Emma couldn’t quite believe the disastrous turn that the groups’ Valentine’s Day plans had taken. Victory had been within their grasp, and yet it had been cruelly seized from them in the very last moments of battle. Sirius and Kirsty were simply not to be “ at least not at present. But things had been going so well, she mused. Where had it all gone wrong? How had things gone from a sweet, split-second first kiss to a frosty stalemate fuelled by jealousy, sexual tension and, above all, miscommunication?
Emma marvelled at how a simple bout of banter between adolescent boys could take a thriving plan and obliterate it into smithereens. In theory, the boys’ comments about Debbie Swain, despite the anger that Lily felt was obligatory towards them for it, had merely been the Bowtruckle that broke the dragon’s back.
Kirsty had never returned from her lunchtime venture up to the common room to complete her Ancient Runes homework, and Emma had highly suspected that she had spent the afternoon sulking up in their dorm. Acting on this suspicion, Emma had confronted her friend and gotten her to confess to what Emma had already suspected: Kirsty was jealous of Sirius’ attention towards Debbie. Emma had even made a point of arguing that Kirsty herself had in fact received more attention from Sirius through his spontaneous Valentine’s kiss. Kirsty, however, in true Kirsty style had quickly dismissed the kiss with her age-old comment that ‘Sirius hadn’t meant it in that way.’ Emma was by this point wondering what excuses Kirsty possibly came up with for why Sirius made such passes at her.
Sirius, on the other hand, had acted in a most uncharacteristic manner. Never before had Sirius taken such an interest in one of his fan girls, and never before had he had such a lack of interest in Kirsty’s welfare. Not once during Kirsty’s conspicuous absence had the boy wonder shown any concern for her whereabouts. However, Emma supposed that Sirius had gotten so good at hiding his emotions over the past few months that he might have been concerned without showing it.
Though, Emma couldn’t exactly blame Sirius if his thoughts had been otherwise engaged on Valentine’s Day. After Kirsty had fled from the Valentine’s Day celebrations at lunch time, Sirius and his fellow Marauders had pulled their own rotten Valentine’s prank (probably so as not to be outdone by Emma and Kirsty’s genius scheme from earlier on in the day). The prank in question had involved the Marauders jinxing everybody’s Valentine’s Day cards so that they said the negative version of whatever loving sentiments had previously been written inside.
Sirius, in particular, had been humorously giddy after the whole fiasco and went off to MacIntosh’s classroom to look down boastfully upon the rotten messages that would now be eternally printed on the inside of his teacher’s mountain of cards. But Sirius being Sirius didn’t just leave it there; he then went that gigantic leap further and plastered the worst of his teacher’s Valentine’s messages along one wall of the Great Hall at teatime.
He had received a week’s worth of detentions for his insolence, although Macintosh had actually seemed relatively impressed by Sirius’ handiwork. Emma only guessed as much because of the broad grin the professor had worn on his face when he grabbed Sirius by the collar of his robes and dragged him out of the Great Hall in plain view of his many admirers. MacIntosh three: Sirius two.
That was where the insufferable prankster had spent every evening over the past week, attending detentions aplenty with his most loathed professor.
The tension between the two misguided lovers was now at such an unbearable level that Emma found herself wondering how exactly they were remaining immune to it “ for Sirius and Kirsty were definitely the only ones that were.
It had only been in the last day or so that Kirsty and Sirius had reverted to acting like their normal selves around each other “ but they didn’t fool their friends as easily as that. At any form of bodily contact with each other Sirius and Kirsty would act as though an electric shock had passed through them. Startled, they would then refrain from looking each other in the eye before gabbling nervously to fill the awkward silence that was an unavoidable side affect of palpable sexual tension.
The question that now arose was what exactly was to be done next? Emma, Lily and Hayley had already discussed the situation earlier on the week (with minor irritating inputs from James in particular) and decided to let things cool down for a while. Emma, if the truth be told, wasn’t exactly thrilled by this result. If it had been up to her the group would have carried on bombarding Sirius and Kirsty with new strategies until one “ or both “ of them finally cracked and the couple were united in an explosion of bright lights and rose petals.
Emma revelled briefly in a daydream where a tuxedoed Sirius twirled Kirsty around in circles in the middle of a ballroom as rose petals drifted slowly down from the ceiling. As the two danced, cutting a trail through all the other couples gathered around them, they kept glancing over at Emma, the perpetrator who had caused the magnificent union, beaming happily in thanks. Emma let out a contented sigh. She always knew she had it in her to become the world’s best matchmaker.
Suddenly, Madam Pince loomed around a corner startling Emma from her reverie. Emma harrumphed. She still didn’t understand why they couldn’t just tell Kirsty and Sirius of their feelings for one another and get it over and done with because she was fairly certain that they’d all be all the more happier for it. But no, Sam was putting his foot down and insisting that they all let things run their course.
Emma had argued against this maintaining that if she let things run their course they’d most likely run along the wrong one. This sentiment however had merely earned her a scowl from Sam and Remus, who was also in hearty agreement with all Sam’s arguments.
She brought her hand up to her forehead and rubbed her temples. The headache started by her meagre offerings of a Herbology essay had now been made worse by mulling over a romance that wasn’t even hers.
