I closed the curtains around my bed, not wanting to talk to the other Marauders. I wasn’t angry with them. It wasn’t their fault that I didn’t realise Evans would be coming over to yell and didn’t flee with them. I had the opportunity.
No, it was Evans I was furious with. She thought that she was the queen of the world and everyone would succumb to her. I wouldn’t succumb to her though. I would never succumb to the likes of Lily Evans.
Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail must have heard our shouts because they didn’t bother me. They must have known how irate I was. And around eleven, I could hear their snores. But sleep didn’t come to me so easily. I was too outraged.
At around twelve, after two and a half hours of lying in bed, I rose. It wasn’t the anger that was keeping me awake so much. I got over things quickly. I was just restless. It was a strange feeling in my stomach when I pictured Lily Evans in my mind; it wasn’t just rage. It was confusion; I just didn’t understand the girl. Norah, on the other hand, was easy to understand. She was straightforward, affable, and fun to be around. I mean, I had heard Lily Evans was all of those things, but I had never personally experienced it.
I draped my invisibility cloak over myself and put on my trainers with a bit of difficulty. I was just going to go for a walk around the castle or the lake. I loved winter.
I felt my way through the darkness and out of the dorm. I have to say, it felt nice to stretch my legs after two hours of being confined to bed.
The common room was quiet. There were only four people still there. Lily Evans and Aletta, who was apparently out of the Hospital Wing, were sitting on a couch. Another person was at a table finishing homework, while another was passed out in a chair.
I turned my attention to Evans and her friend. She was wearing plaid pyjama pants and a sweatshirt. Her red hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she had glasses on. I didn’t know Lily Evans wore glasses at night, or whenever she wore them. Had I just never noticed or had she never worn them?
I’ve always had a strange interest in glasses. I’ve had them for as long as I can remember; some days I think I came out of the womb with them on. So seeing Evans in them had been odd. Her glasses were stylish with thick, navy frames that were square-shaped. If it had not been Lily Evans, I would have thought she looked cute.
I found myself wondering if Evans was mean to her friends. Probably not, but you never know. Sometimes fear can be a means of friendship.
It was at that point did it hit me hard that I knew nothing of her. In a way, she was a mystery. Aside from her cruel exterior and smug manner, was she anything else? What was Evans’ family like? What did she like to do? Could there be more to her? A different side, possibly?
So I took a seat. It was close enough to hear their conversation, but far enough so I wasn’t breathing down their necks.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Aletta said comfortingly.
Evans was biting her lip, like it was helping her fight back tears. “He was right though! I’m terrible. I don’t mean to seem so angry and bitter. It’s just,” her lip quivered, “it’s getting worse,” she whispered, tears falling from her eyes. “And he reminds me so much of him.”
I watched curiously. What was getting worse? Who reminds her and of what? Aletta must have known, because she was consoling a sobbing Lily Evans.
“Every letter,” she said between sobs. Aletta’s shoulder was now wet with salty tears. “I don’t know what to do.”
Aletta didn’t say anything for a moment. “It’ll get better,” she finally said firmly. Lily nodded like a small child. She almost looked like one. Her green eyes were large and innocent; they were lost and unsure.
It was a side of Lily Evans I had never seen. She was helpless. Lily Evans was vulnerable and that wasn’t her. I never thought that there was something that could be wrong at her home. I have to say, the idea of a different Lily Evans intrigued me. I had been so quick to judge her; I didn’t consider possibilities other than she was a hotheaded fiend.
I felt sorry for Lily. Something was really eating away at her. I just didn’t know what it was.
She stared into the dying flames of the fire for a long time. And I stared at her. Her face was pale and her eyes tired. The rest of my anger toward her faded. How could I still be angry with her? Maybe I had deserved what she said; it was probably all true anyway.
After about twenty minutes, Aletta headed to bed, but Lily did not.
