All At Once by electronicquillster
Chapter Notes: For this chapter, and this story, I really owe a lot to three of my best friends: Shanae (who graciously let me borrow Ed and Porter), Abigail (who edited and deliberated over wording with me), and for Anna (who encouraged most of all). These girls love me a ton, and I can only hope to return said love adequately. PS This chapter is belatedly in honor of Anna's birthday!
Everything about that day stood out vividly in his mind, and maybe that was how it was supposed to be. He remembered the happy surprise of seeing his parents show up the morning of the tournament. He remembered the taste of the sausages and the raspberry scones he ate during the extended breakfast with his mum and dad. He tried not to remember the embarrassing conversation between his father and Harry Potter. He remembered the way his mother’s arm felt, tucked in the crook of his elbow while they all walked around the grounds before it became too hot out.
They went into Hogsmeade for a late lunch, and were all three glad for the crisp breeze to assuage the heat during their walk back to Hogwarts. The rest of the afternoon had found the three Diggorys back in the castle, roaming the halls at their leisure. Mr Diggory was taking full advantage of the opportunity to retell the stories of his youth in the setting where they had occurred. Cedric had heard all of these stories before, but hearing them when he was actually in the castle, with his father pointing out the exact spots, and performing small bits of the action, was more amusing than he could have imagined. He really had wonderful parents.
There were three conversations, however, that Cedric remembered more vividly than anything else that day. The first was in the Three Broomsticks when he and his mum were waiting for his father to arrive for lunch.
At one point, Amos had gone across the pub to talk to one of his former coworkers, leaving mother and son alone. His mum had waited for him to finish taking a long, refreshing draft from the bottle of chilled butterbeer in his hands. “Cedric,” she started. The tone of voice she used immediately struck a sense of guilt into his stomach. It meant that she knew something he thought he had hidden well enough for her not to figure out. It made him squirm slightly in his seat.
His mother laughed gently and put her hand over one of his. “Oh, Cedric, you’re not in trouble. I just think it’s odd that you haven’t mentioned Cho once today.”
“Oh, well, I guess she just didn’t come up.” He definitely did not want to talk about her, especially not now.
“Until now.”
“Yes, until now.”
He knew she was studying his face while he stared down the neck of the bottle at the bubbly, caramel-colored liquid. Finally, she squeezed his hand, and he brought his eyes up to meet her gaze. “If you don’t love her, you need to end it for both your sakes.”
Then his father reappeared and the conversation was over. As it was, he didn’t need to hear anything more.
The next conversation consisted of even less talking on his part. He and his parents were just sitting down to the dinner feast in the Great Hall when he noticed someone making a beeline for them, her long, black hair trailing slightly behind her in her haste. The wide grin on her face was like a punch in the stomach. He quickly excused himself from his parents and headed Cho off at the pass, not wanting to face what could only be an awkward introduction between his parents and his... and Cho.
“Hello, Cedric, I thought maybe I’d say hello to your parents, I think it’s so exciting that they were able to come today, I didn’t actually know that would happen. They look really nice. Where are we going?” she asked as he ushered her out of the Great Hall. “I won’t be meeting your parents out here when they’re in there.”
Cedric ducked into the nearest empty classroom with her and did the only thing he knew would quiet her. He kissed her. He felt terrible as she brought her hand up to his cheek, and he broke it off abruptly.
“Now’s not the best time for you to meet them.”
“Oh.” She looked slightly wounded. How was he going to end things if he couldn’t even take this only slightly wounded look?
“Well, I’ve been with them all day; I wanted a few minutes away,” he lied. He was pathetic. Why couldn’t he just tell her it was over? Wasn’t it much worse to let her think this would continue?
He let Cho pick right back up and continue to talk. She was rambling about her exams now, and how nervous she was to get her O.W.L. scores back, and then he couldn’t bear it any longer. He made his excuses (he couldn’t leave his parents waiting too long) and then left her there in the empty room.
Getting away from her felt like finally being able to breathe again after being underwater. Ironic that he saved her from the Black Lake in February, and now he felt like he was constantly drowning in their relationship.
He entered the Great Hall again and his heart began beating rapidly at what he saw: Katie Bell talking and laughing with his parents. He hesitated only for a moment, and then he quickened his steps, trying to get to them as quickly as possible. He hadn’t seen Katie around in days, and he had to talk to her now, regardless of the feast and the impending Final Task.
Just as he was about to reach them, Katie stood and said her goodbyes. Cedric followed her, quickly telling his parents that he’d be back in a few minutes. He could’ve sworn his mother’s smile said she knew what this was about. Being the intelligent woman that she was, Cedric wouldn’t have put such knowledge past her. She knew everything.
He rushed to catch up with Katie, but her pace didn’t slow one bit. He finally had to call after her. Still she didn’t turn around. “Katie!” he cried out, louder this time. He saw that, for a moment, she looked defeated when she turned to face him.
But she hid it well by smiling almost brightly at him half a second later. “Hello.”
He closed the remaining distance between them quickly. “Can I talk to you?”
She pursed her lips for just a moment, something he’d seen her do often when having to make a decision in a split second. “I was supposed to meet Leanne and Travis before the Task.”
“Just for a few minutes? There’s plenty of time.”
“Okay.”
They left the Great Hall, walked through the Entrance Hall, and then went out the large doors onto the grounds. The sun was setting, turning the sky violent shades of pink and gold. They walked quietly along the edge of the lake. They didn’t stand too close together, definitely further apart than that afternoon they had spent with each other in the maze. They walked very slowly, and the tension between them was thick.
When they finally reached the edge of the forest, Katie broke the silence. “I thought you wanted to talk to me.”
“I do.”
“What did you want to say? There’s only so much time before the feast is over.” She seemed intent on not looking at him.
