To Love Life Again
Chapter Six
A Total Thaw
There was buzzing in her mind. Like bees.
Hermione was curled up in her bay window, her knees to her chest, looking out at the drizzle, and at the sunlight pouring in through the drizzle, and the little rainbows arching in through the sunlight in the drizzle.
She smiled. Spring rain.
As though she had spoken her thoughts, she felt a lick in her toes.
“Hey, little girl. Are you lonesome? Are you hungry?” Hermione crooned, gently scratching her kitten behind the ears. Springrain purred. She was a delicate, silky little white thing, with eyes that changed color according to her moods. Right now they were vermillion, somehow telling Hermione that she was inclined for some milk. Hermione scooped her up and they went to the kitchen, where Hermione poured fresh milk on Crookshanks’ old smaller bowl.
Springrain gave a small meow of thanks, rubbed her cheek on Hermione’s ankle twice, and then drank in that dainty way of hers, her little tongue not making even the tiniest splash. Hermione stroked Springrain’s back absently.
“Are you ready for a new… plaything?”
“Andrei?”
“Yes, it’s me. How are you holding up? You enjoyed it last night?”
“It was wonderful, just what I needed. And Darcy was charming.”
“Right, right. Well, I’m coming over. I”that is to say, we, have something for you.”
“You’re always welcome.”
And he had come. With a little hamper. The hamper she almost didn’t notice, because Andrei’s gray eyes held hers. There was something mysterious about his gray eyes. They seemed bottomless, like a lake. Ever since she had stared into those pools she never got enough of them. She remembered the glint they had when she had been alone with him in the Tower Hill. A gleam of challenge, and vulnerability. She was piqued.
And when he opened the hamper and brought out his surprise, she was worlds more than just piqued, but touched, in a way that made her heart pound worse than it did when he had danced with her the night before in the pub.
“Hermione?”
Kathy’s voice rang through the door. Hermione felt all the blood rush to her face as if she’d been caught doing something illicit. She laughed at herself and tipped the milk carton she hadn’t realized she still held to her mouth. Then she ran to get the door. Kathy breezed in holding a covered cake dish, which explained why she called instead of knocked. After placing the dish on the table, she looked down at Springrain, who had decided to sniff out the visitor, her eyes turning to their friendly aquamarine.
“Oh, hello, pretty! So you’re the thing Andrei’s been hiding from us when he went back from Dublin.”
“Did he?” Hermione asked as nonchalantly as she could, uncovering the cake and exclaiming over it to hide her own stuff.
“Yes, he did. As if he’s so clever and we’re as blind as mice.” Kathy winked. Hermione blushed again, but she had turned to the pantry, looking for something wholesome for her guest to drink. Jack had already banned Kathy from wine.
“You didn’t grow up with him, did you?”
“No, no, we only found out about him when we read about his parents’ unfortunate accident in the paper. All MacElroys in Ireland are family. The very first MacElroy was from England, too, mind. An orphaned boy. He was reared by the Fitzgeralds. He grew up and worked his way to acquiring the pub.
“Anyway, enough about Andrei’s history. You can just ask him yourself. This is your very belated welcome cake, your grandmother’s own recipe. Chocolate chiffon. You can share it with your lovely kitten here, or some bloke with blonde hair and gray eyes who happens to share my mother’s maiden name.”
Hermione laughed the remark off as she gave Kathy a glass of orange juice. “What about you?”
Kathy rolled her eyes. “Goodness, I still haven’t shed the extra fifty pounds I gained since I was pregnant with Ron. I stand on the brink of getting fifty more pounds already without eating cake. I only came here to tell you about the ceili””
“Hermione?”
The voices followed by knocks were familiar. Hermione gave a small cry of joy as she rushed to open the door.
Harry and Ginny stood there. Hermione only had a second to look at them though before her vision was obscured by both their manes of hair as they hugged her. Hermione smiled but pushed them back, and in swift movements, drew her wand from inside her sweater and pointed it at their feet, transfiguring their house slippers into sensible shoes just in time before Kathy opened the door wider.
“Oh, hi, Kathy!” Ginny moved to hug Kathy immediately. Harry smiled and nodded in assurance and understanding at Hermione, putting an arm around her shoulder as they went in the house.
“You’re huge! My, my! And still so pretty,” Kathy said, inspecting Ginny from head to toe after they had kissed each other. Ginny was wearing an emerald maternity smock over red and gold tartan capri pants. She was glowing, even though she still had the look of someone who had Apparated hastily. Hermione brushed back Ginny’s long hair affectionately, and between them they exchanged a look of sisterly love.
