“What the hell is going on?� Harry demanded, his voice sounding strangely high pitched. They were all in complete shock and they couldn’t take their eyes off her. Holly was instantly totally awake, and she sat up, halfheartedly glancing at the mirror as she did so. Then she turned back to the others, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. It was just as she had expected, like it always was. She closed her eyes for a second and sighed.

 

“Holly, if that’s your real name, explain what is going on before we curse you into oblivion!� Ginny said heatedly. Holly flinched at her tone of voice, but didn’t move.

 

“Okay, as you now all know, I haven’t told you everything-� Holly started, only to be interrupted by a scoffing noise coming from an angry looking Ron.

 

“Let me finish!� Holly snapped as she pushed the bedcover off herself and sat up a little better. Instantly, she regretted snapping. She could still feel herself trembling slightly from the nightmare, but she forced herself not to think about it, to concentrate on the four very suspicious people standing around her.

 

“Don’t talk to Ron like that!� Hermione objected angrily, pointing her wand at Holly threateningly. Holly didn’t flinch, or even look at it, but dropped her gaze onto her bed sheet as she thought about what she would say next, trying to calm herself down a bit by concentrating on her breathing.

 

“Okay … I’ll explain. I’m a Metamorphmagus,� Holly said, looking up from her bed as she tried to keep her voice as even as possible. She bit her lip before adding, “But then again, I think you all got that. The reason why I didn’t tell you is that it would be another reason not to trust me.�

 

“How can we know what you really look like?  You could be just posing as someone else!� Ron exclaimed, glaring and leaning slightly away from her as if she would attack them at any moment.

 

“That’s exactly my point!�

 

Holly started to run her fingers through her hair, which she then remembered she needed to alter. Somehow, her features had started to merge with Jake’s. Her hair was much darker than before, and it was starting to shrink towards her scalp and her eyes were starting to melt into an ocean colour. Whenever she experienced those dreams, she lost control of her powers. It was something she really needed to get the hang of.

 

Blinking, she shifted her features back to her usual blue eyes and brown hair. She kept her eyes away from the people around her, she didn’t want to see the suspicion and the fury in their eyes. Just then, an idea struck her.

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t Death Eaters’ and other evil people’s Patronus’ usually some sort of evil creature, to reflect on their nature?� Holly asked, directing her question mainly at Hermione, who was looking at her reproachfully, her wand was still pointed at Holly.

 

“Well … yes,� Hermione said, not entirely sure where she was going with that.

 

“Explains why Wormtail’s was a rat then,� Harry muttered under his breath, watching Holly with narrowed eyes. He too had his wand in his hand and pointing at Holly.

 

“So what if I were to show you my Patronus, and you would see it’s not an evil one and maybe believe me?� Holly asked, her eyes flitting to from Ron, to Hermione, to Ginny, and finally Harry.

 

“What have we got to lose?� Ron said, whilst the others nodded uncertainly. Holly pulled out her wand and muttered the charm she had learnt so many years ago. A lioness pounced out of the tip of her wand, the pure white light blinding them all for a moment. Her lioness roared silently and then flexed her back, stretching elegantly. The four watched it bound around, entranced.

 

“Wow,� Ron said, his eyes were wide with amazement. Holly laughed dryly as the lioness dissolved into the air.

 

“That doesn’t prove anything,� Ginny said automatically, still looking at Holly very suspiciously.

 

“Well, it proves I’m not evil, doesn’t it?� Holly said as she glanced at Ginny. Holly quickly looked away from her as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Looking at Ginny filled her with emotion. She looked down at her bed quilt and tried to concentrate on that. She didn’t want to cry.

 

“Not necessarily-�

 

“Look Ron, my Patronus is a lioness, not a bloody snake or spider or anything else creepy like that!� Holly exclaimed, sounding slightly irritated. She just wanted to be alone so she could cry on her own. Like she always did. Ron’s eyes widened slightly after Holly’s statement. Hermione noticed Ron’s odd look.

 

“What’s the matter?�

 

Ron jumped and blushed. Evidently, he didn’t think that anyone saw him.

 

“I just hope I never meet someone who has a spider for their Patronus,� he mumbled. Holly bit the inside of her cheek and shook her head. At any other time, she probably would have laughed, but not then.

 

“Do you really want to know why my powers went haywire when I was asleep?� Holly had a blank look on her face as she tried to stay neutral, as she tried not to let the tears escape from her eyes. This is my only option, I have no other choice, Holly thought miserably, really not wanting to relive the memories again.

