At 10:50 a.m. students began filtering down into the Entrance Hall to catch a carriage to Hogsmeade Station. By the time Harry, Ron, and Hermione arrived, Professor McGonagall was standing by the massive oak front doors about to speak.
“I know that the last few days have been very trying for us all. The loss of Headmaster Dumbledore was heartless, cruel, and unexpected,” she began.
“However, I do not know if Hogwarts will reopen next year or not. That is for the Board of Governors to decide. Without Dumbledore, Hogwarts will feel less like home, but I know that he would have wanted this school to continue to educate young witches and wizards. Nevertheless, I see no young witches or wizards before me anymore. I see brave and strong individuals who have witnessed far too much for their years. This war will be rough and brutal, but we must win it in the end in order to justify the deaths of such innocent people.” Here she paused and dabbed at her eyes with a lace hanky.
Harry glanced over at Hermione, who was leaning on Ron, his arm around her shoulders. Sighing heavily, he tried to focus on the rest of Professor McGonagall’s speech, but his rapt attention was threatened by the presence of Ginny, whom he could see if he positioned himself perfectly between a thickset Slytherin and a young girl with a ridiculously large hat upon her head.
From the looks of it, Luna was whispering something in Ginny’s ear, and she was shaking her red head fervently. Luna seemed to motion in his general direction, but Ginny continued to stare at Professor McGonagall and no one else, which caused Luna to place a hand on her hip in frustration. As Professor McGonagall’s weary voice battled on through her closing address, Harry thought once that he caught Ginny searching through the crowds discreetly, but a second later, he was sure he had imagined it.
“We shall overcome the terror that looms out in the darkness eventually, and I beg each of you to be alert and courageous until then. You will need to use your shrewdness, bravery, intelligence, and loyalty in this war. For you see, the truth of the matter is, that a bit of Slytherin, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff resides in us all. Now perhaps we shall see each other in September, but if not, hold on to your memories of this place and each other. I hope for the very best for each of you and your loved ones in these troubled times. It has been my great pleasure, as well as Dumbledore’s, to get to know and hopefully impart some knowledge into everyone here. Goodbye for now, and please no pushing to the carriages!”
McGonagall ended her heartfelt words with a small smile and a touch of her usual briskness as the crowd broke out into fresh clapping and crying alike.
Harry had barely paid any attention to the closing address and was still in a daze over Ginny when he heard Ron say, “Let’s get a carriage, then, shall we?” Hermione was looking at him strangely as they began shuffling to the front of the crowd, trying to avoid the blatant stares that by now, the trio was accustomed to receiving.
Just as Harry gained the threshold of the entrance steps, McGonagall spotted him. He did not feel like being further interrogated about his plans or dwelling on the depressing, but he had always respected this aging woman who stood before him, so he allowed her to pull him aside under a torch light.
“Harry, please be careful out there. I know you do not wish to come back even if we do reopen, but that is no reason to be reckless. Dumbledore has entrusted you with some special task, and I respect your privacy in that matter, but for the next ten minutes I am still your teacher, and I order you to stay safe. Nobody wants to see you injured. You’ve dealt with far more than any soul who has walked through these doors, and I just don‘t want you to leave here thinking that every outside threat is one you have to personally defeat. That’s utterly unreasonable. So do be careful, and be good. All right?”
Harry looked determinedly at the floor but nodded just the same. McGonagall drew him into a brief hug and then, seeming to realize where they were, exclaimed, “Well I’m blabbering on, and you’ll miss your carriage. Goodbye, I’ll probably see you with the Order soon.”
Harry looked up into the face of the woman whom he had thought so strict when he was merely eleven, and he saw the warmth behind her eyes with stunning clarity.
“Goodbye Professor, I’ll see you this summer then.” He managed a smile for her and was gone.
Everyone stared out the windows on the way to the station, as though not truly believing that this was the end of their time at Hogwarts. Yet, the thestrals dutifully pulled along the carriages through the misty morning without any hesitation. Ron and Hermione boarded the train in a bit of a rush, and as Harry moved to follow suit, he heard someone stumble and drop something behind him. He turned around to find Ginny on her knees stuffing a few dark robes back into her trunk and snapping it shut. Bending down on instinct to help her haul it onto the train, his hand brushed up against hers, and she leapt back as if shocked. She quickly hoisted up her trunk, gave him a distraught glance, and with a flash of scarlet hair she had disappeared before he had even thought of something to say.
