“And in the glory of God do we pray;
Almighty God, look with pity upon the sorrows of thy servants for
whom we pray. Remember them, Lord, in mercy; nourish them with
patience; comfort them with a sense of thy goodness; lift up thy
countenance upon them; and give them peace; through Jesus Christ our
Lord. Amen.” The congregation echoed ‘amen’, bowing their heads for a moment. Grandmother felt the sorrow that had become her constant companion over the years take hold of her chest. Every day was hard and now her son…
Unbidden, a clear picture of Connor laughing as he swung Aaron into a dip while they danced in the living room to the radio made her heart clench. It had only been thirty years but the wounds were as fresh as if it had been yesterday.
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Hogwarts had been boring. MaryAnn had many friends and like every pureblood in her family was in Slytherin. The first year passed like leaves in a breeze, only a few memories clinging to the sidewalk of her memory. The second year was much the same but the third…the third year of Hogwarts was when she met Connor. It was as if her whole life had been in black and white before and Connor had suddenly changed it all into color. If this was infatuation, than let it stay. MaryAnn was content simply standing in his presence.
“What did you do over the summer, Mare?” Connor used MaryAnn’s pet name and her smile seemed to reach across her whole face. He had been to a warmer climate; she could tell by the well-tanned and freckled face; even his stark black hair that was cut long and strait to his cheekbone and was lighter than it had been last year.
MaryAnn’s heart did cartwheels; it was their sixth year and she still had not told him how she felt. Her own New Year’s resolution for the past two years had been to finally break the barrier and see how Connor felt. However, every time she gazed into those green eyes she felt like melting. How could she hope to keep her head if she lost it every time she glanced his way?
“Oh, just a bunch of nothing…how was your summer?” they walked and talked, making their own way toward the castle entrance. Neither had much interest in the feast and only the moving crowd of returning students kept them on the path.
If only I could tell you, how much I want to kiss you. If only I could say how every day I counted down the days to coming back, just to be with you again. If only you would realize how much I love how you say my name…MaryAnn’s thoughts went unheard except to only traumatize her already rambunctious emotions. Connor smiled the same smile as he always did, unaware that every motion was making MaryAnn’s heart clench.
*--*--*--*--*--*
MaryAnn watched, stunned, as another Slytherin sixth year girl named Ursula sat gently into Connor’s lap and kissed him. A hot knife of jealousy mixed with rage slipped into her breast, causing her to rise from her own chair in the Slytherin common room. She expected Connor to do something, anything, but…MaryAnn stared, disgusted, as the two began to snog.
“Would you two just get a room?” She roared at the couple. Connor looked up, surprised, and Ursula giggled.
“What’s wrong, Mare? Mare?!” MaryAnn stormed off but not before unleashing a nasty jinx at Ursula. Connor was hers! All hers! Who did Ursula think she was? That stupid brat! MaryAnn beat her pillow into a pulp while hot tears of rage dripped down her cheeks.
What was wrong with her? Why did Connor never kiss her?
*--*--*--*--*--*
The train ride in the seventh year was as bland as the second year’s. MaryAnn gazed out the window, memorizing every hilltop until it grew too dark to see. Ever since the few incidents last year Connor had tried to speak to her but MaryAnn was tired of having her heart broken. If he had not realized by now that she practically in love with him than he never would. She was tired of having the hot knife of jealousy plunge into her heart every time he even looked at someone else.
“Mare?” MaryAnn’s heart froze and she glanced up to see Connor peering at her from the compartment door. He had a strange expression on his face as she stared blankly back at him. After a moment, he came closer and sat across from her. There was a silence as both of them fought to keep their emotions at bay.
“I’m sorry.” MaryAnn said finally, spitting out the words bitterly; yeah, she was sorry for hoping to love him. It was useless. It would never work.
“What could you possibly be sorry for? I am the one that should be apologizing. I just…Mare, could you forgive me for being such an idiot” Connor gestured wildly, and MaryAnn was silent for another moment before carefully answering.
“I forgive you. However, I would like it if I never saw you again. So if you would please leave…” MaryAnn tried to keep her voice from quivering and she dropped her gaze, flicking it everywhere except for Connor. It would hurt at first but she would grow out of her love for him. All she had to do was say that she would never see him again. She could do this…she could do this.
“Is that really what you want?” Connor asked and when he received no answer he said, “Because if this is what you want, than…than I’ll do it. You always were my best friend.”
Every word was like a knife in her gut. She did not want to be his ‘friend’! She wanted to be his ‘girlfriend’! He still did not see…MaryAnn looked up suddenly to see Connor not even five inches from her nose. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to ask some question but was stopped by Connor’s warm lips on her own.
That was the first kiss of many over the long years.
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Grandmother sighed, shaking her head as she slowly stood. Her eyes ached from tears shed long ago. She would pray for Connor and perhaps…perhaps if her prayers were true enough, he would be released from purgatory and into Heaven. Bowing to the cross over the alter she made her way slowly to the double doors.
