James intended to walk with Lily to the Great Hall from the Common Room using the time to repair some damage. He knew it was not just guilt that drove him to try to right things with Lily; he was well aware now that he honestly cared for her, that he wanted her.
Lily had always been elusive, and in that, intriguing. James was easily charming to most every girl. He was a star Seeker, an intelligent student, a self-confident trouble maker. He was strong, and loud, and the ease he carried himself with was alluring. But Lily…
She could be dismissive of him in the most honest way. She did not care what he thought of her. If she hated him, she did to her very core. If she was indifferent, then there was no hope. James couldn’t understand her. He saw her sweep her hair out of her face in annoyance when reading, or sit with her bare feet in the lake, and he was certain that she had no idea how attractive she was. James’ mind flitted for a second back to the fight in the corridor.
He winced at the memory. He’d hurt her, broken her. Every cell in his brain shied away from that thought. And yet when he’d woken up in the Hospital Wing, hers were the first eyes he saw.
He was certain of it, even if it did feel a little like a dream. But he could distinctly remember her beautiful green eyes that shifted tints as the daylight changed. It was such an intense relief to see them.
He sat melted into an armchair by the fire, examining the stairs up to the girl’s dorm. He would have just run up and gotten her, but Sirius had learned in their third year, that attempting entrance would not end well. As it was, James now had too much time to think of Lily.
It’s not like I don’t think about her all the time anyway. He hated that. She’d wiggled herself into being a constant in his subconscious and a constant absence in reality. He disliked that she had so much control over him; he wished she could be just another girl.
She came down the stairs and instead of giving him the cold shoulder like he expected she went to him.
“You ready to go?” she asked in a resigned voice her eyes scanning his relaxed figure.
He sprang up, then tipped backward into the chair, his feet unstable. Lily couldn’t help but laugh, and she helpfully offered her hand. James took it and she pulled him up. He allowed her to quickly release his hand, even as it twitched involuntarily to hold on to hers.
“So,” he tried coolly, “how were your classes?” She walked beside him casually. He felt triumphant that she did so, her animosity of the past years seemed to be somewhat diminished.
“Ah, you know, keeping my naps to only ten minutes long in History of Magic, trying not to get attacked in Gilbert’s, same Hogwarts stuff,” she said it sarcastically, but warmly. Lily never really felt angry about Hogwarts. She could take the drama as long as it meant she woke up everyday as a witch. She was pretty sure it was a Muggle-born thing.
“I swear, I will never again attempt to throw off one of Gilbert’s curses. It seems like he’s tested every one of them on me,” James grumpily continued as his thoughts turned back to earlier that week. Professor Gilbert had wanted to see how much mastery James had in ridding himself wandlessly of curses. Lily had to admit she was impressed. James seemed to have an aptitude for Defense Against the Dark Arts.
They rounded a corner and entered the Great Hall. Dumbledore was sitting out of place on the end of the Ravenclaw table, waiting for them. A few candles were lit so that they could see each other’s faces. He smiled kindly.
“Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter,” he nodded, “I believe Mr. Snape will be here shortly.”
Even as Dumbledore said this, Lily could see from behind him, Severus coming in. He smiled kindly at her, ignoring James completely. “I’m here, Professor”,” he affirmed, moving to stand on the other side of Lily.
“Alright then. You will all patrol together for three hours. You will then meet me back here, and I’ll send you off to bed,” Dumbledore explained quietly. “Stay inside the school, and should you find any students, handle them as you see fit.”
Lily looked up, surprised at Dumbledore, and Severus raised one eyebrow. James, however, looked relaxed.
“I’d suggest sending them back to bed,” Dumbledore chortled with a twinkle in his eye. He then waved out the candles and lit his wand. Bowing politely to them, he disappeared down the far end of the hall, leaving the trio slightly unsure of what to do.
“Completely off his rocker, that one,” James offered friendly.
“Let’s just get this over with, I’m pretty sure we just have to walk around together,” replied Lily taking a hesitant step towards the door and Severus groaned.
“What?” asked Lily, turning to look at Severus as he rolled his eyes.
“That’s the point, isn’t it? Dumbledore doesn’t want us to patrol, he wants us all to spend time together,” Severus explained with a growl. James eyebrows knitted and he took an involuntary step back.
“He’s expecting us to get along?” James asked incredulously. “He wants us to work out our problems or something?”
Lily couldn’t help it, she was smiling. Perfect. Tricky, but it’s a good plan. She was going to have to play the peacemaker and have more patience than ever, but here was the opportunity, finally. She really wished that she didn’t care if the boys attacked each other, but she despised the thought of Severus getting hurt, or him seriously hurting James. So she would suffer these nights with them and force them to get to know each other enough not to kill each other.
They walked aimlessly for the first hour in relative silence. Lily’s plan was not working. The only responses she got to her questions were monosyllabic. They wouldn’t let her force conversation. She was leading the way, well aware of the two lurking at different paces behind her. At 11:30, Severus finally broke the silence.
