Accusations and Proposals
- "I will not lose the only family I have left!" -
Lily began to feel the aftereffects two days after the Quidditch practise. She had woken up on Wednesday morning feeling as though she was running a fever. When Hermione asked Lily if she felt alright, she merely nodded and went to the bathroom. When she came out, fully clothed and slightly nauseous, she joined Hermione and they made their way to the common room to meet Harry and Ron and went down to breakfast. All through breakfast, her head pounded. Just looking at the food made her feel sick. It was only during Potions class, first period, where things went wrong.
They were busy learning how to concoct a Hair Growth potion that took an immense amount of concentration, and Professor Snape made sure they knew that. They had been working for a half an hour, mixing the ingredients and chopping daisy roots, when Lily’s vision suddenly became blurry. Stopping her work for a second, she blinked furiously and she could see normally again. She went on working as though nothing had happened. Then her hand started twitching, and she couldn’t stop it. She dropped the knife she was holding and it fell to the floor with a loud clatter, causing Snape to shout at her to pick it up. She went to bend over, but froze.
Harry, who was working next to her, looked at her oddly. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.
She didn’t answer him; her whole body was tensed up so she couldn’t move. Then she started shaking, her knees locked, and she dropped to the floor, barely missing the knife she was supposed to be picking up. Hermione and Ron stopped what they were doing and knelt down beside her. Lily’s eyes were squeezed shut, her arms crossed over her stomach and her back arched. Nearly the entire class had halted their work and was coming over, either to see if they could help or to gawk.
Professor Snape got up from his desk and was edging over to see what was happening. No one could help but notice he didn’t look the least bit worried. “Tonight’s not a full moon, is it?” he asked Hermione.
Hermione shook her head and turned to Lily, who was trembling madly. “What’s happening?” she asked apprehensively.
Lily shook her head slowly.
“I don’t know,” she said, her voice strained. Groaning in pain she whispered, “I want my mum.” Hermione bit her bottom lip; she would try to send an owl when they figured out what was wrong. Then, even louder, Lily said, “I want my mum!”
Malfoy sniggered in the background, thinking what she said was hilarious.
“Shove off, Malfoy,” Harry snarled, earning himself five deducted points for Gryffindor. Harry opened his mouth to retort, but one look from Hermione made him think different. Professor Snape told Malfoy to go and retrieve Madam Pomfrey, while he tried to figure out what was happening.
“Black,” he said loudly. “What is happening to you?”
“I don’t know,” Lily answered her voice full of pain.
Snape shook his head and waited for Madam Pomfrey to come so he could resume his lesson. It was only seven minutes before the dungeon doors burst open and Madam Pomfrey ran in. By the time she got to the room, Lily had stopped shaking and was passed out on the floor. Shaking her head, she waved her wand and Lily was soon being levitated up to the Hospital Wing. Harry, Ron and Hermione wanted to go with her, but they knew they couldn’t miss History of Magic, though they strongly doubted that Professor Binns would notice their absence. So they resorted to watching miserably as their friend was taken out of the room, the Slytherins sniggering rudely.
Lily woke up an hour later, startled to find herself in the Hospital Wing. Sitting up, she winced in pain as she discovered she had a splitting headache. She couldn’t remember what happened after Snape had told her to pick up the knife she dropped. All she knew was that her hand had twitched violently and she felt sick. Had she passed out? Looking around the room, she saw that, judging by the position of the sun, it was still morning; she couldn’t have been out for that long then. If she had passed out… oh the Slytherins would never let her forget it. They would think it had something to do with her werewolf side. That’s it, she thought. It had to be. This had to have stemmed from what happened earlier that month. Unconsciously she looked at her hands and saw that the bandages had been changed. She now knew how she ended up in the Hospital Wing at least. Madam Pomfrey must have ran fast when she found out something was wrong.
The door to the Hospital Wing opened and Rachael dashed inside, a look of concern gleaming in her eyes.
Lily, taken completely by surprise, didn’t know what to say except, “When did you get here?”
“Only a few minutes ago, the owl Professor Dumbledore sent took a while to get to me.”
Lily was confused. What had happened to her that made the Headmaster owl her mother? Rachael, sensing her daughter’s confusion, explained what had happened. Apparently, she had had some sort of seizure in Potions class. It was strange though, because she had been fully aware of her surroundings. She was able to answer questions when someone asked her. According to Hermione, Lily had distinctly said that she wanted her mother.
“Oh,” said Lily slowly, rubbing her temples. “I don’t remember anything that happened. I just remember my hand twitching.”