“How have you been, Kathy? And Jack? And Patty? And…little Ron?” Harry asked, steering Ginny to sit at the table. Hermione smiled at him as she put plates on the table and sliced the cake.
“We’re all fine, thank you. I’m expecting again, too. In September. How about you?”
“In July,” Ginny answered, picking up Springrain and giggling when the kitten snuggled up in her lap contentedly. But before she could ask Hermione about it, Kathy spoke.
“I was just telling Hermione about the ceili. We’re giving one tonight. For spring. And then we’re thinking of helping Hermione set one up on her own for the summer solstice. Maude Alice used to have one every year before she took poorly, you know.”
“Tonight? But you just had a party last week as well!” Hermione sputtered on her juice. She was getting jittery just thinking of another party when her mind was still buzzing about the last one, and the dance she had then had been nothing more than a little swing to keep her from being crushed by the other whirling bodies on her way to the bar.
“That wasn’t our real Spring Ceili yet, Hermione. We’re not letting you leave with just that silly noisy jaunt. We’re having better music tonight. And more food. And moonlight. We’re setting up outside, by Maude’s pond as usual. It’s romantic. Jack proposed to me there two years ago. You’re invited, of course.” She smiled at Harry and Ginny.
“Oh, you can’t possibly think I’ll go to a party without clothes. We only dropped by. Harry had a business luncheon in Dublin.” Harry nodded in agreement to Ginny’s words and added, “You know, trying to earn more now. We’ll come on the summer solstice. If Ginny can still move by then.”
Ginny slapped Harry in the arm even as she and Kathy laughed. Hermione was, however, gaping.
“You seem to be forgetting that I’ll be hosting that ceili. And I don’t know how!”
“Oh, you’re not to worry a bit. People will bring the food and drink. All you have to do is open your doors and make yourself beautiful for your lover.”
“I don’t have a lover, Kathy!” Hermione protested, half-laughing and half-blushing.
Kathy just winked on her way out. “I’ll send Andrei to get you around seven.”
“What am I going to wear?” she called.
“Your smile will do!” And with that, Kathy was gone.
“Is she implying I can go stark naked?” Hermione laughed.
Harry and Ginny gave her an eloquent look.
“Well, how are you two? Was it alright for you to Apparate, Ginny?”
Ginny waved a hand to say it was nothing. “We came as soon as we read your letter. Hedwig had been delayed by the windstorm. We’re so sorry about Crookshanks, Hermione. Harry thought to get you another cat, but here we find someone had already beaten us to it,” Ginny smirked, stroking Springrain, who still lay in her lap.
“Her name’s Springrain. Andrei gave her to me,” Hermione spooned some chocolate chiffon into her mouth and smiled as cake and frosting melted in her tongue.
“Andrei?” Harry asked incredulously.
“I looked that pathetic maybe. He was the one who helped me bury Crookshanks, see, so perhaps he pitied me.”
She looked up to see Ginny smirking triumphantly at her husband. “That was sweet of him.”
The buzz in her mind quieted for a second. She looked from Ginny to Harry and back again. “Andrei MacElroy looks uncannily like Draco Malfoy! That’s a big thing not to mention to me, isn’t it? Don’t tell me you didn’t notice! I nearly passed out when I saw him””
Ginny giggled. “You were that affected? You didn’t expect Malfoy”I mean, a Malfoy look-alike”to be that handsome, did you?”
Hermione looked at them suspiciously. Unfortunately, another visitor sounded her little knocker just then, forcing her to delay her grilling of the Potters.
She opened the door. Andrei stood there. And Merlin, Malfoy or not, he was handsome.
~ * ~
Sometimes he still wished she had never come, but at the same time, he could no longer imagine his life without her daily barging into the pub and even into the bar, insisting to waitress, or just chinwagging with Aunt Patty, Kathy, Jack, Darcy, and nearly everybody. She knew the regulars now, and they in turn had gotten used to seeing Hermione around, either serving beans and sandwiches, or on one of the stools, jawing with little Ron, who also preferred Hermione’s arms and hip over everyone else’s if she was there. Ardmore loved her. Drew had even already declared he was taken with her.
Draco turned to polish the bottles on the counter behind him and nearly jumped at seeing his own dark scowl in the mirror.
“Do you think she’ll come? Won’t this be too loud for her?
“Who?”
