Chapter Seventy-Four: The Traitor’s Regret
The Death Eater lowered his wand. Lottie stared at him fully expecting for him to kill her, fully expecting to die like Andrea. She stared at the Death Eater behind the mask, wanting to kill him, wanting to tear him apart with her bare hands.
She didn’t have her wand. It had been blasted behind her. If she had, this Death Eater would not be alive now. So she waited, unable to turn her back on him, and unable to move forward. He would kill her”he had her in the perfect checkmate.
But he did not. He lowered his wand slowly and stowed it in his robes. Without saying a word, he began to run, and rushed past her to the stairs.
“Wait!” Lottie spun around and grabbed his arm. This was a completely moronic thing to do, foolish, but she didn’t care anymore. She felt empty.
The Death Eater shook her off. With a surprising amount of strength, he pushed her against the wall and began to walk again.
“Stop!” Lottie lunged forward towards him again, ready to die, ready to kill. She grabbed his shoulder with one hand and used the other to pound furiously against his back.
Again, he pushed her away. Lottie tumbled backwards, tripped and fell heavily on her back. She lay there for a second. She didn’t understand why this man wasn’t killing her”why he wasn’t even trying.
Lottie got to her feet, more slowly this time due to the aching protests of her body. The Death Eater had almost reached the top of the stairs, but she rushed after him anyway. “You coward,” she yelled. Her voice was hoarse.
The Death Eater turned around. He was close enough now that Lottie could see the familiar gleam in his eye. It was all so familiar”his look, the way his dark eyes slanted with his melancholy smile that she couldn’t see, but knew was there. “Lottie,” he whispered. His voice was tinny behind the mask, but still recognizable. “Please.”
He spun around without another beat and ran up the rest of the stairs, leaving Lottie standing there. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. If losing Andrea was too much, this she couldn’t even fathom.
It was Colm.
It had always been Colm. Colm was the one who had given their secret; he had let all of the Death Eaters in; he had killed Maelioric; he had freed Snape. Lottie clenched her stomach. She felt like she might throw up. He had killed Andrea.
Lottie took a step down the stairs. That was why Colm hadn’t come back this month. That was why they hadn’t found the traitor when they searched all of the students; he wasn’t there. He had never been there”but he hadn’t set off any of the alarms because it was perfectly acceptable for him to be.
And the whole time, she had never suspected him. He acted like he loved her and the whole time, he was plotting to kill her. His parents had risked their lives to keep him out of the Dark Lord’s clutches, but he had fallen into them anyway.
Lottie retreated back down the steps. Now she was truly alone. She had no friends, no family, nobody to guide her. She had lost everything. She reached the dungeon corridors and picked up her wand from the cold, stone floor. She didn’t allow her gaze to wander; she focused on the ground in front of her and the wand lying there before turning around. She knew what lay just out of her sight”what aching regret”the body that lay alone and broken on the ground.
Andrea had tried to warn her. Lottie wiped her forehead with her sleeve as she began back up the stairs. Andrea had died to warn her. Andrea had been right all along. She had known”all along”what Colm was. Lottie swallowed the lump in her throat and stared around. She had reached the landing between the dungeon and the entrance hall”where the Palmyitor clock stood.
Lottie double took. The clock’s door was ajar. Voices issued from inside. Those weren’t students”no student could afford to sit comfortably in the common room with death so close by. Casting a glance over her shoulder, Lottie hunched over and went inside.
Just as she had thought, the room was not filled with students. Two Death Eaters huddled in front of the fire, one mumbling with his head in the fireplace.
The common room was a different place now. The couches and old armchairs had been upturned, uprooted; one of them had turned almost completely to ash. Lottie opened her mouth to whisper an incantation, but the Death Eater was too quick for her.
One moment, he had his back to her”the next a jet of red light flew in her direction and knocked the wand out of her hand. Lottie knew she should have run”should have fled and found another wand, but for some reason, she remained bolted to the floor.
“Look what we have here,” crooned the Death Eater who faced her. The other Death Eater pulled his face out of the fireplace. With a pang, Lottie recognized Colm’s eyes behind the mask.
