The Only One Who Could See Her by Kattelena Riana
Chapter Notes: Sorry for the long wait, I had a bit of writer's block combined with my the Deathly Hallows which resulted in the long wait. I have finished writing the story, so updates should come faster. A giant thanks to my beta kathyhermy123, she's been amazing and has just been a wonderful beta. Reviews are always appreciated.
It read:
“This journal belongs to Lily Evans. These are my experiences with a magic that hardly anyone has encountered. This magic deals with limbo, and when only one person can spot these spirits. I assume that one day in the future someone will encounter this strange magic again. I hope that my experiences help you.”
Hermione gasped. “This is just what we need!”
Draco nodded, but he had a contemplating look on his face. Hermione, being very observant, noticed this quickly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked curiously.
“Don’t you think it’s odd that right after we talk to Dumbledore and he tells us that Lily and James Potter went through this, we find Lily’s diary?” Draco said, questioning the odd coincidence.
Hermione blinked several times. Now that he mentioned this, it seemed very odd indeed.
“I suppose we shall never know, or at least not in the near future,” Hermione replied after a few moments.
With that, they continued to read the diary:
“September 13, 1975
Dear Diary,
The big Quidditch match is coming up tomorrow, Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. They won the Quidditch cup last year. I’m kind of hoping we lose, because every time that we wi, it inflates James’ ego so much and he bugs me to go out with him even more than usual. But you can’t tell anyone that: I’d get murdered by my own house, Head Girl or not.
I had thought James couldn’t get any more annoying with his constant date proposals, but I was wrong. Today he ambushed me with his friends there for backup and he started serenading me in the Great Hall during dinner, with his friends helping! I was so humiliated. Why can’t he just get a hint! I don’t like him and I never will. I’ve made this perfectly clear: I stopped being nice about it long ago. Somehow, it just won’t get through his thick head. Just because every other girl in the school wants to go out with him, doesn’t mean I do. I think he’s a pompous, arrogant, conceited, trouble-making, big-headed bafoon with an ego the size of Russia..”
Hermione paused her reading, and commented, “Sound familiar?”
Draco replied, “You don’t get in trouble, though.”
Hermione shot him a glare, but couldn’t help smiling. Draco gave her a big grin and she rolled her eyes at him as she continued reading.
“...I think that’s enough ranting about James Potter for one night. I need to go to sleep now so I don’t look like a raccoon in the morning.”
After the two finished reading this entry, Draco commented, “I thought this was supposed to help us.”
Hermione, needing to be optimistic for the sake of her sanity, replied, “It will, later. I’m sure of it.”
“September 14, 1975
Dear Diary,
The Quidditch match was today. Good news, Ravenclaw won! Bad news, James fell off his broom from fifty feet! We all thought he was dead. Thankfully, he survived, but is still unconscious. I know I complain about him a lot, but I didn’t want this to happen to him! I just wanted him to come to his senses and stop asking me out. I really hope he’s okay. I have to go and console the other Gryffindor girls right now: just imagine how they must feel. I feel sorry for him despite my absolutely hating him, and they loved him (or so they say). My shoulders are going to be soggy for weeks.”
“September 15, 1975
Dear Diary,
I think I’m losing my mind. I was in the common room and I saw James. I was concerned because he had fallen fifty feet just two days before so I was polite and asked him how he was.
He told me, ‘I’m great; especially since the beautiful Lily Evans is talking to me! Want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?’
Annoyed, I told him, ‘Just because you fall fifty feet from a broom playing a dangerous sport does not mean I’ll go out with you.’
He winked at me and said, ‘Cut me some slack! I fall from that height and make it out alive just for you, and you won’t even give me a date?’
‘Exactly.’
Then Sirius came down from the boy’s dormitories and asked me who I was talking to. I told him that it was James and pointed to where James was standing who was trying to tell his best friend discretely, but not successfully. Sirius didn’t even notice James. I told him I was talking to James and he looked at me like I had grown another head!
He then proceeded to tell me, ‘Lily, James has been in the Hospital Wing the past two days, and is still there. Madam Pomfrey doesn’t know when he’s going to wake up. You must have liked him more than you let on if you think you’re talking to him.’ He shook his head and walked back upstairs.