“Hermione, Andy. You know, the sweetest lass hereabouts at the moment, with brown hair and brown eyes, and pixie nose and””
“I’m not planning on making a cartograph of her, Drew, and don’t ‘Andy’ me.”
“I’m taken with her. Pretty thing. And smart, by Finn.”
As if he needed to be reminded of that. At that point, he had turned away from Drew and made change for a kid who ordered a beer for his dad. As soon as the kid turned from the bar, he tipped the mug to his mouth and half-ed it. Draco had stared in disbelief.
Not at the boy, but at Hermione, who stood at the door laughing, wearing a simple peach blouse and skirt. Her hair run riot in her shoulders and her eyes twinkled as she caught his eyes and waved.
It was as if she had summoned him to her side. Drew never even knew where Draco had been until Draco was back making pints, relishing the feel of having held Hermione and swayed with her in time with the music as he led her to the safety of the bar. He had deposited her on a stool and ” he couldn’t believe it ” she had reached up and kissed his cheek, sending to him a delightful scent he had never smelled before, and making his mind reel for a second as if he’d downed a bottle of whiskey, or been clobbered by one.
He hadn’t dared look at her again after that, but his shoes suffered terribly from spilled mead and wine and beer. Fortunately, Hermione had gone waitressing again, so Drew and Darcy’s sniggers and teasing didn’t reach her sight and hearing.
“I need two Harps, a pint and a glass. Three Baileys and one whiskey, any bottle”it’s for Mick. He’s still pining for Natasha, poor guy.”
“Call me if he gets too weepy,” Drew said from the other end of the bar. Hermione smiled. Draco scowled as he put her order on her tray.
“Oh, I almost forgot, the Mackenzies need a mug,” she grinned at Draco. “And I need a pad, obviously.”
He couldn’t have stopped himself smiling as he couldn’t have stopped twirling her a little while ago. Ignoring Drew’s eyes drilling into the back of his scalp, he said, “What about a kitten?”
Hermione blinked. Then she laughed. “Oh, well, I’d love that if you have one handy and sweet.”
He ditched Drew in their favorite pub in Dublin by Disapparating from the comfort room to Diagon Alley. With his eyes, he dared the clerk of the Menagerie to say a thing when he paid with a personal check charging the only remaining Malfoy vault which had not been sequestered, in Gringotts.
The look on her face afterwards, the way her eyes shone like gems, the way she made the little cry of mixed surprise and delight, was worth every bit of his discomfort.
“Hey, dreamer, did you hear me?”
Draco jumped and his knees thunked against the cupboard door under the sink. “Ow! What do you want, Kathy?” he asked, glowering at her as she giggled, her elbows leaning on the counter, her hands occupied with a cake dish.
“Grouchy because Hermione isn’t here, are we? Calm down, I’ll see to it that she comes to the ceili.”
“I’m not being grouchy because of anyone not being here, you just gave me a fright, shrieking into my ear like that.”
“You were so lost in your daydreaming you wouldn’t have noticed it if I chewed on your ear. I’m bringing this to Hermione, alright? And then I’ll be in Waterford to fetch the musicians. Tell Jack to bring Ron to Samuela. I’ll get him from there. Can you umbrella me to the car?”
Draco flipped the flap and took the cake dish himself from his cousin. She fished an umbrella from the rack and led the way to her lorry. After placing the cake beside her on the passenger seat, he ran back to the awning and waved Kathy off.
The sun made thousands of little spectrums of light in the shower. By his feet, rainbows were flattened on the asphalt, like thinly-smeared frosting. He rolled his eyes at his thoughts, even as he smiled and jotted a note for Jack and Aunt Patty. He taped it to the counter, then ran out in the drizzle, smelling the rain, the flowers, and a scent of musk, oranges and strawberries, which he remembered as distinctly as the feel of a peach silk suit in his hands. Merlin, Andrei MacElroy. You’re in a bad fix.
~ * ~
“What’s so bad about it?”
“Don’t pretend to be obtuse; it’s too late for that.” Draco stared moodily at his glass. Sour buttercream as usual.
Mr Waterbut sat on a stool behind the counter, reading a book with a pince-nez perched on his tall nose. He licked his thumb and forefinger and turned a page, his eyes twinkling. “Robins. Have you noticed them buzzing around lately?”
Draco rolled his eyes but nodded.
“I thought they were happy, delighted creatures, especially during spring. But no, they’re actually terrified.”
Draco raised his eyebrows.
