Tonks was not coping well with Remus' rejection. She permanently walked around with her hair a mousy brown. It was lank and greasy where she hadn't bothered to wash it. What was the point if he wasn't around to see it?
Besides, it wasn't as if her job required her to look perfect, or even remotely pretty. Running around keeping an eye on the deaths that she couldn't stop. There wasn't a point.
During the day, she tried to appear cheerful, but usually just came across as weary and distracted. Mrs Weasley and her delicious cooking was one way of helping her, but how long would that last? Eventually, even the most patient of people would grow bored and tired of her constant despair.
However, it wasn't until the beginning of September that she realised just how bad she was.
Dumbledore had given her the job of stationing at Hogsmeade and making sure all the students, especially Harry got off the train and into Hogwarts without any major ado. Especially Harry. Did I mention that Harry was the prime reason she was there?
She took her post and tried to look casual, although she couldn't stop the occasional sigh and muffled sob.
Hermione proclaimed that her downward attitude was due to blaming herself for Sirius' death. That was partly true, she did, if she hadn't been so weak, that bloody Lestrange woman wouldn't have been able to kill him.
It wasn't just that, though. Remus loved her, but couldn't love her. It didn't make sense. If they both loved each other, surely nothing else mattered? He didn't seem to think so. He avoided her, even ignored her, it drove her crazy! Why could he not just love her? Who cared how much he could hurt or damage her? She didn't care!
Her thoughts were somewhat disturbed by the arrival of the Hogwarts Express. She stood up straight and tried to smile at the students. Some of the first years didn't come up to her waist. She had never been that short, she was sure.
However, it wasn't until all the children had left the train when she realised Harry wasn't among them. She had idly watched Ron and Hermione dismount and wander towards the carriages looking vaguely concerned and thought nothing of it.
Then the realisation hit her and she dashed through the crowds and leapt onto the train before it could leave. She thoroughly searched every single carriage twice over until she remembered that he had the invisibility cloak. Damn her forgetfulness! It was no wonder Remus didn’t like her.
She strode through the train once again, searching for any sign of misplacement, and eventually spotted the tip of a faded white trainer showing.
She stepped in, lifted the material and found a bloodied and scared young boy lying beneath, obviously under the full body bind.
"Wotcher, Harry, you alright there, mate?" she greeted him as cheerfully as she could manage as she repaired his broken nose, cleaned him up a bit and helped him to his feet.
"Thanks, Tonks, Malfoy hexed me!" he exclaimed.
She managed a smile.
"I guessed. We'd better get up to the school, you'll be missed."
Harry nodded and they jumped off the train.
On the way up to the school, they bumped into Snape. Tonks had never particularly liked him and, especially now, didn't wish to speak to him.
"Ah, Mister Potter! How nice of His Highness to bother coming to school. I'll take it from here, Nymphadora," he smirked.
Tonks winced at the mention of her first name, but nodded. She was too tired to insist on escorting Harry all the way up to the school.
"Alright, I'll just let Dumbledore know I've got him," she submitted and sent her Patronus up to meet him.
She almost gasped in shock when she saw that her Patronus had changed. She hadn't needed to use it in a while. It had transformed into a werewolf. She glanced nervously at her companions, silently hoping they hadn't noticed.
Harry was frowning slightly and Snape's lip had curled into a sarcastic smile. Damnit! They had...
"You do realise, Nymphadora, that your new Patronus seems a little, well, pathetic?" Snape hissed, before sweeping off like the overgrown bat he was.
"Thanks, Tonks, I'll see you around," Harry grinned, before rushing off after the Professor.
Tonks was left, seething with anger, watching the retreating backs of the git and the boy.
*
Over the next few months, Tonks suspiciously took every single job that required her to be in or near Hogwarts. She was caught several times by teachers or students and stupidly told them she was looking for Dumbledore. When she was lucky, they didn't realise that he wasn't around much anymore.
Secretly, she hoped she would bump into Remus, just so they could be alone for a few moments. However, whenever she spotted anyone who looked even remotely like him, she ducked behind the nearest wall, suit of armour or first year student.
All of these resulted in weird looks as most of the walls were actually doors in disguise, the suits of armours where eerily realistic and the students were mostly half her size.
She kept this obsessive castle searching up of most of the year, eventually retreating when she was needed more urgently elsewhere.
The only time she really got to see him was when the Death Eaters stormed the castle. And that wasn't exactly time for a cosy chat about romance.
They fought, as hard as they could, but it was hopeless. There weren't enough of the Order. They did their best though, and came away with no good lives lost. Except one.
Gathered in the Hospital Wing, Harry relayed everything leading up to and everything that happened after Dumbledore's death. Tonks was distraught. Remus completely lost it, sinking into a chair, covering his face with his hands and muttering under his breath. It broke Tonks' heart.
The thing that made her snap, however, was the least likely thing she would ever expect. Whilst she had been watching Remus cry, Mrs Weasley and Fleur had been having a small argument. Fleur suddenly shrieked:
"So, you zink I can't love 'im anymore? Is zat it? You zink zat because he is a werewolf, I cannot love 'im? You crazy woman! Of course I still love 'im! I am beautiful enough to make up for 'is sweet misshapen face!"
Tonks stared, something inside her stirring. Something she hadn't felt for a long time. It was hope.
Suddenly she knew what to do. Remus had just stood, so she dashed over to him, grabbing the lapels of his shabby jacket.
"You see! I told you! She doesn't care! She doesn't care! They still love each other! Why won't you listen?" she cried.
