“God, Lily. I can’t believe you’re getting married!” Kellen Morgan exclaimed at her best friend, Lily Evans. They sat in their small house’s living room, talking and reminiscing.
“I know!” Lily squealed. She was twenty years old and at the point every girl waited for. It was Friday, and on Sunday she would be married. “I can’t believe it’s happening. I mean marriage, my wedding. I’m just in awe.” Lily looked down at the diamond on her finger in admiration. “I’ve been dreaming about this since I was a little girl, and in two days, I’ll be Mrs. Aaron Davies.”
“And I’ll be the only unwed female in the Order, well, young one that is,” Kellen commented with a frown, brushing a piece of her long blonde hair out of her face. It seemed everyone was getting married lately, in fear of running out of time, being killed by Voldemort.
“Maybe Sirius will pop the question,” Lily suggested, but Kellen simply threw her head back and laughed; her long blonde hair was tossed through the air.
“That’ll be the day we find out Dumbledore is Voldemort’s father, Voldemort joins the good side and they run off to buy a house in France for some father son bonding,” Kellen said with a smile. Lily chuckled. “No Marauder will ever get married, that’s why I was so surprised about James. Actually,” Kellen considered, “I can see James marrying, but never Sirius. He’s much too free for the binds of marriage.”
“I don’t know…wait, what about James?” Lily asked, suddenly curious.
“You really don’t pay attention do you?” Lily just gazed at her friend, what was she talking about? Kellen rolled her eyes. “It’s not officially announced yet, but he mentioned it at the Order meeting.” Lily was really oblivious, thought Tracey, as she continued staring at her. “James asked Mirabelle Sage to marry him.” Lily dropped her drink, stunned. It had been the feeling of knowing the glass was slipping from your grasp, yet you did nothing to prevent it. Kellen waved her wand and the spilled liquid vanished.
“James? James Potter?” Lily asked in disbelief. Kellen nodded. “Are you sure? I mean James Potter?” she emphasized.
“Yes. James Potter, the James Potter, tall, messy black hair, Head Boy, Quidditch obsessed, your ex-boyfriend….” Lily nodded. Of course. James Potter.
“But Mirabelle Sage?” Lily asked doubtfully. Kellen tilted her head inquisitively.
“Why not?” Kellen asked curiously. Kellen liked Mirabelle; she thought that she and James were good together. “She’s pretty, really smart, funny, nice, laid back. I mean, she’s a Healer. She took care of my dad when he was sick. She saves lives.”
“I know. She is Aaron’s cousin. She’s in the wedding. She’s just not James’ type, that’s all,” Lily said, getting annoyed, but shrugging.
“What do you mean? You don’t think someone like her is James’ type? She’s great. They’re perfect together.” Kellen knew Lily. Lily had always been so happy with Aaron, so radiant. She had been proposed to several times, but Aaron’s is the only one she accepted. They were perfect together, why did she care about Mirabelle all of a sudden?
“I don’t know, never mind. She’s just so…,” Lily gaped, what was Mirabelle? Why wasn’t she right for James? “Calm,” Lily answered stupidly, a little anger in her voice.
Mirabelle Sage had brown hair, which had a red tint, making it a chestnut color and brown eyes with flecks of gold and green. She was poised and beautiful; she was everything anyone could ever want. Mirabelle was gentle, smart, caring, a Healer. She was calm…rational…she never overreacted, or looked anything less than perfect. Perfect. She was the kind of girl you could take camping or to a ball and she would fit in and everyone would love her. She got along with everybody, she was impossible not to like. She always looked presentable, always classy, always impeccably dressed. Mirabelle Sage could have seven children, a job, a husband, a second job; have to clean a house, and pick up her children and still manage to get dinner on the table, not faltering for an instant.
Kellen raised an eyebrow at Lily, and tilted her head. You’ve had too much sun, her face clearly stated. “Come on, you need to get ready for the rehearsal, and then dinner. Less than two hours,” she glanced at her watch. “I need to get ready and remind Sirius to get ready. Take a shower, Lily, you’ll feel better.” Kellen gave her a small smile, as if determining if Lily could be left alone. She did, because a few moments later, she was off. Eventually Lily wandered into the shower. Why did she care if James Potter married? She, herself, was getting married.
Brushing her red hair, she sighed. She wasn’t nearly as beautiful as Mirabelle. Even her name screamed sophistication, perfection. Lily didn’t know what she thought, she was distraught. She couldn’t still love James Potter. Could she?
“I’m starving,” Lily said to her fiancé, Aaron, as they entered the room. Everyone was already around a large table, waiting to eat. It only consisted of the people in the wedding, a few of them with dates or spouses. Lily’s parents and Aaron’s parents chatted easily with one another. Kellen, who was Lily’s Maid of Honor, was sitting next to her boyfriend, Sirius Black. Mirabelle was a bridesmaid, on Aaron’s request. They were close. She had brought James along, and he sat between Mirabelle and Sirius. Aaron’s friends and Lily’s other friends sat among each other, talking merrily. Lily’s sister, Petunia, refused to have anything to do with the wedding, let alone be in it.