“Because it is in spring that they have everything to lose. Their mates, their eggs, their very souls. But they continue. They take the risks. Fear almost always couples great joy. They go together. You hurdle the first to get hold of the latter.”
“I get the message.”
“Well, then, why don’t you hurry along to Faerie Hill?”
”What?”
“You may have grown up lying, but you don’t want to be a liar anymore, especially to Hermione.”
“I didn’t say anything about Hermione!” Draco sputtered, flushing.
Waterbut laughed so hard his book dropped to the floor with a thud; with amazing agility, he dived from his stool and caught his pince-nez before it shattered beside the book.
“Don’t pretend to be oblivious, my boy. It’s too late for that.”
When he resurfaced over the bar, he chuckled again at the look on Draco’s face. Draco knew he must be looking paler than usual. He felt as if his sour buttercream were disagreeing with his stomach juices. Waterbut shook his head and lifted the flap. He jerked his head to motion Draco to follow him.
They emerged from the back door into a meadow Draco knew would be set up with tables and chairs in a few hours. Maude’s Pond reflected the trees and the sky as he approached it, pushed as he was by Waterbut. He was also made to sit down on the moss-covered rock jutting on one side of the pond like a gigantic green frog. Next, parchment, quill and ink were pressed onto his lap.
“I don’t know if you enjoyed writing, but this is not a school essay and it is certainly more important and illuminating. I want you to try and siphon all your thoughts and feelings out through the quill. Sift through them that way, like an old drawer of doodahs. You may come to find something, something to take with you when you go to Hermione.”
~ * ~
Draco was amazed at himself when he found his hand moving the quill into making line after line, until he reached the bottom of the parchment. He did find things. They were like tonics that made him less weak in the knees as he made his way to Faerie Hill Cottage.
When she opened the door, he swallowed. He couldn’t understand how he seemed to have forgotten just how her eyes could hold so many golden flecks, how her cheeks plumped up as her lips turned up at the corners when she smiled. And how, always when they met, she seemed to stare into his eyes inquisitively, as if examining his soul.
“You’re so early! I haven’t even thought of what I would wear!” She exclaimed, totally wrongfooting him. She also kissed his cheek in that sweet and familiar manner of hers. And then he received another wrench in the gut when he saw Harry bloody Potter and his wife emerge from the kitchen.
“These are my friends, Harry and Ginny Potter. You’ve met before, haven’t you, Andrei?”
“Oh, yeah, howdy, Andrei.” Harry held out a hand, smirking.
Draco took it, taking care to smile as he tried to crush Harry’s fingers.
“Alright, excuse me. There’s cake, Andrei, please help yourself. I’ll just go up and bathe and get dressed. I’ll be quick.”
She smiled at them, led Ginny to her favorite armchair, and ran up the stairs.
“Do you mind letting go now? I have yet to experience holding my child, you know.”
Ginny giggled. Draco let go of Harry’s hand and sank himself on the sofa beside Ginny.
“And do you mind telling me what she’s supposed to be dressing for?”
“Kathy said you’d pick Hermione up for the ceili.”
“Oh.”
“Are you alright? You look pale,” Ginny said kindly.
“He’d always been pale, the ferret,” Harry grinned. Draco glared.
“Harry,” Ginny intoned.
“Yeah, remember you owe me for disturbing my peaceful existence, Scarhead.”
“Well, you seem to relish the disturbance; you even gave her a kitten, you bast”
“Harry!”
“”ketful of daisies,” Harry finished lamely, still grinning even as he cowered from Ginny.
Ginny smiled at Draco. “We’re already practicing never to say cuss words now. Fred and George are quite good at it, too. They’re staying with us because they’re expanding their shop yet again, but wouldn’t think of living in a real house instead of a grimy den above it.”
Draco nodded, rolling his eyes at Harry’s persistent grin. “If Weasley could see you now…” he muttered, very quietly.
“Oh, you know he would have liked you. You avenged him, remember?” Harry whispered back.
Draco gaped at them. They were both smiling at him, almost as if they were fond of him.
It must have been walking in the drizzle. His brains had been addled.
“And besides, he wouldn’t begrudge Hermione something good, especially not when he couldn’t give it himself anymore,” Ginny touched his arm and squeezed.
It was more than he could take at that moment. He stood up and left.
~ * ~
Hermione filled the ornate claw-foot tub with her favorite bubbles and then jumped in, counting the seconds. After exactly a hundred and twenty, she stood up and turned on the shower, pulling the plug as she did. Within a minute, she was pointing her wand at her hair to dry it, and slathering on cream all over at the same time.