 

“Enlighten us,� Hermione said, raising an eyebrow. She knew her Patronus theory was legitimate, but she wasn’t ready to leave it just yet.

 

“Because something happened when I was younger, something terrible,� Holly said, pausing as the memories flooded over her again, merging with her dream. Fortunately, what had happened in her dream was not what really happened; her own imagination and guilt had created that. She shuddered.

 

“What was it?� Harry asked, either not noticing or ignoring Holly’s distressed look at bringing back old memories. Holly looked at the ceiling, refusing to look at Harry.

 

“I was eleven at the time. My parents had gone out for a meal and I was left with my four-year-old brother and the babysitter.� Holly paused as a lump grew in her throat. She bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She looked at all the others and realised she would have to go on, no matter how hard it would be.

 

“We were out in the garden, I was reading a book and Jake was playing with his toy cars — when it happened. It was quite cloudy, Dad said it would probably rain in a few hours and I had to remember to bring the washing in for Mum, she liked drying clothes the Muggle way. Suddenly, these men — Death Eaters — just appeared in our garden and started to attack us. Everything started to explode, all the plant pots started to blow up and the soil went everywhere. I was so scared, I had no idea what was going on, it was just chaos. One minute, everything was fine, my brother was humming, pretending it was a train noise, next minute, he was dead. Jake was murdered right in front of me, when he was still playing with his toy cars. They killed him, to get back at my parents. He had no idea what was going on.�

 

Holly squeezed her eyes shut to stem the tears, the whole scene unfolding in her head again, every single sound, the screaming, the crashing, the lights... She didn’t want to continue, she just wanted to curl up in a ball, but she kept on going anyway. She looked at nothing in particular as she continued, her voice was slightly higher and shaky than normal.

 

“Then one of them turned to me. He was going to kill me. He would have, almost did, if our babysitter hadn’t got me out of the way. But then they killed her and I just stood and watched, I felt like my legs were made of lead. Just as they were about to kill me, my parents came home, sending spells back at them and distracting them from me. But the Death Eaters escaped. I’ll never be able to forget the looks on their faces when they saw Jake dead. He was just lying there, he still had a cheeky smile on his face and his favourite blue car clasped in his hand. Ever since that day, I have run it over and over in my mind, whether I would have been able to stop it … to stop them dying.�

 

By this time, she was sobbing, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. All of her thoughts and feelings were bypassing her brain and pouring straight out of her mouth. She didn’t want to continue, she wanted to stop, but she couldn’t.

 

“He shouldn’t have died … he was only four! He was just a child!� her tears and sorrow was starting to be replaced by anger. She was only dimly aware of something surrounding her, four sets of arms engulfing her into one giant hug. There are times when words of comfort really are no use. They are just as empty as the shell of the person the words are being said to. Sometimes, the only way to help is just to listen, to try and understand. Letting the person express what they’re feeling, to get it all out, is the only way they will ever be able to heal. At that moment in time, as they heard Holly sobbing, they realised that this was one of those times. The protective bubble that Holly had carefully made around herself had burst, and now had a chance of recovery. She was going to be alright.

 

For the first time in years, Holly actually felt slightly better, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had finally told someone her darkest secret, or at least the root of it, one that had been simmering deep inside of her for years. It was consoling to have someone to listen, who wouldn’t ignore her, or try to change the subject like everyone else. As they moved away from Holly, Hermione spoke, her voice breaking slightly.

 

“You know that it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have done anything to stop it … you were just a child, too. If you did, you would have been killed,� Hermione said, sniffing. Holly’s story was heartbreaking. She was telling them something directly from her heart. Hermione couldn’t imagine how much pain that caused her, and still did. Her guilt, the grieving, the confusion — were all muddled up with her childish imagination.

 

“Then I should have died! I should have died, not him!� Holly said angrily, her flushed cheeks stained with tears that were still falling.

 

“No, neither of you should have died. It was cruel that you had to witness such a horrible thing,� Hermione said firmly, tears falling down her cheeks, too. By that time, Ginny was crying as well, and even Ron and Harry’s eyes were moist.

 

“I think I know what you’re going through, survivor’s guilt. I should know, after Cedric and Sirius and Dumbledore,� Harry said, looking at Holly in an understanding way. “But then again, they weren’t my family.�

 

“Friends are the family you chose. That’s what my father always used to say to me,� Holly replied, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve. As Holly said that, Harry knew that she was right. Even though Hermione and the Weasley’s weren’t actually family, they were as good as, and were so much more than the Dursleys ever were. If anything were to happen to them… Harry shuddered at the very thought.

