"Blimey, I don't think I've ever eaten that much food," Sirius Black said with a contented sigh.
"You're telling me, mate. I don't think I'll ever be properly hungry again!" James Potter said, throwing himself on the nearest bed. "I am positively in love with this bed right now."
"Oh, well, in that case let me give you two a minute alone together," Sirius said waggling his eyebrows at James. James looked at his friend and couldn't help but laugh. James had always loved Sirius' sense of humour. Sirius was the only one who could get James out of his bad moods, and all it would take was a quirk of the eyebrow. Sometimes James wondered how Sirius had managed to stay sane while living with a family like the Blacks. James counted himself lucky that he had found such a great friend.
Of course, he wouldn't let Sirius know that was how he felt, so instead he responded, "Sod off, Black. How is it that you always twist things that people say?"
"It's a skill," Sirius said nonchalantly.
"Excuse me," they heard someone say from the other side of the room. The boys looked over and saw Peter Pettigrew looking at them from the doorway.
"What is it, Pettigrew?" Sirius asked the boy.
"Well, I was just wondering if you guys have claimed your beds yet. I wasn't sure which one was mine."
"Well, Peter, seeing as how James here is already camped out on this one and all my crap is piled on that one. I'd give it a guess that yes, we have claimed our beds." Peter didn't seem to mind Sirius' attitude, either he got the sarcasm or he was just used to it. He walked over to one of the two remaining empty beds and was surprised to see that his trunk was situated at the foot of the bed already.
"Hey, my stuff is already here!" Peter exclaimed, going through his things to find his pyjamas.
"Aren't you the observant one?" Sirius teased. "We'll have to watch out for this one, James. He doesn't miss a thing."
"Funny, Black. It seems you've misplaced your hairbrush. Don't worry, you can borrow mine," Peter said with a smirk, tossing Sirius his brush.
"Oh, I don't touch the things, but thanks anyway." Sirius sent one of his trademark winks at Peter as he threw his brush back. "I find that the ladies like the disheveled look. All it takes is a run through with my fingers every once in a while."
"You boys should start up a beauty salon while you're at it," James joked.
"And give away all my secrets?" Sirius asked, clearly mortified at the thought. "Never!"
"Hey, who's got this last bed, anyway?" Peter asked.
"Well, you could just check the trunk, you know," James told him. "But I'm pretty sure it's that Lupin kid. You know, the one that was with Evans on the train."
"Yep," Peter confirmed, checking the trunk. "Remus J. Lupin."
"In the flesh," said Remus, walking into the room. "But only to my mother, and the J. is only taken out for very special occasions. You boys can call me 'Oh Holy One.' Unless of course you have a problem with that, in which case, I don't care."
"I like you," Sirius said bluntly. "Why don't you come work for me? You know, write down witty comments that I can then pass off as my own."
"Tempting, very. Unfortunately, I'm already on contract with someone else." James watched as Sirius and Remus bantered. He smiled. Maybe this Remus Lupin character was an okay guy; he certainly could hold his own in a battle of the wits.
"Who, in the name of Merlin, got to you first?" Sirius asked, acting appalled at the idea.
"A lovely girl by the name of Lily Evans. I think you've met. She's spoken so highly of you all. Especially you, Mr. Potter. I think she's taken a particular liking to you."
"Has she really?" James asked.
"No," Remus said bluntly.
"Not even a little bit?" James asked.
"No."
"I'll just have to turn on the Potter charm then; it never fails."
"I have a sneaking suspicion that that just would not work in this case. Lily seems to have formed a dislike towards anything Potter related."
"Well, I will be the first to tell you: James Potter never backs down from a challenge!"
"Be my guest, but I assure you, Lily Evans will never like you." At this point Sirius decided that the attention had been off of him for entirely too long.
"I don't know about you shady ladies, but I am spent. I'm going to sleep," Sirius said with a dramatic yawn.
"Me too," Peter said.
"Sweet dreams ladies," Sirius said.
"Yeah, well, don't let the bedbugs bite, Black," James said sending sparks at Sirius' bed with his wand.
"Ouch! Quit showing off, Potter, you're head is big enough as it is already. Soon it'll be needing its own mailing address."
