I belong in the service of the queen.
I belong anywhere but in between.
Sheâs been crying; Iâve been thinking.
And I am the rain king.
--Counting Crows, Rain King
âProngs! JAMES!â There was a dull roar of commotion around me â“ the light blinding my eyes, Sirius scrambling for his books, Remus drying his wet hair.
âWhat â“ â I began groggily.
âWeâre late! Care of Magical â“ seven minutes!â There was an air of urgency in Siriusâ voice as he sniffed a shirt, shrugged, and pulled it over his head. I laughed to myself, knowing that if Sirius was late, itâd be his third strike and heâd get a detention. Usually this wouldnât faze any of us, but Sirius really hated Care of Magical Creature detentions. He figured that the bites and scratches, burns and fatigue were not worth being late the third time. In five years, Kettleburn was the only teacher to instill that in Sirius.
âDamn,â I swore under my breath, climbing out of bed. There was no way Iâd make it. âIâm just gonna skip⌠tell Kettleburn that Iâm sick and tell Norah that Iâll see her later.â
The second after I said it, I was glad I did. It was raining pellets out. There was even a clap of thunder in the distance. I didnât want to have to walk through that. Besides, why wasnât it snowing? Stupid weather.
Remus nodded, grabbing his bag and following Peter out the door. After seeing Remus disappear through the door, I sank back into my bed â“ my cold bed. That was one thing I hated. How when I got out of bed, even for a few minutes, itâd never be the same when I crawled back in. The warmth would always slip away into the air, and the dent that cradled my head would disappear. Why couldnât I be able to get into the same comfortable spot? Why couldnât the bed just stay molded to my body? I never knew.
I thought about this for a while and realized that it wasnât always bad. It was not bad when, upon re-entering bed, a better position was found or more warmth was created. When I found that I was happier on my stomach than on my back was when I was glad that the bed wasnât molded. Nothing should be set in stone like that. Youâd never know what you were missing if something better never came along. I would eventually learn to think of life like that.
About twenty minutes later, I heard footsteps coming toward the door of our dormitory. My eyes snapped shut, thinking someone was sent to check on me. I wish I could have said it was out of concern, but it wouldnât have been. It wouldâve been because âJames Potterâ and âsickâ went together a little too often.
Honestly, I never got sick. I was the healthiest student in the school. Healthy as a thestral, I liked to say. So I figured, because I was never sick, I deserved a few sick days. I mean, other kids got to miss class when they were feeling under the weather. Why shouldnât I? It wasnât fair to deny me that, just because I was blessed with a strong immune system.
But it sounded more than the nurse coming to take a peek at my health status. There were a lot of footsteps. Angry footsteps.
The door burst open.
Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail piled into the room, each wearing a disgruntled look.
I sat up in bed, surveying each of their angry faces.
âWhat happened? Kettleburn put that spell on so you couldnât hear the lesson again?â I asked, laughing a little bit. They didnât laugh though. Boy, were their knickers in a twist!
âWhatâs the date?â Sirius asked, mouth tight.
âHell if I know. December seventeenth, I think.â
âExactly!â He threw a finger into the air. âSaturday, December seventeenth.â
Another look at their frustrated faces and I was sent over the edge.
âItâs not funny!â Remus threw a pillow at me.
I fell back into bed, clutching my stomach and barely able to breathe. It wasnât just the situation; it was the whole thing. From them waking me and rushing out the door to their stone faces and their sopping clothes and hair. It was hilarious.
âWell, while youâre having a right laugh at our expense, Iâm going back to sleep.â Sirius dried himself with a wave of his wand and dramatically crawled into bed, mumbling something about pneumonia. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep too, but in the end opted for a shower.
The floor was cool on my bare feet, causing goosebumps to erupt on my arms. I walked groggily, the room dark from the closed curtains and grayness of the rain. So groggily that I didnât even know what hit me until I was on the ground, back aching from the impact.
I lucked out of the rain, but of course, I got an effect of it. Sirius, Remus and Peter left their puddles on the ground and I just happened to walk through one of them and slip. With a mingle of laughter and groaning, I struggled to rise, finding that if I move a certain way, my back would pound.
