Chapter 6: Nightfall
After a short but heated argument about where he would sleep that night, Harry padded into the bathroom to change into a pair of James’s pajamas and get the spare bedding. Before he entered he glanced back over his shoulder and saw Ginny scowling at the back of his head, and the corners of his mouth twitched involuntarily. She never gave up, did she?
“I’m kind of regretting giving them my wand about now. At least then I could cast some kind of heating spell or light some of that bluebell fire Hermione likes so much, since my parents apparently don’t have heat,” he said ruefully as he stood in the doorway.
She gave a short laugh and shook out the gown Lily had lent her for the night. It was made of a creamy flannel, except for a bit of lace around the neckline, and would hit her at the knee. Harry’s mouth went dry and he stared at her, temporarily unable to move as he imagined how she would look in it. It wasn’t that it was a particularly provocative garment either, it was just that it was…a nightgown. She glanced coyly at him and raised her brows.
“Well? Close the door so I can change!”
He nodded dumbly and obeyed. As soon as the door was shut he leaned both hands on the sink and took several deep breaths in an attempt to get a grip on himself.
I have to stop thinking of her like that! I’ve got to convince myself to think of her as just a friend, and nothing more. He shook his head and tugged James’s pajamas over his legs before digging through the cupboard for bedding.
“I still don’t see why you’re insisting on this,” Ginny grumbled, her voice carrying through the closed bathroom door as Harry pulled spare blankets and quilts from the cupboard. He sighed and paused to rub his temples. His head was still raging from when Dumbledore performed Legilimency on them, and his disagreement with Ginny wasn’t helping any.
“I told you, I don’t want to make this any harder than it already is!” he said irritably.
“So you’re going to spend the night on a hard floor under thin blankets and freeze to death because you just can’t bear to lie next to me. That will help the situation immensely,” she replied.
He snorted and stumped out of the bathroom, his arms full of blankets and a couple of thin pillows. He supposed the Potters weren’t used to having company. Not company that slept in more than one bed, anyway.
He walked stiffly around the bed and started laying the blankets on the floor at its foot. They made a sad little pile. The two pillows barely augmented it. He sighed again. This was going to be a long night.
“I have an idea,” Ginny said brightly. He looked at her suspiciously as she continued. “Why don’t you take the bed, and I’ll sleep on the floor?” He raised an eyebrow and gave her a look that clearly said that wasn’t going to happen.
“Well, it was worth a try, anyway,” she said, shrugging.
He finished laying the blankets out and stretched out on top of one, then drew the other up over himself. The floor under him was hard and cold, and he shivered. It was almost as if the blanket wasn’t there.
“G’night, Ginny,” he called from the floor.
“Good night, Harry,” she replied, though her tone said that she clearly hoped it wouldn’t be.
He smiled wryly as she blew out the lamp and burrowed beneath her sheets. He’d have liked to do the same, but didn’t have enough covers to do so. After five minutes of shifting around, he realized that there was no way he was ever going to be comfortable, and resigned himself to an uncomfortable night on the hard floor. He’d done it before, after all, on his eleventh birthday. Granted, that had been in the middle of summer, and not the end of December, but still, he’d managed it. He shivered again, and heard Ginny sigh.
“Harry, I appreciate that you’re trying to be gentlemanly, but you won’t get any sleep and you just might get frostbite. Come to bed, I promise I won’t try to seduce you.”
He choked with laughter at this and was silent for what seemed like an hour. She spoke again.
“Think of me, then, if you’re determined to be noble. I won’t get any sleep because I’ll be worrying about you, you annoying prat.”
He smiled in the dark and thought about refusing again, but then sighed and got up. He brought his bedding with him and slipped under the covers next to her. The warmth and softness were so markedly different from the hard chill of the floor that he immediately relaxed, almost moaning in relief at how lovely it was.
For a moment he forgot that he and Ginny were only supposed to be friends, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, the heat of her skin radiating through the soft flannel gown. She made a noise that sounded rather like, “Mmm….” and buried her face in the juncture of his neck and shoulder, making goose bumps run up his arms. Harry nuzzled her hair and started moving his hands over her back, but just before his mind slipped away completely, he remembered why he had nearly spent the night on the floor and why he shouldn’t be this close to her. His hands stilled, and he pushed himself away and reluctantly turned over.
She made a frustrated noise and propped herself up on one elbow, grabbing his shoulder with her other hand and pulling him towards her.
“Harry, we can’t keep doing this.”