Remus frowned and turned his head away from her to study the floor.
"The situations are completely different, there's a big chance Bill won't ever become a fully-fledged werewolf, he could-"
"No! Shut up and just listen! They are in the same situation, and they don't care, they still love each other!"
Remus' head snapped up and his brown eyes locked with hers.
"Tonks, you deserve someone younger than me, someone younger and... whole...someone younger and whole," he said softly whilst gently prising her hands away from his chest.
Tonks was distraught; he still wouldn't listen and understand? The idiot! Then, the uncomfortable silence was broken.
"Now, now, Remus, younger men don't stay young, and most of them can't stay whole," Mrs Weasley told him, gesturing sadly and Bill.
Tonks smiled at her. At least someone was on her side. Throughout everything, Mrs Weasley had been there for her, comforting her and cursing Remus every step of the way.
But Remus didn't listen, and they sat in silence for the remainder of their time in the Hospital Wing.
*
Mrs Weasley, Fleur, Tonks and Remus all left together. Remus was slumping behind, his shoulders tense and his face in a sad frown. Tonks deliberately walked slower to keep in pace with him, she was also hoping to catch him and speak to him in private.
Her moment arrived when Mrs Weasley 'twisted her ankle'. Fleur stopped to exclaim how annoying twisted ankles were.
Tonks also stooped to help, but Mrs Weasley gave her a stern and meaningful glance and nodded in the direction of a concerned looking Remus.
Tonks frowned, confused, then realised what Mrs Weasley meant. She turned to Remus, a determined look on her face.
"Remus, if you're not too busy doing nothing, I'd like to ask you something," Tonks said.
He sighed; brows knitted and eventually controlled his emotions enough to look quizzical.
"I need chocolate," Tonks replied, slightly more brightly than usual.
Everyone stopped fussing and stared in alarm.
"Well, zat moment of opportunity 'as gone!" Fleur cried, flapping her arms in exasperation.
Mrs Weasley sighed, sidled over to Tonks and shoved her in the general direction of Remus. Being the gentleman he was, Remus automatically ran to catch her, whilst Mrs Weasley and Fleur ran to Apparate, despite Mrs Weasley's 'twisted ankle'.
"Are you ok?" Remus asked, placing Tonks back on her feet.
She shrugged.
"Not really."
"Look, Tonks, I'm sorry the way I've been treating you, but it's really not possible to be together," Remus explained.
She looked up at him.
"But you said you loved me," she whispered.
Remus' head snapped up and, once again, their eyes locked.
"When did I say that?" he asked, his face more pale and his lips whiter than usual.
"That evening in my room, you said it just before you Apparated, I bet you think I didn't see it, but I did!" she cried, smiling triumphantly.
Remus stared at her sadly. She was so upset, it was getting to her head, it was crazy. He had only seen a glint like the one in her eye once before. The night he was reunited with Sirius. That manic, inhumane smile, the wild eyes and tousled hair. Remus was actually scared.
"Tonks, please, this will not work, it cannot work! It defies all logical explanations, a girl in her early twenties and a werewolf? It's unheard of! Please, I am begging you to stop, before it's too late," he pleaded.
"But I don't care! Why can't you see that, you idiot? I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE POOR, OR DANGEROUS OR WHATEVER! YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT A MILLION TIMES! I'M NOT A KID, FOR GOD'S SAKE! I'M TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD!" she screamed, suddenly letting out all the anger and frustration she had stored over the past year.
Remus looked as sturdy as ever, staring at his shoes with mild interest. After a few awkward seconds of silence, he sighed, shoved his hands in his shabby pockets and looked Tonks straight in the eye.
"I'm not trying to treat you as a baby, Tonks, and I offer my humblest apologies if you feel patronized by me, but this is exactly what I mean. I would end up treating you like a child, and you treating me as a father. I will say it again; we will not work," he told her, staring her down, something which made him feel extremely uncomfortable.
Eventually, he broke the gaze and started to stride off, hands still in his pockets, as usual a picture of depression and shabbiness.
"But you love me," Tonks stated, almost inaudibly.
He had heard though.
Remus stopped walking, and turned slowly. His expression had completely changed as if he had transformed into a different, less self-conscious man. He strode back towards Tonks, a fresh determination lining every shadow of his face.
As he grew closer, she noticed a fiery determination in his usually soft eyes.
When he reached her, he grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Tonks was so stunned, she couldn't move. Remus also seemed shocked and appalled at himself.
It could have been, minutes, days, months, years or a lifetime before they broke away.
"You're right," Remus said, simply, "I do love you. I always have done, ever since you tripped over that damn troll's leg umbrella stand."
The realisation of what he had said finally sunk in. Tonks' face split into a massive grin, ruined slightly by the scrunching up of her nose to transform her hair into the usual bubblegum pink.
When she had finished, she threw her arms around Remus and sobbed heartily on his shoulder, out of joy, relief and many other emotions she had yet to identify.
Remus wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, savouring the fact that they were finally together.
The moment was somewhat ruined by a flock of owls flying overhead, the, ah, 'results' of their dinners landing on and around the lovers.
Whilst Tonks squealed, Remus laughed and said:
"Well, you know, bird poo is supposed to be lucky."
For this, he earned a rather unjustified punch from Tonks.
*
Dumbledore's funeral was held a few days later. Tonks and Remus dressed respectfully in black, clasping hands as they walked towards the seats that had been set up.
Although a sad day, there was a fresh hope and new love in the air.
And, after all, love is the only true thing one needs to survive.