"Think so," said Selena, carelessly flipping through The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Four, though her eyes were actually focused elsewhere. More specifically, Curtis Blackwood, who was currently leaning against a tree, chatting with his friends. He was in Hufflepuff, one year older than her. Tall, but he didn’t tower over her; smooth, dusty blond hair; kind, soft spoken eyes that were like the color of the sea; skin that was a natural light tan color; not skinny, but somehow he appeared gangly. He was sweet, funny, cute, had a awkward air about him, and had even smiled at her – that timid, slightly reckless grin that she loved – yesterday morning at breakfast.
Melissa, after several seconds of silence, followed Selena’s gaze. A knowing, smug smirk spread across her mouth. Selena quickly became aware of this, and hastily cast her eyes back to her book, feeling a faint blush creep across her face. "A-are you?" she stuttered, trying to act like nothing had happened.
"Not as ready as you," said Melissa, scanning her copy of the book, though still smirking. "But ready enough."
"You’ll do fine," said Selena, gazing out at the lake in a rather bored fashion; determined to keep her eyes anywhere but Curtis. "Want me to quiz you?"
"Alright," said Melissa.
"Okay," Selena said, leafing through the book to a random page. "Um, what is the proper way to – "
"All right, Snivillus?" a voice interrupted loudly. Selena’s head whipped around, even though she knew what she’d see. Severus immediately pulled his wand from his robes, but he wasn’t fast enough, as James Potter’s voice rang through the air again: "Expelliarmus!" Severus’ wand shot straight into the air and fell behind him.
"Impedimenta!" Sirius barked. Severus, halfway to his wand, fell right over. A small crowd had begun to gather around them (though not Curtis, Selena noted with some pleasure).
"Those boys can be the limit," said Melissa scornfully. "You want to go?"
"No," Selena said in a much harsher voice than she’d intended.
"You want to do something, then?" Melissa asked, a almost malicious glint in her eyes. "I just learned this hex that – "
"No," Selena cut her off. "Severus deserves what he gets, I know that."
"But not always, it seems…"
"I’ve interfered many times and in the end, I only make it worse," said Selena. "I’m staying out of this."
Pink soap bubbles were now pouring from Severus’ mouth, and Selena was having a rather hard time remaining sitting by the lake, despite the words she had just spoken. He was gagging, choking, what were those boys – her hand plunged into her robes, all thoughts had left her head but then –
"Leave him ALONE!"
It was Lily Evans, of all people. Selena was rather caught off guard by her sudden appearance. A Gryffindor prefect…? Why was she trying to help Severus?
"All right, Evans?" said James, sounding much more mature.
"Leave him alone," Lily said again, looking at James with nothing but disgust. "What’s he done to you?"
"Well," said James slowly, "it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"
Selena tuned out James and Lily’s voices as they continued to argue. She instead watched Severus closely; the Impedimenta spell was wearing off. Slowly, he got up and began to crawl towards his wand, spitting out bubbles along the way. He finally managed to grab his wand. Sirius noticed a second too late, and James was hit by Severus’ spell. A gash appeared along the side of his face, spattering blood. James whirled around and a second later Severus was hanging in midair. Selena was having a silent war with herself – she didn’t really want to keep watching all this, but at the same time, she did; the way it’s often hard to look away from something even if it causes you pain.
"Let him down!" said Lily angrily.
"Certainly," said James, causing Severus to fall hard on the ground. He got up speedily, wand at the ready, but then Sirius bellowed, "Locomortor mortis!" and Severus was once more knocked off his feet.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" screamed Lily, pulling out her own wand.
"Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you," said James keenly.
"Take the curse off him, then!"
James reluctantly set Severus free. "There you go," he said, as Severus began to get up again, "you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivillus – "
"I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" said Severus furiously.
Selena’s blood turned icy. Not trusting herself to remain by the lake, she hurriedly gathered her things and went away.
"Selena, wait!" Melissa called, but Selena kept on ahead towards the castle. Melissa quickly caught up to her, but said nothing. Side by side, the two went back to their Common Room and sat in the armchairs. No one else was in there, as it was a warm day outside.
Melissa finally broke the silence. "Selena…?"
Selena couldn’t speak. What was there to say? All her fears, all her worries had just been confirmed with that one sentence. Severus had been becoming more distant from her all year, and with that one comment, she knew everything she’d suspected was true.
Melissa pressed her lips together nervously, but for once could think of absolutely nothing to say either.
A person came storming into the Common Room. Selena’s eyes dived upward towards the figure: it was Severus. Her shock was slowly being replaced by anger, and as Severus came in, she stood up.
"What was that about?" she asked him in a level voice.
Severus looked completely blank as he met her stare. "Surely you’ve noticed by now, Selena, that Potter and his arrogant friends always are bullying people."
"That’s not what I meant," said Selena evenly.
"What did you mean, then?" Severus asked calmly.