But after about a minute, I was up, rubbing my tender back but continuing my journey to the bathroom.
Like a phoenix, I thought smugly, reveling in my own strength.
And a minute later, I was in the shower, pulsations of pain through my body gradually decreasing. As the steam filled the shower, warm water soothing my muscles, my mind began to drift.
In five days, I was going to be on the train home. Call me a Seer, but I knew exactly how it was going to go. My mum would pick me up at the train station right on time, ecstatic to see me, and full of all sorts of questions about my life, from school to my friends to Norah. Then sheâd ask me what I wanted for dinner. Anything in the whole wide world, sheâd say. And when Iâd answer, sheâd wink and say that it was already on the stove.
It got a little bit trickier when I tried to imagine my arrival at home. I knew my father, so I knew that heâd bring it up. When was the question. Maybe the day after I arrived. Yes, that made sense. Heâd call me into his office ask me about my plans. And, of course, I would tell him. Iâd tell him that I had the same plan as the last time we spoke, that I had always had that plan, that I would always have that plan. He would stare at me for a moment, sizing me up, and like clockwork, his eyebrows would furrow together. Heâd ask me why I didnât want anything real, why I couldnât be more like him. Heâd tell me that he loved me and he only wanted what was best. And my plans werenât best.
Then I would shrug with the knowledge that indifference drives him crazy. Be this or be that, pick a side and stand for it. Whether itâs right or wrong, it doesnât matter, as long as itâs what you believe in. Donât just be in the middle, thinking you can go onto the winning one when itâs all done, was what my father always said.
Heâd get angrier and I would too. So Iâd slam the door of his office, wondering why he never thought about what I wanted. And as soon as I would leave, he would wonder why his son wasnât more sensible.
That was the way our recent outbreak of fights had been anyway, so I figured the one coming would be the same.
I turned up the water, not wanting to think about my father, not wanting to think about much of anything.
Sirius, Peter and Remus were fast asleep when I got out of the shower, careful to look where I stepped. I played with the idea of shaking my wet head off on Sirius, but decided against it. I didnât feel like opening that can of worms. I loved to prank people, but us against them. Us against us never worked. We knew each otherâs tricks too well so it wasnât as fun. It was the four of us against everyone else. That was the way we all liked it.
I dressed quickly, hoping to do a little flying after breakfast. So I sped down the stairs into the common room with my broom, ready to run to the Great Hall to grab something to eat. It wasnât until I heard the angry grumble of thunder did I remember the weather. I didnât mind flying in the cold or the rain, but flying in rain with a temperature just above freezing didnât appeal to me. Well, not that day, at least.
Not as eager to eat, I sunk into a chair, rerouting my day. I needed a pick-me-up, something to raise my spirits. The worst part was that, for me, it was flying. When I flew, I was on top of the world (literally too, I suppose). There was nothing like it. Well, except pranking⌠Smiling, I knew what I needed ⓠa good laugh. After all, break was in a few days and I wanted to go off with a boom.
Feeling better at the prospect of a good prank (hopefully on Snape), I bounded off to breakfast, planning on consulting Sirius, Remus and Peter when I returnedâŚif they were up yet.
âUgly day out.â
I grimaced as a loud clap of thunder echoed through the Great Hall. I could care less about the weather, with two exceptions. One, when it interfered with Quidditch or flying, and two, when it interrupted my breakfast. This storm had done both that day. Therefore, I could not overlook it.
âIâm glad I donât have to go out in it.â
I saw Norah frown out of the corner of my eye.
âArenât we going to Hogsmeade?â she asked, and I could hear her spirits drop.
Damn. Hogsmeade. It was announced about two weeks ago and Norah asked me if I wanted to go. Of course, I had completely forgotten.
âI â“ itâs terrible out, Norah. I really donât â“ â I took in a breath. At my words, her face visibly fell.
