It had been four weeks. Four weeks since I heard my fiancé confess the unthinkable, and four weeks since I had broken Draco’s heart because I refused to return his love. Had it really been that long?
Every day I thought of Jonathon, and despite my anger I missed him so much that I often had to force myself to get up each morning. Yet even though I resented him for putting me through so much pain, by the end of the day, I didn’t miss him any less.
I was completely blindsided; one moment, everything in my life had been falling neatly into place, but the next, Jonathon completely destroyed my foundation, and everything came tumbling down. I struggled every day to pick up the pieces of my shattered life, pushing through each passing moment with a heavy heart. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be one of those girls who shut down because the man in their life was gone, but he was almost always on my mind.
Almost always. For there was another that plagued my thoughts, though I was able to suppress most of my feelings about him “ for the time being. Little did I know, the more I pushed my true feelings about Draco to the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart, the harder they’d come back and hit me later.
When I wasn’t missing Jonathon, I was missing Draco, whose usually frequent visits to my office became a rare occasion. The few times when he actually did enter my office instead of sending someone else, he barely looked at me and never said a word unless he had to.
It frustrated and saddened me that our friendship had completely disintegrated so quickly, but who was I to complain? I was the one who came to Draco’s house that night and followed him into his bedroom, and I was the one that left him standing there all alone in that empty house. I couldn’t blame him for avoiding me after what I said to him.
Yet I still felt it was better to end it sooner than later. Just the idea of a Weasley and a Malfoy actually falling in love was laughable, and I would not let myself begin to believe in something that was nothing more than a feeble dream. It wouldn’t last anyway “ it was too soon after Jonathon. I never had any time to heal before I jumped into a mess with someone else.
So that’s what I decided. No matter what my feelings were, no matter what I was capable of, I could not fall in love with Draco Malfoy.
My strength was tested, however, when I knelt down on the bathroom floor one morning, vomiting into my bathroom toilet. As I stood up shakily and wiped my mouth, I wondered if I was sick. After all, I hadn’t been feeling myself lately and I’d thrown up the morning before, too. And that’s when it hit me: morning sickness.
I froze in shock at my realization. Just the idea of me, pregnant, was crazy. Absolutely absurd. Yet not impossible.
Once I started thinking about it, everything made sense, from my missed period to my feelings of nausea over the past few days. Yet I continued to tell myself that just because I hadn’t been feeling well didn’t mean that I was carrying a baby. I mean, really. It couldn’t be.
Nevertheless, I called in sick that day so that I could go see a professional - just in case. Though I had mostly convinced myself that I was not pregnant, and my symptoms were due to a bit more stress than usual, I thought it would be better to prove it to myself and to the little voice in my head that kept telling me it wasn’t just a coincidence.
After I had a few bites of toast, I got dressed quickly, wanting to get it over with. Before I left, I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure I could pass as a Muggle. After all, it wasn’t a Healer I was going to see “ it was a doctor.
Normally, I would have done what most witches did and visit a Healer at the small clinic in London for expectant mothers. However, when Ron and Hermione had their first child, I remembered Hermione telling me that Lavender Brown worked there as a nurse. According to Hermione, Lavender had turned out to be “quite pleasant”. But I couldn’t take any chances. Knowing Lavender’s big mouth, half the city of London would have known of my illegitimate child by the time I Apparated home. Not that I thought I had one.
So I decided to take my chances with a Muggle doctor. Despite my mother’s beliefs that they are nothing more than lunatics and quacks, I actually have a bit more respect for them. After all, it is well-known fact in the Wizarding World that Muggle doctors are much more accurate in doing pregnancy tests. And right then, I wanted the right answers.
Unfortunately, that meant that I had to travel in a completely non-magical way. There was a bus stop near my house, but by the time I walked over to it I’d practically be at the clinic. So I set off on foot, my stomach twisting uncomfortably the entire time. I kept telling myself to calm down, that I wasn’t pregnant, that I couldn’t be, but apparently my body knew otherwise. As a result, by the time I walked inside the clinic I immediately had to run to the bathroom, where I threw up. Again.
The woman at the front desk asked me if I was alright as soon as I came out.
“Yes,” I told her, “I’m fine. I mean, it’s just... nerves.”
She smiled sympathetically. “I understand. If you feel up to it, could you sign these forms for me?” she asked, handing me a clipboard and a pen.