“Madam Pomfrey wants to keep you here for further observations,” Rachael said. “Meanwhile, Professor Dumbledore will be trying to figure out the cause for all of this.”
“It’s from what happened during the full moon, isn’t it?” Lily piped up.
“We think it’s from that; it’s certainly not from your normal state of health. We contacted Mrs. Jameson and she says it’s never happened before.”
Lily shook her head.
“No,” she said firmly. “I’ve never had a seizure in my life.”
“I figured you hadn’t,” Rachael agreed. “Mrs. Jameson says she hopes you feel better.”
“If you hear from her, tell her I said thanks. How is she, anyway?”
“She’s fine,” Rachael said simply. “She said she misses you.”
“Oh… okay.” Lily yawned widely and rolled over on her bed. “How long are they keeping me here?”
“Two days, that’s it. Dumbledore doesn’t want you to miss anymore classes.”
“Okay… Listen, I’m tired, I’m gonna sleep.”
Before Rachael could even reply, Lily was fast asleep. Rachael stood up and left the room, seized by a sudden suspicion. She was thinking about how everyone had asked her if Lily was under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion. She was. Lily had made Snape angry that day; she knew Snape was low enough to tamper with the potion. She knew he didn’t care if he was under Dumbledore’s watch, he would do anything to cause children pain. That was the kind of person he was. He was foul and evil and that was all there was to it. She didn’t know if Snape had a class at this time, but she marched down to the dungeons anyway.
Coming to a halt outside of the Potions classroom, she peered inside and saw the room completely empty. Seizing this opportunity, she let herself in and banged on the office door.
Snape opened the door, and she was glad to see he looked frightened at her sudden appearance. “Lupin,” he said grimly. “Long time, no see. How are things?”
“Cut the small talk, Snape, what did you do?”
Snape raised his eyebrows, acting as though he hadn’t had a clue as to what she was talking about. “Come again, Lupin?”
“You know darn well what I’m talking about. What did you do to my daughter’s Wolfsbane Potion?” Snape laughed bitterly and stepped back, thinking that Rachael might be infuriated enough to do something drastic.
Rachael took a step forward and grasped the front of Snape’s robes.
“Don’t act like you don’t know!” she yelled. “This has never happened to her before! You’ve been making her potion, what did you do to it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said mildly. “Are you implying that I may have somehow tampered with it?”
“Yes, that is exactly what I’m implying,” Rachael snarled. “Now tell me what you did to it so I can help my daughter!”
“I really have no idea what’s going on.”
“Snape, stop acting stupid! My daughter can die from this! Dumbledore’s already told me that, and if she does than you’re going to be the one who pays! I will not lose the only family I have left!”
With that, she stomped out of the office and slammed the door shut in the Potion Master’s face. She didn’t want to believe Dumbledore when he told her that Lily’s condition would only get worse if they didn’t find the cause of it. There were three options for her sickness “ it could be cured, go into remission, or she would die. Rachael sincerely hoped that the third wouldn’t happen. She couldn’t bear it if she lost her daughter. She had already lost James, Lily, Sirius and Remus; she couldn’t lose her daughter too. She walked up to the Hospital Wing, hoping for Lily to be awake. When she looked in she saw that she was indeed awake.
Lily’s eyes were glazed over as she stared at the ceiling, her eyes unfocused. She looked like she might nod off again, so Rachael didn’t bother to go in.
When she turned to leave, Lily’s voice stopped her.
“Mum,” she said. “Professor Dumbledore was just in here.”
Rachael nodded and took a seat on the bed next to her daughter’s.
“Was he?” she said.
“Yes… and he said he had to be honest with me. He said my sickness can either be cured; go into remission, or I can die.” Rachael’s stomach knotted unpleasantly. Looking into her daughter’s eyes, she saw fear in them, plain and utter fear. “Mum,” she said, her voice shaking and her eyes shining. “I don’t want to die.”
Lily was let out of the Hospital Wing, much to Madam Pomfrey’s protests, two days later. She returned to her classes, though under the watchful eyes of all of her professors, or most of them at least. Snape had not even mentioned her episode in his class the other day. He acted as though it was an intentional disruption; she was serving detention for it, in fact. Snape had her scrubbing the dungeons floors with nothing but a toothbrush, a new low, even for Snape. By the time she was done her knees ached terribly and her pants were soaked.