By some strange twist of fate, Lily and Aaron ended up sitting directly across from James and Mirabelle, which made Lily shift uncomfortably in her seat. “You look stunning,” Aaron whispered into her ear, his warm breath tickling her neck, causing Lily to smile broadly. She was wearing a white halter summery dress. The white against her browned skin, freckled more so from the sun, and her copper hair, made her look incredible. Aaron was so handsome, so sweet and caring, so mature-- so perfect.
After the food was distributed and everyone had what they pleased, the conversation began. James and Sirius began telling Mirabelle about a prank they played on the whole Slytherin house in fifth year. They made it so every single Slytherin hung on the ceiling of the Trophy Room, their heads dangling down. Their shoes seemed to be glued to the ceiling and etched in their shirts was a gold plaque, each reading a different accomplishment. Lily remembered Severus Snape’s reading “First Place in Hogwart’s Greasiest Hair Contest, Five Years Running.” Then the Marauders made an announcement telling everyone to report to the Trophy Room, so they could show off their work to the whole school. It was quite funny, thinking about it. Mirabelle was laughing hard, her fingers intertwined with James’.
Lily remembered that prank diligently. She was a Prefect, and turned the Marauders in, scoring them detention. The whole house hated her, Sirius and James got detention on the day of the big Quidditch game, against Slytherin. Without their best players, they lost. Mirabelle laughs at it, I was a stiff, thought Lily.
“And dear, prefect Lily caught us. ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOUR NERVE. YOU FOUR ARE DISGUSTING. ESPECIALLY YOU REMUS!’” Sirius said, imitating Lily’s reaction to the prank, causing the whole table to erupt in laughter, except Lily. “Then she took Remus aside and gave him a good talking to, never seen him look so scared, almost told McGonagall to revoke his badge. Anyway, we all got detention, causing us to lose the Quidditch Cup. And if we didn’t win it six other times, I would still be angry,” Sirius concluded. Kellen remembered the whole incident vividly, as did Aaron, but Mirabelle had only gone to Hogwarts until her fourth year. She then decided to study abroad at a school in Canada.
Lily looked at Sirius, trying to smile. Had she really been that bad? She couldn’t even appreciate a good joke on the Slytherins? Her eyes strayed to Potter. She hadn’t looked at him in months, years maybe, not directly anyway. He was smiling, laughing, glancing at Mirabelle lovingly. At first it had been painful, seeing the hazel eyes and messy black hair framing his face. Then it became awkward. Now, there was just no reason to look at him. Looking at him, for the first time in what seemed like forever, was a new sensation. It was joy. Happiness filled Lily, as she looked at him. She missed him, his hazel eyes, his stupid black hair, his lopsided grin, even the remarks he used to make to impress her. Tons of memories clouded her eyes. Then her gaze widened. It was not just James she was looking at. Mirabelle was in the picture. The joy she felt became bittersweet.
James quickly looked at her, feeling her gaze. His eyes were apologetic for a second, before breaking the lock. He whispered something in Mirabelle’s ear. Sweet nothings, as Lily called them. Mirabelle laughed. She had a lovely laugh that rang through the room like church bells. It was slightly contagious. This laughter angered Lily to an extent she had never known. In the back of her mind, she wondered if anyone thought these things of her. That maybe someone out there thought the things that Lily thought of Mirabelle. Because Lily couldn’t deny that Mirabelle was faultless, Mirabelle was the type of person Lily wanted to be. She had James. Lily glanced at Aaron, his face full of pure elation. To Aaron, she was better than Mirabelle.
Throughout the rest of dinner, Lily said nothing. She sat there, angry, lost in thought, as James and Sirius told more stories which had the whole table roaring in laughter. Most of them made Lily look like the bad guy, until seventh year, where she was minimally involved. Before she knew it, dessert was being passed around, thick chocolate mousse cake. Aaron smiled at her, wrapping his arm around her. “Are you okay?” He asked gently. She smiled at him; they were so good together. He always knew what she was feeling, and he was so comforting. Aaron knew when to pull her close, and when to give her space.
“I’m fine,” she said weakly. “Just anxious to be Mrs. Lily Davies.” Aaron gave her a heartfelt smile, which ceased Lily to feel worse.
“Well,” Sirius said, tapping a fork against his wine cup. “I have a bit of an announcement.” Every person at the table turned to look at Sirius. “James didn’t want to announce this yet, because he didn’t want to take the spotlight from Lily and Aaron. But I don’t think this will, I don’t think anything could. Not from Lily. And with all these people, may as well announce it when people are listening. My best friend in the world is going to marry this girl, Mirabelle Sage. And I must say, I love them both.” Sirius concluded happily, as the whole room clapped and congratulated them. James face was a little red, but he grinned wildly, as did Mirabelle. Lily was not clapping or smiling. She did not send warm congratulations their way, she said nothing. Lily felt like she had been punched in the face.