He sighed, turned to face her, and found himself gazing into troubled brown eyes.
“I know,” he said simply. “That’s why I wanted to sleep on the floor. When I’m this close to you, it’s almost impossible for me to stay away from you, and I have to, so””
“So I’ll be safe,” she interrupted softly. “I know, Harry, I know, you’ve said that before. But think about this”I’m in as much danger as anyone else you care about. My hand on Mum’s clock is pointing to ‘mortal peril’ just like the rest of my family. Hogwarts isn’t safe anymore, Dumbledore’s gone… and Snape probably thinks we’re still together and will tell Tom anyway.”
She paused, then continued gently, “And besides, you’re killing yourself over it, I can tell. Hermione told me you never smile anymore, and I’ve never seen you so miserable. Dumbledore told us that the greatest weapon of all is love, so why are you shutting it out of your life?”
She stopped speaking abruptly as she realized what she’d just said, and the pair of them stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed an eternity before she broke the silence one last time.
“Just make sure you keep that in mind when you finally decide if you want to be with me or not. But don’t keep… teasing me with these little hugs and kisses and longing looks. Either be my boyfriend, or be my friend. Because my heart is breaking, too.”
Her voice quivered at this last, and she turned over quickly and buried her face in her pillow. Harry started to reach for her, to comfort her, but then hesitated. He didn’t want to hurt her more. He heaved a great sigh and turned away, knowing he wouldn’t sleep he felt Ginny weeping quietly beside him.
* * *
In the other bedroom down the hall, Lily sighed as she sat and rocked her infant son to sleep. They’d moved his crib into their room, for the night at least. James still didn’t fully trust their guests, and while Lily was inclined to believe them, she also didn’t want to take any chances that she might be wrong.
She looked down at her son’s sleeping face, lit by the soft light of the single candle by the bed, and smiled tenderly. She would do anything for him, even die for him if she had to, she loved him so much. Lily played gently with his baby-fine hair, already sticking up in the back, like his father’s. Like the hair of the boy in the guest room.
She frowned at the thought and stood, her movements slow so as not to wake him. She padded softly to his crib and laid him gently in it, tucking his favorite stuffed toy next to him and smoothing the coverlet over his little body. Lily stood at the side of Harry’s crib, just looking at him and thinking. She almost didn’t hear when James entered the room and walked quietly to stand behind her. He put his arms around her shoulders, and she rested her head against his and covered one of his hands with hers.
“I see it, you know,” she whispered.
“The resemblance?” he asked quietly. She nodded and raised her head to look him in the eyes.
“To you and to the boy in the guest room.”
His face became troubled, and he turned and went to the dresser. He pulled out a pair of pajamas and brought them over to the bed, but instead of putting them on, he held them loosely before setting them on the bed. After laying them down, he sat and scrubbed his face with his hands. Lily moved away from the crib and sat beside him.
“We have to trust Dumbledore, James,” she said after they had sat in silence for a few minutes. “And…” she hesitated before continuing, “I believe them.”
He raised his head and gave her a piercing look.
“But how can you be sure?” he asked hoarsely. “I mean, I know Dumbledore believes them, but let’s face it, Lily, he’s a trusting man. I just don’t trust as easily as either one of you.”
“I know you don’t, James, but you don’t see them like I do.”
“How do you see them?”
She squirmed slightly on the mattress as she tried to think of how to explain it to him.
“It’s… it’s not really something I can describe. I just… I just know. I see… echoes, I suppose, in our son and in Harry. I can see parts of you in him, and parts of me, and… and I know.” She sighed. “You just have to trust me, James.” She looked directly into his worried eyes, and her gaze was sad. “Trust Dumbledore then, if you don’t trust me.”
His expression changed in an instant from uncertainty to concern, and he pulled her to him.
“Oh, Lily, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I trust your judgment, I do! I’m just… worried, that’s all. I don’t want to lose you or Harry, and I’m not sure of them yet!” He heaved a heavy sigh and his head dropped onto her shoulder.
“But I trust you. And I trust Dumbledore, so I’ll at least try. All right?”
She smiled at him as he raised his head and he gave a tentative smile back. He leaned forward and nuzzled her nose with his, and as she giggled, his smile grew wider. He pulled her into a gentle kiss that deepened and grew passionate until they broke away gasping. He reached for her again, but she pushed him back.
“James! The baby’s right there!”
“But he’s not even one yet! He doesn’t know what’s going on, and he’s asleep anyway.”