“You.” Her voice was low, guttural. She rushed forward without thinking, her fists raised.
Bang! A spell knocked her off her feet. Lottie lay on her back in the middle of the common room, wheezing.
Bang! There was another thump, and Lottie saw the other Death Eater hit the ground next to her. “What are you doing, Scrivener?” he growled as he pushed himself up.
“Leave her to me.” Colm’s voice was surprisingly calm. “Go.”
The Death Eater cackled. His bared teeth were sharpened to fine points and crooked. “Oh come on, Scrivener. We came in here to get back up, and a dumb one just walks our way. Why shouldn’t we have fun?”
“Go.” Colm brandished his wand. “Go help. I’ll take care of it.”
The Death Eater grumbled something as he pushed himself up. Lottie took this moment to attack. From the ground, she sprang and hit the Death Eater directly in the middle.
Caught off balance, the Death Eater fell over. His wand clattered to the ground and Lottie snatched it before he could move. “Avada Kedavra!”
The Death Eater died, his mouth open in mild confusion.
“Expelliarmus!” The wand was knocked out of Lottie’s hand before she even had the time to stand up.
“Stop,” Colm commanded.
Lottie pushed herself up slowly. She rose from the dead wizard at her feet and turned to face Colm. He had all three wands, and she was completely defenseless. Colm reached up and took off the fastenings that held his mask on. His face was stricken, streaked with sweat.
He stood there with his wand extended, pointed towards her heart, for a long time. Lottie waited for the final blow silently, knowing it was no good to try to flee.
She looked around her. She was backed into a wall, unarmed, and far from the exit. There was no chance of her getting out without him catching her first. Finally after Colm hesitated for another moment, she spoke. “Why?” Her voice cracked. “Why”How did you do this?”
Colm lowered his hand slowly and took a step towards her. Lottie had already backed up all the way to the wall so stood her ground. “Do what?” he asked. His voice was clear, but his eyes betrayed his agony. They swam with guilt. Tears already lined his face.
Lottie took a breath and watched him for a moment. His mind was practically screaming”she couldn’t help but hear it. A spark of bloodlust hidden in the folds of his emotions made Lottie sure he would kill her, but then a moment later, his heart softened and flooded with sorrow. “You’re sorry,” she finally said.
In a thrashing gesture, Colm raised his wand once more. Lottie recoiled, but felt nothing as Colm’s hand caught in midair. He shut his eyes but didn’t lower his hand, despite its shaking.
Lottie stood uneasily. “You”you’re frightened”and you feel guilty”and”and you’re going to kill me.”
Colm opened his eyes and Lottie was hit with a wave of his raw emotion. He flicked his wand again, but it was not directed towards her. The door to the common room slammed. “I’m not going to kill you. I”” He faltered and lowered his wand. “I could never kill you. I”I””
“Then how could you do this?” Lottie rushed forward, her arms swinging wildly, but Colm caught her. His hands clamped her wrists tightly with such enormous strength that she could not move. “How could you do that?” Lottie shouted. She tried to push against him, but he held firm. “How could you do this to Andrea? And to Alsemore?”
She lifted a leg to deliver a kick to his shins, but he sidestepped it, still clamping her arms tightly. “How”how could you do this to me?”
Colm’s gaze was upon her the entire time. As she spoke, tears rolled down his cheeks and obscured his dark eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you.” His strong voice was gone. Quivers and hiccups punctuated his words.
“Hurt me?” With a great tug, Lottie pulled herself free from him and began pacing across the common room. “You”never”you”DO YOU THINK KILLING MY BEST FRIEND WOULDN’T HURT ME?”
“No”Lottie”” Colm took a step towards her, but Lottie took a step back. “I can’t explain”I””
“You”” Lottie couldn’t think of words”couldn’t think of anything adequate to say to express all of the hatred inside of her. “You are a Death Eater.”
“You don’t understand.”
“How long?” Lottie demanded. “Have you always been a liar? And I”I”” she swallowed a lump in her throat. “Were you always planning this? To kill me?”
