“So you’re the girl,” Margaret said as she dug through a friend’s trunk.
I glanced at her, confused. “What girl?”
She gave me an appraising look, her face unreadable. “The one who drove Ted to distraction.”
I gave her a look that clearly said I wasn’t following.
“Ted, for all his friendliness, keeps to himself and his close friends. You can tell something is up when Ted throws himself into a social life. He did that a couple of months ago and hasn’t stopped. I figured the person involved didn’t belong to Hufflepuff. To be honest, I’m not surprised you’re a girl either.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. I sat and thought about all that I had learned from this young, bold girl.
“What size shoe do you wear?”
Pulling myself from my thoughts, I focused on her. I answered absently, not really paying attention to the clothes she was piling up on her bed beside me.
“How long have you and Ted been friends?” I asked.
“Not too long. About as long as he’s been acting unlike himself,” she answered.
“Oh. You seem to know him rather well.”
“Naw, only the basics. He keeps the important stuff to those he really cares for. Okay, I think we’ve gotten everything. I pulled out what extras I could find so you could choose.”
I couldn’t get that out of my head. She said he didn’t trust people so easily, and yet, it felt as if he had trusted me so much. How else would he have gone so far as to tell me about himself? It was a confusing, slightly frightening thought that occupied me while I followed behind the others.
Darkness was falling, we weren’t soaked, but the cold lingered up against our skin. I knew I only wanted to get inside, eat something and disappear into the dorm I had all to myself. As a Slytherin, I knew little actual interaction like I had with this boisterous, friendly group of people, and quite frankly, it had been a little overwhelming for me.
“Have fun?”
I felt his breath brush my cheek and tickle my ear as he leaned in with a hand on my shoulder. Smiling despite myself, I turned my head to glance at him in the encroaching night.
“Of course. Margaret is quite the character,” I remarked dryly, looking at the girl as she walked ahead of us. There was a bounce in her step, an energy that I could sense even from where I lagged behind.
His answering chuckle sent a shiver down my spine. It seemed so intimate in the low softness of sound, in the way it brushed across my face from his closeness.
“You’re cold,” said he. Ted must have felt my shiver from where his arm still draped across my shoulders.
It was far from the truth, but I nodded. “Only a little,” I answered.
He shrugged out of his coat quickly and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Any better? I suppose it’d be useless to ask you for a walk in the snow then?”
His words made me smile and shake my grin at the mock disappointment. “Perhaps another time. I’ve spent far too much time outside in the company of others,” I joked, being only half serious.
His blue eyed gaze dropped to mine with all seriousness. “A loner, huh?”
I shrugged, feeling the weight of his arm even more with the movement. It was comforting, despite my attempt to resist it. “Let’s just say I’m not a girl used to much contact of any kind with people.”
“Is this too much?” he asked with an indication to his arm, the concerned lift of his eyebrows making me feel slightly guilty.
I shook my head vehemently, knowing I was speaking only the truth. “Not at all; it’s… rather… um… comforting,” I managed to say, ducking my head as I spoke. Raised as I was, I was not quite comfortable speaking about my feelings out loud. I had been taught to do so was to open one’s self for attack. No matter my upbringing, I couldn’t see this caring Hufflepuff as being the kind of person to take advantage of another’s confession.
Ted smiled down at me in obvious pleasure and relief. His face was barely separable from the surrounding darkness. Night was almost upon us, only the faintest glow at the horizon suggesting any kind of bright light. It is clichéd, but this feeling unlike any other came over me. I felt drawn to him, felt myself taking a step closer to him as our paces slowed.
We stopped on the path to the castle, the sounds of the group ahead getting softer and softer as they grew farther away. My eyes met his, and I saw a bolder reflection of my own sensations there. He knew what he wanted, I could see that in his eyes, and he knew exactly how he felt. Ted wasn’t fighting it as I was, for the fire burned freely in his blue eyes.
Dropping my head, I closed my eyes, that image of his intense gaze imprinted in my mind. No one had ever looked at me with that strength or probing. I didn’t even know what to say to him. Silence ensued, a silence filled only with the faded, distant sounds of our previous group.
“We ought to get inside. I don’t want you getting ill,” he said, finally breaking the silence in a soft whisper.
