She was shaking so hard. Her hair was longer and duller. Beads of water dropped from everywhere on her body even though it was a warm and lovely day. But the worst part was her eyes--bloodshot behind the jade-green--because Lily last remembered them as laughing.
“Merlin,” Alice breathed, as all four watched Emily twist and turn on Katie’s couch. “What happened to her?”
Katie pushed away her bangs and looked down worriedly. “I’m not exactly sure,” she said, wringing her hands.
But she was.
*
James placed Emily on top of the towel Katie placed on her couch. She was shivering. Katie threw the blanket on the sofa on top of Emily.
“James,” Katie whispered, as Emily closed her eyes, “where did you find her? What happened?”
He looked around, even though they both knew perfectly well that they were the only ones in the household. “Can you keep a secret?”
The look Katie gave him was enough to suffice as an answer.
“Okay, okay.” James took a deep breath. “Well, it was an accident, really. I was trying to Apparate--anywhere--and I found myself in Knockturn Alley.” Katie nodded. “I realized where I was and I tried to leave when I saw them.”
“Willard and Emily?” Katie whispered, looking over at Emily, whose eyelids were fluttering.
“Precisely. He was...” James swallowed.
“Tell me.”
“Well, they were fighting. It was pretty intense, and at first I wasn’t even sure it was them, until she shook her head and I saw her eyes.” Katie rubbed her wrist, looking intently at James. “I knew it was her then. But before I could tell her I was there, Willard had his wand out, pointing at her throat. He cast Silencio and started screaming at her.” James was shaking his head. “There were people walking by, and they didn’t even look at them twice.”
Katie felt her eyes get all blurry and watery. “No.”
“Then he tried to put the Imperius curse on her. She kept resisting. Finally, he got so frustrated he cast the Cruciatus curse. Merlin, she looked like if the Silencing spell was taken off of her, she could’ve let out a scream that would kill thousands of people.” Katie gasped and put her hand over her lips. “But she was still strong. It went on for hours. The reason she’s wet is because she’s covered in sweat. Yet I couldn’t intervene because it might’ve made him even angrier and do something even worse. But then Willard knew he was such a wimp that he’d never be able to even attempt the Killing Curse, so he just reached across and started strangling her.”
Katie’s knees gave away. “Merlin. I always knew he was bad, but--”
“Exactly.” James sat cross-legged on the floor opposite her.
“He is such scum.” Katie wiped at her eyes. “What did you do?”
“I punched him.”
Despite her tears, Katie smiled. “Nice.”
“Then I carried her away. You were the closest, Carroll.”
“Thank you for bringing her here.” Katie threw her arms around James, and he let out a strangled cry. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly, pulling away.
“It’s okay. Just promise me one thing?”
“Of course.” Katie looked over at Emily, whose breathing was shallow but steady.
“Don’t tell your friends I brought her here. Especially Lily.”
“What?” Katie stood up, looking down at James. “Why?”
“I have my reasons.” James seemed bitter, but she didn’t question it.
“Then what do I say?” she asked.
“Tell them she stumbled here, and told you what had happened before passing out. I dunno.” James shrugged and stood up. “But whatever you do, leave me out of it, Carroll.”
Katie nodded dumbly. James nodded curtly and headed toward the door.
“Oh.” He turned around. “I know you and your friends were really mad at Emily for changing and turning dark and you blame yourselves. Don’t. Nothing was ever your fault. She’s been drinking Felix Felicis, and that’s the only reason why she took up with Willard.”
Katie shook her head. “It is our fault, James. We could’ve stopped it. We could’ve realized. And I think we’re the reason she started taking it in the first place.”
“Maybe. But Emily’s been--no offense--messed up for years, way beyond your help. The best you can even do now is just be her friend.” Then he headed out the door, into the sunset and leaving behind a very confused Katie with someone she thought hated her.
*
“I really don’t know,” Katie repeated, still wringing her hands. “Just a little.” She fed them the story that James had told her to say. “So I think the best we can do is just be her friend.”
Alice looked down at Emily. “Why?”
“Alice,” SamLin pleaded, “she’s obviously been messed up for years, just like Katie said. If she doesn’t want our help, that’s fine. But if she truly needs it, I’ll be damned if any of you walk out on this friendship.” She then looked at Emily, who was whimpering in her sleep.
Lily looked over at Katie, who was biting her nails. There was something that needed to be explained, and Lily knew it.
“Er...Katie?” she asked tentatively.
Katie dropped her hands from her mouth. “Yes?”
“Want to come show me where the Muggle medicine is?” she asked.
Katie looked confused. “Lily, you know my birthday’s in June, so I just turned seventeen and that means--”
The look Lily flashed Katie shut her up. She got up and followed her red-haired friend into the bathroom. Lily pointed her wand at the door and with a simple incantation, locked it.
