Two- Messages
“Becoming responsible adults is no longer a matter of whether children hang up their pajamas or put dirty towels in the hamper, but whether they care about themselves and others -- and whether they see everyday chores as related to how we treat this planet.”
EDA LESHAN
A girl was lying on top of her bed in her room staring at the ceiling. Her straight black hair, which fell half-way down her back, was tumbled all over the bed, making a sharp contrast with the white pillow. She had large brown eyes freshly soaked in tears set in a heart-shaped face. By her side was a small ceramic bowl filled with nuts. Every now and again she picked one out, cracked its shelf with her teeth, discarded the casing into the bin next to the bed, and ate it listlessly.
She hated being here. Normally she enjoyed the school holidays. There were no annoying Potions lessons, and there was lots of time to relax and do the things she enjoyed most. Like drawing, reading or flying in the huge backyard on her broom. And if being by herself started to get to her, while her parents were out of work, she could invite a friend over for the day. And, of course, there was plenty of holiday homework she usually had, especially for Arithmancy. She’d managed to get through most summer breaks, but this one dragged by infuriatingly slowly.
But now they weren’t holidays, the girl remembered with a jolt. She wasn’t going back in September. That was the reason she couldn’t settle to anything. Now that You-Know-Who was back, the Ministry had decided to close Hogwarts ‘for the safety of the students and teachers’. The girl snorted and cracked another nut. As if Hogwarts wasn’t the most secure place in the whole country, thanks to Dumbledore. But, considering what had happened in the maze, maybe it was the best thing to do.
Stop it, she told herself firmly. Don’t worry about that now. Think about something else.
But she couldn’t prevent herself from remembering what had happened at Hogwarts, after the Third Task…
No one had even considered her, as usual. She’d been pushed back as everyone hurried closer. People who’d hardly noticed him before, and who just wanted to have a good look at his body. Harry had been led away by a teacher, and then it was just him, abandoned on the grass next to the cup. The cup he’d given his life for.
Dumbledore had run off to talk to Amos Diggory. He hadn’t thought about a short, freckled Chinese girl with big brown eyes clutching a staircase barrier half way up the stands. No, no one ever cared about her. Girls who wanted to become popular were quite happy to hang around with her. They were fine with chatting about boys they liked and clothes they wanted to buy and all the boring homework which was interrupting their social lives. But it was amazing how quickly they all disappeared when she had a problem bigger than ‘what colour should I wear on the Hogsmeade trip?’
After everything was cleared down by the maze, everyone was led away. The Ravenclaws had been hurried off to the Tower by Professor Flitwick. She hardly saw the Common Room swathed in blue silk as she ran upstairs to her dormitory. She threw herself onto her bed and sobbed into the fresh white pillow.
Cedric…her Cedric, was gone. How could it have happened? Did it have some thing to do with Harry? Was it his fault? Did something go for him inside that maze, and Cedric saved him? That would be so like him. He was always so kind and noble. She’d hardly been on speaking terms with him for more than a year. And there was so much more she wanted to know about him. Who were his parents? When did he learn all those random little bits of information he occasionally came out with? Where did he live? And what had he seen in her? Because she knew he hadn’t just dated her because she was popular and had lots of friends, like some boys did. It wasn’t all a game to him, or a silly stunt. And he hadn’t just done it to get attention. He had truly cared for her, she knew it. But they had never talked about those sorts of things. They’d only been dating since the Yule Ball. All they had spoken about was Quidditch, and school stuff, and general things like that. And now she’d never know…
What she had desperately wanted to do right now was just talk to someone and tell them everything. But, surprise, surprise, all her friends seemed to have miraculously disappeared. Not a single one came up here to ask her how she was feeling or just give her a hug. They were all probably hiding down in the Common Room shrieking over the latest pin-up. Cedric had been on their ‘Cutest Boys Ever’ list once. But then he’d asked Cho out and therefore, by law number thirty-five of Girl World, he was her ‘property’ and as her friends, they weren’t allowed to think about him.