I nodded, feeling my forehead brush his shoulder. It startled me that we were so close, and I took an involuntary step backwards. There was a flicker of something across his face at my action, but he smiled down at me kindly within moments. Perhaps it was just my imagination, acting up on this very strange day. So much had happened…
“How many are left of Slytherin?” he asked.
I shrugged again. Keeping tabs on my fellows was the least of my priorities. “I don’t know. A few first and second years I think. Maybe a fifth year. There’s about four or five of us in all.”
“Perhaps you’d like to join us? During Holidays, we all stay in the common room like a giant sleepover. There’s too many for one dorm room, and too few to use all of them.”
My eyes flew up to see his face, only visible as the castle lights hit it. He was looking straight ahead, his thick messy hair falling into his eyes. “Okay,” I answered hesitantly. “But I’m wearing my own clothes this time,” I added as an afterthought.
Ted laughed, his rumble going through my body in a way that had me on edge. I couldn’t believe I was letting this happen. All my life, I had kept to myself; trusted only myself with my well being. Yet, here I was trusting Ted with more than he knew.
“Fair enough. I’ll wait for you then, my little confused rainbow,” he teased me, looking down at my mismatched clothes.
I laughed, startled at the endearment. “All right, I suppose that’ll work.”
The rest of the walk was spent in a companionable silence, his arm and jacket wrapped loosely around my shoulders as I snuck glances at him through the cover of shadows.
Unbidden, as I looked at Ted for what felt like the millionth time, Raphael’s face came to mind. I couldn’t help but compare them. Raphael had never touched me without the hope of getting something out of it. Ted would never, I was sure of it, use me for his advantage. I bit my lip at another thought, one that caused me some distress. My family would be all over this once they knew, especially Raphael. He would be more than mad…
The door to the Slytherin stairs appeared and I slipped from everything that was Ted into the world I knew so well. The dark stairwell wasn’t damp, but I hurried down it anyways. Dashing through the common room, I slipped into my empty dorm and closed the door behind me.
It was the greatest relief to be alone at last, even if for only a little bit. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my breathing rushed through my lungs. If it was such a relief, why was I so spooked to be here alone?
Shaking my head at my foolishness, I went to my trunk, pulling out my dressing robe, a cloak and a pair of pajamas. I put on the pajamas, trying to take my time, but knowing I dressed faster than usual. Grabbing the discarded mismatched clothes, I pushed them into an empty laundry bag; I would take them back to Margaret later. I slipped my feet into my slippers, drew the dressing gown around me, and settled the cloak over my shoulders.
I ignored the mess I left behind, and fairly ran out of the Slytherin quarters, through the spooky, shadowy common room, and up the claustrophobic staircase. Bursting through the door, I dashed back to Ted’s side, smiling at his startled look.
“It’s just a tad spooky down there at night,” I said in way of explanation. I didn’t mention that I missed his presence which had become so permanent at my side through the day.
He chuckled and drew me close to his side. Instantly, I felt myself relax. I marveled at my reaction as he guided me to the Hufflepuff common room.
Soon, I found myself settled with my back against a fluffy couch, a pillow in my lap and a blanket draped around my legs. The fire crackled in the fireplace, lighting up the circle of faces around me. I recognized a few of them as Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, though the majority was Hufflepuff. Shaking my head faintly, I couldn’t believe I was sitting here with all of them.
Ted was beside me, more sprawling that sitting, his weight a constant against my leg. Everyone’s voices overlapped, excitement running through the group like a wild fire. Margaret was talking to an energetic blonde and the guy whose arm draped over her shoulder. She saw me looking and waved, a motion mirrored by the blonde and her guy moments later.
They were accepting me, I thought with astonishment. My own kind didn’t even accept me. People were completely right when they described the Hufflepuffs as misfits. They didn’t fit anywhere else, but that worked for them. I could see that now as I looked around the circle.
“Why so quiet?” his voice was husky as it blew into my ear.
I jumped; it was unavoidable in my surprise. Smiling guiltily, I looked down into his face. “I was thinking about how you Hufflepuffs really are a group of great big misfits,” I teased.
“Hey! We’re not misfits. We fit in just fine,” he protested, pretending offense.