And so, like a dumbstruck fool, he just stood there on the platform, silently cursing himself. “Great Potter, she doesn’t even want to get near you with a ten-foot pole, let alone get back together with you. How could you let this happen?” At that point, what was left of his pride kicked in, and he began to think along a different, more stubborn, vein. “Well…fine…if that’s what she wants, she’ll have it. I’ll leave her alone.”
Putting on a resolute face, Harry helped Ron move the luggage down the aisle and search for an empty compartment. His promise to leave Ginny alone was tested entirely too soon. The only empty seats to be found resided at the back where Ginny had already settled herself with Luna, who still looked uncharacteristically crabby. Harry shook his head, indicating that he’d rather ride on the roof than in there, but Neville had already pushed inside and said hello. His agitation building, Harry followed Ron and Hermione inside, wondering how he could spend the whole afternoon in the company of his ex-girlfriend and live to tell the tale.
After unloading the luggage, Ron and Hermione claimed they had to patrol the corridors for their prefect duty, although nobody seemed to be up to much mischief anymore. They had been overly intrigued by each other lately, more so than they were that night after the Quidditch game, but lost in his own torment, Harry had let it slide. He was simply too tired and uneasy about the upcoming summer to pay the two much mind. If only they had all been more honest about their feelings sooner, before it was too late. “No, don’t think like that. They’ll have a future,” he chastised himself. Stepping into the corridor, one hand pressed against the glass sliding door as the train ricocheted about, Hermione shot Harry a look that clearly said, “Just talk to her.”
With the duo gone, Luna promptly hid herself behind the latest issue of The Quibbler which featured Scrimgeour on the front growling up from headline, “Minister of Magic Fails to Prevent Attack on Hogwarts,” while Neville engaged Ginny in a conversation about the war while trying to hold a squirming Trevor in his fist at the same time. Harry leaned against the cool window in an attempt to relax, but just ended up running his hands through his unruly black hair in frustration. His eyes kept wandering over to Ginny, who was determinedly avoiding him, giving her full and undivided attention to Neville. If this was the right decision, why did it feel so bloody horrible?
-I’m protecting her. It’d be dangerous for her to be with me.
But she already told you she doesn’t care about that.
-Well, she doesn’t fully understand the risks involved.
What about that little Chamber of Secrets escapade? Not to mention fighting the Death Eaters!
-Which is exactly why this can’t continue.
So why don’t you stop watching her?
-Because she’s so beautiful. It must be that hair of hers.
With that hair comes an entire angry family of redheads, remember them?
-I know, and I don’t want to hurt them. The Weasleys are like my family too.
They won’t be like your family when they're arguing over who gets to take the first go at you.
-That’s why I stopped this. I couldn’t put their only daughter in danger.
But she can handle it, her family is in the Order…
On and on the battle raged in Harry’s mind until he thought he might go mad. He was assuming too much, trying to create a relationship in his head when the girl it concerned wouldn’t even glance his way. This was becoming torture.
Suddenly, his thoughts were broken by the cry of “TREVOR!” Neville’s adventurous toad had gotten away from him as usual. The gangling teen jumped to his feet and dashed out of the compartment, following the toad’s croaks down the corridor. A few moments later, Luna gracefully flowed across the aisle to follow him out the door. Apparently, her magazine wasn’t as interesting as usual. This left Harry and Ginny alone in the compartment. Exactly what Harry had been trying desperately to avoid.
He looked at her as the sun glistened on her red locks bringing out the golden strands in them. She was leaning back into her seat staring purposefully at the forgotten magazine next to her knee as the wild scenery flashed by beyond her. Harry got up and moved into the seat across from her, hoping that if he was in direct sight, she wouldn’t be able to ignore him. He was partially right, she threw him a few looks, but they were much more along the lines of contempt than anything else.
“Ginny, I really need to explain-” he began, but she immediately silenced him with one look. Her bright brown eyes were flashing with an anger and hurt that were so intense they seemed to glow. The utter scorn he saw in those eyes almost made him give up.
“No Harry, I need to explain something to you. I didn’t want to upset you yesterday, so I let you break up with me. But I’m a person with feelings too, and I didn’t wait five years for you only to have my heart trampled on. I thought that you understood that I would stand and fight next to you no matter what happened. I thought that you trusted me and cared about me-”
“Ginny I do care-” he tried to plead, but she cut him off.