“Okay, Katie,” Lily said. “Try to play along next time, okay?”
Katie nodded sheepishly. “What do you want?”
“There’s more to the story, isn’t there?” Katie looked at her sandals. “You know. What happened, Katie? Why can’t you tell SamLin or Alice?”
“I shouldn’t be telling you especially,” Katie muttered. “He warned me not to.”
Lily grabbed Katie’s arm. “Who warned you?”
Katie glanced at the door. She pulled out her wand and said, “Muffliato.”
Lily looked at her strangely. “What is that one?”
“I picked it up somewhere,” Katie whispered. “I dunno. This way Alice and Sammie won’t hear. I’m not supposed to tell any of you, but if I must, I’d better not let the others know.”
“Know what?” Lily was extremely impatient. “What, Kate?”
Katie looked so nervous she didn’t even snap at Lily for calling her “Kate”. “James. James Potter.”
Lily imagined herself paling, but then reminded herself she was already deathly pale because of her cursed red hair. “What?”
Katie leaned on the counter for support, and spilled everything to Lily. She gasped and whimpered at all the appropriate parts, and cried out when Katie told her Emily was strangled by Willard. But the part that got to Lily most of all was when James entered.
“He carried her all the way here?”
“I think he must’ve Apparated, but yeah, he did come here with her.”
“And why the hell wouldn’t he want us to know this?” Lily asked in shock.
Katie shrugged and sniffled. “He wouldn’t explain. I’m sorry, Lily.”
She reached over and hugged her friend. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Katie. It’s fine. We’ll all be fine.”
Katie moaned, but hugged her friend back. “I know. I’m going back out there to help.” She withdrew from the hug. “Alohomora.” The door swung open. “Do you need a moment alone?” Her eyes searched Lily’s for an answer.
“That actually would be lovely.” Lily took a deep breath. “I’ll be out in a moment, okay?”
Katie nodded and closed the door behind her.
Lily slumped to the ground.
She was over the shock of what happened to Emily, but she still could not believe that James Potter helped. James Potter, arrogant git. James Potter, the person who ruined her friend’s life. James Potter, proud and cold. James Potter, someone she promised never to be infatuated with.
But why would he do that? Emily’s problem was not his; it was theirs. So why did he go and rescue her?
Did he do it for Lily?
She shook her head. It was impossible. Definitely impossible. The proof was in the letter that was buried within the depths of her trunk. If he couldn’t apologize in person, it obviously meant he hadn’t really forgiven her. Or maybe he had, but was too cowardly to tell it to her face.
It didn’t make any sense!
*
Emily appeared to be getting better to Lily, but none of them could be so sure. There were some days when she would sit up and smile at them, but then there were those where she would just lie almost lifeless on the couch, staring at the crack in the ceiling. But whatever she did, it always broke their hearts.
They were all being supportive of her in their own ways. SamLin was by far the best at it, hardly ever leaving her friend’s side. Katie would make comforting meals, like hot soup and casserole, and also would read aloud some parts of the book she was reading that day. Lily would give Emily her medicine, and was always prepared to go to St. Mungo’s if things got worse. It wasn’t very easy for Alice, since she held grudges the longest, but she would occasionally help Katie in the kitchen or do something for Emily in her own sort of way. But for all of them, it was still very, very hard.
The Carrolls didn’t mind the four extra additions to their household, and the Andersons and the Swiths didn’t seem to miss their daughters’ (or company’s) presence. And that was good for the five girls, because they needed this time for themselves, to catch up and forgive and move on.
But Lily couldn’t take it any longer.
Thoughts of James Potter plagued her every time she glanced over at her broken friend. His hazel eyes seemed imprinted on her mind. All she wanted to do was to see him and apologize. But then, ever day, she was reminded that though he had solved one problem, he hadn’t fixed them all. Or the one that really mattered to Lily that was entirely his fault, anyway.
She shook her head and looked over at Emily, who could actually use the spoon now when eating. She was gulping down the creamy tomato soup, as SamLin sat by her and Alice sat on the armrest, whistling. Katie had her wand out and was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. Lily sighed.
It seemed presumptuous to her to think that James had to do more for them, because he had brought her friends together once again, and that should’ve been good enough. But Lily--however much she hated herself for it--couldn’t really see him as perfect unless he solved the disaster between SamLin and Sirius.
The doorbell split through her thoughts, and everyone turned to the front door. Katie dropped her wand, which caused the pot to fall on the floor. “Oh, crap.” Emily cocked her head to the side, and smiled strangely.
“Maybe you should get the door, Lily,” she said, and all of the others looked at her in amazement. Emily had hardly strung together a few words, let alone a coherent sentence, since she had been brought in eleven days ago.
