Chapter Three: A Switch of Tasks
“Professor, I need to talk to you.”
Harry had gone to talk to Lupin nearly ten times the past three days. He was always gone or sleeping or too busy, and Harry couldn’t take no as an answer again.
“Harry, for the last time, the need to call me ‘Professor’ has long passed. Lupin, Remus, either of those would be fine.” He smiled at the young wizard but noticed concern in his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“This seems like an odd, blunt question. I only wish I had though of coming to you earlier. Where’s Sirius? You have to know!”
Lupin’s smile turned into a frown. “Listen Harry, there’s a few things you need to know.”
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Harry knocked. He waited a minute before knocking again. He looked up to the second story window of the run-down old home in Ireland. He thought for a second he saw the curtain move. Harry went to knock a third time, but seconds before his fist made contact with the splintered, black, wooden door, it was pulled open with so much force, he nearly fell, but was embraced my a familiar smelling person.
“Harry. I’m so sorry.”
Harry didn’t know what his godfather was sorry about, but he didn’t inquire any further. Sirius pulled away from Harry and grabbed his face.
“Come in, come in,” Sirius Black said as he motioned inside.
Harry stepped into the house and found it to be magnificent. It was beautiful and looked as if it couldn’t belong to the exterior. The walls were crimson red and the carpet was a strange but wonderful sand color. It seemed that there was no end to the ceiling, but the spiral staircase was the most interesting spot in the whole room.
“It’s quite a change from my last home,” Sirius said with a small smile. He looked around at his house along with Harry. It was rather beautiful.
Harry stopped his visual examination of the room and looked to his godfather. The years had done him some good. His face was finally taking back shape, and his mangy hair had been trimmed and combed more than once a month. His skin had more color and his face had been clean shaven. Harry thought he looked great, but when his godfather turned to look at him, his perception of his wonderful new life fell away.
Harry looked into the eyes of the man who had practically been his father in his late teens and saw the pain, the hurt, and the guilt that Sirius had been holding in. Harry felt the need to hug his godfather and tell him that nothing was his fault. But he didn’t.
Sirius read the mind of the young man standing in front of him.
“Harry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you these past few years. I couldn’t be around this war. I couldn’t be there to see your life in so much danger. I couldn’t lose you and know I could have prevented it. Had I been around, I would have kept a shield over you and you would have grown to resent me.” Sirius tried to explain his reasons the best he could. He knew Harry would want the deeper reasons soon enough, but this could buy him some time.
Harry finally spoke. “Sirius, how do you justify my parent’s deaths as your fault?”
Sirius gaped at Harry. He’s grown so strong, Sirius thought to himself. “I should never have left them.” There it was. He confessed it. “I could have been there to help them, I could have prevented everything that happened, but I was a coward. I was more concerned with my own safety. I should have stayed in that house with you and your parents. Three against one, we could have done something more. Even if he had escaped, they wouldn’t have died.”
Harry saw the guilt of Sirius’s past flow from his eyes in the form of tears. Harry had never thought of that. If Sirius had stayed in the house, he could have helped. Harry thought that this revelation would spark hatred toward the man in front of him, but he soon realized that hatred toward Sirius was impossible. Harry’s unconditional love for his godfather was stronger than any other feeling he had ever been a witness to.
Harry took this moment to hug Sirius. “To tell you the truth, I’m glad you left. Not that I don’t trust your abilities, but you would have died as well. Then where would I be?”
Sirius’s tears were absorbed by the back of Harry’s robes. He is different. He is so much like James yet so different. Sirius felt alive for the first time in seven years. He felt alive for the first time since he lost his chance to take Harry. He felt alive for the first time since he was a free man.
“Come back with me. Start over.” Harry had every intention to bring Sirius home with him before he even left Hogsmeade, but it was now impossible to leave him.
“Gladly.”
Life Of a Wizard by xCoHoRoIoSoToAx
Chapter Notes: As a side note, this story doesn't follow the original books in all aspects.