Even in the middle of her tears, she couldn’t help laughing a little. All those ridiculous rules which, as a Popular Girl, she’d been obliged to honour, obey, and learn by heart. All the ridiculous things she’d played along with. Cedric had never done anything he had known was wrong or stupid. Why wasn’t it him who was alive? There was so much he could have done. And what use was she to the rest of the world?
She heard voices on the stairs. Was that Marietta or Ellie? Had someone finally come to ask her if she was ok? The door swung open, and the two girls walked into the room. It was so dark in the dormitory, she could only tell who they were by the silhouettes they made against the window.
Ellie looked around, “Where’s Cho?”
She was about to speak when Marietta answered instead, “I think she’s asleep, thank God. Tonight, I just couldn’t stand anymore tears from her.”
She had just been about to get off the bed when she froze. So they hadn’t come to check up on her.
“I know. I just hate the way she’s always crying to get attention. And she’s always so ‘oooh, look at me, look at me! I’m so brilliant at Flying and Arithmancy!’ She always has to be at the centre of everything.”
“That is so right! And she’s always complaining about her parents wanting her to become a Healer. I mean, for God’s sake, what’s wrong with being one? There are always jobs going at St. Mungo’s and the salaries are mega-huge.”
Cho almost choked. They’d always been so supportive and sympathetic about her ‘fate worse than death’ as she liked to call it. Was lots of money all they cared about? What about finding a job that interests you, or one with skills you have? She loved subjects like Astronomy and Arithmancy. She wouldn’t need them to be a Healer. So why was she going to have to drop them at the end of the year, and keep Potions. Did her parents just want her to be something she wasn’t?
“And remember when she was yelling at Charlie after Arithmancy. She was being so big-headed just because Professor Vector said she’d have no trouble getting ‘Outstanding’ in her OWL. So what Charlie’s still only at ‘Poor’? She doesn’t have to rub it in.”
Cho was clenching a fistful of bedclothes in one hand so tightly she was scoring red marks into her hand. Didn’t they remember it had been stinking Charlotte (she refused to call her Charlie) Brocklehurst who had started it?
“Oh my god yeah, and the way she went ‘oh, I’m surprised anyone as clearly stupid as you are could have got into Ravenclaw’.”
“And she’s such a drama-queen. When Charlie said ‘that’s rich coming from you! You suck at Potions!’ she started pretending to cry and went ‘oh how creative, I suck. Quick, pass me a tissue, I’m going to cry!”
“And it’s totally true! She is so bad in Potions. She tries to blame it all on Snape, but, I mean, no way it’s just his fault!”
Cho gave a slight cough which made both girls almost jump out of their skins.
“Ohmygod, what was that?” whispered Ellie.
Marietta crept closer to Cho’s bed, “It’s alright, she’s still asleep.”
“Thank god! I’m so totally going to bed before she wakes up.”
“Same.”
A hoot and tapping at the window jolted Cho out of her day-dream. She sat up abruptly, sending the near-empty bowl of nuts sliding down the bed sheets and on a collision course with the floor. It hit the carpet with a dull thud and scattered bits of shell everywhere. Cursing under her breath, Cho quickly bent down to pick them up. As she looked over her shoulder to see what the disturbance was, she saw one of the grey school owls screeching on her window sill. With her heart beating very fast, she carefully opened the casement and detached the two letters tied to its leg. The bird took off again in a whirl of feathers. One of the envelopes was obviously her dreaded OWL grades.
Windows,Cho smiled to herself, are not good for me at the moment. But last time was much worse…
It had taken hours and hours for her to get to sleep after Marietta and Ellie had settled down for the night. Gradually, all the other girls had come to bed too, and one by one they had all dropped off. Until it was just Cho, lying on her back in a dark, silent dormitory. The whole rest of the school seemed to be peacefully at rest, except for her. She sighed, and turned onto her front, impatiently punching her pillow into a more comfortable shape. After a few more minutes, she jumped up and went to the window.
She was pouring herself a glass of water from the jug on the sill when she noticed movement outside. Cho pressed her face against the cold glass. It was difficult to see…everything was so dark. But she could just about make out a figure, with a billowing cape, soaring across the grounds on a broom. The person was just crossing the lake when three more humans tore out from the Entrance Hall to the castle.