 

“Any death, whether they’re family or not, is still hard, very hard,� Hermione whispered. Holly nodded slowly.

 

“We’re sorry we had a go at you just then,� Ginny said apologetically. She could now understand why Holly hadn’t told them, now the initial shock was over.

 

“It’s alright, it’s my fault that I didn’t tell you before,� Holly replied, sighing, trying to stem the tears that were spilling from her eyes. She remembered the times her brother used to almost force her to play wrestle with him or play with his little toy cars, and she gave a watery smile. Everything is going be alright, she thought, the happier moments of her brother’s short life burned in her memory. Everything was going to get better, at least about her brother’s death.

 

“Do you know who the Death Eaters were?� Ron asked as he looked at Holly intently. Holly nodded again.

 

“Then why don’t we just go after those murdering gits right now and stop them!� Harry said, ready to get up that moment and get them immediately. He had gone quite pale, which made his black hair contrast with his skin even more.

 

“No. I’ve thought it all through, a lot, and even though it’s very tempting, it probably wouldn’t change anything. Others would be sent instead,� Holly explained heavily. Her whole body seemed to sag as she said it, as if someone had punctured a balloon.

 

“You’ve really thought everything through, haven’t you?� Ginny asked with a hint of admiration in her voice. But it was still touched with sadness. She was so brave, she had been through so much. Ginny had no idea how she got the strength to carry on fighting, to help people she barely knew, in a time she didn’t belong to.

 

“Well, as much as I could,� Holly said, shrugging and wiping her damp cheeks with her sleeve and sniffing.

 

“I’ll go and make some hot chocolate for everyone,� Hermione said softly. When she was growing up, her mother would always make a cup of tea or hot chocolate for people when they were upset, and Hermione had carried on that tradition.

 

“You look really pale,� Ron stated, sounding concerned. Holly was looking even paler than the ghosts that resided in Hogwarts.

 

“I’m okay, I think. It’s all the memories,� Holly replied, her hand rubbing her locket unconsciously, her fingers tracing the familiar decoration on the front. Ginny gave her another quick, comforting hug. Thoughts of her own lost brother came to mind, of Percy Weasley. She glanced over to Ron, who took hold of her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Ron had been her rock after Percy’s death at the hands of the Death Eaters; he knew when to be serious and when to crack a joke to cheer her up. Out of all of her brothers, Ginny had always felt closest to Ron. She didn’t know what she would have done without him.

 

“I think what we need then is chocolate,� Ginny said, nodding her head solemnly.

 

“Good idea, thanks,� Holly replied as Ginny took her arm and led her down the stairs, with Ron and Harry following. Then Ginny quickly rushed into her room and returned with a large box of chocolates. Harry and Ron looked like Christmas had come early. As she offered one to Holly as they sat on the sofa, Ron lunged forward and was just about the swipe a sweet, when Ginny slapped his hand away.

 

“These aren’t for you, are you upset?� she snapped, giving her brother a dirty look.

 

“I am now!� Ron retorted, rubbing his hand and glaring at Ginny.

 

“Don’t be such a baby!� Ginny said as Holly took a sweet gratefully and popped it in her mouth.

 

“Thanks, Ginny,� Holly said, starting to look better, as colour started to fill her face again. As she noticed Harry and Ron looking longingly at the delicious chocolates, she added, “I think you should give the boys some before they leave a pile of drool on the floor!� Ginny snorted, and then passed over the box.

 

“Whoa, Ron, one at a time, you’ll make yourself sick!�

 

Ron looked bashful as he tried to shove four chocolates in his mouth at the same time. His cheeks were bulging and made him look remarkably like a hamster.

 

“Just don’t cough … or sneeze near me,� Harry laughed, looking at Ron with a slightly amused expression.

 

“Chocolate always makes me feel better when I’m feeling down,� Ginny remarked, also eating a chocolate.

 

“Or when you’ve been attacked by Dementors,� Harry added thoughtfully, and then shuddered as the image of the hooded terrors floated into his mind.

 

“Hermione, come and have some chocolate,� Ron said as the curly haired witch walked into the room, carrying five cups of steaming hot chocolate.

 

“Don’t mind if I do,� Hermione replied, choosing a milk chocolate truffle after putting the drinks down and sitting next to Ron, who pulled her close.