"Yeah, yeah. You and me both. Good night." James lay down on his bed but couldn't sleep. He had been looking forward to this day for as long as he could remember, but for some reason he was left with a bad taste in his mouth. He had a feeling that it had to do with a certain redhead. James couldn't believe how badly things had gone with her. He honestly didn't mean to offend her, but it seems that that was exactly what he had done. James didn't know how to act around her, which was a problem that he had never had before. He had always prided himself in his ability to charm everyone he met. Anyone. But Lily Evans was something entirely new and he found himself wondering what to do with her.
He looked around the circular dorm room. So this is who I will be spending the next seven years with? He thought. James decided that they were a pretty good group. He and Sirius were practically brothers already, so that wouldn't take any getting used to. Peter was a little strange, but since when has strange been bad? It seemed like he would fit in just fine. And that brought James to Remus. He hadn't told him so, but James knew had heard of Remus Lupin before they had met on the train. James looked over to Remus' bed and noticed that the boy was tossing and turning much too much to be asleep.
"Psst, Lupin," James whispered. There were a few seconds of silence before James heard any reply.
"What do you want, Potter?"
"I need to talk to about something," James told him.
"I am not discussing Lily Evans with you any more."
"No, it's not that. It's just that my mum has talked about you..."
"Outside. Now, Potter," Remus said in a deadly serious tone. The two boys climbed out of bed and pulled on their robes. They walked out of the dorm and down the staircase in silence. Remus led James to the fireplace where there were only a few dying embers left on the hearth.
"What do you mean, 'your mum has talked about me?'"
"Well, not directly. And never intentionally, she would never do that," James said in a slightly defensive tone. He knew that what he was getting into was a very serious topic, especially for Remus, but he felt that coming clean was the only option in this situation.
"I wouldn't think that she would do something like that. But there is the fact that you have heard of me..."
"She never said your name. That's my fault. I was in her office and there was a file on her desk..."
"You've seen my file?" Remus asked. Even in the dim light James could see Remus' face quickly turn ghostly white.
"No! I would never betray my mother like that. I know how important her work is to her. But I did see your name on it. And I couldn't help but notice all the books on her desk; they were all about lycanthropy..."
"So you know?" Remus asked nervously.
"I do," James said in a serious tone. He knew that Remus would not appreciate sarcasm at a time like this. It wasn't a laughing matter.
"Well, I might as well tell you the rest of the story," Remus began.
"You don't have to do that. I just wanted to tell you that I knew, that's all. I didn't mean to pry," James told the other boy.
"No, it's alright. Your mother actually recommended that I talk to someone my age about it. Someone that I trusted. I'm not sure that this is quite what she had in mind, you being her son and all. But if I had to trust anyone, it would be the son of Sylvia Potter."
James was shocked. He didn't know what to say. James had just met Remus and yet the boy was going to divulge to James his deepest secret, one that, if James wasn't trustworthy, could ruin his life. James was also deeply moved that Remus held his mother in such high regard. He had always heard from house guests that his mother was a great woman, but hearing it from a boy his age made that fact hit home. Sylvia Potter always went to great lengths to help her patients. Her devotion was what got her so far in her career. James couldn't count the nights that he would walk by her office late at night and the light was still on. She would be pouring over books devoted to numerous magical illnesses, looking for anything that would help save one of her patients. There was one specific case that affected Sylvia Potter more than all the rest.
James had first noticed a change in his mother when he was eight years old. Nothing substantial, but a change none the less. It was in her eyes. James couldn't see the sparkle in them anymore; it was almost as if part of her life had been extinguished. She was still the same person in the essentials; she was still happy and lively and one of the kindest people that James had ever known. Every once in a while, though, when she wasn't working and thought that nobody was watching she would simply sit and stare off into nowhere. It was in these times that she looked like she held the world on her shoulders. He didn't understand why his mother looked so sad in those times, he was only eight. He now understood. Over the years he pieced together why his mother seemed so disillusioned with the world.
By now James knew that it was the boy standing in front of him that stole the light from his mother's eyes. Not the boy himself, really, but his story. James still hadn't pieced everything together, but he knew the general gist of if. One night, not long after James noticed a change, James couldn't sleep. He was about to knock on his parents' door when he heard their voices from inside the room.
"Harold, this is awful. He's James' age, Harold. Eight years old."
"I know, Sylvia, but there's nothing you can do."