“No.” Colm ran forward, but Lottie was faster and rushed across the room, so they stood, separated by the debris. “Not you”never”never you. You don’t understand what the Dark Lord is fighting for””
“I don’t understand?” Lottie’s voice became shrill. “They’re fighting to kill me, Colm”people like me. Is that what you want?”
“No”please”Lottie.” He rushed forward again, but once again, Lottie darted away from him.
“Your parents,” she hissed. “Your parents spent their whole lives to keep you from this.”
“They were fools.” A hardened look emerged in Colm’s expression. “They didn’t understand.”
“You don’t understand.” Lottie had a violent impulse but restrained herself. “They gave you everything”and now you’re just the brainwashed killing machine that they were afraid of. How”” Lottie took a step back, her eyes widening in the horror of realization. “And I”I told you about”about…” She clenched her fists to stop their shaking. “How many people?”
“What?”
“That’s why you”that’s why you pretended to like me, isn’t it? You know”you”always that something was weird””
“Lottie””
“I was the enemy to you the whole time. How many people have you told me I’m related to Harry Potter?”
“Nobody.”
“You just dated me to find out more.” Lottie took a step forward. “Why didn’t you kill me sooner? You had plenty of chances”oh”the Dark Lord needed you to kill Maelioric didn’t he? You had to keep a low profile and be patient for me. And”what”you wanted me to be miserable first so you killed Andrea? You”you killed Andrea! I’ll kill you.”
Lottie ran forward, her shoulder pointed directly towards Colm’s chest, ready to kill, ready to anything to put him through the most pain physically possible. Colm took the hit without even stumbling. With his unusual strength, he held onto Lottie, embraced her in an almost-hug so strong that she couldn’t escape.
“I never was going to kill you, Lottie.” He spoke slowly. His arms wrapped around her tightly. “I”I don’t know exactly what”what I’ve done. I”I had to”you don’t understand. He”he was going to kill me.”
Lottie tried to interrupt him, but muffled into his chest, all she could emit was a strangled sort of shout.
“All I know”all that I am sure of, Lottie, is that I love you.” Colm took a step back but still held down Lottie’s arms so she couldn’t struggle.
Despite her stomach full of hatred, Lottie could see in Colm’s face was that he was sincere. “I’m sorry, Lottie,” he said and as he spoke he began to cry again. “I really”I am so sorry.” He released her and rushed towards the door. “Stay here,” he said without turning to face her. “I”I’ll lock it. You’ll be safe.”
With that, he slipped out and slammed the door again, taking her wand with him. “No!” Lottie ran forward and pushed against he door. It wouldn’t budge. She pounded her fists against it into it but it was truly locked.
She wanted to throw up”to scream”to kill somebody, but she focused on her task, on unlocking the door. After several minutes of struggling, though, she stopped and took a breath. She willed all thoughts of Colm out of her mind”Colm who still loved her. She didn’t understand. Colm had locked her in to keep her safe”but he had killed Andrea. He loved her, but he was a Death Eater.
Lottie sat down on an upturned sofa and took several deep breaths. She had to clear her mind”she had to. She could sit here, safe and cry. She could probably survive here for days and just cry, but that would do nobody any good.
So she kept breathing, expelled herself of all emotions and all thought. She could do it. She could kill the Dark Lord”if she could find a wand and get out of here. Now that she had nobody and nothing to lose, the fear that had always simmered in her stomach was beginning to fade.
Slowly, she got to her feet. There was a way out of here. There must have been. Colm locked the front door but there were still windows”and the fireplace. Lottie looked to the hearth. A tiny bag of powder lay beside it.
Lottie bent down and picked it up. It was Floo Powder. She had never used Floo before, but had read about it several times.
This could take her to any fireplace in the castle”any at all. Palmyitor’s office had one, but Lottie couldn’t be sure whether that was safe. The Great Hall had one, but that was definitely not safe.
Lottie ran the fine powder through her callused fingers. Unarmed, did she really think she would do any good? Nowhere in the castle was safe”except for where she was. She could easily escape, but then what? Then she would just be killed somewhere else.
Lottie glanced at the fire, which had shrunk to just embers. She had to decide soon. Nobody was here to help her and she could do nothing if she escaped. But if she lived, would she be able to live with herself?
