“Hey, Sunshine!”
I looked down at my black robes, wondering, not for the first time, how anyone in their right mind would call me that. Then again, it was Violet and I had long stopped wondering about her sanity.
“Lord Voldemort had a… package,” I said gruffly, silently trying to ward off the cheerful waves that were radiating from the chipper blonde in front of me. She frowned for a moment; I reveled in the break of happiness. Shuffling some papers on the desk, she pulled out a list which brightened her back up.
“Of course,” she said joyfully, glad to make my day hell by simply smiling. “He ordered some new black satin boxers. Right this way please.” Was that what I had trudged in from the damp depressing day at Hogwarts to do? Fetch underwear for a Dark Lord? I couldn’t believe it. I scowled at Violet as we headed to one of the back rooms.
“I’ve tried to get him to take a difference pattern,” Violet prattled along cheerfully. “But it’s surprising how touchy Dark Lords can be about their undergarments. Those that wear them anyway.” She looked down at the list in her hand and scanned the shelves. “Here it is. Anything else?” She handed me a box. Surprisingly non-descript for something so strange.
“Was there anything else on the list?” I asked bluntly. Surely she would be more aware about her own clients’ orders than that.
“No, but,” she dropped her voice to a whisper and leaned in. “Maybe you would consider something for yourself.”
“Madam, I am no Dark Lord.” I retorted coldly, stepping back from her. She didn’t seem bothered, but inched toward me again.
“Ah, but you could be,” she whispered, her sweet violet perfume permeating my personal space. “You could have the power, the infamy, the control. I can put you into that position, Severus.” I must confess I thought about it for an instant. I could send someone else to get the Dark Lord’s underwear, because I would be the menacing Dark Lord.
Then I thought that I couldn’t stand to have people like me as my followers. Plus I wouldn’t have the opportunity to torment students every day. And Dumbledore would be upset. The offer was tempting to be sure, but I was unmoved.
“Not today,” I said, sliding toward the door. “How much do I owe you?”
“What’s your currency?” she asked. I let out a mental scream. The woman knew my first name, but couldn’t remember the currency from the Wizarding World. Incredible. Ridiculous.
“Galleons,” I said. She scribbled for a second on her list; and showed me the number. I wanted to scream again. Reluctantly I pulled out my money and handed over far too many Galleons than I would have ever thought I would pay for underwear. And I had no hope for a reimbursement. Violet beamed at me as she took my money. No wonder she was always happy if she charged these prices and got away with it.
“Thanks, Sunshine!” She led me back up to the front. “Now you don’t forget my offer,” she whispered to me. “I don’t make it often; you have potential, you could go far. You have the look.”
“What are you talking about?” I demanded. She rolled her eyes at me.
“Tom is so last season. He doesn’t take any of my advice; and he looks awful.” She shook her head. “The older you are the more image conscious you must be. If you don’t look the part; absolutely no one will believe you.”
“He’s still the Dark Lord,” I pointed out. She rolled her eyes.
“That’s because no one’s brave enough to face him. It’s stupid. But Severus,” she sidled close to me again. I was beginning to feel violated. My personal space had rigid boundaries that she insisted on breaking. “Severus, you are strong and smart and brave. You could stand up to him.” I thought again of the detrimental consequences of this. Violet was clueless beyond this building.
“Probably not,” I said. “I can’t think of anyone that would prefer me to Lord Voldemort.” She shrugged.
“Well, if you change your mind….” she smiled at me, blinding dazzling whiteness. Smiles like that should be banned from functioning society and locked up in a nice gleaming hospital. “By the way, tell Tom that he needs to come in for a refitting.” I nodded and headed out the door.
“See you, Sunshine!” She waved at me as I made my exit. I resolved to find a darker shade of black for my robes.
The damp gray of the sky was an infinite improvement. I looked around for any astute Muggles and Apparated back to the caverns. Lord Voldemort would want his….erm…purchase. Not that it was his money that was forked over. I straightened my robes and entered the main hall.
As much as I hate to admit it, Violet was right. Voldemort was losing his diabolical touch. He was old school; it was like being afraid of last year’s bully. I was still mindful of him though; just because ‘the look’ was gone didn’t mean his brain was as well. I sighed and bowed to the sinister man in his self made throne.
“I have done what you have asked, Master.” I held out the brown package. Those red eyes never left my face but he nodded to Lucius Malfoy at his side. Lucius took the box and smirked. I barely controlled myself and kept my wand in my pocket. I could deal with him later. He too, bowed to the Dark Lord as he strode off, presumably to place them in the Dark Lord’s quarters.
“Is there anything else, Master?” I asked. I just wanted to go back to my room and finish that potion I left simmering. I could only pray that Dumbledore wasn’t expecting a report after this.
“No, Severus. You are free to leave.” I hated it when he said my name. He dragged the‘s’s out so Severus sounded like a long sigh. It was annoying. I bowed once more and made my escape. Lucius was just outside the door.
“So, Severus,” he dragged the name out like Voldemort. I should have stunned him. “How did laundry duty go? Our Lord would never send me; I….”
“Would get lost trying to find the front door.” I finished for him. He made a face very similar to his son’s antics toward Potter. You’d think that a Malfoy would grow out of such things. Pathetic.
“Shut up,” he snarled.
“Anyway, I’m going to borrow some Galleons from you,” I continued. “I think twenty Galleons would do the trick.” If I couldn’t get a refund from the Dark Lord; there was always the blonde, rather insipid Malfoy.
“What’s the matter?” he sneered. Someday his nose was going freeze in that snarl. Then we’ll see how attractive everyone thinks he is. “Teaching not paying well enough?”
“Or I could see how much your wife would pay for some juicy information concerning a red-headed man?” Malfoy swallowed and became a repentant being. I tried not to appear too smug.
“How much did you want?” he asked sullenly.
“Twenty Galleons,” I replied. He shoved the money in my hand and walked off. “By the way, your roots are showing again.” He turned and grabbed his blonde locks.
“No!” he gasped.
“Idiot,” I muttered and Apparated to Hogsmeade. It was so inconvenient not being able to Apparate into Hogwarts; but it was the price of security.
I managed to get to my quarters without any students, monsters or runaway spells. I considered it a lucky day. I was about to say my password when an old man appeared out of the corner of my eye. I wondered if I still had time to run. Dumbledore spied me and it was too late. My heart sank. Now I wouldn’t finish that potion for an hour. It wasn’t in immediate danger; but leaving open flame unattended did tend to…cause problems.
“Severus, my dear boy!” When all this mess was over, I was going to change my name. The only people that used it were ones I would rather remain anonymous. “I’ve been looking for you!” I was clapped on the shoulder and wheeled to his office before I could come up with some reply.
“Sit down, sit down,” Dumbledore said cheerfully. He and Violet should get together sometime. Though that would imply strange things… I tried to imagine Dumbledore in menacing dark robes and waving a wand about shouting Unforgivable Curses. It was impossible.
Becoming a Dark Lord by FinalCow
Chapter Notes: Snape holds a side job for Voldemort