"I can't believe that. I won't. What if it was us, Harold? What if it was James? Would you want me just to give up?" a pause, then, “well, I can't do that Harold!"
"Sylvie, there isn't anything you can do," Harold Potter said calmly. "Wizards have devoted their lives to this. There isn't a cure, and certainly not one that you are going to find."
"He's only eight years old."
"I know, I know," James’ father said, his sorrow evident in his voice.
After that James began to notice off-handed comments that his mother made referring to a patient that she had. Whenever she mentioned him, even if it was just to say that he would have liked a joke that James made, she would always look a little sad. Even though she never mentioned a name or any specifics James knew that this patient was very special to her. This particular patient had reached Sylvia Potter on a personal level that no other had.
What James hadn't told Remus about knowing his secret was how deeply his case had affected his mother. The truth was that the majority of those nights she stayed up late he had been reading about lycanthropy. James had never seen a person more driven, or one so broken. She didn't know that James had seen, but one night it seemed like Sylvia Potter had wanted to give up. James had never seen his mother cry, not once. She didn't cry when their family pet died. She didn't cry at her mother's funeral or her father's the following year. She didn't even shed a tear when she miscarried her second child. Sylvia Potter could always pull herself up from the wreckage, no matter what it was, and end up coming out even stronger. Except once. In the privacy of her home, when no one was looking Sylvia Potter broke. James watched through the crack in the door as she violently slammed a book shut. She forcefully swept everything from her desk. She sat at her desk, her head propped in her hands, looking utterly hopeless. James had never seen his mother do anything like that; Sylvia Potter was the perfect example of calm and composed. He thought it was over, but then he heard a noise. It was a quiet sob. He took another peek through the door and saw that his mother's shoulders were shaking. Her dark auburn hair was covering her face, but James knew that she was crying. He had never seen her cry; he didn't think anyone had. All he wanted to do was to go give her a hug and make everything go away, but he knew better. Sylvia Potter didn't want people, let along her ten-year-old son, seeing her weak. She didn't want people seeing her broken over a little boy.
James looked at the boy who had shattered his mother’s view of the world. He should hate Remus for doing what he did to his mother, and in the past he would have, but he didn’t. He looked at Remus and finally understood what his mother went through, and why. In front of him was a regular boy, not an extraordinary one. He had sandy brown hair and brown eyes; he wasn’t anything special. The heartbreaking part was that his life had been taken away from him at the age of eight. A werewolf bit him when he was only eight years old, and yet here he was. James finally understood what it was about Remus Lupin that had made the strongest person he knew break. It was the simple fact that Remus wasn’t broken. Remus knew what he would have to face for the rest of his life and he still had the strength to get out of bed every day. A boy shouldn’t have to face that, and that was what Sylvia Potter refused to accept. James looked at Remus again and made a decision. He was going to help this boy in whatever way he could. Right now, that was to listen to Remus’ story.
“If you want to tell me, I’ll listen,” James said sincerely.
“It’s funny, really,” Remus said, though James could tell he didn’t think that it was. “My mother always told me never to play in the woods…”
“Mum, why can’t I?” an eight-year-old Remus Lupin whined.
“Because, dear, there are scary monsters in the woods,” his mother replied.
“I’m not scared of anything!” Remus asserted, crossing his arms over his chest. His mother could tell that he wasn’t taking her seriously.
“Remus, I want you to look at me,” Mrs. Lupin said, waiting for him to face her before she continued. “There are creatures in the forest that are very, very dangerous. They could hurt you very badly. Do you understand?” He nodded. “I want you to promise me, Remus, that you will never go into the woods.” He nodded again. “You promise that you won’t go into the woods for anything, Remus? No matter what?”
“Yes, mum,” Remus mumbled.
“Now, give me a hug and go play!” Remus smiled at his mother, glad to see that she wasn’t mad and gave her a hug before running outside.
Remus looked around his backyard in search for something to do. He saw the bright red quaffle that his mother bought him last spring. Remus never really liked Quidditch, it was more his mother’s thing. Because he couldn’t find anything better to do, Remus began tossing the ball to himself. It wasn’t that he was bad at sports, Remus actually had some pretty good ball handling skills, he just preferred other things.