Emma closed her textbook with a snap causing a plume of dust to rise five inches into the air. She had most definitely lost the battle with her homework. It looked like it was going to be another week in Herbology where Emma wasn’t Professor Sprout’s star pupil. But had the Herbology teacher really come to expect anything more?
Kirsty was already revelling in obtaining a suitably stuffed stomach by the time Emma approached the Gryffindor table at lunchtime. She was late and Kirsty judged by the irked look on her face that her Herbology essay had not gone exactly according to plan.
Emma took up her place next to Kirsty and Kirsty had to refrain from breaking into a scowl. Ever since Valentine’s Day, it had felt as if she had a constant private guard. Everywhere she went Lily, Hayley and Emma adorned her sides as if she was a flighty child that needed to be reined in occasionally.
Though maybe, mused Kirsty, it’s not merely for my protection but for that of Debbie Swain. Every time Kirsty had seen Debbie in the Great Hall over the last few days, she had had the most undesirable urge to pick up her dessertspoon and bombard her with numerous peas. Moreover, when they had met out of the Great Hall the only object Kirsty usually had about her person was her wand “ and she doubted that that would have turned out well.
A sudden hush descended over the room as Dumbledore stood and asked for quiet. The room was a buzz with curiosity “ Dumbledore very rarely made addresses to them during lunch.
“My dear students,” he began, his quiet voice echoing around the room with the same unbelievable volume. “As you are all well aware, tomorrow is our fourth Quidditch match of the year. However,” at this point Dumbledore began to look very solemn indeed, “I regret to inform you that it will not be going ahead as planned ”“
“What?” yelled James, spurting pumpkin juice out of his mouth and all over Remus, who was unfortunate enough to be sat across from him. “You can’t be serious!”
Kirsty too had started in surprise. She had just been about to take a swig of her own pumpkin juice when Dumbledore spoke and whipped her head around so fast that her neck cricked.
“Unfortunately, Mr Potter, I am deadly serious. There is to be no match tomorrow.” Kirsty watched Dumbledore’s face intently, trying to seek out signs of a possible prank. However, as she studied his wrinkled features closely she remarked at how he looked a little strained. This surprised her, as in her seven years at Hogwarts she had always regarded her headmaster as being a man very much in control, and a man who could not be fazed by much.
By now, several other students were on their feet “ James, Sirius, Sam, Lesley, Debbie and the Hufflepuff captain amongst them. Each one of them, with voices raised, were posing questions, concerns and angry mutterings at the impassive Dumbledore.
Lily, looking very much like the embarrassed girlfriend, was desperately tugging on James’ sleeve to try and get him to sit back down. James, however, simply ignored this and instead shot a reproachful look over at Kirsty. Clearly, he was not amused at her lack of outrage, and was very much of the point of view that she too should be standing up with him, shouting the odds.
But, if truth be told, Kirsty was actually more than a little relieved. She had been unbelievably nervous at the prospect of getting back out on the pitch again after her last pitiful performance. What if it happened again? What if, because of me, Gryffindor loses their chance of winning the cup?
However, there was also another factor influencing her current lack of desire to play Quidditch. The idea of going head to head against Debbie Swain right now was definitely not an appealing one. They were already engaged in a silent battle of wills over Sirius, and Kirsty didn’t much fancy coming to physical blows out on the pitch. Not when it was highly likely that, in her current state of emotions, she would either do or, more importantly, say something she’d later regret.
Then, all of a sudden, James’ voice rang out from amongst the babble of angry voices. “But why?” Kirsty was surprised at how most people in the hall seemed to hear him “ for he had not spoken overly loud.
Dumbledore surveyed them all gravely, and he seemed to be battling with himself over whether or not to tell them the truth. Beside him at the staff table McGonagall pierced him with her severe gaze, whereas further along the table Professor MacIntosh looked on at Dumbledore in interest.
The headmaster sighed. “I am sorry to report that there have been some recent Death Eater sightings in and around Hogsmeade. Nothing big has occurred; this is merely a precautionary measure that I have decided to take upon your behalves. If Voldemort’s”“ An involuntary shiver travelled around the room at the mention of the Dark Lord’s name. “Forces are gathering then it is for a reason. Therefore, I do not think it wise to have all of our students out in the grounds until the threat of danger has passed. So, I will therefore inform you all of when the match shall take place as soon as a decision is made.” And with that, Dumbledore took up his seat again and sat with his fingers pressed together as he surveyed his stunned, angry and, above all else, worried students.
Kirsty shared a look of concern with Hayley, and James, Sirius, Sam and Lesley all sat back down looking rather embarrassed with themselves.
“Come on, time to go!” exclaimed Peter, rallying the troops so that they wouldn’t linger on distressing thoughts for too long.
“Right, coming,” said James with a nod, looking rather shell-shocked by the lunchtime proceedings.
They vacated the Great Hall and went to mill about in the Entrance Hall for a few minutes before the start of lessons.
“Well, on the bright side,” began Sam, “we have more time to train now.”
Kirsty and Sirius nodded vehemently but James added a mere, “Hmm.” His brow was furrowed as if he was already implementing new techniques and tactics on the small-scale Quidditch Pitch that resided within his brain.
“Sounds like Voldemort’s finally upping his game,” said Sirius. There was an intake of breath from Lily, Hayley, Remus and Peter.