She can’t believe the way she was acting, but she just laughed it off. There could be no harm in it, could there? She liked Andrei, and his thoughtfulness, moroseness… Somehow, he made her feel less alone. A new friend, certainly. And she was thrilled by it. A lonely wren found another lonely wren and they flew off together.
She hummed, amused at her thoughts. If Ginny could perform Legilimency, the woman would be shrieking the house down. Hermione wondered what the three of them might be talking about downstairs. It was quiet.
She riffled through the contents of her wardrobe and picked an off-white halter dress. It would be perfect for the warming weather. And the satin fabric would reflect the moonlight. She searched for her plastic white camellia barrette and used it to clip the sides of her hair back. The rest fell down on her shoulders.
She sprayed on some of the perfume Ron had given her all those years ago, the bottle priceless to her, the contents magically replenished. She kissed the carven-glass rose cap and replaced the perfume in her locked velvet-lined caddy.
While she dabbed on some coral lipstick, she slipped on her white cork wedges. She twisted in front of her mirror a little, took a deep breath and went out.
She found Harry and Ginny playing with Springrain downstairs.
“Where’s Andrei?”
“Oh, he… he left to help with the ceili. He said he’d come back for you later. He came too early, and you rushed off to get ready before he could say anything, that’s all.”
“Oh.”
“You’re looking great, Hermione, prettier than I’ve ever seen you in a very long time. Ireland’s done you a world of good. Or perhaps the credit is to one particular Irishman.”
Hermione had to laugh. “Honestly, Ginny, you’d think you’re not Ron’s sister!”
“Why? I’d certainly not think it as two-timing my dear brother. He’d have been dead five years this June. Would you like it if I said you remain an old maid for him?”
Hermione just shook her head and picked Springrain up. “I’d like some more cake. Care to join me?”
~ * ~
Moonlight turned even the brown dais into silver. The musicians swapped their instruments, from bongos to guitars, to clarinets to knee harps, and never slacked pace. Tables were filled to overflowing with food and drink. The Brennan sisters were doing a lively step dance, skirts and legs and spirits swinging high.
In the middle of the merriment, Hermione stood dazed by the pond, looking at the rock she had previously sat on, where she’d written to Ron.
Ardmore Spring Ceili, Draconis Viridis, said the little sign staked by the rock.
“The Green Dragon.”
Hermione jumped. Andrei had joined her.
She smiled to cover her distraction. “Oh, you know Latin, too? You made the sign?”
“They call this stream and the pond it feeds ‘the Green Dragon’ because that’s what it looks like. And the old Fathers wrote it down in their books as Draconis Viridis, of course, since Latin is still the language of the Catholic Church.”
Hermione was more than a little jittery now. He had a different look in his eye. She had noticed it when he fetched her as well. He had barely spoken as they drove down here and when they arrived he had delivered her to Darcy and company. Now he seemed determined to talk about something. He actually steered her to the other side of the pond. It wasn’t far, but amazingly, the music and noise from the band and Ardmore villagers died off as if walls had enclosed them.
“Hermione, you’re not the cleverest witch in England for nothing,” he began.
Hermione unconsciously clutched his arm out of shock. She stared at him open-mouthed. He swallowed and gritted his teeth, letting out breath in an impatient sigh. “I’m sorry for not admitting it to you sooner. I had good reasons for doing so. But whatever those reasons are, I realize how I’ve been lying to you, and I want to stop, because you’ve come to mean something more than just an old distant acquaintance for me.”
His eyes were trained on a spot behind her, so that the gray she had admired reflected silver and hazel from the moonlight shimmering on the pond. But at that moment, Hermione felt no other feeling than resentment, and never had she felt such an itch to slap a face.
She let go of him. He looked at her with pleading in his eyes. She shook her head, her hands fists at her sides. “I need some air.” Her voice sounded unlike her own. It was high and cold. “Excuse me.”
She went home without knowing or caring if anyone called after her. After placing food on Springrain’s dish, she went to bed fully-clothed, with her wedges still on her feet. She curled up under her blankets and stared at her side table’s dovetails until the room was illumined with the sunlight of a new day.
Author’s Note: Ooh, cliffy! Thank you for reading, please tell me what you think, as always. This is becoming my trademark line now. *scrunchy-nose grin*
Since I have no beta to thank, I’ll pass it on to my great reviewers instead, and Jan (MagicalMaeve), for such a lovely prompt.