Remus had been playing and running around when something in the woods caught his eye. It was nearing dusk, so it was getting a little dark out. What caught his attention was a dim light coming from inside the forest that was alongside his yard. The light seemed pretty far off and was very alluring. Remus was thinking about what his mother had made him promise earlier. What could it hurt? He wouldn’t be going that far anyway. Remus walked to the edge of his yard and was about to take a step into the unkempt brush when he heard his mother calling.
“Remus? Time to come in,” she called. He quickly turned and ran to his back door. When he got there he couldn’t resist turning his head towards the woods. The light was still there, distant and dim.
“Is dad home from work yet?” Remus asked his mother, deciding that telling her about the light would not be the smartest idea.
“No, but he will be shortly. Go wash up,” she said, ruffling his hair.
“Mum!” Remus cried out, trying to flatten his sandy locks.
“Your father says he has a surprise for you, Remus. But you aren’t going to get if you keep giving me such a hassle,” Mrs. Lupin said, smiling. Both she and Remus knew that he was far from a hassle. Remus’ mother couldn’t count the number of times she had been complimented on what a nice boy Remus was. “Anyway, scoot.” Remus turned and ran up the stairs.
“If you hurry down,” she called up the stairs, “you’ll get to help me set the table.” She heard a soft laugh coming from the bathroom stairs. Remus always liked the way his mother tried to make everything sound like a treat, even setting the table.
Remus heard the distinct ‘pop’ of his father Apparating downstairs just as he finished washing his hands. He dried them off as quickly as possible and ran down to meet him.
“Hiya, dad!” Remus said as he flung himself at his father.
“Hey, kiddo. How was your day?” Mr. Lupin asked his son.
“Mum said you had something for me,” Remus said, ignoring his father’s question.
“Like father like son, huh? I always went for the good stuff first, too,” Mr. Lupin said with a smirk towards his wife who swatted him with a towel. “Well, son, I brought you a present, if you must know.”
“Really? What’d you get me?” Remus asked eagerly.
“I’ll tell you, and even let you see it, on one condition.”
“Okay, I promise.”
“You don’t even know what it is yet, Remus,” his father told him.
“I don’t care, I want to see it!”
Mr. Lupin shook his head at his son’s antics and began to search through his case. Although he saw the gift immediately, he pretended to search for a while longer. “Hmmm, I don’t know where it could have gotten to. I could have sworn I put it right on top. I must have left it on my desk. Sorry, son. I guess you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.” Mr. Lupin could barely suppress his smile when his son heard his news.
“Are you sure, dad?” Remus asked with a pout. “Let me look,” he said, pulling his dad’s brief case to the floor. He opened it and squealed with joy. “What is it dad?” Remus asked with barely concealed joy.
The object that Mr. Lupin had brought home looked roughly like a pair of binoculars. It had several dials on it and was decorated with stars and comets. Remus picked it up and looked through the eyepiece. As he played around with his new toy Mrs. Lupin gave her husband a quizzical look.
“Romulus, you didn’t,” she said.
“And what if I did, Aurelia?” he asked with a grin.
“That boy is going to be just like you some day if you keep buying him gifts like this.”
“And what, exactly, is wrong with that. Obviously you saw something you liked. If I do recall, I believe that you fell in love with me,” Mr. Lupin said to his wife, pretending to be wounded.
“Yes, well, everybody has problems. My point, darling,” she said, matter-of-factly, “is that if you keep buying him things like this he will spend more time with his nose in a book than anything else. The boy needs stimulation.”
“What better stimulation is there than stimulation of the mind, my dear?” Mr. Lupin replied light heartedly.
“Quidditch, Rom!” Mr. Lupin just laughed at his wife. Ever since the day Remus was born the two of them had been competing for influence over the child. Romulus wanted him to be a scholar and Aurelia wanted her boy to be a star Quidditch player, just like his mum. The couple was bantering good-heartedly and failed to notice that their son had stopped playing with his toy and was now tugging at his father’s pant leg.
“Dad! What’s it do?” Remus asked his father.
“They’re called Astronoculars. When you point them at the stars at night it shows you all the constellations and their names.”
“Really? Cool!” Romulus smiled at his son while his wife rolled her eyes. It looked like she was losing the battle. Remus tried to turn and go outside to try out his new toy, but his father caught him by the collar.