The morning after her detention she was sitting in the Great Hall, working on a last bit of Charms homework. Harry, Ron and Hermione had yet to come down to breakfast, so she left ahead of them. Taking a bite of her toast, she scribbled down the answer for question six and placed her quill down. Taking a swig of her pumpkin juice, she unconsciously looked up at the staff table and saw Professor Dumbledore chatting with Professor McGonagall (who had made a full recovery in only a few days). Seeing that he was being watched, Dumbledore looked over at her and smiled warmly. Lily smiled back, but quickly looked away. She couldn’t bear to look at Dumbledore for long after he had told her she could die if she wasn’t cured.
The thought of dying chilled her to the bone, she didn’t want to die. What would happen to her mother if she did? How would it affect her friends? There were so many questions whizzing through her head as she thought about death. She had even envisioned her own funeral the night before as she dreamt. She woke up, sweating bullets, as she shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the visions she had seen. Everyone was standing around; throwing flowers onto her casket; it scared her. She didn’t want to die; she was only eighteen! She had hardly lived. There were so many things she hadn’t done. She had never had a boyfriend before; she wanted to get married and raise a family of her own. She wanted to be a professor at Hogwarts. She wanted to live to see the end of the war that had been looming around them for three years. There were so many things she needed to see, she couldn’t die yet.
“Hullo,” said a hesitant voice behind her.
She turned to see a tall boy with black hair and hazel eyes standing behind her. She knew him only by name and house; he was seventh year Jacob Lawrence from Ravenclaw. She had never spoken to him before, though she did remember him picking up her books when she dropped them one day in the hallway. She also worked with him once in Transfiguration a while ago. That was about as much contact as they had. She wondered what he was doing here.
“Err… hi,” she said awkwardly. “Jacob, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” he responded quickly.
Lily waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. “Can I help you with something…?”
“Oh, yes,” he said, looking quite embarrassed. “I just wanted to know if you heard about the next Hogsmeade trip.”
Lily thought for a moment, she had remembered seeing it posted on the notice board in the common room. She vaguely remembered that it was one day during the first week of February.
“It’s during the first week of February, isn’t it?” she asked, contemplating the many reasons this boy could be asking her this.
“Yeah, on the third and I was wondering… if it isn’t too awkward or anything… you wanted to go with me.”
Lily’s eyes widened at the question. She hardly knew the kid and here he was asking her to go to Hogsmeade with him. She remembered that that was what Sirius did when he wanted her mother to know he liked her. Then there was the fact that it was the day after the full moon. She didn’t know what would happen between the time the moon rose and when she would wake up or, more correctly, if she woke up. She didn’t like to think that way, but she couldn’t help it.
“Well, I dunno,” she answered truthfully. “The night before the trip won’t be a good night, if you get my meaning.”
“Oh, I understand completely,” he said hastily. “After what happened to you last month and all, I can’t blame you. I understand… well, see you in class.” He turned around, red in the face, and made to run back to the Ravenclaw table, but Lily felt bad.
“Hold on,” she said, before he had a chance to run. “If everything goes alright and I’m feeling okay, I’ll meet you at the Three Broomsticks around noon?”
Jacob turned around and tried to contain his smile, though failing dismally.
“That’d be great,” he said happily. “So, I’ll see you in Transfiguration later then?”
“Yeah… see you there.”
Lily watched as Jacob went back to his table and joined Terry Boot and Anthony Goldstein as they packed up their books and went to their first period class. Lily checked her watch and discovered class started in three minutes; she had to be down on the grounds. Packing up her books, she left the hall, stopping shortly to say hi to her friends as she passed them. Harry, Ron and Hermione had dropped Care of Magical Creatures once they were in their sixth year, but Lily liked it, so she kept it.
Walking down the grassy slope towards Hagrid’s hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, Lily found herself smiling widely. She didn’t know why though. She hardly knew this Jacob and yet she felt somewhat pleased that she might be spending time in Hogsmeade with him. He did seem nice, and he didn’t seem the least bit perturbed that she was a werewolf. He seemed okay with it actually; he even said it was alright if she didn’t want to go with him because she was feeling ill. She now found herself hoping nothing went wrong so she could go into the village.
She came upon Hagrid’s hut and found the usual group of three students surrounding a crate. She joined her friend Neville Longbottom and asked him what everyone was looking at.
“Baby wolves,” Neville answered, gesturing down to four grey wolves walking around the crate. Lily raised an eyebrow, wolves weren’t magical creatures.
“Righ’ now,” Hagrid said, coming out of his hut. “Looks like we’re all here.” He looked over the four heads, as if he was making sure there wasn’t a student missing. “Anyway, we’re studying the difference between wolves and werewolves.” Instinctively, three heads turned to Lily, who suddenly found the ground highly fascinating. “Now don’ look at her,” Hagrid scolded. “We’ll be studying’ from pictures, not people.”