I looked at James who looked just as nonplussed as I and asked him, ‘Why didn’t he notice you?’ James simply shrugged.
Then I reached over to pat him on the arm (to console him for his best friend blatantly ignoring him, not any… other reason) and my hand went through his arm. We both stared at my hand for a good minute before I shrieked and ran up to my room. Now I’m here, still shaking about this. I think I’m completely insane.”
Draco and Hermione looked at each other. Hermione broke out in a big grin and tried to give Draco a hug, but ended up falling through him. She groaned while Draco laughed.
Hermione scowled and grumbled, “That’s not funny.”
Draco fought to keep the smile off his face but failed and replied, “You’re right, it’s not funny. It’s hilarious!”
Still scowling, Hermione got up and went back to the journal. “Shut up and keep reading.”
“September 20, 1975
Dear Diary,
Since the last time I wrote here, I’ve gone to the Hospital Wing to visit James. And the James that I can see and talk to came with me, trying to get a date (big shock, I know). When I got there, I went over to James’ body, and when the other James saw his own body, he paled so much that he actually looked like a ghost. I was afraid he was going to pass out.
‘James?’ I asked tentatively. ‘Are you okay?’
He looked at me and mumbled, ‘That explains so much.’
I didn’t even want to bother figuring that one out. He looked up at me with pleading eyes and asked me to help him. I couldn’t say no, but I made him promise that he couldn’t ask me out while I was helping him. He sighed, contemplating this deal, and went with it. I suppose he figured out that he could just ask me again after he was back in his body.
Just so you know, I don’t find any of this normal. I’m still questioning my sanity, but have decided that this is somehow a way that I’m dealing with his comatose state. You don’t buy that either, do you?
Since the Hospital Wing, I’ve been spending all of my free time dedicated to helping James get back in his body. How, you may ask? First I tested everything he could and couldn’t do. Turns out all he can do is be seen by me and me alone and talk to me and me alone (oh, joy). Since then, I’ve looked at every book in the library that I could get my hands on that could possibly be related to this subject, and I’ll tell you, it’s not helping. But I’m sure we’ll find something soon, otherwise he’ll drive me crazy with talk of Quidditch. My friends are scared of what I’m doing, however. Luckly, I’ve managed to convince them that I’m already studying for our N.E.W.T.’s and they believe me. I better do my homework now, I’m starting to fall behind on it which is fairly ironic because I am spending all my time in the library.”
“October 11, 1975
Dear Diary,
I’m sorry that I haven’t written in a while, but I’ve been so busy with researching. We haven’t found anything of use yet! James is proving to be very helpful and is actually quite nice to talk to when he’s not talking about Quidditch or annoying me and asking me out, which he has kept his word to and hasn’t asked me since that day in the Hospital Wing. I feel so bad for him, I asked him what he does when I’m at meals or doing homework or sleeping and he told me that he just watches people, sees what they do, especially his friends and sees what prank they’re planning. When he told me this, he looked so sad! I just wanted to give him a hug, but I couldn’t, otherwise I’d fall through him. I really hope we find something soon so he can talk with his friends and play Quidditch, which I know he misses.
I have to go, James told me where his invisibility cloak is and I’m sneaking down to the library to do more research. I never thought I’d break the rules, especially for James Potter!”
“October 31, 1975
Dear Diary,
This is so frustrating! I hate the library! How could it fail me now, of all times? We’ve looked at everything! Even in the restricted section. We’re going to keep looking, though, and hopefully we’ll find something. If not, well, I don’t even want to think about that. Poor James! I hope he hasn’t been thinking about that, but of course he has. It is his life. I really hope we find something.
We’ve talked a lot and he’s actually a really nice guy. Once he stops acting cool to impress people, he’s incredible. He’s very smart (which explains why he’s Head Boy), but I never would’ve guessed that with his study habits. He said that he always puts things off until the last minute. I have to go, I’m throwing him a little surprise Halloween party because he told me that Halloween was his favorite holiday and he deserves to celebrate it. I’m really glad that I’ve borrowed his cloak.”