The sunlight was refreshing after the dimly lit church. It only took a moment for her eyes to adjust and than to register the fact that Pansy was not where she had left her. Hobbling as fast as she could, Grandmother set down the nearest path as if on her way home. Pansy would be a fool to go so far in an unfamiliar town. However, grief often made people fools…
Despite the slight limp in her left leg, Grandmother managed to reach her house and quickly grab a few flowers before continuing down the path. After describing Pansy to a couple on a bench, she confirmed that the path was the correct one. A more determined look grasped her face and her pace quickened.
The cemetery was only one street more and Grandmother paused a moment to catch her breath. Pansy could not have come this far! Limping along the rest of the street, Grandmother turned in the small gate that led to the old cemetery. She would be no use to Pansy if she could not even walk without panting…she would just lay the flowers on Connor’s grave than resume the search. After all, it was only nearly twelve.
Moss covered gravestones stuck from the lush earth and ancient trees stood as silent guards of the hollowed ground. A small winding path led around the plots and low fences of the cemetery. A left turn and Grandmother was taken by surprise. Pansy lay on the thick grass by Connor’s gravestone, apparently asleep.
Grandmother smiled and limped forward. Only when she had kneeled ungracefully by the grave that Pansy began to stir. Stifling a large yawn, Pansy blinked and sat up.
“What happened? Grandma?” Pansy covered her mouth to hide another yawn but was rapidly gaining her senses. Grandmother placed the flowers she had taken from home onto the grass-covered grave. A tiny prayer asking for Connor’s deliverance from purgatory and than Grandmother turned to face Pansy. A plan was starting to form in her old mind…perhaps if Pansy knew exactly what had happened to her father’s family than she would be more appreciative.
“I met your grandfather in my third year at Hogwarts. We were both in Slytherin but for some reason we never talked…” Pansy’s eyes grew wide as the tragic story unfolded; unrequited love, jealousy, an unexpected kiss and finally, true love and marriage. This was like one of the many fairy tales.
_______________________________________
MaryAnn glanced over at her beloved husband Connor. Even after nearly ten years of marriage, she still got that lurching in her stomach every time he walked through the door. He rubbed his right arm, a grimace of pain across his angelic face. Despite the long sleeved black shirt, MaryAnn knew what lay beneath.
“He’s calling?” She asked but knew the answer immediately.
“Take Henry and go to your Grandmother’s…he’s angry…so angry…” Connor grimaced again and she saw fear in his clear blue eyes. If Connor was afraid…MaryAnn stifled a cry and instead planted a kiss on his cheek and whispering, good luck, into his ear. Connor apparated away, called by his powerful master.
MaryAnn clutched her heart and sat for a moment in Connor’s still warm chair. The pounding of her heart increased as she began to rock back and forth in the chair. Slowly, the kitchen began to melt away and the smell of burning wood and coppery blood met her nose. Screams of pain and anger met her ears and but she could only hear one small voice clearly.
‘Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? With Connor gone, you must move on, or Henry shall follow in the row. Mary, Mary, quite contrary, Connor is gone…move on…Henry shall follow…’
A footstep on the stairs above her broke the spell and MaryAnn felt a large drop of sweat curse its way down her face. She had to take Henry to her Mother’s…they would be safe there…
__________________________________________
“My Mother…when I arrived sweating, tired with your eight year old father nearly as upset as I was on her doorstep, she took me inside and gave me this.” Grandmother reached to the inside of her shirt and took a small gold chain with a heart on it out. It glittered slightly in the midday sun and Grandmother held it closer to Pansy, “I am going to give this to you, Pansy, because I believe that it can help you. I need you to be strong.” she began quietly, “Your parents are lost but they would want you to remember how much they love you. They would not want you to cry. They would want you to be strong.” Pansy looked from the heart shaped necklace to Grandmother’s wrinkled face. Her mouth opened in question but she closed it abruptly.
“They want us all to be strong. However, especially, they want you to be strong. You will have to be strong as the gold in the heart. Can you do that for your Mom and Da?” Grandmother looked expectantly at Pansy. She paused for a moment than nodded furiously. The necklace fit easily over Pansy’s head and she clasped the gold in her hand. Its calming shape fit perfectly in the palm of her hand and she looked back up at Grandmother.
“So what do we do now?” Pansy asked, thumbing the heart before tucking it under her shirt. Grandmother paused for a moment, carefully deciding her answer.
“What do we do? We go home. I have an extra place set for Connor to come and eat dinner with us. Later tonight, the children will come door to door and ask for handouts for the dead. I, we, have to be there to hand them out.”
There was a moment of silence than;
“That sounds good.” Pansy smiled, “And after?”
“That, granddaughter, is up to you. Do you want to leave…?”
“I think that…I think that I’ll look for my parents.”
“I see.”
There was another moment of silence, which Pansy tried to say what her rampaging thoughts wanted her to.
“Grandmother?”
“Yes, Pansy?”
“Thank you.”
The Necklace by AshNight
Chapter Notes: A/N: Alright, this is the second to last chapter with only the epilogue next! Thanks for sticking with me for so long.