“I really wish you wouldn’t say his name,” commented Peter, throwing Sirius an irked look.
“It’s just a name, Peter,” argued Emma. “And you’d better get used to hearing it because I have a feeling he’s going to become a more frequent conversation piece from now on.”
They all turned sombre at this thought. Nobody liked to think about the war that was beginning to press down upon them all like a tonne of bricks.
“Well, as depressing as this conversation is,” said Kirsty, draping her bag securely over her shoulder, “I think I’m going to finish off my essay whilst you suckers actually attend lessons!”
“Ah, but, I’ve finished my essay and can therefore sit in lesson and do nothing, unlike you, who will be slaving away all afternoon!” gloated Sirius, sticking his tongue out at the end of his little speech for emphasis. Kirsty shot him a look of severe irritation and Sirius responded with an unusually smug grin.
Irritation soon turned into a profound scowl, however, when Debbie, who had been stood nearby with a gaggle of Hufflepuffs, overheard Sirius’ little gloat fest and came trotting on over.
“Ooh, Sirius, you clever boy,” she trilled girlishly, coming to stand between Sirius and Kirsty and placing her hand lightly over Sirius’ shoulder.
A look of what Kirsty hoped was pure horror flitted over Sirius’ face and Kirsty could feel her teeth beginning to grind together at the mere sound of Debbie’s voice.
“I can’t believe that you’ve finished that ghastly essay already. I’ve been trying for days and I still can’t make head nor tails of it”“
“Oh it’s quite easy really,” piped up Peter, being a fellow Ancient Runes student himself. “That is once you’ve”“
He broke off as Debbie raised her head in his direction and, looking him up and down, gave him a simpering look. “So what do you say, Black? Would you care to give a poor girl a huge hand?”
Her leg was now practically pressed against Sirius’ and her talon-like fingernails clung onto his shoulder as if she were a cat with a luscious bit of prey.
This display of possessiveness had Kirsty’s teeth poised ready to begin gnashing together. She shot a glance over at her friends whilst Sirius hesitated in his response to Debbie “ a good sign in itself “ and all of the girls were looking at Debbie in extreme distaste. The boys, however, were supporting a mixture of glee at Sirius’ humorous predicament as well as mild concern for what Kirsty guessed must be the murderous look on her own face.
“Erm, you know what, Debbie, I would love to, but, I’m afraid I’m going to be a bit busy for a while.” Sirius pulled a regretful face. “You know, this week’s detentions with MacIntosh really took it out of me, so I’m unbelievably behind with my work.”
“Oh,” said Debbie, looking taken back “ Kirsty guessed that Debbie was a girl who wasn’t used to hearing ‘no’ “ and Kirsty allowed herself a little glow of triumph.
“But,” continued Sirius, glancing Kirsty’s way with a look on his face that Kirsty was having a very hard time deciphering. “If you’re free this afternoon I’m sure Kirsty wouldn’t mind giving you a hand. You two could puzzle it out together.”
Kirsty had to mask the look of horror that threatened to dominate her features as Debbie swivelled around to face her, her hawk like eyes boring into Kirsty’s. “Oh, that would be great, Kirsten”“ Kirsty flinched at her blatant name misuse. “But, I’m afraid that I too have lessons this afternoon.”
In what seemed like a split second Debbie was back to mooning over Sirius again and Kirsty couldn’t bare to look any of her friends in the eye. Instead, she took to scuffing her boot against the stone floor.
“I’ll tell you what, Black, how about we meet in the library tonight and after you’ve given me a hand with mine”“ She paused then and inched even closer to Sirius so that her chest was practically pressed against his and when she resumed speaking her voice had turned seductive. “and I’ll give you a hand with yours.”
Sirius gulped, blinked and shook his head a fraction. His eyes left Debbie’s and made contact with Kirsty’s again. The disgust, incredulity, anger and sadness that she felt welling up inside her must have been projected onto her face, for within Sirius’ eyes there seemed to shimmer an unsaid apology.
Clearing his throat, Sirius returned to Debbie once more. “I guess that would be okay,” he said in reply.
“Great!” Debbie enthused. “So I’ll see you there about seven o’clock?” Sirius nodded and gave her a tight smile. Debbie squealed. “Thank you! You are an absolute star!” And with that she pecked him swiftly on the cheek “ to which Kirsty rolled her eyes heavenward “ and, if that had not been enough, as she turned to leave, Debbie trailed her finger lightly down Sirius’ front. It trailed a path from his left shoulder all the way down to where Sirius’ belt was nestled between his shirt and his trousers.
When this little routine was finished Debbie smiled coyly at Sirius and departed with a wave that consisted of a girly flex of her fingers. Kirsty gaped after her in disbelief. Could that girl be any more obvious? Was there no mystery and intrigue left in romance anymore?
James smirked over at Sirius and stuck his finger inside his collar to loosen it “ a dig at how smouldering Sirius and Debbie had just been. Sirius, however, remained looking flummoxed about the whole scenario.
“Merlin!” exclaimed Peter. “I don’t think Padfoot’s been in that much demand since the day he won a basket of chocolate muffins in Charms and Hayley and Emma didn’t leave him alone for a week!” Everybody apart from Kirsty laughed.
“You all right over there, Kirst?” enquired Remus, giving her a teasing look.