“November 15, 1975
Dear Diary,
It’s been two months since I first started seeing James’ spirit. We still haven’t found anything, but researching is becoming more fun. I don’t think we’ve done any real research for at least a week because we’re talking and laughing so much. How come I didn’t know he was such a sweet guy before? I think I know him better than I know my current best friend. That’s pretty sad, isn’t it? I haven’t even spoken to my best friend for at least a month. My friends must think there’s something wrong with me. I’ve never ‘studied’ this much. Oh, well - I’m enjoying James’ company so much.
I kind of wish that I hadn’t told James that one of the requirements for my help is for him to stop asking me out because now if he asked me, I think I’d say yes. He really is pretty cute. And he’s smart. And he’s Head Boy, so that means he’s not into trouble making as much any more. He isn’t as conceited anymore, either. I’d say his ego has deflated enough so now it’s now only the size of Spain, which is definitely an improvement. But I’m definitely not going to fawn over him like some of the other girls in this school. I’d merely accept if he asked me out, or flirt with him, or both. I’m never going to stoop to some of the girls’ levels of worship of James. One stole a pair of his boxers, framed it, and has it hanging over her bed. That girl has serious problems.
I’ve gone down to see James everyday since Halloween. I just never get tired of talking to him. He always knows how to make me laugh. This may sound pretty horrible of me, but there’s a part of me that hopes James doesn’t get his body back. That part of me wants James all to myself, and doesn’t want to share him with anyone else. But I can never tell him that: it will re-inflate his ego. I’ve got to go meet him now, I’ve been away from him for 30 minutes and I already miss him. I know - I’m pathetic.”
“November 29, 1975
Dear Diary,
Okay, so it’s official, I’m in love with James Potter, just like all the other girls in the school. Although, of course, there is the sad fact that he’s rather thick - I keep flirting with him and am trying to shove signs in his face that I like him, but he’s completely oblivious to it all! How can I possibly be more blatant about it? When he’s around, I do normal flirting (as in talking) with him, and I be sure to wink at him from time to time and all of the books I’ve dropped haven’t been on accident so I can pick them up. But he doesn’t even notice! I swear that if I get anymore obvious I’ll have to tell him bluntly that I like him. I think telling him that I love him would scare him. I know guys can be terrified of that. My sister has scared many a guy away by doing that, although I’d rather not talk about her.
I need to pick a Christmas present to give him. I’ve decided that I’ll buy him a gift and tell him that he can have it after he gets his body back. I’m going to stay over the holidays for the first time just so I can keep James company. I’ve already told my parents and they’re only okay with it because I told them I need to stay so I can use the library to study for the N.E.W.T.’s. I hate lying to people, but I can’t be put in St. Mungo’s, otherwise I’ll never be able to help James get his body back. I’m going to go meet James now and try to make him see that I love him. Boys can be so oblivious sometimes. It’s pathetic.”
“December 11, 1975
Dear Diary,
Today in Hogsmeade I found the perfect gift for James! It’s the most beautiful owl I’d ever seen. James’ owl died at the end of last year and he was rather upset by it. He didn’t ask me out for a week! He still hadn’t gotten a new one at the beginning of the year, but I think he’s ready for a new one. This one is a rich coffee brown with black spots and he’s incredibly intelligent. I was talking to the owner of the shop about James and this owl swooped down and landed on my shoulder and hooted softly as if saying, ‘Pick me! He’ll love me.’ And the storeowner commented that that owl had never done anything like that before, that he usually just waited calmly on his perch. So I bought him and I hope James will like him. For now, he’s in the Owlery. But James doesn’t get to find out about him until Christmas. I have to go talk to James: he hasn’t seen me nearly all day due to my Hogsmeade visit. He’s bound to be lonely.”
“December 25, 1975
Dear Diary,
I showed James his present. He was thrilled! James decided to name him Finny. Note to self: never let James name anything. He felt bad because he didn’t get me anything. I told him it was fine because it’s physically impossible for him to get me something. He then proceeded to promise to get me a present as soon as he was back in his body. I think James is finally catching on to me flirting because he winked at me! We’re very tired, research wise. We haven’t found anything and it’s been over three months. I don’t know what we’re going to do. Hopefully we’ll think of something soon. I’m going down to the Christmas feast. James is going to go there with me, but I can’t talk to him too much because I’ll look like I’ve lost my mind.”