Lottie cleansed herself of all emotions and reassumed comforting Occlumency. She ran a palm over her face, as though wanting to realize, to have some sensation before death.
Slowly, she reached back into her bag. She threw a pinch of powder into the embers and stepped inside. Calmly, she said, “The Great Hall.”
There was a whirl of fireplaces and Lottie was spinning very quickly. Several times, her elbow made painful contact with the wall. And then it stopped. With a loud thump, Lottie landed heavily on an ashy ground.
As soon as she landed, a cloaked figure at the head of the room picked his head up. Voldemort stood before the high table, and although Lottie knelt by the door, as far away from him as she could be, she saw every feature of his face clearly.
His deep red eyes stared at her searchingly. Lottie met them with confidence. She had stood up to his scrutiny before. “Ah, look, Scrivener.” A dark figure kneeled before the Dark Lord. “We have a guest.”
The figure picked its head up slowly. Still kneeling, Colm turned to face Lottie, who pushed herself up and watched his gaze. His expression changed in an instant. His dark eyes widened with terrible, hot fear and his face contorted. He turned away to hide presumable tears. Lottie watched him impartially.
Voldemort’s gaze never flickered from hers. “Ah, but this one I recognize.” His cold, high voice was like needles in Lottie’s neck. “I thought Snape had killed you at the Hog’s Head.”
Lottie said nothing, but stood her ground. She had no wand and no hope to get one. She glanced to her right, where lay a row of bodies. With a pang, she spotted both Clynalmoy and Palmyitor. Both of their eyes were wide open. Lottie could still sense the lingering anguish on Palmyitor’s face. She swallowed hard.
Voldemort followed her gaze to the bodies and stretched his skull-white face into a smile. “Fools,” he said. “All of them. Willing to give up their lives”for what? And you, soon, will join them.”
Lottie did not say anything. She had no choice, no option. She could have fallen to the ground and cried; she could have run forward in a passion of fury. She did neither. She took solace in her Occlumency. It was all she had left. She could not control her death; she could not control Colm’s actions. But at least she could control her mind.
Calmly, she walked forward, her heart slowing with each step. Colm faced her and shook his head mutely. He had a hand on his chest, as though he was feeling his pulse for the last time, as though he was the one about to die. His eyes met her and Lottie disregarded his tears. She turned to Voldemort who still smiled.
“Would you like to do the honors, Scrivener?”
Colm did not turn to face his master. His jaw quivered and her chest clenched further. “My-my lord,” he croaked.
Lottie turned to stare at him sharply at these words. He turned his gaze to the ground instantly. The tears on his cheeks fell slowly to the floor. “I cannot.”
Lottie looked back at Voldemort. She used her Occlumency, not against him, but against herself. If she harbored her emotions, surely she would find so much fear that she would just die on the spot.
“Weakness,” Voldemort hissed. He took a step forward and drew his wand. Colm, beside him, crumpled as though he had just been hit by a spell himself. He kept his face to the ground, but Lottie could see his back shaking with sobs.
Voldemort took a step closer to Lottie, who just stood still. He stared at her carefully, surveyed her as his wand made lazy circles in the air. “What good,” he began slowly, “did it do you to come here to die?” He spoke to sting, to make a tearful heart shake.
Lottie stared up at him, into his pitiless red eyes and his merciless face. She didn’t feel the bite of his words. She ignored his wand, which was slowly rising to point directly towards her heart. She swallowed and said, “At this point, I don’t think it’s about me.”
Voldemort’s smile flickered away. His face formed a sneer and more than ever he seemed completely inhuman. Lottie heard Colm wail with sorrow. Voldemort stared into her equally empty eyes. “Fool,” he hissed. “Avada Kedavra.”
Halfway to Infinity by Eponine
Chapter Notes: Thanks, coolh5000, for beta'ing this chapter!
This one is dedicated to the FFAA in its entirety. You guys are awesome!
Also--I might slow down my updates for a little bit. I probably won't post another chapter for about a week because I'm in the middle of a tech week and don't really get time to sleep, let alone post chapters. But another chapter is coming!