“Yeah,” joined in Sirius, turning towards her. “You don’t look your usual self, are you sure you’re all right?”
A muffled giggle emanated from somewhere near Hayley as Kirsty responded with a simple, “I’m fine, just thinking.”
“Ah, that’ll be it then!” piped up Sam with a laugh. Kirsty shot him a mock glare.
“Right, I am actually going to get some work done, unlike you layabouts!” announced Kirsty. “I’ll see you all at dinner?” The group all nodded in the affirmative and Kirsty made her way over to the staircase, silently still seething over the monstrosity that was Debbie Swain.
Just as her foot hit the first step, however, Sirius called her name. She stopped and swung around to face him, a questioning look already in position on her face.
“You know, if you still need some help with the essay you’re quite welcome to join us later.” He looked so sweet and accommodating that Kirsty almost considered saying yes. Nevertheless, she wasn’t under any illusion that her presence would for one minute prevent Debbie from her ploy to get her claws into Sirius.
“No thanks, I’m sure I don’t need you.” She turned on her heel then and left a very confused and mildly upset Sirius in her wake.
When she reached the first landing, she stopped and listened as her little group all went their separate ways. She could just make out Sirius from her position and wished with all her heart that the statement she had just so vehemently hurled at him were true.
It was Saturday morning, and Sirius could hardly move through the castle for the hoards of students. It felt weird being inside when all week he had been preparing some great commentary for Gryffindor’s second Quidditch match of the year. He was at a loose end and had taken to wandering aimlessly around the castle “ and it seemed as if he wasn’t the only one.
Nobody else had deigned to quell his boredom. Sam and James were both sulking, Kirsty was being eerily quite and actually spending the day in her room doing her homework, Hayley and Remus were up in the boys’ dormitory doing something that required a securely drawn curtain, Peter was playing his umpteenth game of chess with Heather and Emma and Lily were flicking through a Gladrags promotional catalogue.
With nothing else to do, Sirius took a deep breath and entered the nerd realm that was the library. Madame Pince was surprisingly quick and efficient with her collecting of his Potions textbook and the only waiting came when she bombarded Sirius with questions about his intent with said book. Honestly, you make a once in a lifetime trip into the library and somehow there’s a prank involved. Does this school’s faculty not know me at all?
With the heavy book now safely installed inside his bag Sirius once again set off on his meandering stroll. As usually happened when Sirius’ mind went unoccupied his thoughts turned traitorously towards Kirsty, no matter how hard he tried to prevent it. His detentions with MacIntosh that week had been unbearable for this very reason “ and the fact that they were with MacIntosh also didn’t add to their bliss like quality “ because they caused him to think about Kirsty non-stop.
The kiss that they’d shared on Valentine’s Day still haunted him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the feel of her lips against his despite the briefness of the sensation. In his opinion, there couldn’t be a more spectacular kiss, and this was coming from the guy who had been involved in his fair share of full-blown make out sessions.
Sirius noted that things had been strained between them ever since that moment. They were tiptoeing around each other, a thousand things remaining unsaid between them. He thought about how moody she had been ever since Valentine’s Day, and he knew it was because of him.
This was the unquestionable rejection that he’d been waiting for. He’d kissed her and she’d run. He had tried several times now to win her over and every time he had been shot down in flames. Well, this was it. From now on, he was to let things be, and hopefully that would lead to them rekindling their friendship, which he had missed so much over the past week. He and Kirsty were never going to be. He idly wondered whether he’d ever truly get over her. Would she always command at least a small part of his heart?
Vowing to rid himself of such melancholy thoughts, Sirius decided to make his way down to the kitchen and see if he could swindle the House-Elves out of a big chocolate cake “ because chocolate cheered boys up too.
Ten minutes later, Sirius emerged from the kitchen’s hidden depths with the biggest slab of chocolate cake known to wizard kind clamped within his jaws. He also had cradled within his arms several blueberry muffins “ which he intended to hand out to his friends, and he had a special double chocolate one with Kirsty’s name on it.
He had only gone a couple of paces when he spotted Debbie surrounded by a group of gossiping girls. Before he could swiftly escape unnoticed, she spotted him and gave him a wave and a flash of her beautiful smile. Sirius attempted to return her euphoric grin (conscious of the fact that chocolate had probably wedged itself in-between his teeth) and gave her the swiftest of waves. She smiled at him again and batted her eyelashes at him a couple of times before once again becoming immersed in Hogwarts gossip.
As Sirius began to hurry back to the safety of the Gryffindor common room and his friends, he marvelled at how he could be so turned on by a mere brushing of shoulders with Kirsty and yet feel nothing with Debbie. Debbie of course being the same girl who had spent the entirety of the previous night’s homework session placing her hand against his inner thigh and revealing much more cleavage than was necessary. However, he could safely say that he had felt nothing for her. Well, not nothing exactly, he was still male after all.
Sirius sighed and looked back over his shoulder at Debbie, who, it seemed, had been observing his backside as he strode away from her, and was now looking at him like a dangerous seductress. Maybe she wasn’t Kirsty, and maybe she wasn’t exactly somebody he could see himself dating, but it was definitely nice to be wanted.
So, biting the bullet, he wandered on over to her, intent on at least awarding her exceptionally good taste with a bit of witty banter. But for Debbie the reward came when all of her friends’ jaws dropped at the sight of her being approached by Sirius Black.