Cho opened the window and leaned her head out to try and hear what they were saying. There was a flash of light as the one on the broom disarmed the runner who was closer than the other two. She watched the wand soaring in a graceful arc. They were chasing the figure in the cloak out of the grounds. He (or she) jumped off his broom and vanished, shooting a sickening, green thing into the sky. Like what she had seen at the Quidditch World Cup. A huge serpent slithering out of the mouth of a skull.
It was horrible, and gleamed vividly. Cho felt sick, but it was impossible to look away. She stared at it, her eyes going out of focus . It was only when one of the figures below shouted out that she turned away and jumped back into bed, pulling the covers around her ears.
Cho shook herself. She was becoming more and more unfocused, now the holidays were drawing to the end. Normally, this time was full of packing, sorting out books, finishing off Potions holiday work (which she always left until the last minute) and appreciating the last few days of relaxation she had left. But now, all Cho had to look forward to were more days of endless boredom.
She suddenly realized that her letters were lying on the window sill, still unopened. Half smiling to herself as she picked them up, Cho wondered for the millionth time how her mind could wonder so much from something as important as OWL grades. She picked them up and settled down comfortably on her bed to find out her fate.
Her hands were shaking as she tore the first envelope, and pulled out a folded sheet of parchment. Cho stared at it for a second, breathed heavily, scrunched her eyes up and flipped it open.
Cautiously, she opened one eye, then the other, and began to read.
ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS
Pass grades:
Outstanding (O)
Exceeds Expectations (E)
Acceptable (A)
Fail grades:
Poor (P)
Dreadful (D)
Troll (T)
CHO OLIVIA CHANG HAS ACHIEVED:
Arithmancy: O
Astronomy: O
Care of Magical Creatures: O
Charms: O
Defence Against the Dark Arts: E
Divination: E
Herbology: O
History of Magic: A
Potions: A
Transfiguration: O
Cho gasped! She’d passed everything, even Potions! Well, take that Snape for you and all your ‘predicted grades’. The way he swept down on her the lesson before the exam, in front of the whole class and said,
“Ah, and as for Miss Chang, I think she’ll be very lucky to get a ‘D’. This subject seems to be far beyond the realms of nail varnish and hair extensions. ”
Cho had felt her cheeks burn as Charlie and her little friends snickered behind her.
And…Cho scanned the list again. She was surprised with her ‘E’ in Divination, though. In the exam, she’d just made it all up. Ah well, who’s complaining? Maybe that was what all Seers were, just lucky guessers.
Wow! An ‘O’ in Arithmancy, Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Herbology and Transfiguration. That was six top grades. Her parents would be ecstatic. Wait till they got home and she told them! They wouldn’t be thrilled about the two ‘A’s, though.
But who cares, thought Cho, I can’t be good at everything, can I?
She quickly opened the second letter, though she had no idea what else Hogwarts or the Ministry had to say to her. It was written in shiny green ink. Cho’s eyes lit up as she read.
Dear Miss Chang,
As you are no doubt aware, Hogwarts has been closed due to concern for the safety of the students. However, if you wish to continue your magical education and help fight the Death Eaters, then you are very welcome to come back to Hogwarts, which is now the Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix, and join us. Please do not make your decision lightly. The work will be very difficult, and probably dangerous.
A card is enclosed. When you go to King’s Cross Station, as usual, walk to Platform nine and three-quarters. After getting inside, there will be a Particle Debit machine. Slot the card into it and follow the instructions. Do so by the first of September at the latest, or it will expire.
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Principal of the Order of the Phoenix
Cho sat up straighter. She had to go! This was her one chance to fight against the evil people who had killed Cedric. Mum and dad would be disappointed, they were both trying to pull high-up strings in St Mungo’s. But she was sure they wouldn’t succeed. Would they really take a girl who didn’t even have her OWL gra-…well who hadn’t finished school? And anyway, it was her life, wasn’t it?
She slid the card out of the envelope. It was quite heavy, made of plastic in a rounded rectangular shape. The school crest was embossed in the top right hand corner. Underneath it ‘Miss Cho Chang’ was printed, then a long string of numbers below it. On the reverse there was a black strip and expiry date. She put the two letters and the card into her jeans pocket.