“December 31, 1975
Dear Diary,
Today James and I went to tell Professor Dumbledore about his predicament. Luckily, Dumbledore didn’t think I was kidding or had lost my mind. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to help us. He did tell us if we figured it out, we should tell him how we did it. Since he’s always so cryptic, I thought I’d give him a cryptic answer to how we do it. He’d probably know what we mean, but just for fun, might as well give him a taste of his own medicine. We’re out of options and I can tell James is ready to give up, but I won’t let him. Something we did learn from Dumbledore is that James’ parents were planning on moving him to St. Mungo’s and if they can’t do it, they might take him off the life-support charm. It’s the only thing keeping him alive right now. He said it would happen in three weeks. I have to save him.”
“January 15, 1976
Dear Diary,
Today James woke up! I was there when he first woke up and I kissed him! I talked to him after Madam Pomfrey left, and at first he didn’t remember anything from his days as a spirit, so I took him to the Owlery to show him his owl. Apparently it all came back to him then because he muttered ‘Finny’. Then, realizing why I kissed him in the Hospital Wing (when he didn’t remember, he thought that I had fallen in love with him for falling fifty feet, he’s very imaginative) he kissed me and then asked me out since I wasn’t helping him anymore. I accepted. We’re going to Hogsmeade on Saturday. This will be my last entry, so good-bye, Diary; you’ve been helpful for me to rant and get all my problems out and helped me solve them. I’m going to go find James and snog him like I’ve wanted to for a month and a half.
-Lily Evans”
Draco stared at the journal. “It didn’t tell us how to get you back!”
Hermione looked at him and replied, “Yes, it did. You just have to read between the lines.”
She started muttering under her breath. “But it couldn’t have meant that. Why would it? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Draco was bewildered. “What in the name of Merlin are you talking about?”
Hermione ignored him and continued, louder, “Wait, it does. ‘I realized something I should’ve realized a long time ago. If this had never happened, if fate hadn’t intervened, I would live a very different life, a life not fulfilled.’ But us, no! That’s too crazy. Fate wouldn’t do that - fate isn’t that reliable. Why would it do that? That’s just stupid! How stupid could I be to even consider that idea?”
Draco, frustrated about being kept out of her train of thought, grumbled, “I could tell you how stupid you are if you let me know what the bloody hell you’re talking about.”
Hermione seemed to suddenly realize that Draco was there still. She immediately spoke.
“Oh! Sorry. What Lily is leading me to believe is that, probably right before he woke up, she told his spirit that she loved him (or liked him) and he probably said the same in return. He woke up, and what happened then is described in the journal. So what Dumbledore told us about what she said, she was talking about fate intervening so they would fall in love. However, with us? I don’t know....”
Draco saw where she was going with this. ‘The fates couldn’t possibly want me to be with a mudblood. That’s preposterous,’ he thought. But somehow, Draco wasn’t as repulsed as he would have been a month ago. ‘No, I’m sure it’s something else.’ But something else in his head, something very small and very quiet, seemed to disagree, and didn’t mind at all. In fact, that tiny little part of him was glad. However, Draco didn’t even notice that little part due to the miniscule size of it.
Hermione, who was staring at the bookshelves, looked at Draco and announced, “We need to research the Fates.”
After gathering several books and reading the sections on the Fates of Greek mythology, they knew it wasn’t that. This didn’t have to do with trying to prolong life in that way. They then proceeded to destiny. This was what they wanted; but it only described the theory of seeing the future, as the wizarding world had yet to figure out if there really was destiny. There were Seers who would tell Prophecies, but this was not that either. After looking at the rest of the useless books, they gave up.
Hermione was thinking about the meanings and Draco was banging his head against the table, trying figure out what it meant. But quick footsteps and a panting, raven-haired boy disturbed them.
Draco looked at him curiously. “Potter, what are you doing here?”