Lily nodded dumbly, and stood up, walking toward the door. Who could’ve been calling?
She flung open the door and her eyes started swimming.
Oh, Merlin. It was James Potter. With Sirius Black. But her (wait--her?) James Potter was still there.
Her knees went a little weak, but she straightened herself up and asked, “Why are you here?”
Okay, maybe it wasn’t the politest phrasing. But she might as well beat around the bush.
James looked over at Sirius, and nudged him. Sirius looked stricken and pale. Sirius never looked stricken or pale or both--unless SamLin was around. “Uh...” Sirius trailed off, wringing his hands. “SamLin’s here?”
“Of course,” Lily answered, gesturing toward the living room. “She’s with Emily.”
Sirius ignored the last part, practically running past her to see SamLin. James gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry. He just forgets his manners when she’s concerned.”
“No problem.” Lily waved her hand in the air. “Do you--do you want to come inside?” Her tone was expectant.
James ran a hand through his hair. “I will, but I won’t keep you long.” Together, they walked into the living room.
Sirius was just stared--unashamedly, for once--at SamLin. She kept blushing and squeezing Emily’s hand, looking away from Sirius’ gaze.
“SamLin, I--” Sirius put his hands behind his back so she couldn’t see how much he was wringing them. “I--”
SamLin stared curiously at Sirius. The rest of the room was trying to pointedly ignore what was going on between the two, and failing miserably.
“I--” Sirius tried again, but his throat just kept closing up. He gulped and looked at everyone else. “Do you mind giving me some space?”
Alice nodded slowly, and everyone followed suit. They weren’t sure what would happen if they left SamLin in a room with her ex-boyfriend. But they obviously wanted to know. Slowly, Katie and Alice scooped up Emily and carried her into Katie’s bedroom. Lily and James headed into the spare room.
Lily closed the door behind them. “So...what lead to this sudden revelation of Sirius’?”
James turned around and crossed his arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do,” Lily wanted to practically shout. “Yes, you do!”
James faced her, looking angry. “Why?”
“How should I know? You’re the one doing it!” She didn’t want this to turn into another argument. Not now. She took a deep breath. “Is it possible you feel some remorse for what you did? Because I know Sirius is too shy around SamLin to pluck up the courage to see her again.”
James lowered his arms. “Perhaps.”
Lily examined him, but he showed no sign of elaborating further. “So that’s why you did it,” she said flatly.
“Of course.”
She felt so frustrated at the lack of answers he was giving her. She got right in his face and snarled, “Or perhaps there might be another reason.”
He was taken aback by the sudden closeness, but all he did was narrow his eyes and say, “You think everything I do is for a bad purpose? Well, it’s not always. Just because I’m a Marauder doesn’t mean I don’t care. Because I do. Because I’m doing this all for--” He broke off suddenly and just gave her a desperate look.
“All for what?” Lily was trying frantically to look anywhere but his hazel eyes, but that only made her stare at his mouth. Oh, Merlin.
James looked like he was trying to say something, but the noises that came out resembled someone being strangled. Lily waited.
Suddenly, she noticed that the inhuman noises had ceased and now he was just staring at her. It was making her stomach swoop, being looked at like that. Lily knew she had to put some distance in between them before something unconventional could happen.
However, she was too slow, because James had already leaned over and kissed her.
Oh, my. She probably would’ve collapsed if James hadn’t circled his arms around her waist. Her heart was in her throat and her legs felt possessed. She flung her arms around his neck, needing something to hold onto so she wouldn’t fall.
They remained that way until James lifted her off the ground and placed her on the bed, so they were more level. Lily was enjoying every moment of this, though she wasn’t sure if she should’ve been.
And yet was just only after a moment longer James pulled away.
Lily was in shock. Was it a mistake? Was she a terrible kisser?
“Lily,” he gasped, breathing hard, “I can’t do this.”
Indignation seized her. “Why not? You’re the one who kissed me.”
“But I shouldn’t have,” he said quietly.
The door flung open. There stood an excited-looking Katie. “Oh, Merlin, guys. SamLin and Sirius have definitely made up.” She raised her eyebrow and smiled. “Come see.” She didn’t even notice how close her two friends were.
“Uh, yes.” Lily gulped. “We’ll be out in a moment.”
Katie nodded and disappeared.
James stood up. “I should go,” he muttered.
“No, Potter,” Lily growled. “You have more explaining to do.” She rose too.
“I--I can’t.” James looked at her. And then with a pop he was gone, leaving Lily with unanswered questions and more confused than ever.
Is it Pride or Prejudice? by Stormbringer
Chapter Notes: While the four girls help heal their friend, Lily has her suspicions about what James is up to, but is unable to tell whether his intentions are good or bad.