“You’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered, refusing or unable to look at him, gazing off into the distance.
He had known the answer to the question already, but he had to ask her. He had to hear it from her own lips just to confirm that he wasn’t making everything up, but he still hadn’t been prepared for the pain that her honest answer would cause.
“Katie-”
“I had to avoid you, Ced. I can’t be only your friend now. I can’t. Give me time, and I will be able to be your friend again. Just not now.”
“Good,” he said, taking her hand and making her stop to face him. He was relieved that she wasn’t rejecting him, but she looked even more worried than he had realized, and he felt just about as nervous. He tried to explain himself slowly because this was important. “I don’t want you to be only my friend. I want to be more than friends.” After pausing for a deep breath, he continued. “I think I love you.”
Katie looked as if she wanted to run away, mild terror shining in her eyes. Cedric could see she was also trembling slightly. “You have to mean it,” she almost pleaded. “You can’t just say something like that unless you’re serious because I can’t bear it if it’s not true.”
He took both of her hands now, and held them gently in front of him, at the level of his waist. He looked down at their joined hands while he spoke softly, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he risked losing them. “I could never say that if I didn’t mean it, Katie. I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you for a long time now, and I just didn’t have a chance to feel it before. Do you remember when you asked me what my biggest fear was?”
He looked up at her face for a moment, and she nodded.
“I suppose it’s not much different than what I said before - the fear of letting everyone down. But what I’m most afraid of is choosing the wrong thing.” He paused, looking intently at their hands again. “I think I have been choosing the wrong thing for a very long time. Cho was the wrong one for me. I’ve had to try so hard to let her mean something to me, but you’ve always meant something to me, and now you mean even more to me, and I can’t deny it any more, so I guess I’m trying to say that-”
“Don’t,” she interrupted.
He looked up again. Katie could see he felt stung by her interjection, but she couldn’t let him speak any more or else she would risk crying.
“Why not?” he finally whispered.
She squeezed his hands in reassurance. “I know what you’re thinking, but you’re not speaking straight. Sometimes things just happen that we can’t explain, and we don’t need to explain them, either.” She rose up on tiptoe to kiss him gently. There was no hesitation in their kiss, just a feeling of elation and a desire to savor every bit of the moment.
Cedric pulled her close, hugging her tightly, not really believing this moment could be so perfect. He’d clearly forgotten what their last kiss had felt like. He felt very content, like a part of him had slipped into place, and he felt prepared and energized, like he could now face the Final Task. They slowly parted, and Katie let her fingers trace the line of his jaw and then brush over his lips. Still, there was no hesitation. Now that they had said everything, there seemed to be nothing holding them back.
Well, there was one thing left.
“I forgot to tell you something that I was going to tell you before I said everything else.”
“Hmm?”
“I wish I had already done it, but the next time I see Cho, I’m letting her know we’re done.”
Katie didn’t say anything to that, and Cedric began to panic slightly.
“Katie?” he finally prompted.
She bit her lip for a moment before speaking. “I think I should feel very bad that you haven’t broken up with her already, but I’m too happy right now to care.” She buried her head in his shoulder. “That’s so selfish of me! I feel awful that I don’t feel bad.”
Cedric smiled and kissed the top of her head. “You shouldn’t have to feel bad because I should have done it a long time ago.”
“When are you going to do it?” she asked. She looked back up into his eyes.
“Before the task.” A look of mild panic washed over his face. “Or maybe after the task. What time is it? I think I’ll have to do it right after the task - the second I come out.”
Katie looked at her watch and her eyes widened. “Yes, we need to hurry. They’ll be wondering where you are!”
The two walked quickly along the edge of the forest back toward the castle, hand in hand. Then Katie stopped and pulled Cedric a few feet into the forest.
“Katie, what-?”
“Look,” she said, plucking a small, delicate, white flower from a shrub nestled amongst a cluster of younger trees. The plant seemed to squirm slightly at having a flower snatched from its branches. It looked like the wild version of the hedges that formed the maze he was about to face. She handed it to him, grinning. “Just in case it will give you an extra nose. The heightened sense of smell could come in very handy, you know.”
They laughed, and more white flowers popped out on the shrub. Cedric smelled the flower, savoring its simple scent, and then put it in his pocket. “I’ll keep it for good luck.”
“No wearing it behind your ear or woven into your hair?” Katie asked, feigning offense.
“No,” he laughed, “but here.” He reached out for another flower and then tucked it gently behind Katie’s ear.
They heard people approaching them at a running pace and turned to see Ed and Porter making their way to where they were.
“Oy, there you two are!” Ed called out, grinning.
“They were just about to start dessert when we came to find you,” Porter said.
“Yeah, you owe us for that. Sprout said to come find you because they’re going to call for the Champions to leave the feast really soon.”
“You’ve missed almost the whole feast,” Porter pointed out as the four trotted back to the castle.
“Not that hungry,” Cedric replied.
When they came into the Entrance Hall, Porter held Cedric back for a moment. “We’d better let Katie go in first and then wait a minute because you still haven’t told Cho yet, have you?”
They all shared a guilty look, all but Ed, and Katie frowned at him. “Why are you smiling so much?”
“Because I prefer you so much more than Cho,” he said.
Katie smiled and blushed, and then bid farewell to the the three lads.
“Wait.” Cedric caught Katie’s hand and pulled her back, kissing her for just a moment.
“Good luck, Cedric,” Katie said, then turned back again to go into the Great Hall.
Cedric couldn’t wipe the happy grin off of his face, and it seemed Ed and Porter were just as pleased with this new turn of events. A minute later, they went back in to the feast, and he caught a glimpse of Cho at the Ravenclaw table. That’s when he knew, as he glanced over to Katie and thought of the flower in his pocket, that maybe the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.