 

“You know, I haven’t had this much chocolate in one place in a long time,� Ginny said musingly, looking from the chocolate box to the mugs of hot chocolate. Hermione nodded in agreement.

 

“Aren’t those the chocolates from that pretty little village we visited?� Hermione enquired, glancing at the box it came with.

 

“Yep. It was from that tiny shop with the pink flowers and those delicious cakes,� Ginny replied, licking her lips, then taking a small sip of the warm, creamy, chocolaty liquid. Just perfect.

 

“Oh … I remember that village, it was a Muggle village, wasn’t it?� Ron asked, just clocking on, and grabbing his mug much less delicately than Hermione and Ginny did. Hermione winced as Ron almost caused half of his drink to slosh out of the mug.

 

“Exactly,� Ginny replied, deliberating what chocolate she should pick next. Then she noticed Holly, who was staring into space, her drink was left untouched.

 

“That little boy, Alex, he reminded you of your brother, didn’t he?� Ginny said softly, placing the cup on the table very carefully.

 

“Yes … At least I was able to save one little boy. I don’t know whether I could have coped if I had lost him today,� Holly said heavily as she fiddled with a piece of chocolate she was holding.

 

“But we didn’t,� Hermione soothed, feeling the urge to go over to Holly and hug her tightly.

 

“Yeah, but we could have,� Holly said, leaning back into her chair and taking in a shuddering breath.

 

“You have to know that it wasn’t your fault.  You couldn’t have stopped it happening,� Hermione repeated again. Holly didn’t say anything this time, but waited until the chocolate had completely melted on her tongue. It was quite soothing in a strange sort of way. A moment later, she felt the warmness from the chocolate start to spread through her body.

 

“This is the first time I’ve ever spoken about this,� Holly said, her voice breaking slightly. The others were shocked, Ron fumbled with the chocolate he had just picked up, and it fell onto the table with a resounding thud.

 

“What? You didn’t talk to your parents, or the rest of the family about it?� Hermione asked incredulously. Ron was watching Holly intently, not making any effort to pick up the fallen chocolate.

 

“I tried, but they never wanted to talk about it, or were always too busy. How was I meant to talk to my mother about how her son was murdered, how her baby boy was killed?� Holly said quietly, remembering the look of pain in her mother’s previously warm eyes whenever she mentioned her brother. It was as if part of her was gone, Jake was gone. Holly couldn’t even bear to think of his funeral and his tiny coffin.

 

“What about your father, why didn’t you talk to him?� Harry asked, rousing Holly from her thoughts.

 

Holly gave a hollow sort of laugh as she looked at Harry lopsidedly. It was the first time she had looked at him since she started her story about her brother. “I wish I could have, I really do.�

 

That statement seemed to tell them that the subject was over, that she couldn’t bear to talk about it anymore. And they understood. Instead, they sat, picking at the chocolates and taking comfort in each others’ presence. Holly picked up her mug of hot chocolate and inhaled the scent deeply. Nothing could beat a nice hot chocolate.

 

“But you do know, that if you want, you can always talk to us,� Harry said, making it clear that she was not alone. Holly smiled weakly.

 

“I know, thank you.�

 

Once again, there was silence, only the sound of people sipping their drink or biting into a chocolate.  Suddenly, Hermione glanced at her watch and jumped up from her seat. She picked up her mug and swallowed the rest of her now lukewarm drink in one gulp.

 

“Oh Merlin, I’m really sorry, but I have to go. Minerva’s expecting me — in five minutes,� Hermione announced regretfully, her eyes falling on Holly, who was nursing her mug of hot chocolate and looking slightly better.

 

“See you later,� Ron said, kissing her before she rushed to the fire and scooped up some of the glittery powder.

 

Just before she left, she took one last look at her three friends in the room, who all waved goodbye. She could tell they were all thinking along the same lines as her. There was something about Holly that was honest, almost familiar. Today, they had learned a bit about Holly’s past, and even that little snippet scared them. She must have seen so many things in her life, had to go through so many things, and they all felt a surge of sympathy for her. But as hard as they tried, they couldn’t understand why they trusted her so much. In their guts, they knew that she was telling the truth. But there were some thing’s that just didn’t add up. Questions that didn’t have answers. They had a nagging feeling in the corner of their mind that she was hiding something, but for the life of them, they couldn’t think what it could be, or why she was keeping it hidden. As the flames whirled around her, Hermione came to a decision. She was going to get to the bottom of this mystery.

 

Whatever the answer may be.