“You forgot the condition, son. No playing until after dinner.” Remus grumbled. “I for one am starved, and can’t wait to see what my divine wife has made for dinner,” Mr. Lupin said, grinning when he got the desired affect of making his wife blush.
“Well, if you are so determined to make this little boy an exact replica of yourself, I’ll just have to settle for the next one,” she said with a sneaky grin. Mr. Lupin blushed, He knew that his wife wasn’t pregnant, but just the thought made him go red at the ears.
“Touché,” he muttered.
“Welcome home, dear,” Aurelia said to her husband as she kissed him.
The family ate dinner in companionable chatter, none of them knowing what the night would bring. When they were all finally done with their meals Remus begged to go try out his new toy.
“You can try, son, but I don’t know if you’ll be able to see the stars out tonight. It looks like a full moon.”
“Thanks, dad!” Remus said running to put his sneakers on.
“Put on a sweater, dear,” his mother said. “It’s getting cold. And you only get a half hour.”
“Yes, mum.” Remus said. He picked up is Astronoculars and headed out the door.
The air was chilly, betraying the fact that fall was coming. He looked up at the sky, noticing that his father might be right. With the light of the moon it was very hard to see the stars. He tried out his toy and was delighted to see that they worked. He saw Taurus and Andromeda. He scanned to the left and read through his Astronoculars a name that he thought was very absurd.
“Cas… Cassiop… Cassiopeia. What kind of name is that?” he asked himself. He lowered his line of vision and noticed the light that he had seen before. It was just as bright and even more entreating in the dark. Remus’ father was one who was afraid of everything, he would never have even thought about finding out what the light was. But Remus hadn’t inherited that particular trait from his father; instead, he had been given his mother’s more daring disposition.
Remus momentarily forgot the promise that he had made to his mother. He was only eight years old, who could blame him for wanting to find out where the light was coming from? He glanced back at his house before taking a step into the woods. Remus slowly walked about ten paces before looking back again. His parents hadn’t noticed that he left the yard so he decided to continue on. Remus turned back to the light and was terrified at what he saw.
A giant creature was barrelling towards him through the woods. Remus, for some reason, took note of the way the moonlight glinted off the creatures fangs. He screamed as the creature leapt at him. All of a sudden he felt a terrible tearing in his shoulder. He heard his screen door slam open and the creature ran off into the woods.
“Remus!” his mother screamed. The little boy blacked out just as his mother scooped him up into her arms.
“The next thing I remember,” said an eleven-year-old Remus Lupin, “was your mother’s hazel eyes looking down on me. I was in a hospital bed at St. Mungo’s. My body hurt everywhere. I panicked. I had no idea where I was, or why I was there, or where my parents were. Your mother calmed me down though. She told me everything was going to be okay.
“She went to get my mother and father. I don’t know when I have ever seen mum look as scared as she did at that moment. Tears were running down her face. She kissed me on the forehead and said that she and dad needed to go talk to the healer.
“I only heard fragments of that conversation. My mother asked if something was true. Your mum said something about werewolves. The next thing I heard was sobbing, both my mother’s and father’s. Then your mum came back in the room. There were tears on her cheeks too. She told me to drink something to take the pain away. I did and quickly fell asleep.
“My parents were never the same after that. Especially mum. She smiled a lot less. They never did have that second baby.”
James didn’t know what to say. He had listened to Remus’ entire story without interrupting and was left speechless.
“I figured that’s what you would think,” Remus said to James who he thought was horrified at his story.
“No, I don’t”“ James began, but was interrupted by Remus.
“You don’t have to pretend to like me, James. You don’t have to be nice to me.”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” James said. “I knew it from the first time I heard your name, and you didn’t see me running in the other direction did you?”
“You don’t mind?” Remus asked quietly. “You’d still be nice to me?”
“That’s what friends are for, Remus,” James told him with a smile.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. Who knew that senior year would be so hectic? Anyway, that’s chapter six. I hope you liked it, let me know what you think :)
As to the bonus in the last chapter…. I really didn’t think that anyone would get it anyway, but it was Kay’s name. Kay for Kay Scarpetta, the heroine in Patricia Cornwell’s novels and Amelia for Amelia Sachs in Jeffery Deaver’s Lincoln Rhyme Novels….. I’m pretty much a geek, you’ll just have to bear with me.
Thanks to my beta joeandnath for doing an awesome job on this and being so patient with me.