Being the gentleman that he was, Sirius offered Debbie a muffin, and when she asked him ever so politely if she could have the double chocolate one instead of blueberry, who was he to refuse?
After spending at least half an hour with Debbie “ who was surprisingly good company when she wasn’t being overly flirtatious “ Sirius returned to his common room to find the rest of the group already gathered there.
As was his duty he doled out the muffins, a smidgen of guilt tugging at him as he handed Kirsty the same boring blueberry muffin as everyone else.
To Sirius’ annoyance, all of the seats had already been taken up. So, after exchanging pleasantries with everyone, he made his way over to Kirsty and strewed himself over both the arm and the back of the sofa so that he was not only beside her but inescapably close too.
However, after experiencing merely a few seconds of close proximity with Sirius Kirsty got up and wandered over to stand before the roaring fire. Feeling rejected, Sirius slid down to take her seat but Kirsty remained staring down into the dancing flames. A few looks of various statures passed between their friends but Sirius pretended not to notice them.
As was becoming a regular scenario one member of the group was yet again missing. Sirius did a quick scan of the common room but it didn’t take long for his eyes to alight on Peter sitting over in a corner talking to Heather, but this time there no was no need for a chessboard to act as a conversation piece between the two of them.
Sirius turned to Emma, who also sat looking across at Peter, smiling slightly, and asked, “Do we not exist to him anymore?”
“Apparently not,” said Emma with a smirk.
It seemed as if Sirius and Kirsty were the only ones that were the exception of the rule because all of the couples were once again glued to each other’s sides “ after all there was definitely nothing like rubbing it in.
James was sulking, as he had been doing all day, about the cancelled match, and Lily was consoling him by running her hand continuously over his head, smoothing down his wayward hair. Sirius had tried pointing out to James earlier on in the day that the cancellation was a good thing as it meant more practice for the team, but the conversation had ended abruptly when Sirius narrowly missed the Transfiguration textbook that James had thrown at his head.
Sirius looked over to Hayley who was snuggled up with Remus by the fire. Both of them had their eyes closed and were tightly entwined in each other’s arms. He got the impression that they were both asleep and so he swallowed what he had been about to say. However, a couple of minutes later, Remus whispered something in her ear that made her smile and she buried her face in his chest.
Not really wanting to disturb them, but also being too nosy for his own good, Sirius asked her, “So, Hayley, you’re the big one-eight in five days time, and we still haven’t got anything planned.”
Hayley lifted her head off Remus’ chest and shot her boyfriend a look of mild alarm before turning back to Sirius with a wary look in her pale blue eyes. “I know, but I was kind of hoping for something quiet…”
Sirius’ ears pricked up at this and he looked over at James, whose eyes were now alight with the prospect of mischief and who also, incidentally, looked happier than he had done in days.
“No problem,” Sirius reassured her, “we can do quiet.” Hayley and Remus both raised their eyebrows and eyed him sceptically. “What?” asked Sirius, sounding like the epitome of innocence.
Emma snorted. “So you’re going to be quiet?” she gibed. “Quiet like you were on Kirsty’s and your own eighteenth?”
“Yes,” replied Sirius, slowly and deliberately.
“I see,” piped up Lily. “And this would be the same eighteenths where you wore a special pair of eighteenth birthday boxers outside your school trousers for the whole day, and where you provided Kirsty with a very noisy trumpet fanfare with every step she took?”
“Precisely,” argued Sirius, without a trace of shame.
“Is it just me?” Sam asked the group at large. “But is anyone else really looking forward to Hayley’s birthday?”
“Well, I’m glad someone is,” Hayley commented dryly.
Laughter filled the common room as Sirius hopped up onto the arm of the armchair that Hayley and Remus were sharing. “Don’t worry, Hails,” he said, draping his arm around her and subsequently nudging Remus’ out of the way. “I’ll make sure your birthday is one to remember.”
“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” she admitted, giving Sirius a look of annoyance.
“Aww, it’ll be a great day. Won’t it, Moony?” Sirius turned to his friend expectantly. Remus, however, was looking back at Sirius in horror. Anger and grief also made a momentary contribution to his features.
Sirius mentally kicked himself and sent an apologetic grimace Remus’ way. Sirius had totally forgotten that Hayley’s birthday fell on the night of the full moon. Therefore, as much as Remus may want to, he could not play a very big part in Hayley’s birthday celebrations. However, the biggest problem of all was that Remus (and probably at least one of the other Marauders along with him) would somehow have to escape the festivities without arousing too much suspicion from his beloved.
When Hayley went back to snuggling against Remus’ chest, Sirius mouthed an apology to Remus over the top of her head. Remus dismissed it with a sharp shake of his head and gave Sirius a terse smile. Remus’ features soon drooped though and he heaved a heavy sigh, leaving looks of sympathy and anger at Remus’ illness to pass between his friends.
The smell of sulphur filled the air as Hayley struck the match. She breathed it in, letting the smell take her back to the birthdays of her childhood. She cupped her hand around the thriving flame, shielding it from the February elements as she deposited it onto the remaining candlewick. She knew it would be much easier to use her wand but it just didn’t have the same affect.
She stood back and surveyed her handiwork. Three long, white candles adorned the small dining table that she had snuck up to the top of the Astronomy Tower “ no mean feat when Filch was on the prowl thanks to Sirius’ shenanigans of the day.
