“Lily.” SamLin looked at her, as if trying to find out her secrets by looking into her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell us?”
“It would be better for you to get your feelings out,” Alice offered.
“Sure it would be,” Lily said sarcastically, looking down at her feet to avoid eye contact with her friends, “Miss I-Got-To-Have-A-Romantic-Stroll-In-The-Moonlight-With-Someone-Who-I-Am-Going-To-Hogsmeade-With-Next-Month, while I simply got drunk and taken advantage of. After all, Alice, not everyone has a perfect love story.”
Alice crossed her arms angrily. “It’s not love! It’s not even puppy love! Or a crush! It was blackmail!”
Lily ignored her.
Ever since that Saturday night, Lily felt all bitterness and anger her heart could take. She had fallen into a drunken sleep, and could vaguely remember two voices shouting when they saw her (Lily was guessing this was SamLin and Alice) and half-carrying half-dragging her up the dormitory stairs. There was something cool on her forehead, and a hot tea had been ordered courtesy of Katie (Lily thought it was her since she heard someone shouting at a house elf). Then, the next morning, she woke up with an even worse headache than on the train and puked out things that she probably ate in her other lifetimes, when things were perfect. Now here she was: with a horrible migraine, being pestered by her friends, and her dignity lost. And through it all, she couldn’t help but still feel sorry for Willard’s tragic past that lead to his behavior. Darn it!
“Lily, it’s okay,” Emily said. “I had a horrible night, too. But maybe if you tell us, we can help you figure it out.”
Lily exploded. “Help?! You’re not going to help, Emily! You’re going to go to all of the other brainless popular girls and whisper to them about Lily Evans, that girl with a broken heart and hangover!”
Emily sat back on her bed, quiet.
“Look, Lily,” Katie was suddenly saying, slamming her book on her bed. “You’re being stupid. You’re keeping all your emotions inside of you. And does that help? No. And then when we’re trying to help you, you have to be Miss Sadistic! I am not putting up with that anymore! Just tell us!” Katie’s eyes were lighting up with anger.
Lily burst into tears again.
“Way to go, Katie,” Emily said sarcastically. Both of them had come to a rocky truce, but there still were always disagreements. “Lil, she didn’t mean that “”
“Yes she did!” Lily suddenly screamed. All of her friends looked at her, and the tea SamLin was holding fell to the ground. Tears stung her eyes. “I’m just a horrible b “”
“No you’re not, Lily,” SamLin said, patting her shoulders, clearly knowing what she was about to say.
“Yes I am!” Lily wailed. She sniffled; Alice ran to fetch a handkerchief. “You guys are just being nice to me and I just have to keep being stupid!” Lily let out a strangled sob.
“It’s okay, Lily.” Katie suddenly dropped to her knees and look at her. “I was just trying reverse psychology.”
Was Lily imagining it, or was Katie smiling?
Lily kind of smiled too. “And it worked.”
“However,” Alice said, “and no offense to you, Katie, but I still think you’d make a horrible therapist.”
Katie burst out laughing, and so did Lily. SamLin, Emily, and Alice looked confused but joined in. Soon, they were all laughing so hard they were crying.
“Okay, Lily,” SamLin said, pressing her hand up against her face to stop the tears flowing. “Now can you tell us the whole story so we can fix it?”
Lily sighed, finally ready. “I don’t know if you can fix the hole in my heart, but I think I can fill it up. Somehow.” In some way, they seemed to understand a little bit of what had happened from that comment, and not longer bothered her about the details.
*
“Mail’s here!” Katie announced to everyone at Gryffindor table.
It was about near the end of November and really close to holiday time. Everyone was anticipating the break.
Lily looked up; sure enough, the owls were coming.
Soon, all of packages and mail came down. SamLin, Lily, Katie, and Emily “ the four most horrific people at catching, left it all up to Alice. They watched her as she caught a green package midair, along with the Daily Prophet, about two letters, and another package.
“Okay!” Alice shouted. “Letter for SamLin. And letter for...me.” She handed the letter to SamLin; letters were particularly hard to throw. Alice stuffed her letter in her pocket. “Package for Emily. Package for...me.” She tossed the package in the air and Emily actually managed to catch it while Alice tucked her package underneath her left arm. “And...Daily Prophet for Katie. Not for me.” She dropped the newspaper near Katie’s plate.