I giggled and shook my head, watching as my long hair brushed his face. “Yes, you are, but it works for you. You’ll accept anyone because there isn’t much of a standard,” I answered, completely serious despite my joking tone.
“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong. We do have standards.”
“What are those, good sir? Pray tell me please.”
He rolled over onto his back, his head finding its way onto my lap and pushing the pillow out of its way. “A good heart, a generous nature, patience, loyalty, and hard working. If those aren’t standards, I don’t know what are.” Ted grinned, pleased with himself, I could tell.
“Ah, I see. And would you say I meet these standards?” I asked, serious still.
Ted’s hand ran down the length of my calf absently as he appeared to consider me. “Well, I suppose you must have quite a bit of loyalty for your family. You’ve obviously got patience. You have been very generous to me, and your heart seems well. As for hard working… We may have to work on that,” he joked.
I glanced at his roaming hand where it ran up and down my leg lightly. It seemed Ted was a very physical kind of person. Looking back at him, I laughed at his jesting. I sniffed daintily. “I work very hard, and I’ll thank you to remember that.”
His laughter vibrated through his back and against my leg, making me laugh at the feeling. “Proud as ever, and very pretty by firelight,” he remarked, his gaze straying to Margaret across the circle.
I felt my stomach drop in disappointment. He surely wasn’t talking about me, no matter what Margaret had said about me being the one he couldn’t stop thinking of. “Yes, she is very pretty.”
His blue eyes left the brunette and looked at me with a flicker of disbelief in them. Ted opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and then opened it again. He didn’t seem to know what to say, though I could tell he did have something to say.
“Errr, well I suppose Margaret is pretty in her own way… She, um, wasn’t the one I was, erm, referring to,” he finally managed to get out, looking a little uncomfortable.
I bit my lip, wondering who it was that had his attention. “But she said th”” I started before I cut off at his look. “Who, then?”
The slight darkening of his cheeks in the golden firelight seemed to imply that he was blush. I grinned down at him, touching his temple lightly with my fingertips.
“I was referring to you, Andromeda Black.”
His words stopped the circular motions my fingers had begun to make, and I looked down at his face. “What?” I asked stupidly.
A soft smile touched his lips, and his free hand rose to smooth hair from my cheek. I wanted to lean into his touch and jerk away from it all at the same time. I settled for sitting as still as I could.
“You; I think you’re stunning, a girl attractive in more ways than the physical,” he stated calmly.
It was as if he was unaware of what he was saying. Didn’t he know, that if Raphael found out about this, he’d be toast? I stared at him blankly, unsure of how long, before I grabbed the hand at my cheek gently and placed it down on his chest. The motion of his breathing was strong and smooth underneath my hand, and I looked at it curiously. How could he be so calm? I felt like hyperventilating in panic at the mere thought of Raphael finding out.
“Perhaps we, um, ought to get some sleep now,” I said in response. In his eyes, I saw that same strange flicker, almost reminiscent of disappointment. There wasn’t any way for me to let him down though, and so, I convinced myself that I only imagined it there.
He turned his head towards the fire, his eyes staring blindly ahead. I wondered what he was thinking, whether he thought I was a coward or if he thought less of me now.
Hesitantly, I stroked his hair with light fingers, doing it once, twice, then three times before I felt confident enough that he didn’t mind. Ted’s eyes fell closed under my gentle ministrations, his long, muscular body relaxing as he drifted into sleep. Around us, the others were burrowing into blankets with sleepy murmurs. I tugged a second pillow over to my side, and threw as much of my blanket over Ted’s prone body.
For a long while, I sat there thinking over my day. There was so much to consider, it was staggering. Was it really possible to find a true friend in the young man who lay sprawled in my lap? Was there perhaps even more than friendship between us? I knew just how my family would react, especially with Bella’s joining the ranks of the Death Eaters. Would Ted care about their opposition? Would I be strong enough to withstand it? As long as my thoughts grew, my eyes grew ever heavier, and my mind grew ever fuzzier…
A Little Lighter Than Black by kritchen
Chapter Endnotes: It will be a while before I get any new chapters up. I have finals and drivers ed and cleaning to do first and formost. I just wanted to let all of you know that there will be quite a wait for the next couple chapters. Hopefully less than two months.