But she shook her head, half smiling to soften the refusal. James groaned and grumbled as he reluctantly pulled away, and Lily slipped out of his arms to change into her nightgown. He pulled on his pajamas as Lily got into bed, then followed her and curled around her as she lay on her side. They remained that way as they drifted slowly from consciousness and into uneasy dreams.
* * *
At the Burrow, Hermione couldn’t sleep. She’d stared at the ceiling above Ginny’s bed for the past two hours, running through all the things that could go wrong when they traveled through time tomorrow. When she’d thought about everything so much that her thoughts started going in circles, she’d given up and gone downstairs. She had the vague idea that a cup of tea might make her sleepy, but instead of going to the kitchen, her feet brought her to the Weasley’s sitting room.
She stopped for a moment at the doorway, and was surprised to see Ron slumped on the overstuffed sofa, apparently lost in thought. She padded softly over to him and laid a hand on his arm, expecting him to look up and give her one of his heart-stopping smiles. Instead, he jumped and gave a muffled yell while groping in his pocket for his wand.
“Hermione!” he gasped as she jerked her hand away. “Don’t do that! My heart’s going that fast!”
“Sorry,” she said tentatively, curling up next to him on the sofa. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s all right,” he assured her as he draped his arm around her shoulders, which she took as a cue to scoot a tiny bit closer than she normally would have. “Just didn’t expect anyone to be up at this hour.”
Hermione smiled. “Neither did I.” Her smile changed into a curious expression. “What are you still awake for? You can usually sleep through anything.”
Now it was his turn to smile, though somewhat bashfully. “I was… thinking. Kept wondering what I was getting myself into.”
“Oh, Ron, everything will be all right, you’ll see. There shouldn’t be any problems tomorrow with the Time-Turner Moody got for us, and Tonks is an experienced Auror. She’ll know what to do on a mission like this. It’s not even that dangerous! Voldemort won’t be looking for us, or even know we’re there.”
“I know, but…” he hesitated, and began stroking her hair absently, apparently oblivious to the way that her entire body went very still and tense. “What if we mess things up? Or worse, what if something goes wrong and we get lost in time?”
Ron glanced down and took her hand, to her surprise. He’d never done that before, unless he was trying to drag her somewhere. But this time he held it gently, carefully, as if he were afraid he’d break it. He studied it, running his fingers over her knuckles and tracing the veins that laced their way down the back of her hand and around her wrist. His touch both comforted and thrilled her, and she could feel goose bumps rising on the arm he held.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he murmured to himself as he tightened his grip on her hand, not noticing the effect he was having on her. But then, he never really noticed.
She reached up and tilted his chin with her other hand so that she was looking into his wide blue eyes. Hermione sometimes thought she could get lost in those eyes; that endless blue that seemed to draw her in and swallow her. This was one of those times.
“You won’t lose me, Ron,” she said softly, “don’t worry.”
They stared at each other for a long, still moment. He wanted to kiss her; she could see it in the way he looked at her! Hermione’s heart was thundering in her ears, and she closed her eyes.
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me… please kiss me… she pleaded silently.
And he did. But it was a chaste, brotherly kiss on her forehead, not the passionate lover’s kiss she wanted on her mouth. Maybe she’d only seen what she’d wanted to see.
She let out the breath she’d been holding in a whooshing sigh as he pulled her close and held her tightly. She tucked her head under his chin so that she wouldn’t have to look at him. They’d been so close this time she’d almost thought he felt the same way she did.
Almost. However, he obviously still thought of her as his best friend, nothing more.
Hermione snuggled deeper into Ron’s chest as his breathing slowed, figuring that she’d better take what she could get, since she couldn’t have what she wanted.
She didn’t see the smile that slowly blossomed on his face as she cuddled closer to him.
Just a moment longer… I’ll go soon. Don’t want to upset the Weasleys in the morning… she told herself as she closed her eyes.
But soon her breathing fell into the same rhythm as his, and the pair of them drifted off in each other’s arms, neither knowing that they were dreaming of each other.
Of Christmas Past by Chaser921
Chapter Notes: Sorry for the delay everyone, personal crises abounded, and then I had to get ready to be in London for six weeks. That's London, England. I'm doing a study abroad here, and I'll be here for Order of the Phoenix and Deathly Hallows! Whooo! Anyway, before I get to excited, I want to thank my beta, yemeron very much, as this chapter kept getting stuck and she helped me a lot with, it.