Now all she needed to do was tell her parents. Maybe she’d soften the blow with her OWL results. They’d both been in Ravenclaw, so learning was prized highly in her family. Right. She’d tell them tonight over dinner. If they were both back, of course. Cho was half-way across the room to pick her broom up for a ride outside when she heard a roar from the fireplace downstairs.
“I’m home!” her mum called.
She froze for a second, felt to make sure her letters were still there and ran downstairs into the kitchen.
Her mum was already busy cooking dinner. She was supervising a legion of knives which were chopping vegetables up on the work surfaces. By now the white, shiny cooker was laden with simmering pots. Cho dodged round the wooden dining table and almost tripped over her black cat Ivy, who had, of course, come home now it was feeding time.
“Ah. Cho. Can you set the table, please? I’ve got a brilliant piece of news for you.”
“Oh,” I have to think of a way to introduce the subject of going back to Hogwarts.
Her mum hesitated, “But maybe I should wait until your father gets home.”
Good idea, thought Cho.And I will too. She didn’t want to have to explain everything to her mum, and then tell it all over again to dad. Or worse, her mother shrieking the whole story (with plenty of exaggerations) to him, if she took it badly. But Cho was hoping at the moment that they wouldn’t.
She slid open the creamy cutlery draw, and pulled out three knives and forks. She could say she was going back to finish her education. Her parents might buy that.
***
Twenty minutes later, Cho was sitting uncomfortably at the dinner table. Her parents were scrutinizing her, as if they knew she had something to hide. She looked down at her willow pattern plate.
“Well…start everybody,” her mum said.
Cho picked up her knife and fork and began to cut up her slightly tough jacket potato. With a particularly violent attempt to puncture the skin, she sent half her peas rolling all over the tiled floor.
“Cho,” said her father sharply, “pick those up at once!”
“Yes dad,” she said, waiting until she’d slid off her chair, then rolling her eyes.
Once she’d thrown the peas into the bin and returned to her place, her mum coughed and began to speak in a nervous, fluttery voice, “Yes, so, err…I h-have some news for you both!”
Cho hardly heard her as she played with her carrots. She really couldn’t care less. Her mum wasn’t eating either, but the hand that held her knife was trembling slightly.
“Well, I was speaking to Marianne Knightly, you know, the Head of Creature Induced Injuries, about Cho. And she said that they’re desperate for a new Trainee Healer. Apparently they can’t find anyone. So asked if she would like Cho to come in and help, and she said yes!”
“That’s wonderful. When do they want her to start?”
“As soon as she can. Isn’t that brilliant, Cho?”
She couldn’t trust herself to speak to anyone. Inside she was screaming. How could they? She didn’t want to work there, she wanted to join the Order. She looked up. Her dad had taken his glasses off and was cleaning them on his jumper. He put them back on and surveyed her coldly.
“Cho?” asked her mum. “When do you want to start? Monday?”
“NO!” she almost yelled, and suddenly realized she was on her feet.
Her parents stared at her, looking shocked. Her mum’s heart-shaped face was pale. The large, brown eyes Cho had inherited were wide with horror and disbelief. She gawped at her. Cho cleared her throat and sat down.
“I mean…why would they want me? I haven’t even done my NEWTs.”
“Hogwarts has closed. You’ve at least done your OWLs, it’s going to be the best they’ll get.”
“But I’m rubbish at doing things under pressure! I just panic.”
Her mum smiled at her warmly from across the table, “You’ll learn. It didn’t come to me naturally, either.”
Cho cast around for another objection, one they couldn’t overcome. “I-I can’t come because I’m going to join the Order of the Phoenix!” she blurted out before she’d thought about it.
Her mother gaped at her, “What? Why do you want to…where did you get that from?”
“I was sent a letter about it. I have to go by the first of September.”
Cho’s dad just laughed, “Very funny. Now eat your dinner up like a good girl. We’ll sort out a time for you to go and see the Head of Creatures tomorrow.”
“No,” she stood up and stamped her foot impatiently on the white and dark blue tiles, “I want to join the Order!”
