blithely. “All you guys do is give detentions and tell us off to McGonagall. We Marauders, on the other hand...” Hoo boy. Remus could see it coming, even light years into the future, and he knew his past self could too.
“Let me guess: time to take off my little badge of honor and take on my true identity as a Marauder: breaker of rules, defier of authorities, and shirker of duties, not to mention skiver of classes.” Here he looked pointedly at James.
“Hey, I forgot to do my homework and you knew it!”
“Whatever.”
“Actually, Moony...if you really want to miss out on the fun...go be all prefect-y...put us in detention if you like...we won’t stop you...” Sirius heaved a large and obviously fake sigh that made Remus’ resolve loosen slightly. Oh, no. Here he went again, doing things he wasn’t supposed to do...getting in trouble...losing points...getting their butts hauled off to McGonagall’s...having tons of fun...
“You know,” he heard himself saying, “you’re going to have to tell me at some point what it is you plan to do.”
“Oh, nothing much,” James said. “Just a few hexes here, couple jinxes there, add some frogs and just a dash of mischief, simmer for twenty seconds and ka-BLAM! ...now you’re cookin’.”
“Frogs?” echoed Peter nervously.
“Mischief?” Remus said with a touch of doubt.
“You are, of course, in on this one, Moony?” Sirius asked him pointedly.
“I...ah...well...okay.” James and Sirius high-fived. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to regret this?”
“I believe my great-grandmother said something very much like that upon an occasion very much like this,” Sirius said as they all began to get up and sidle down the hill, “except that my great-grandfather was trying to get her drunk at the time. No reflection on the current situation, of course. And do you know what my great-grandfather said to her?”
“Do we want to know?” James groaned.
“He said,” Sirius said, ignoring him, “‘Susanna dearest,’ he says, ‘my grandfather said something very much like that upon an occasion very much like this, except my great-uncle was trying to talk him into doing his chores for him. No reflection on the current situation, of course. And do you know what my great-uncle says to him? “Arthur old lad,” he says, “my daddy said something very much like that upon an occasion very much like this, except his father was telling him to clean the stables since the stable-elves were all drunk. And do you know what happened to my daddy?” he says, “he got his behind smacked. And that is what is going to happen to you if you don’t do them for me.”’ And so my great-grandmother gets up, hits him so hard she knocks him out, and then goes and gets drunk anyway. And then my great-grandfather gets up, and he--“
“That’s quite enough, thanks,” Remus said (the older Remus agreed with him). “Especially since I don’t really understand what was going on in that story. And very especially since I think the point was that you were going to beat me up.”
“Er...let’s just forget it then.”
“Yes. Let’s.” As they walked closer, they could hear shouting, most of which consisted of the Slytherins insulting the first years. There was also, however, the noise of the small crowd that had already gathered around them.
“’Scuse me. Pardon me. Comin’ through. ‘Scuse me. Pardon me.” Peter was having to jog to keep up with the other three, being at the back. For James and Sirius (and Remus, who was directly behind them), however, the crowd seemed to part like water. Within seconds they arrived at the front, where they could see better. Except, of course, for Remus-from-the-present, who (seeing through his memory’s eyes) had been pushed to the back and couldn’t see much except the back of James’ head. If only he’d had that growth spurt a few weeks earlier...
“What’s going on here?” he heard Sirius say from the front. While the crowd fell silent, several voices started up at once.
“We were just walking along, minding our own business--“
“You liar, it was all your fault to begin with--“
“They came up behind us and hexed Cree something awful--“
“Frogspawn, all that. You walked straight into Lestrange--“
“What? Oh, no! Anyone but you.” The last was apparently directed at Sirius, who in any case took it very personally. He started to argue, but James pushed him aside.
“He said, what’s going on here?” Finally everyone shut up except the first voice, which both the Remuses now recognized with horror as their-his?- cousin Elissa’s. They weren’t incredibly fond of each other, to put things lightly.
“Well. The four of us here were just walking down to the lake- we have every right to do that, I’d hope- and all of a sudden they just show up. And I say hi and they start hexing us.”
“I can’t see any evidence of that,” came James’ voice skeptically.
“That’s ’cause they missed,” started in another voice. It had been new to the younger Remus, but he knew it very well now. “Horrid aim. Comes of being in Slytherin, shouldn’t wonder. Is that why you lot lose all your Quidditch games?”
Dora’s comment set the crowd to giggling and the Slytherins to threatening to prove their good aim with a jinx to her head. Suddenly one of them-- Lestrange, the older Remus realized now-- whipped out his wand and sent a weak but well-timed Jellylegs at her. It bounced off her bookbag and rebounded onto Sirius. With a veritable shriek of anger, (but a very manly one, he always insisted) James turned on the little group of Slytherins and began hurling hexes at them. Sadly, the only one to hit anything caught Dora square on the arm. For a moment, she only had a strange look on her face; then she suddenly vomited up a frog. And another. And another.
“Um...Prongs?” Sirius said from his place on the ground. James opened his mouth but was cut off by a swift jinx, courtesy Elissa. Soon jets of light were streaming from nearly every person in the crowd, the Slytherins not wanting to give up on a perfectly good fight and most everyone else trying to defend themselves.
Yes...yes...it had been quite a time...so had the mass detention they’d all served a few days later. That was another memory, though. As he helped clear away the plates among much fighting over whose turn it was to wash the dishes, a small voice in the back of his head reminded him that they ought to be getting their lists for school soon. Ugh...school...
Ugh? Indeed, it appeared that six-odd years with James and Sirius and one summer with Dora Tonks were finally getting to him.
James and Sirius would be so proud.