“We better go work on the potion, Lily,” he smiled, amused at the shock on her face. What the hell- she had time to think before…
“What potion?” James asked, stopping and staring at them intently. His dark eyebrows furrowed as he shifted his gaze to look upon Lily only. He registered the spasm of guilt that passed through her face with surprise.
“Nothing. I don’t know what he’s saying. You mean for potions class right?” Lily spat out quickly, raising an eyebrow at Severus.
“Nope,” he replied, crookedly grinning. “I mean that potion you and I have been working on at nights, we really will have to hurry to get there now.”
The confusion in Lily’s mind was nothing compared to James’. She was angry and a little betrayed, but James still couldn’t place his emotions. However, curiosity was easily beating his other feelings down.
“So, you two are working on a potion?” James questioned Severus. Severus remained silent but turned his head down slightly, never breaking focus on James. The silence allowed James to come to the correct conclusion.
“An illegal potion?” James guessed, now turning to Lily. He couldn’t believe it, but there was still guilt in her eyes. “Wow. Gotta hand it to you, Snivellus. You got Evans to break the rules.”
“I didn’t know we were going to go and tell the whole school,” Lily frowned at Severus. She couldn’t figure this one out. What was Severus thinking, or…what was he planning? She took a second to study his face. It held no hint of chagrin, only amusement. Lily knew she couldn’t trust herself to decipher Severus’ emotions. She didn’t believe there was anyone who was better at disguising their true feelings.
“Just Potter, Lily. Besides, were supposed to be bonding. The way I see it, Dumbledore will know if we aren’t traveling together, so I had to tell Potter,” Severus concluded, nodding once at James.
“Fine,” replied Lily, still wary. She half stomped off, leading the way to the potion. Her anger might have been more effective if her hair hadn’t been swinging so girlishly behind her. She was certain Severus had ulterior motives and they weren’t peaceful. She could scream at him and his prejudices. As much as she now feared for James’ safety, because she couldn’t see Severus letting him in on the secret without a catch, she also felt a little hurt. She barely let herself admit it; that a part of her felt betrayed. They had lost their shared secret.
The trio gathered around the simmering mixture and their eyes started watering.
“What the bloody hell are you making?” cried an indignant James, coughing as he breathed in the purple fumes. The potion burped, as if in response. It began to spit and the droplets that hit the stone floor whined slightly as they dissolved.
Severus didn’t answer; he seemed to be holding his breath as he sat chopping beetles and quickly sliding the pieces into the potion. It almost instantly defused to a neutral gray. Lily sat next to him and got out her wand, barely skimming the potion with it as she murmured a few words. James sat down as well, and with unreadable eyes, observed Severus and Lily’s activities.
After a few more ingredients had been added, and the potion threw diamond and silver light off the stone walls, Lily and Severus seemed to breathe out in unison and they shared a smile. Lily, however, was very aware of James.
She shifted, so that her body language engaged James, but did not isolate Severus. “It’s a variation of Veritaserum. The drinker will tell their greatest secret. Sev had been working on it.” Lily tossed James the potion book which he caught easily.
James turned his head downward in thought, but then looked up, eyes alight. “It’d be relative, though, right Evans?” He said it as a question, but it was more of a comment.
“What do you mean?” Lily inquired, her curiosity shifting her to face James. He was flipping purposefully through the book to find the potion. He skimmed the page, but did not seem to find it useful. Snapping it shut, he looked up at her.
“Well, the greatness of the secret would pertain to the persons in proximity. What may be a huge secret to tell one person, wouldn’t be to tell someone else, maybe someone who already knows it. Do you get it?” James finished in a flurry, and he shifted, giving the potion a respectful distance now that he realized its powers. He wasn’t sure if Lily would understand his convoluted assessment.
“Huh. I didn’t think of that. I’m not really sure how it will work. I’m curious, but I can’t imagine how we’re going to get someone to test it,” replied Lily, looking back at the flames. She caught two identical reflections of the fire in her peripheral vision. Severus was sitting quietly.
“I can think of a few teachers’ goblets we could slip some into,” James casually suggested.
“Hmmm, appealing, but no,” Lily said, smiling.
“Oh, come on. It would be interesting. Scientific, even,” James laughed.
Lily attempted to swat him with the back of her hand but James dodged. Severus rose behind her and offered his hand. Lily took it and he pulled her up as James rose too. They headed back to the corridor all three still separate, but, Lily imagined, perhaps a tiny bit closer together.
As they entered the last hallway before the Great Hall, Severus called, “James,” in a calm voice. James turned to find Severus not a foot away with his wand in hand. It was instantaneous, not even James’ superb reflexes could move him in time. Lily barely had time for her eyes to widen as Severus casually spoke,
“Obliviate.”
The Only One He Ever Loved by Salem
Chapter Notes: Enjoy!
All characters and the backstory are JK Rowling's. Along with and entire shelf of my bookshelf.
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