Hayley had been a fool to think that Sirius was going to let her birthday pass quietly. Every portrait she had walked passed that day had burst into a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’, but she had a feeling that this was more Remus’ doing than Sirius’; he was the man to go to for such spells after all. At lunchtime, a gigantic birthday cake adorned each house table “ and even the staff table. Dumbledore in particular commented on how tasty it was and personally wished Hayley a very happy birthday. Hayley was then left to marvel at how Sirius had managed to arrange it. She guessed that he must have somehow bribed the House-Elves, though she wasn’t exactly sure how, maybe he’d given them a ton of food for a change.
This was slightly hypocritical of her, Hayley knew, because in just a few short seconds she was going to venture down into the kitchens to forage for a meal for Remus and herself. She just hoped that Remus liked the romantic dinner she had planned. She loved her friends very much, but it was Remus who she wished to spend her birthday with. It was a beautiful night. The full moon shone brightly overhead and the stars twinkled inviting in a sky of black ink. Who could ask for a better ambiance?
Hayley checked her watch. She had a good twenty minutes until Remus was due to arrive. She didn’t have a chance to catch him alone all day, and when she had gone in search of him this evening it had been without success. Therefore, to save time and effort she had written a brief note to Remus explaining where he had to be and at what time.
With one last appraising glance back at her handiwork, Hayley skipped off down to the kitchens in search of as much food as she could carry.
Half an hour later, Hayley sat slumped down on her chair, sweating from the exertion involved in setting up her dinner for two. From the House-Elves, she had managed to procure two delicious dishes of homemade lasagne and garlic bread as well as a chocolate torte for dessert. It was a mouth-watering sight to say the least, and Hayley just couldn’t wait for Remus to arrive so that she could begin to indulge in depths of Italian goodness.
Remus was already ten minutes late, but Hayley could forgive that. After all, he was probably still fretting over his less than perfect Arithmancy essay.
Ten more minutes passed in which Hayley had already snuck two forkfuls of lasagne from her plate. It was so cold on top of the Astronomy Tower now that Hayley had her cardigan wrapped tightly around her. As well as that, Hayley found that her romantic setting had traitorously turned rather scary and unsettling. Dank grey clouds circled overhead and several dog howls pierced the air. The Whomping Willow creaked ominously and the lake was unnaturally still in the cold breeze.
Where’s Remus? The hope and desire of seeing him soon was the only thing that kept Hayley on her lonely perch atop of the tower.
Another hour past and midnight neared, and still Remus had not arrived. The dinner on the table was not the only thing that had gone cold, Hayley’s heart felt like it contained a dead weight and the shivers that wracked her body had nothing to do with the chilly night air.
How could Remus have deserted her like this?
Anger and disappointment flaring up within her chest, Hayley started to clear the table, working past the tears that blurred her vision.
It wasn’t until she entered the Gryffindor common room that Hayley allowed anger to become the dominant emotion. She practically shouted the password at the Fat Lady, not caring about how rude she was being.
She stormed through the chess games and discarded homework assignments that littered the floor and strode past the plush armchairs and up the staircase to the boys’ dormitories.
She couldn’t care less what various states of undress the boys were in, she was going in there and that was final. Hayley just hoped that she didn’t wake the whole of the dormitory up when she dragged Remus out of bed for a little chat; she could do without a scene, especially at such an ungodly hour.
However, all worries about causing a scene came to a clattering halt when Hayley laid eyes on the dormitory before her. Only one bed in the entire dormitory was occupied. And that bed belonged to Sam.
Hayley gazed uncomprehendingly at the four empty four-poster beds. Where on Earth are the Marauders? It was well past midnight by now and Hayley had never known them go wandering around the castle so long after curfew. What could they possibly be up to? she asked herself.
She walked over to Remus’ bed, worry for his wellbeing emerging within her, to find that it had not been slept in at all that night. In addition, when she allowed her eyes to roam upwards towards his pillow she saw, nestled innocently in the groove between pillow and bed cover, the note she had written to him.
Unsure of what to do Hayley backed out of the dormitory and headed down the stairs. She walked swiftly across the common room and when she was out of sight of the Fat Lady, she ran the full length of Hogwarts into the safety of the Ravenclaw common room and her very own bed.
Hayley was a muddle of emotions as she lay her head down on her pillow. She was upset and angry beyond belief that Remus hadn’t turned up to dinner, more so she was angry that he might have chosen to go gallivanting off with his fellow Marauders rather than celebrate her birthday with her. But now she was extremely worried. Where could Remus have possibly gone without informing me? Was he safe? Should I tell someone that they’re missing?
Just before sleep through sheer exhaustion threatened to carry Hayley away, however, she came to the settling conclusion that wherever Remus may be he would be safe in the arms of the Marauders. And also, if they were off pulling pranks no doubt she would be laughing at it along with Remus in the morning. Then she would tell him all about missing a romantic dinner, and he would be mortified. He’d then apologise and they’d do it again, and everything would return to its usual blissful state.
Hayley smiled slightly, finally finding peace at this thought, and drifted off to sleep.
Remus cursed silently as James bumped into the arm of the sofa and then subsequently bumped into Remus’ left side, sending shooting pains through Remus’ shoulder once more.