“Why would they want you? There are plenty of Aurors around.”
“Look!” Cho pulled the slightly crumpled letters from her pocket and threw them onto the table. “McGonagall wrote to everyone asking them.”
Her dad picked up the top piece of parchment. His smile vanished after a few seconds. “You’re not going,” he said darkly.
Maybe, in the days before Cedric died, Cho would have just nodded sulkily and slunk off to her room. But not now. Because she knew that she might be dead tomorrow, and that there was no point in wanting something unless you were prepared to fight for it, until the bitter end.
“I will,” Cho said quietly.
“You are going to St Mungo’s. Don’t you care about all the trouble your mother’s gone to, just so you can have a good, safe job?”
“Of course I’m grateful, but I didn’t ask for it, did I? I never wanted anything to do with Healers or hospitals!” she shrieked.
“Both your mother and I have been-” raged her dad.
“But this is my life for me to do what I want. I’m sick of you trying to control everything I do.”
“We’re trying to do what’s best for you. You’re too young to be making decisions like these.”
“I think I should be able to choose for myself. Now, will you let me join the Order?” she replied more calmly.
“Sit down and eat your dinner.”
“Are you going to give me permission?”
“Go to your room,” said her mum quietly.
Both Cho and her dad jumped. They’d completely forgotten she was in the room, too. She stood up, shaking slightly. Her hands fluttered around her black, shiny bun, making sure every strand of hair was secure.
“I think it’s time for you to go to bed,” her thin lips were quivering as she spoke.
Cho folded her arms and leant against the cornflower blue wall, “Not until you’ve told me-”
“DO AS YOUR MOTHER SAYS!”
“No, I want to know now.”
“You will not go to work in the Order. St Mungo’s is an excellent place, and when you’re older you will realize this.”
“Fine, I’ll go without permission then,” and Cho swept her letters off the table and stalked out of the room.
She ran upstairs and hurtled into her room. She glanced around it for a few seconds, then began to pack as much as she possibly could squeeze into her lilac suitcase and rucksack. Books…shoes…clothes…diary…toothbrush…more books…
Finally, Cho slammed the lid down on her trunk. She grabbed Ivy, who had just slunk into the room and twined around her leg, and shoved her into the cat basket. Making sure her card and OWL results were still safe in her pocket, she picked up her luggage, and pulled it with some difficulty down the stairs. In the hall Cho picked up a powder blue rain coat, opened the door and walked as quickly as possible down the street.
After about fifteen minutes, her boiling rage had simmered down into panic. How was she going to get to King’s Cross Station? She couldn’t walk there, obviously, and she had no Muggle money for a taxi. Why had she lost her head back then, instead of calmly pointing out the facts? She could have persuaded them.
Cho crossed the deserted road and heaved her suitcase down another street. They all looked the same. She walked one way, and then another. She gave out a little whimper, turned around, and then sat down on the pavement heavily and cried. Why did she have to be so stupid and reckless? Now she had no idea where she was, and had no hope of finding her way anywhere until daylight. Cho was just about to gather up her stuff when an idea hit her like an omnibus edition of ‘The Standard Book Of Spells’. Of course! The Knight Bus. She was such an idiot. How many times had she used it? Cho grabbed her wand and waved it around over the gutter until a triple-decker, purple bus screeched around the corner. A pimply young man in uniform the same colour as the bus leapt onto the pavement.
“Hello and welcome to the Knight Bus, which provides transport to all the destinations you can think of. I am your conductor, Stan Shunpike, and we’ll take you anywhere you want to go for a very reasonable price.”
Cho was about to pick her suitcase up, but Stan said, “No, no, no. You get on and find yourself a bed. I’ll take these for you.”
He began to pick up her luggage while she stepped on board and got her purse out.
“King’s Cross Station, please.”
Roses and Thorns by Phoebe Gruzelier
Chapter Notes: Well, at long last I've finished this chapter. I kept on having to re-write it. It doesn't exactly do what I wanted it to, but I think it'll just have to do.
I dedicate this chapter to all the girls I know at my school who are being forced by their parents to becaome doctors or lawyers by their parents. This is for you!