âI just thought itâd be fun, to spend the day together.â She shrugged. âIt seems like weâve just been passing by each other lately. And I still have to get a Christmas present for my motherâŚâ
I hated seeing her so disappointed. It made me uneasy, it really did, but seeing that heavy rain did too. I really did not want to walk to Hogsmeade and then walk around Hogsmeade in that, especially to search for a present for Norahâs mother. That would take forever.
And then there was the prank. How would we plan it if I were stuck in Hogsmeade? The whole situation was just lose-lose.
âItâs fine, James. You donât have to. Iâll just go by myself.â She turned away from me.
âAre you sure?â I asked, knowing it wasnât fine but wanting to play dumb to evade having to go.
She just nodded, still not looking in my direction. Having won a small victory, I kissed her cheek. âYouâre wonderful.â
I got up to head back to the common room, and when I did, I met Lily Evansâ eyes. She had been watching and listening to the whole conversation.
When I returned, Remus, Peter and Sirius were still asleep, something I expected. So I went to the common room to sit in a squashy chair, maybe read or doze off or something.
I closed my eyes and rested my head against the chair; the thump, thump, thump of the rain on the castle provided a lullaby and I began to drift.
âJames. JAMES!â I practically jumped out of the chair. One second it was the warmth of the fire and the rhythm of the rain, the next, screaming in my ear.
âWhat?â What did Norah want now?
âYou donât want to come to Hogsmeade because you want to sleep in a chair?â
What was her problem?
âNo, I donât want to go to Hogsmeade because itâs raining like hell out there,â I responded, gathering my thoughts after my abrupt awakening. The rain was a perfectly sensible reason to not want to go to Hogsmeade with her. Why couldnât she see that?
âI was talking to one of my roommates, and she brought up a very good point, you promised me youâd go. When someone says theyâll do something, they should do it! I mean, itâs just a little rain. You wonât die or melt or anything if you go out there. Youâve played Quidditch in much worse weather!â
âThatâs completely different, Norah. I donât have a choice with Quidditch. And I promised before I knew it was going to be miserable out.â
As I spoke to Norah, my head began to pound. My blood began to rush; I could feel it pulsing through my ears, anger seeping through my veins. There was nothing like a good argument, one to really keep me sharp. I usually left that to Evans, since Norah and I barely ever fought. She was very non-confrontational.
Evans.
I jumped out of my seat, disliking the power Norah had by looking down at me and yelling.
âAnd which âroommateâ were you talking to? Lily Evans?â Of course it was. I knew Evans. Even when we had a truce, she wanted to cause problems.
Norahâs face turned red. âWhat does it matter?â she asked, her voice a little less sure.
âWhat does it matter?â I exploded, hands flying outward. âShe hates me! She just wants to cause problems between us!â I didnât actually think this was true. I was pretty sure she didnât hate me anymore, but it sounded better. Blame it all on Lily being ridiculous and wanting to sabotage my relationship. In honesty, I didnât want to fight with Norah. I didnât like to fight with her. It wasnât the same as fighting with Lily or Snape. Seeing Norah looking angry and yelling just rubbed me the wrong way.
âDonât start this, James. This is probably news for you, but Lilyâs life does not revolve around ruining yours. And what was with all the crap about you and Lily âmaking peaceâ and how youâre friends now? I guess it was just a lie!â
I closed my eyes, head still aching.
âIâll go,â I said through clenched teeth. âI will go to Hogsmeade with you, Norah.â
When I opened my eyes, her hands were folded defensively in front of her and her mouth was a thin line.
âDonât go if you donât want to, James,â her voice was dangerous. I looked at her for a moment, and decided that she looked cute angry.
âI want to,â I said, much softer, walking toward her a little bit. âCome here,â I whispered, pulling her close to me. Merlin, I loved her.
âReady?â Norah asked, holding her hand out to me. I nodded, taking it, and bracing myself to walk outside. The rain had lightened a bit, so that was a positive.
âHere,â she said, handing me a green umbrella. âGood idea, right?â
I smiled, pulling out my wand instead of taking the umbrella she offered.
âEngorgio,â I muttered, pointing my wand at the umbrella.