Last night’s full moon had been disastrous. It had been Remus’ worst transformation in months, and all four boys had suffered the consequences. It was safe to say that they had all looked a right sight rolling into Hogwarts at seven o’clock that morning. Remus had gained a gash along his left shoulder blade from the nighttime activities, Sirius sported a swollen lip, James a bruised jaw and Peter cradled bruised knuckles.
Unfortunately for the other three Marauders a trip to the Hospital Wing was out of the question and Remus had to hobble in to see Madam Pomfrey solo. Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey mended his ailments in a heartbeat (though his shoulder was still tender), and here they all were back in the common room at half past seven on the dot.
The only problem that faced all four Marauders now was how they were going to make it through the rest of the day. None of them had gained a wink of sleep last night and they resembled the living dead.
Well, that wasn’t exactly the only problem, as was proved mere moments after their arrival in the common room when a gaggling of giggling voices could be heard descending the girls’ staircase. Lily, Emma and Kirsty emerged before them, all looking sickeningly bright eyed and bushy tailed. All three girls stopped dead in their tracks, however, when they laid eyes on the Marauders tinged with black and blue.
“Merlin!” breathed Emma, stopping dead halfway down the staircase and leaving the other two to skirt around her in order to descend upon the boys.
“Are you okay?” demanded Lily, her voice an octave higher than usual as she perused James’ injuries in particular.
“Bad night?” asked Kirsty, concern etched into every line of her face.
Trust Kirsty to be able to sum something up in so few words, thought Remus admiringly.
“The worse one we’ve had for a while,” admitted Sirius with a terse smile. Seeming to act on impulse, Kirsty reassuringly laid her hand on his arm.
“Oh, Remus!” lamented Emma, coming to stand before him with pity in her eyes. Remus hated this part the most, he knew they were all worried about him, but he hated being pitied.
“We’re fine, honestly, guys,” said Peter. This comment was met by three highly sceptical looks from the girls’ direction. “Okay, maybe we’re not,” relented Peter, “but we will be.”
“Oh, I hate this,” wailed Lily.
“You hate this,” scoffed James. “I’d like to see you put up with having your arse kicked by a werewolf!”
“To be fair, Prongs, I think Moony could kick your arse regardless of which form he took.”
These comments, although not overly sensitive to Remus’ predicament, did help in lightening the mood a little, and for that Remus was grateful.
“Where’s Hayley?” Remus asked nonchalantly after a moment’s pause.
Lily’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know. We’ve not seen her yet this morning.”
“Oh,” said Remus, trying to act as if he wasn’t all too worried about his girlfriend’s whereabouts.
“Hmm, come to think of it,” added Emma, “she wasn’t around much last night either.”
“She wasn’t?” asked Remus, startled.
Emma shook her head. “We kept her upstairs in our dorm, like you said, until you lot had left for the Shrieking Shack and then she left saying she had something she had to do. We thought she just meant a piece of homework or something, but she never came back.”
“So she spent her birthday evening alone?” asked Peter, horrified. Remus squirmed with guilt at this remark. He should have been there with her, and oh how he wished he had of been.
“It looks like it,” replied Emma, her tone sombre.
“And you didn’t think to ask her where she was going?” demanded Remus, a bit annoyed at the girls’ flippancy regarding Hayley’s whereabouts on the night of a full moon.
“Well, no,” said Kirsty, surprise crossing her features at Remus’ sharp tone.
“Don’t you think it might have been a good piece of information to gain?” he asked her, unable to keep the patronising tone out of his voice.
“No,” said Kirsty slowly and clearly, looking a bit irked herself now. “What do you think she was going to trail you or”“
“No, I didn’t actually,” came an all too familiar voice from behind them as the portrait of the Fat Lady creaked shut. Horror flared up within Remus at what Hayley could have heard if she’d entered a few minutes earlier, but as he swung around to face her he tried his best to remove his face of all revealing emotions.
“But I really wish I had,” Hayley finished, an edginess to her voice.
“Hey,” said Remus breaking into a smile that felt so unnatural that it strained his face muscles. “Good morning.” He sidled over to Hayley, ignoring the slight throbbing in his shoulder, and leant towards her to plant a swift kiss on her cheek. However, the kiss never landed. Hayley turned her face away from him and Remus’ lips ended up nestled within her hair.
He pulled away to look at her in puzzlement and saw a face full of worry and hostility.
“Where were you last night?” asked Hayley, barring no punches and sounding very much like it had taken all of her courage to ask that one simple question.
Remus risked a swift, consulting glance behind him and saw his own feelings of dread reflected in the faces of his fellow Gryffindors.
Thinking on his feet, like all good Marauders did, Remus replied, “What makes you think we were out last night? The only thing we did last night was nip down to the kitchens while you were having your girly make-up session upstairs. And by the time we got back, you’d already gone back to your dorms, so we just caught an early night after that.”
Something dark, dangerous and previously unknown to Remus flashed within Hayley’s eyes, and when she next spoke, she sounded livid. “Oh really? Well, let me tell you that I too visited the kitchens last night, and you four were nowhere in sight. I also came to check on you at about one o’clock this morning, and the only person seemingly catching an early night in your dormitory was Sam.”
