Chapter 10: Chasing a Dream
No one in the Gryffindor Common room surfaced the next morning until after eleven o’clock. It had been a long night, with most students trailing off to bed in the early hours of the morning.
James was the first to wake in his dormitory. He sleepily sat up and looked round the room. Everyone was deep asleep, and Sirius was snoring. He had had a great time with Ellie, dancing all night, until they were practically forced off the dance floor by McGonagall.
James sank back into his bed, not quite sure what he had dreamed during his sleep, and what had actually happened last night with Lily.
He was sure she had kissed him. That part he remembered perfectly, and it was so clear in his mind that it couldn’t possibly have been a dream. However, he had a strange feeling she had then run away. That had puzzled him. He didn’t see Lily for the rest of the night, but spent it laughing away with his friends and dancing like there was no tomorrow. But then his memory went foggy, and all he remembered was chasing Lily round the castle, which didn’t make any sense. He would almost be level with her, until suddenly she would whip round a corner and out of his sight. Sirius, Remus and Peter kept appearing to tell him which way she had run off to, and every time he had followed their advice, only to find himself at a dead end.
Once he had woken up properly, James realised this last part had been in his dream, and probably had occurred in his thoughts because he had not seen Lily the rest of the night. She really had disappeared. James supposed she had been embarrassed at her spontaneous actions. He remembered the kiss, and smiled despite himself. Sinking back into his pillows, he relived it over and over, not yet ready to surrender the warmth that was spreading through him at the thought of it.
It was some time later that the others began to wake. Remus stood groggily and stretched. “Morning, Prongs,” he said, yawning. “What time is it?”
“Quarter past eleven.”
“So we missed breakfast?”
“Yeah, but it’s lunch soon!”
“What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing…”
Something soft hit the side of James’s face. “Ow!”
He turned to find Sirius smiling at him. “Don’t give us ‘nothing’! You were on top form last night! What happened?”
“Nothing!” he repeated, but the blush on his face and the smile that escaped him gave him away.
“Ok fine… something happened with Evans.”
The others looked at him. “What happened?” they said in unison.
“We kissed.”
“You what?!” Sirius asked, shock clear on his face. “How on earth did you manage that?”
“Oh thanks for the vote of confidence!”
Remus sat on the end of his bed. “Well, all I can say, Prongs, is you are living proof that persistence pays. You found out the hard way, I guess.”
“There was an easy way? You’re kidding!”
They all laughed.
“So what happened next?”
James sighed. “Don’t laugh-“
“Would we?” Sirius asked innocently.
“She ran away.”
“Oh, nice move, Prongs! You go for the kill, and she runs away! And I thought you had got her!”
“That’s the thing, I didn’t go for the kill… she did.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Evans kissed you? And then ran away?”
James nodded.
“Man, girls are weird.”
“That’s what I said!”
James’s task for the rest of the day was to find Lily and ask her what had happened. It proved to be harder than he had expected. Every time he saw her, he found he didn’t have it in him to get up the courage and talk to her. Why was this so difficult? He talked to Lily Evans every single day! He found her in the library mid-afternoon, talking with some of her friends, but just as he was about to walk up to her, his stomach did a back-flip and he chickened out. Cursing himself, he pulled out a random book off the shelves to excuse his presence in the library to curious faces from Third Years who had clearly never seen James step foot in the library before.
Things were not going well. There was no reason but cowardice for not talking to Lily. He sat at the other end of the table to her at supper, and every time one of the Marauders told him to “get a move on!” he would answer: “I’m going to!” and change the subject.
Later that evening, he found Sirius and Ellie sitting by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common room. They looked fairly cosy.
“How did it go?” Sirius asked as James approached.
James shook his head despondently.
“You still haven’t done it? Get a move on, mate, we’re not getting any younger here.”
Ellie looked up. “Are you looking for Lily?” James nodded. “She’s over there in that corner with Yves.”
James looked over to where she was pointing, and sure enough, there sat Lily Evans, deep in discussion with Yves. He took a deep breath. It was now or never.
“Good luck, Prongsie,” Sirius said.
He walked over and stood behind her. Yves spotted him and stopped talking, which made Lily look around.
She turned red. “Oh, hi, James,” she said. “You, uh, alright?”
“Yeah, great. Listen Lily, can I have a word?’ He looked to Yves. “In private?”
She turned to her friend, who gave a ‘do-what-you-like’ look.
“Sure.”
They exited the common room and found an empty classroom, a deadly silence between them.
James closed the door and looked at Lily. ‘This is really hard’, is all he remembered thinking, before he blurted: “Why did you kiss me?”
Lily blushed and looked at the floor. When she spoke, however, it was with a calm, cool voice. “I would have thought you would be pleased, Potter.”
She looked up again.
James blinked. “Well, yeah, but that’s not the point. I want to know why.”
“What for? Can’t you just leave it? It’s not that big a deal, you know, people do it all the time.”
“It is for me! And you know perfectly well why, Lily. I spill my guts out to you, you kiss me, then run away and act like it doesn’t matter!”
“I only ran away because I was embarrassed!” This was becoming a heated discussion.
“Embarrassed about what? That I told you I loved you?”
“You can’t possibly have meant that, Potter.”
“I did! And I’ll say it again if you like: I love you Lily Evans!”
She looked like she was about to say something, then thought the better of it. It was a few moments before she spoke, making James sweat thinking he had pushed too far.
“You want to know why I kissed you last night?” she asked.
He nodded, not trusting himself to speak again.
“When I asked you to the Feast, it was because I wanted to know what it would be like to actually go on a date with James Potter, the boy who had been after me for years and years, even before I was even interested in boys myself. So I asked you to take me. And you know what? You actually surprised me. I had so much fun that I was scared of what I was letting myself in for. So when we went for that walk, and you asked me why I had gone with you that night, I told myself to go with my instincts. And my instincts told me to kiss you. So I did.”
James stared. “So, once you did, you came back to earth and realised what a prat you had been? That’s why you ran?”
“No, I told you. I ran because I was embarrassed. About letting myself get carried away.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I’m still not sure how I feel about you, Potter.”
“How long does it take to decide how you feel about me? I’ve only given you six and a half years to think about it!”
“Don’t get cocky, I hate it when you’re cocky.”
“What don’t you hate about me?”
“Recently, lots of things. I don’t go around kissing random boys, you know.”
“Then I don’t get it!”
“You don’t have to get it, and you probably never will get it. As long as you know that I had a great night and thought I’d end it nicely. I obviously screwed that one up.”
“Well I don’t know about you, but I certainly enjoyed that kiss.”
They both smiled bashfully.
“So, how shall we end this?” Lily asked.
“End it?”
“The conversation, I mean.”
“Oh. Well, uh, can you sum up? I’m still a bit confused.”
Lily sighed. “Don’t make me say it all again!”
“Just the key points!”
“There’s only one. It’s hard to say this, and I probably shouldn’t, but…” she stopped.
“But?”
“I really like you. A lot. Only don’t go getting too cocky about it, ok?”
He smiled. “I promise.”
Lily bit her lip.
So,” James said, “where do we go from here? Did I finally get you on side?”
“You might have. Try convincing me.”
“How?”
She raised her eyes.
“Oh,” was all James said, before he leant in and kissed her. He was ready for it this time, and it felt even better than before. It felt right.
Love Conquers by dumbly_dorr
Chapter Notes: It's the day after the Feast, and James has a hard time finding the nerve to talk to Lily about what happened. Will his dream finally come true?