I nodded and took a seat in the waiting room. Scanning the forms, I grabbed the pen she’d given me but found that I had no idea how to use it. My dad, of course, had told me about Muggle pens before, but this one was different. There was no cap and I didn’t see the ink at all.
“Er...” I began, standing up and walking to the secretary. “I think this pen is broken.”
“Oh, really?” she asked, taking the pen from my hand. She stared at it for a moment, then pushed a button at the end of it. With a little click, the ink popped out.
“Oh,” I said, embarrassed. Why the hell did it have to be so complicated?
The woman grinned. “That’s okay, you’re probably just not thinking straight.”
I watched as she bent down over her work and began to write. There was a little heart at the end of her pen that lit up every time it hit the paper.
Muggles think they’re so clever.
I returned to my seat, and not long after I had everything filled out. As I sat and waited, my mind was racing, and I was almost ready to make another trip to the bathroom when the secretary told me the doctor could see me.
I stood up and nodded, not trusting myself to open my mouth, and walked down the hall to the room I was told to wait in. Not long after, the door opened and a woman stepped in looking about as old as my mother. Her brown hair was streaked with gray and pulled back into a bun at the base of her neck. She wore a white coat and was already smiling when she entered the room.
“Good morning, sweetie,” she said. “How are you today?”
“I’m fine, thank you,” I lied. In reality, I had never felt worse.
“That’s good. Let’s go ahead and get started. Are you alone today?”
“Yes,” I answered. “I’m alone.”
And that’s when I realized that there was a time I’d felt worse “ it was right then.
Pregnant. Expecting. With child. Carrying a baby.
All those words were running through my head as I walked home, completely stunned. Everything felt so surreal, as if I’d never gotten up that morning and was still dreaming.
But the harsh reality was that I had woken up that morning, gotten sick, and seen a doctor, on the off-chance that I really was pregnant. There, I learned the awful truth: I was carrying Draco Malfoy’s child.
Walking home, I suddenly realized that I’d have to tell my family. I couldn’t hide the fact that Jonathon and I were broken up forever and I certainly couldn’t hide a pregnancy. I wondered how disappointed they’d be when they found out I’d lost my fiancé and gotten pregnant all in the same night.
I entered my house, feeling a lump forming in my throat. I dropped my bag and tried to avert my eyes from the cluster of frames hanging on the wall, containing pictures of Jonathon and my family.
I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me, and I was powerless to stop it. Dazed, I walked into my bedroom. The mirror on the opposite wall immediately caught me eye, so I strode over to it, staring at its reflection.
I recognized my red hair and brown eyes, but that person was a stranger to me. Who was this girl that had lost her fiancé and done nothing to stop him? Who was this girl that had avoided her family when she was most in need and instead lost her virginity to the last person she could ever be with? Who was this girl that had been so irresponsible, she wound up carrying his child?
I glanced down at my stomach, trying to imagine myself pregnant. I spread my hand across its flat surface, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before a little bulge had begun to form. A tear fell down my cheek as I realized that I couldn’t do it alone, but I had pushed everyone away.
A feeling of helplessness swept through me and I turned away from my reflection, tears sliding down my face. Then I noticed something sitting on my desk, partially concealed by pieces of parchment strewn across the top. I picked it up.
It was a glass paperweight in the shape of a rose, and the light from my window made it sparkle with iridescence. It was a gift from none other than Draco Malfoy, given to me a couple of years ago for my birthday. At the thought, I felt hurt and anger fill my body. I wasn’t the only irresponsible one - he was just as much at fault. In fact, Draco was even more wrong. My heart had just been broken, and I wasn’t thinking clearly, but he went ahead and let it happen. He let things go to far, and now look at the consequences.
That’s when I spun around and threw the rose as hard as I could at my mirror, which cracked significantly. The rose smashed, little pieces of glass scattering all over my floor.
Then I sank to the ground, crying bitterly. What had I done?
The Perfect Mistake by hearyoume
Chapter Notes: Alright everyone, the reason why it took me so long to update was because this is the last chapter and it was ard trying to tie it all up!...
Okay. JUST KIDDING. This is NOT the last chapter. Ha. So, I really don't have a good excuse for making you wait, except that I've been very busy and scatterbrained so I'd forgotten how long it'd been. Ah, well.
This chapter sort of focuses on Ginny's own emotions and struggles. Hopefully you'll be able to see how the pregnancy affects her and her point of view on the situation... Anyway. Don't want to give too much away! Thanks SO much to everyone that has reviewed, even when I've taken so long to update (I'm very sorry). Enjoy!