Lily smiled gratefully at Hagrid. He knew very well what it felt like to be a half breed and knew that she didn’t want people to use her as a case study for the lesson.
“Now then,” said Hagrid, pulling out a folder. “Here are pictures of werewolves.”
He pulled out four pictures of a werewolf and handed them to each student. Lily didn’t even look at hers; she knew all too well what werewolves looked like. Hagrid spent the entire class having the students observe their pictures and then observe the wolves. He would come to each of them in turn and ask them what the differences were. Of course, Lily got them all right and spent the remainder of the period playing with her wolf, as it had taken quite a liking to her. Sitting on the floor with the wolf resting in her lap, she stroked him behind the ear and watched as the rest of the class took their turns in identifying the differences.
Susan Bones was second to finish and joined Lily on the ground and listened as Hagrid quizzed Neville and Dean Thomas. “The wolves are cute, aren’t they?” Susan said, admiring the wolf in Lily’s lap, who looked as though he was about to fall asleep.
“Yeah, they are,” she agreed, rubbing the wolf’s belly.
“You’re good with them.”
“Yeah, well… it’s kind of a requirement when you’re a werewolf. Get along with the regular ones.”
Susan laughed shortly and looked at her wolf that was running in circles in the box. She went to try and pet her, but Lily quickly snatched her wrist away.
“Don’t do that,” she warned. “She doesn’t look very happy.” Lily jerked her head towards a different wolf in the crate, glaring at Susan’s hand. “I don’t reckon you want a wolf bite.”
Susan eyed the wolf warily and slowly shook her head. She quickly got up and went over to join Dean, who was just finishing up his questions with Hagrid. Lily slumped forward and hugged the wolf tighter to herself. What just happened? She wondered as she stroked the wolf’s head and listened to its soft growls. All she had done was to try and warn Susan not to pet the wolf because it would bite her. Did that somehow scare her? She didn’t mean to, she just wanted to help. But no, helping scared her away.
“What’s up?” Hagrid said, coming over and taking a seat beside her. He wrote down the class’s grades as he waited for Lily to answer.
“I think I just freaked Susan out,” Lily answered miserably, the good mood she had been in diminishing greatly.
“Oh… I saw,” he said. “You tried ter stop her from I’ bitten. ‘Snot yer fault, yeh were jus’ tryin’ ter help.”
“I know but… I just feel stupid sometimes, like what would happen if I had told her that and I wasn’t a werewolf?”
Hagrid shook his shaggy head, though they both knew the answer to that question. Susan would not have gotten scared and run off; she would have thanked Lily for her help. For the rest of the class, Lily chose not to look at the Hufflepuff; she thought at least they would understand.
“Get in the shed, Lily,” said a particularly worried Rachael to her daughter, who looked just as nervous as she was.
Lily grudgingly went inside and waited patiently as her mother chained her to the wall and locked her inside. Rachael had resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn’t be getting much sleep that night and had made herself a comfortable bed on the porch. Earlier that day, she had asked if Lily had taken the Wolfsbane Potion and she said yes. Rachael didn’t say anything at first, but she suddenly felt uncomfortable. What if her theory was right and Snape had tampered with it? This full moon could be a repeat of last month, at an even worse scale. She had thought Lily, of all people, would have been wary about taking the potion after what happened. Maybe she was afraid that if she didn’t take it she could be harmed on a greater scale. It was fear that had made her take the potion.
She gazed up at the darkening sky, holding her breath for the moment when the moon would be out and her daughter would be undergoing her transformation. Finally, she saw the silver orb rise from behind the trees and she heard a low gurgle of pain come from inside the shed. Rachael’s breath caught in her throat and, coughing very loudly, she stood up and edged over towards the shed. She unwillingly peered through the window and saw Lily curled up in the fetal position, whimpering in pain. Rachael turned away from the window, unable to see her daughter in so much pain. Even if she couldn’t see what was happening, she could still hear the loud cry of pain emitting from her daughter.
After that one loud cry of pain, it was silent. The silence was eerie to Rachael, she couldn’t hear any growling. Why wasn’t there any growling? Her daughter was a werewolf, it was instinct for her to growl after her transformation. Suddenly a nervous wreck, Rachael willed herself to look through the window and, with a sigh of relief, saw that Lily was walking around in a circle. The growling soon came and Rachael knew that everything had gone as it was supposed to.
Maybe Snape hadn’t done anything after all… With that thought in mind, Rachael retreated to the bed she had set up on the porch. She could rest easy for the first time all month.