Good is an Illusion by AFootyFan
Chapter Notes: Sorry, the story was deleted by some kind of glitch. This is a bit of a slow and dreary start, but it's bound to be more up-beat in the chapters to come! Review, even if all you have to say is negative! Constuctive criticism! I'm all for it! :)
Lily Evans stared unseeingly out the rain strewn, darkening window. A lone black cat stalked the cramped street below, dodging open spaces and prowling behind trash cans or benches the lined the crumbling sidewalk. His lantern-like eyes moved to and fro, searching with no success for a source of food. Just like us… Lily realized as a tear escaped her emerald green eyes. The cat, with nothing to feed it, would soon die, as would Lily and her friends with no hope. No hope of a way out of this nightmare meant almost certain death. Lord Voldemort, as he now called himself, would never end the killings, unless he was somehow satisfied, and Lily doubted that day would come soon.
She shivered and returned her attention to the cat which had managed to scavenge a blackened piece of meat from an overturned bin, and was now galloping off, prize in mouth.
Perhaps there was hope, after all. Finding it would mean reaching into some dark possibilities. Sacrifices of many lives would be made, but the war would end. The cat was finally out of sight, safe from the dangers of brawling animals. He would be able to feed his family tonight…
Lily’s eyes dropped to her pale, clammy hands that rested on the window sill. She hadn’t seen Petunia in over three years, not since the deaths of Mary and Jacob Evans. Lily couldn’t blame her sister, because this was all her own fault. Her parents would have been still alive, happy and ignorant of the deaths and evil surrounding. With no wizarding connections, they would have never been tracked and murdered.
She took an unsteady breath. It had been a long time since she had pulled up the memory of her family. More often by far, she would block them all out. Petunia may have never talked to Lily again, but Lily would never trust herself to love anyone again, wizarding world or not. She deserved this pain, every second of it. She had deprived both worlds of two extraordinary people that she could never make up for.
When she looked out the window again it was pitch black, and the tiny dots of rain were slowly making their way down to the bottom of the glass. Sleep tonight would come no easier than it ever did, but she extinguished the floating candles and climbed into her cold, unwelcoming bed.
Lily Evans was very much alone, and though she would grieve, the cat would never bring her food. Would she accept it if it did? It was all for the best. What good was she to anyone?
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She was everything. The only thought that kept him going on late night Auror training classes, the only thing that kept him from going mad and painlessly ending it all. She was a lighthouse in the dark rocking waves that he floated helplessly on…Oh, how poetic… He must be off his nut. The war was finally getting to James Potter, the only one, along with Sirius Black, of course, who kept morale up.
Inside, he knew it was all show. They were all just as terrified at the prospect of Lord Voldemort as he was. The most they could do was cross their fingers that they and their friends weren’t called out on something dangerous.
But on top of the war, vigorous Auror training, and poetic writing, James had Lily Evans to think about. It had to be nearly midnight, and Lily had been on his mind all day. Well, he told himself, more like since I met her. The rumors you heard were all true; love at first sight does exist. James experienced it himself thirteen years ago…
James’ eyes fell onto the barrier once more, to see a girl with long, auburn hair and green, almond shaped eyes-
James pushed the flashback out of his thoughts; he had to concentrate on the present version of Lily. He tried to imagine her as she looked now; taller, with longer hair… possibly single…
Of course she wasn’t single! Intelligent, young, beautiful, how could she be? James hadn’t seen her in three years, but he still harbored the same feelings as he always had for her at Hogwarts. He couldn’t honestly say that he’d been with anyone since her.
He gritted his teeth as a magnified voice rang out over the night, cutting his thoughts short. “Alright, everyone, that will do for tonight. This session is over.”
Sirius appeared at his shoulder, panting through his open-mouthed grin. “That’s our signal, Prongs! FOOD!” He linked arms with his bemused friend and skipped toward the edge of the forest that they were in.
The trees thinned and in a rush of open sky revealed an array of stars and a sliver of a moon.
With a guilty twinge, James thought of Remus, recovering from the full moon, alone. Ever since training had come to field work, Sirius and James had been unable to help him through his “furry little problem”, as James had lovingly titled it.
The skipping ceased. “Well, this Auror stuff sure is overrated, eh Prongs?” James broke his eyes away from the sky and looked ahead, where his peers were apperating home, practically falling over in drowsiness.
"Well, girls must love it,” he voiced moving into an unoccupied patch of ground and concentrating on his flat in downtown London. Sirius, not taking the hint, followed, wrapping his arm around James’ shoulders.
“Thought you didn’t care what other girls thought… Thought you were only interested in Evans…” James opened his eyes in surprise, peering over at Sirius though the darkness. He was whistling nonchalantly. James didn’t see how Sirius could possibly know this, as they never discussed James’ love life, only Sirius’ snog life.
He caught James looking and shrugged. “You never agree to meet new women,” he stated simply. It was true, of course. James had hoped eventually Sirius would either not care of assume that James had no interest in women at all. “Why don’t you go and see her? She may even say yes this ti- Ouch!” James had jabbed him playfully in the ribs in response to his tease.
James conjured a long, white glove, flicking his wand to make it slap Sirius’s face.
“I accept your challenge!” Sirius pronounced proudly. A few heads turned and some curious onlookers appeared. Both men grinned. Some things never changed. But, as James’ mind wandered back to his previous thoughts early the next morning, the thoughts of Lily, he knew that was a rare thing.