She just looked into the fire, silent tears trickling down her face every so often. I felt awful, even if the problem was probably something stupid, like her Muggle boyfriend was going to dump her.
It was a new feeling for me. I had never felt pity for Lily Evans. She was usually so together, so cool and collected that there was no reason to feel sorry for her. But then again, I never really felt pity for anyone. Compassion wasn’t something I had yet.
I didn’t find compassion that night, but I did learn something. I learned that, most of the time, you never really know a person. I mean, I thought I had known Lily for five years, but I didn’t know a thing about her. Whatever is on the surface can be an illusion. Lily Evans did have a cover up.
*
The next morning, I went to breakfast on time. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t sleep. So I sat with Remus and Peter, who were usually up a bit earlier than Sirius and me. Actually, Sirius was probably just waking up.
I remembered Lily Evans from the previous night perfectly and was slightly fascinated. I forgot all about our row. Well, that was until I noticed Lily Evans sitting across from me.
“Potter,” she said curtly. I came back to the world from space and looked at her. She let out a sigh. “I’m sorry,” she said honestly, with a softer tone.
“What?” I asked blankly. After I saw the other side of her, her apology didn’t surprise me too much, but it certainly was still unexpected. Lily Evans apologizing to James Potter? It wasn’t something I was accustomed to.
“I wanted to apologize. What I said was a bit out of line, although not completely untrue.”
I studied her face for a moment. She had perfect skin, with the exception of a few light freckles on her nose and a nice mouth. A nice mouth? What was I thinking? Lily Evans didn’t have a nice mouth!
My eyes reached her own. They seemed sorry but still proud.
“Man, Evans, you really know how to give a great apology,” I said sarcastically. I hadn’t completely forgiven her. “I’m really sorry. But all of those awful things I said to you, well, they weren’t so untrue,” I said, in a voice not unlike her own. Lily smiled and let out a laugh.
“Sorry,” she said truthfully. “I’m not the best at this. I don’t often apologize, and those things just came out.” I gave a nod and grinned.
Maybe Lily wasn’t so bad.
“I’m sorry too.” She looked at me for a moment, the same way I had looked at her. It was the look of seeing someone for the first time.
She gave a nod. “Accepted,” she said brightly. “See you, I suppose.” And she was gone. She baffled me. But I didn’t have time to ponder it, for Norah came up behind me and kissed my cheek.
“Hi, baby,” she said happily.
“Hi,” I answered, quite cheery myself.
“How are you this morning?” she asked with a smile, taking a seat next to me. Norah had a beautiful smile. I always loved it. I always loved Norah.
“Better now,” I responded, putting my arm around her shoulder and giving her a quick kiss. She grinned happily.
“I heard what happened in the common room last night,” she stated, taking some food.
“Yeah,” I replied. “It’s okay though. Lily Evans and I are fine. We both apologized,” I said affirmatively. Norah beamed, a wide smile on her face.
“Good!” she cried. I tilted my head inquiringly. “I mean “ it’s a relief. Lily is my friend and you hating her really put a damper on our relationship.”
I knew Lily and Norah were somewhat friends. They shared a dorm, and I assumed that it had been more difficult since Lily and I didn’t get along. I never really knew that Norah was hoping we would make amends because it was that big of a deal though. Maybe I would make more of an effort in the future for Norah. I felt as though it would be easier to be friendly with Lily now. Well, maybe not friendly. James Potter and Lily Evans would never be friends. But I could try harder, though only if Lily Evans did too …
“She hates me too,” I said as an afterthought, not sure if it was ‘hated’ or ‘hates’.
“She never hated you, James,” Norah answered, seeming very chipper.
I didn’t know if I believed that one…
Light Up My Life by KASK
Chapter Notes: Thank you, Preethi!
This chapter is Change Your Mind by Sister Hazel. It's an awesome song. The lyrics are great.
I hope you all like this chapter. The plot is a'twisting and it should be getting a bit more interesting. Tell me what you think!