Aaron reached across the table and shook hands with James. Mirabelle smiled at the guests shyly, which made Lily angrier. Lily was not shy; she was outspoken and often blunt. This was not their place to announce their engagement. This was her night, her day, her weekend. James looked at Lily for a moment, with no idea why she looked that way.
“Lily, can I have a word?” James said, before he could stop himself. Stupid, he thought, mentally slapping his forehead. Bewildered, Lily rose and followed James. Sirius and Kellen shot nervous glances at one another; they were two of the few who knew what really happened between Lily and James. Aaron and Mirabelle gave suspicious looks at Lily and James’ exit.
“Lily,” James started. The summer air was soft, caressing their skin. The only light was the full moon, peaking up between the trees, and the twinkle of the stars above them. Lily sat down on a bench swing in the yard. Through her sandals she could feel the moist green grass on her toes. She looked up at the moon and sighed. The blasted moon, Remus wasn’t there because of it. She desperately wanted him there, not just because he was one of her best friends and in the wedding, because he was one of the only people who knew her side of the story.
James looked at Lily; her green eyes were peering up into the navy sky. He was at loss for words, what did he want to say to her? “I-I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you. Aaron is a good guy and you deserve the best. I hope there are no hard feelings about anything that happened in the past. You’re marrying Aaron and I Mirabelle. So I hope we can be friends,” James finished rather lamely. Lily wasn’t listening though. She was looking at the stars smeared across the sky like a canvas, breathing in the honey air.
Not sure what to do, with a brief nod, he turned and began to walk towards the house. “She saves lives,” Lily said softly, to herself, repeating Kellen’s words. “And you protect lives, no wonder you love her. She’s perfect.” James stopped and turned around. She was still looking at the sky. “I’m just a hotheaded Mudblood, who sits behind a desk.” Lily added glumly.
“Don’t you every say that!” James reprimanded sharply. “Don’t think of yourself like that. You’re looking at being the next Minister of Magic. And that’s not nothing,” he added softly. Was Lily jealous of Mirabelle? Because the Lily Evans he knew would never say that about herself. “And no one’s perfect.” He chuckled to himself, recalling the seven years he thought Lily was the height of perfection, even when she cursed and hexed him. And part of him, still thought she was. Lily was not looking at the sky in amazement anymore, but rather at him.
“James,” she croaked, missing that name on her tongue. “Why did you do it? You knew me, you knew I would have said no, yet you asked. We were too young! You ruined it all.” It had been on her mind for far too long, the words shifting in her mouth and her head for three years. James ran a hand through his unkempt hair. He was speechless; what was he supposed to say to that? What’s done was done.
“I’m sorry,” he began quietly. “I thought you loved me, and maybe that would be enough for us.” Right after graduating Hogwarts, James had pulled together his courage, and asked Lily to marry him, but she didn’t accept. She didn’t want to get married; she was too young to start a family. So she turned him down, and once again, left James heartbroken and empty. Then Mirabelle came along. They were older. She was sweet, compassionate and understanding. She was bright, like the sun, and he wanted to marry her. He was ready to marry her.
“You should have known! You’ve always understood me,” her eyes shone bright, swimming with tears. Lily wanted to scream at him. He ruined their chances, by that stupid question. She hadn’t been ready to let go, to give up, to call it quits just like that. James sighed.
“Lily, come on. We can’t change the past, what’s happened has happened; we just have to move on,” James said painfully. It was the truth, he just hated hurting her. “I’m sorry, Lily,” he said, looking her in the eyes. “But we’ve made promises to other people. I love someone else and you’re getting married Sunday. That’s the fact of the matter.” Lily couldn’t think straight, she had no chance with him.
“Just listen,” Lily said quickly. “Please,” she begged. James nodded. “I thought I was happy. Aaron is great, but thinking about you and her, I’m not. I can’t live with it. I mean, I’ve just figured this out. What am I supposed to do?” She looked at him; he looked no different than before. Yet he was, he wasn’t in love with Lily anymore, he was going to marry Mirabelle. Lily needed to say something, quickly. “James, I love you,” Lily said tenderly. She closed her eyes, hoping that the words would be enough.
“Lily,” it took every ounce of strength he had to say this. “I’m marrying Mirabelle. It’s too late.” In all nine years of knowing her, he had never seen Lily Evans so desperate, so helpless, so broken. She just nodded and wiped her eyes.
If nothing else, Lily would be strong. She would not beg for someone to love her. For the first time in her life, Lily said exactly what she felt, she put everything out there, her heart on the line, and she was rejected. Lily would not let this tear her up, she would walk down the aisle on Sunday, chin up. And with that, Lily stood and walked towards the house, not looking back. James just stood there, somewhat numb, watching her figure walk away in the darkness. It always seemed that he was the weak one, the one who always got hurt. There was no doubt in James’ mind that she was hurt, but she was the one who walked back into the house, the one to move on. She was the one who always held the cards. He just stood outside, wishing it was all different.