âThat was a good idea,â Norah smiled as I opened the umbrella, which would now ensure not a drop of rain touched us. She comfortably settled by my side and we began the long walk to the village.
Not many people were going, a few couples and a few groups of friends. Only the brave or the extreme last-minute shoppers ventured out. Well, and me. I wasnât being brave by going and I didnât have anymore shopping to do. I was just being forced.
I kept my eyes on the ground, hoping to avoid stepping in the pool-like puddles of water. So it wasnât until I saw their feet did I notice there were two people walking in front of us. And it wasnât until they raised their voices could I hear them over the pattering of the rain.
âHeâs an idiot, Lily. A Hufflepuff Mudâ“ idiot. Why donât you just date Potter or Black? This guy is just as bad as them. Heâs a sod-head.â
I looked up at the sound of my name, which was spat out. It disgusted me to even hear my strong, dignified last name on Snapeâs lips, who, by the way, was the real sod-head. My fist curled around the umbrella and I opened my mouth, ready to teach him a lesson, when I stopped myself. I wanted to hear their conversation more than I wanted to crush Snapeâs ugly face in. And that was saying something, because I honestly hated Snape more than any other person in the world.
Lily turned on Severus quickly, her dry hair flying over one shoulder. How was her hair dry? Then I remembered, this was the talented Lily Evans. Of course she would know a spell, something that never even occurred to me.
âEveryone is an âidiotâ compared to you, huh, Severus? Why do you even care who I date? Itâs none of your business.â I couldnât see her eyes through the rain, but I imagined them. They were probably flashing emeralds, the way she would look at me.
He was gaping for words and I loved to see him squirm. At least Lily could put him in his place.
âI-I just look out for you, Lily,â Snape said. I wanted to laugh out loud. Look out for her? Yeah, right. He liked her and he wanted her all to himself. He didnât want her to date some guy. And, for the first time in my life, I could actually see where Severus Snape was coming from.
âLook out for me?â she exploded, something I had witnessed so many times. âBy calling perfectly-nice boys âMudbloodsâ?â Snapeâs face whitened and I was completely gleeful. âYes, I heard what you were going to say. And bringing Potter and Black up? Why would you even mention them?â
âIâve told you a hundred times! Potter fancies you! Why donât you believe me?â
At this point, Norah looked at me strangely. I guess she was listening too. I smiled and shook my head. Snape was obviously off his rocker, no surprise to meâŚthe little freak.
âHey, Snape.â He was obviously so stupid that he didnât notice us walking behind him. Surprised, he turned around.
âShe finds it hard to believe because James is holding his girlfriendâs hand right now,â Norah called over the rain, laughing a little. I lifted our linked hands, beginning to laugh too. That look on Snapeâs face, oh, it was priceless. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it after a few seconds. His hair and face were dripping from the rain. Obviously, Lily didnât teach him the spell. His face was red and looked strangled, like he wanted to retort so badly but had nothing to sayâŚthat was a first.
Instead, he glared at me for a moment, something I returned with a smile. âIâll talk to you later, Lily,â he choked out and then sped up his walking and disappeared.
âWell, at least he got a shower,â I said, rather loudly, hoping he could hear me. Norah laughed a little, and to my surprise, so did Lily. She fell into step with us, her body still repelling the rain. Norah linked arms with her. Apparently, they were friends?
âHonestly, Lil, I donât know why you talk to Snape. Mary and I were talking, and heâs really no good for you.â
Lily just shrugged, catching my eye. Norah didnât even notice that our eyes were locked.
â...But you and Evander, donât let Snape get in the way. You two are perfect together, right James?â
I looked at Lily for another second, her green eyesâŚher red hairâŚthe way she looked back at me, like she could read every thought going through my head. I couldnât answer Norahâs question, so I looked away, still feeling Lilyâs eyes on me and wondering if Norah noticed anything, hoping she didnât.
Norah and Lily continued to talk while I watched the rain descend from the sky and splash onto the ground, wondering what I really felt for Norah or Lily.