Remus felt as if a battering ram had just been launched at his stomach, and the room suddenly became filled with tension. “You were checking up on me?” he asked, what was supposed to be panic coming out like anger. “Why?” he demanded.
“Why?” repeated Hayley, the anger oozing from her mouth far outstripping Remus’ own. “Because fool that I am, Remus, I was actually worried about you!”
“But how would you know to be worried about me at that time in the morning? How would you even know to be worried?” Remus knew his voice was harsh, but somehow he couldn’t control it. His fear that his secret was about to be discovered by the one person that he felt the need to conceal it from was overriding everything else. He was like a Hungarian Horntail crouched down on her haunches before her nest of young. His secret must be guarded from Hayley at all costs. Moreover, he had to know how much she knew, and he had a feeling that by fuelling her anger he’d be much more likely to find it out.
However, Hayley’s anger had seemed to subside, and when she spoke her voice was choked. “Because I planned a romantic dinner for you and me last night. I left you a note telling you where to meet me and everything, and when you didn’t show I”“
“Came looking for me,” Remus finished for her. Remus had never imagined that one person could feel so wretched. This had been the exact reason why he had wanted to avoid dating Hayley, he would always be a disappointment to her, whether she knew about the wolf or not. He could just envisage her sat waiting for him all night, the dinner she had prepared going stone cold, and then to come looking for him to find him missing “ Oh God, what must she have thought? Remus could feel his eyes misting over, but he fought past it.
He knew that his first duty now must be to Hayley, and feeling that this was a conversation that very much needed to be had in privacy, Remus turned to his friends stood awkwardly in the middle of the common room and said, “Guys, do you think you could perhaps give us a minute?”
They were all too willing to oblige, and Remus couldn’t say that he blamed them for wanting to scarper. However, it was neither them nor Remus that had the final say in the matter.
“Stay right where you are!” snarled Hayley, looking past Remus to pin her fiery gaze on their friends instead.
The Marauders and girls stood stock still, withering slightly under Hayley’s ferocious gaze, and seeming to know that they were the next ones to experience her wrath.
“Hayley, I’m sorry,” began Remus, knowing that such words were useless in this situation, but they were the only thing he had to offer.
“I don’t want an apology, Remus,” said Hayley in exasperation, bringing her hand up to clamp down over her eyes. When she emerged again, she pinned Remus with a beseeching look. “I want an explanation. Tell me where you were last night.”
Remus looked up, intent on staring Hayley defiantly in the eye, but as soon as he gazed into their pale blue depths, he knew it was a mistake. Wishing he could tell her everything, but his pride and fear disallowing it, he said, “I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” asked Hayley, her eyes boring into his, seeming to try and draw his secret out from within his very soul.
Remus floundered at a loss for what to say next. For the next few seconds he simply stood there, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.
“Come on, Remus!” commanded Hayley. “At least have the decency to tell me why it is that those lot”“ she struck out her hand to point in the direction of their friends, “can know what’s going on and I, your girlfriend the seemingly most important person in your life, can’t!”
“What?” asked Remus sharply, incredulous as to how she knew that the Marauders and three girls were in on something that she wasn’t.
“Oh please, Remus,” began Hayley letting out a mirthless laugh. “Do you think I don’t notice the startled looks and hushed, secretive comments that pass between you? Do you think I am blind to the fact that you and the Marauders are partial to unexplainable experiences? I am not stupid, Remus, nor am I prepared to remain in the dark…” Here she faltered, a change had occurred in her demeanour, a change she had seemingly been trying to fight. Tears sprung up bright and fresh under her eyelids and Remus felt his stomach fall into oblivion. “So please, Remus, why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
Remus knew that this was the moment for him to tell her everything, the moment for their relationship to sink or swim. Could she really hate him any more than she did right now? Yes. There it was, the defining moment, he knew now what he was going to do. Despite the fact that Hayley was the most understanding person in the world, he couldn’t tell her what he was. He couldn’t put her in danger. If he told her, she might accept him, but if she accepted him then Remus would be allowing her to put herself in danger. And that was something he just couldn’t allow.
He realised then that he’d been waiting for this moment ever since he had started dating Hayley. He’d always known it was temporary. As soon as the time arose to divulge his secret, he had known that he would scarper. He loved Hayley and she’d given him the best gift he could have ever asked for “ a few months by her side as her boyfriend. Now it was time to say goodbye.
He had to gather up all of his strength just to be able to look at her beautiful face as he gave the reply that would destroy her. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying.
Drawing a deep breath he said, “Because I don’t want to.”
He could virtually feel the shocked intake of breath from the group behind him as he dealt the blow.
Hayley’s eyes swam in depths of tears as the waterfall began its cascade down her face. She looked at him in immense disbelief. This was not the Remus she knew and he knew it too.
“I’m done,” she announced, her voice squeaky and her bottom lip trembling wildly the whole time. “We’re done.” And with that, she turned on her heel and walked out of Remus’ life.
Tears streaming down his own face in imitation of Hayley’s, Remus turned around and came face to face with seven very shocked faces. Far beyond having the courage to deal with them at that moment, Remus exclaimed in a breath of hot anger, “Don’t say a word, none of you!”
Then his hammering heart matching his hammering footsteps he dashed up the boys’ staircase, the last thing he heard before slamming the door shut being Emma’s incomparably accurate statement of, “Shit.”