Frank did a catcall. Lily could see Alice roll her eyes.
“Remind me again, Allie, which day you’ve got your hot date?” Emily asked loudly.
“Shut up, Emily,” Alice grumbled, ripping open her package.
“Don’t deny it, Alice Swith,” Emily said in a sing-song voice. “You like him.”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll admit I like him.” Lily was surprised that Alice’s tone was not sarcastic and she had a big smile on her face.
That’s weird, she mused, buttering her bagel.
Even though Emily had made up with all of them, Lily couldn’t help but notice strange things happening. If Emily got in trouble (which was often), she was never punished if caught. She also noticed more students worshipping the ground Emily walked on, but they never whispered about her, like normally. Alice and Katie were almost never mad with her anymore, even if she said something insulting. And, Lily also observed, if they looked like they were on the verge of becoming angry, they suddenly had a mood switch. The professors were starting to believe all of Emily’s excuses of being late/getting bad grades/forgetting homework. Her powers of persuasion somehow increased. And Lily also saw that she was giddy. Emily never stopped giggling these days, and was always happy, even if a situation was depressing in any way. Maybe these were positive changes, but Lily had a thought there was more behind them.
SamLin was humming as she opened her letter.
“So, Allie, what’s the plan for Christmas break?” Emily asked perkily, sipping her pumpkin juice.
“I’m going to go over Frank’s for a little while,” Alice replied, a little bit of a blush forming. It was normal to them, nowadays, to notice Alice blush at the mention of Frank Longbottom in any conversation.
“’Bout you?” Emily asked Katie.
Katie stared at Emily. It wasn’t a quizzical or hard stare; just a stare. “Em, did you slip something into your pumpkin juice?”
“What’re you talking ‘bout?” Emily asked breezily, and that was the end of that discussion. “So, where are you going?” Emily’s tone took on a more demanding one.
“Over Remus’.” Both prefects were still very close.
“Oh-la-la. Remus and Katie sitting in a tree, K-I-S “”
“We’re just friends,” Katie said, skimming the Prophet and rolling her eyes.
“That’s what they all say,” Emily said in her sing-song tone again. “And what about you, Lil?” Emily giggled.
“Home,” Lily answered. Though she despised the thought of going back to that place, she didn’t want to stay away that long. After all, even with her being a witch and all, they were her family, and life seemed impossible without them.
“Hmmm...” Emily hmmm-ed already looking bored with the conversation. “You, Sammie?”
Silence. Lily looked over, and saw SamLin looking at the letter she was holding despairingly. Her hand was shaking and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.
“Earth to SamLin,” Emily said, laughing.
“Sammie?” Lily asked quietly, resting a hand on her shoulder. It was quivering.
“Are you okay?” Katie asked, even though she and her friends knew something wasn’t okay.
Suddenly, SamLin gave a sob and started hitting her head on the table. The silverware rattled again and the Gryffindors looked over at her, whispering.
With another cry, SamLin ran out of the Great Hall, tears flying everywhere.
“Where’s she going?” Lily heard a second-year ask. “The sixth years have classes,” he said, as if no one in the world knew that but him.
Lily looked at her friends for suggestions. Emily shrugged, still looking pretty perky. Alice looked serious once again and worried about her friend. Katie looked anxious enough for all of them.
“I’ll go to her during my free period,” Lily told them all. Alice and Katie solemnly nodded, but Emily just shrugged again.
However, Lily couldn’t help but look over at the Marauders as she exited the Great Hall to go to Transfiguration. And she noticed Sirius was there, laughing with James at some joke Peter was telling while the others “ Frank and Remus “ looked concerned (obviously about SamLin’s breakdown).
Something, maybe it was intuition, but something told Lily that Sirius knew something that they all didn’t.
And she resolved to find out what and why.
Is it Pride or Prejudice? by Stormbringer
Chapter Notes: Lily is in complete denial to romance, and SamLin begins to feel that way too when she recieves a certain letter with some certain news.