“I’m not finished yet! I was ready to do anything for you, but I can’t be with somebody who won’t be honest with me. I just can’t stand you trying to protect me anymore. I’m not a child, and I refuse to be treated like one, especially by you. You go on and on about the danger of dating you, but open your eyes! My family is in mortal peril every day with or without you. So don’t flatter yourself by thinking you’re doing the noble thing here. I’ll save you the trouble of saying whatever it was you intended to say. I want you and your arrogant pride out of my life, Harry James Potter!”
With that icy remark she got up and tried to make her way to the door, but Harry was already on his feet. He blocked her pathway, and as the train gave a sudden lurch, she lost her balance and fell back into her seat. Now she was trapped, with him leaning against her only exit. She felt like the little girl in first year again: that helpless, pathetic thing she’d tried so hard to evolve beyond.
If Harry even noticed her frustration, he ignored it and plowed on saying, “Ginny, please listen to me, please. I’m going to explain everything to you, and then if you want you can walk out that door and never look back. But at least let me speak. I think you owe me that much.”
He instantly knew it was the wrong thing to say, for never had Ginny Weasley fixed him with such a glare as she did now. The anger seemed to be radiating hotly from her as she shot to her feet. It was true that he was now much taller than her, but she had a power that made him cower not unlike Mrs. Weasley.
“I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING YOU FILTHY, SECRETIVE, EGOCENTRIC IDIOT!” she shrieked.
Then she did something that shocked them both. She drew back her hand and slapped him with full force across his face. He recoiled, stumbling back into his chair. She stood transfixed at her abrupt action. Slowly, he brought his right hand up to his face while her eyes bulged.
“Oh Harry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean too!” she exclaimed, trying to pull away the hand that was protecting his injured cheek, for the other was gripping his neck where a vein was twitching feverishly. He didn’t comply with her efforts to soothe him; he was actually trying to avoid her gaze. He looked like a broken child, and when she got a clear view of his brilliant green eyes glistening slightly, she saw just how deep of a mess she had gotten herself into.
But this was ridiculous. Never again would she fall into the trap set by Harry Potter, even if he screamed for her to give him another chance. He was dangerous, not by choice, but by fate. He would always want to protect her, and thus, leave her in the dark. He would break her heart repeatedly if she let him. She didn’t think she could live like that, no matter what she felt for him. They were hurting each other even now, and she had to put an end to it. She knew that the smart choice was to walk out the door and leave him alone. She could make a clean break of this and forget the boy in front of her ever existed. Well, maybe that was too extreme. She could not forget that he was real, but perhaps, with time, she could forget her own feelings of fragile love. This resolve did not last long as she stared at him. She couldn’t take even one baby step towards her escape. Her gaze was drawn magnetically back to him. It had always been that way, and she simply couldn’t control it.
As if he felt her eyes on him, he looked up at her again, and nodded as if accepting her choice. The full force of his defeat hit her finally. This was unprecedented: Harry Potter never went down without a fight. Yet, here he was, just throwing everything away. Well, the least she could do was hear him out, then leave. Yes. Definitely. Listen, comfort him a little, and then tiptoe out politely.
“Ginny, it’s all right you can leave,” he tried again, and this time she walked over to where he sat and crouched down in front of him.
“No Harry, I think not. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” After her attempt to reassure him, she smiled very softly, and he returned the gesture briefly. Carefully, she removed his hand from his face. A red handprint had quickly sprouted up over his cheek. She took a blue handkerchief from her robe pocket, muttered Aquamenti, and gently pressed the damp handkerchief to his bruise.
“Thanks,” he whispered. Ginny nodded, and when the swelling had begun to go down, she finally looked up into his eyes. In those eyes Ginny saw fear, and maybe she was only imagining it, but also the glimmerings of something more. Did he truly care about her? Why did it matter so much? She sighed again, all the feelings she’d cried out with Hermione on her four-poster the night before came flooding back. Why did they have to go through this? Why was life so difficult? What had she done that had provoked his fiercely independent streak? For that matter, why was he always a target? Couldn’t he be left alone even for one year? She knew her thoughts were selfish and unrealistic, but they were the only truth she had right now. So she made her decision, knowing she could not go back again.
“I’ll listen to whatever you have to tell me Harry,” she said softly.
Where Dwell the Brave at Heart by FelicisQuill
Chapter Notes: Harry finds a seat on the Hogwarts Express, but he doesn't realize that he'll have to listen to bouts of angry ranting there...