"You know bloody well what I mean!" Selena snapped.
"Language, Selena," Severus said lazily. "If you have nothing of interest to say, can I please leave? As much as I would love to linger, I have work to do."
"You called Lily Evans a Mudblood!" Selena cried.
"And…?"
"And – why?"
"She is." Severus didn’t falter in his response, but his eyes momentarily broke away from hers.
"I think the correct term is Muggle-born," said Selena angrily.
"They mean the same thing."
"But depending on which you use, it tells a lot about the person saying it!"
"Meaning…"
"Meaning that in polite conversation you hear ‘Muggle-born’, but if you’re a really foul person you’d say ‘Mudblood’."
"So I guess I’m a ‘foul person’ then?" Severus did not look abashed; on the contrary he looked amused and his lip was curling slightly.
"I had hoped you weren’t!" Selena spat. "But after recent events that’s the conclusion I’ve reached! You’re friends, that Malfoy boy and all the others? That’s the kind of language I expect them to use, not you."
"Don’t insult my friends," Severus snarled, suddenly on defense.
"Friends?" Selena repeated incredulously. "Friends? Isn’t that someone who treats you as a equal, who helps you out when you need it? They never seemed like good friends at all. They’re typical Slytherins – and they’re turning you into one!"
"Typical Slytherins don’t exist, Selena!" said Severus, raising his voice for the first time. "Whatever I told you before you came to Hogwarts about that, none of it’s true! I was eleven when I said all that, you shouldn’t have believed it!"
"It seems to be true – " Melissa started, trying (and failing) to be helpful.
"You stay out of this!" Selena and Severus yelled together. Melissa looked rather surprised and hurt that Selena was roaring at her, but Selena couldn’t sympathize. Her anger was rising every second, she couldn’t feel any empathy for Melissa at that moment.
"Is that what you want?" Selena shouted. "To turn into a typical Slytherin? To become like all those half-witted fools?"
"Yes, I would like to become like ‘all those half-witted fools’," Severus spat angrily. "If you knew anything about them, maybe you would too."
"Of course I wouldn’t! Severus, I’d bet you anything those boys are all supporting You-Know-Who!"
Severus didn’t respond; his face was still unreadable but his eyes were glittering strangely. Selena was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, staring at her brother.
"Is that all you had to say?" said Severus, in a tone that if an outsider had heard it, they would have guessed the pair had just had a perfectly civilized conversation.
Selena gaped at him wordlessly, still breathing hard. Severus left towards the boy’s dormitories without another word, leaving Selena to stare after him soundlessly. Even after her brother had shut the door, Selena remained rooted to the spot. How long she stood there, she didn’t know, but after quite a while she sat back in down in an armchair, and put her hands over her face despairingly.
***
Selena was not quite as surprised by the arrival of Severus’ next letter. She silently took it from Apollo’s beak and unrolled the scroll.
Exactly. ‘As near as I can tell, I am on the mark perfectly.’ What if, perhaps, you cannot tell what the whole situation is? Because, as usual, you only see what you want to see, never bothering to dig deeper than you find necessary. I cannot be the one to break the story to you through this form of communication however, but you would not believe a syllable of the truth anyway.
She only saw what she wanted to see? Do you think for a minute, a moment, a second that I like seeing you as a murderer, Severus?
And this whole thing was getting ridiculous. Severus did have a point – he couldn’t tell her anything in a letter, and she wouldn’t believe anything he said; because he had done terrible things, and there was no way he was getting around it this time. She had fallen for everything he said last time, she wasn’t doing that again. No way was she doing that again.
But then what was the point of writing? She should stop, she knew that. But at the same time, she knew that she couldn’t. She was hooked into his little scheme, whatever it was…and there was no way out now.
Selena glanced over at Apollo, who was perched on the kitchen counter devouring some sort of small animal. He was probably the only living thing who was not a Death Eater to actually be seeing Severus. It was really a shame he couldn’t talk to her.
With a sigh, Selena wandered into her sitting room and fell into one of her armchairs. Apollo flew in after her. Selena watched him fly around in a weary way, as he swooped happily from one area of the room to the next. But as he soared over the fireplace, Selena’s eyes dropped down from him to her mantle piece above the fireplace.
Selena inwardly cringed. Glancing where her owl had been flying, she could see that he had been passing by a picture of Selena and Severus when they were little kids. Their dad clearly hadn’t been around at that moment, as both of them appeared to be laughing. Severus looked to be around seven; she looked about six. Severus had Selena’s arm twisted behind her back, and Selena was attempting to smack him on the head. There were thousands of moving photos up there, many which held Severus, but as Selena did not come into her sitting room very often, she had not remembered to put them away.
In a reckless spurt of anger, she stood from her chair and smacked all the photos containing her brother’s face down. She heard some of the glass crack, but she couldn’t have cared less. Shaking with fury, she Apparated to work.