A little more than a fortnight had passed since the first meeting, and in following it, two meetings had occurred. Not much had been established in these two meetings besides the ambiguity of Voldemort’s and the Death Eaters’ whereabouts, as well as who was even a Death Eater to begin with.
Dumbledore’s appearances were few and far between, and amidst his absence many opinions and ideas were formed. Usually said opinions were shunted aside at the arrival of the venerable man and replaced with his own ideas which seemed to be widely worshiped as the omnipresent overview of every man and woman in the group. There were those select few, Sirius included, who believed Dumbledore’s lack of action to be a submission to Voldemort’s heightening power. So, as Sirius always did, he spoke his opinion widely and clearly, which gained the support of others, while ostracising the devout believers in everything that Dumbledore said as universal truth.
Sirius so openly voicing his opinions seemed to cause a flurry of surprise in the other members of the Order, as they were still not used to him being a free and innocent man. Others were warming up rather quickly, his young cousin Tonks included, but there were those whose lasting prejudices never seemed to fade.
On one particularly warm and slow day, Remus and Sirius sat in the drawing room for lack of better scenery. The room was dusty, to say the least. It had years of infestations lurking in hidden corners and shut cupboards. Many different jewels and decorations hung and sat within glass-faced cabinets, across from which a tapestry hung. The tapestry was not grandiose to certain standards, but it was magnificent as the house was. It had branches weaving through the descending heads of family members. However, some spots were blown away, singed around the edge as if burnt.
Sirius stared at one hole in particular, one hole that had caused his blood to boil as a child. This spot, frayed from abandonment and faded as the rest of the tapestry, was burning into his mind as he stared at it. Strings lingered across the gape, seemingly holding onto something that had long passed by.
He turned away suddenly, his thoughts broken by a commotion by the door. A boy had entered, followed closely by a girl with bushy brown hair. Apparently the argument was over the exertion that was needed for their job against lack of interest in said job.
“Hermione, we can skate over it. My mum isn’t going to notice,” the tall redhead moaned.
“It’s not about doing the work, Ron, it’s about making this place inhabitable. Now”Oh, hello,” Hermione replied to Ron’s mangled whines before interrupting herself at the sight of the two men.
Sirius’ face lit up with amusement, his morose thoughts vanishing from his mind. “Hello, Hermione, Ron. Glad to see you can join us on this lovely day of dusting, don’t you agree, Remus?”
Remus stood from his seat beside the tapestry and moved beside Sirius. He nodded his head and grinned. “You two will be doing it the Muggle way since you aren’t of age yet.” He paused, his merry eyes shifting to Sirius. “Good luck to the both of you; I don’t remember how to use a duster. Pathetic, eh?”
“I can show you then, Professor!” Hermione replied brightly. “I live in a Muggle house, after all.”
Grabbing the grey feather dusters lying on the table, she handed one to Ron and another two to Remus and Sirius. Placing an extra on the table, she gripped her duster firmly in her hand. Sirius watched in amusement as the girl instructed the three on how to properly banish dust from surfaces. In no time at all, the foursome was moving around the room, sweeping their dusters around and effectively clearing the room of dust.
Sirius stared at the small device in his hand with incredulity. He couldn’t believe he was actually manually dusting this large room when he had the option to simply charm it away. It was all in fun and games, he supposed, as he finished off the fireplace mantle.
A cloud of particularly angry dust puffed into his face as Remus swept his duster violently towards Sirius with a flourish. Coughing from his coated nostrils, Sirius let out a bark of laughter as Remus’ mischievous grin met his eyes. Retaliating, Sirius, pushing the remaining dust in Remus’ direction, caused Remus’ eyes to widen before he erupted in a raspy string of coughs.
“I think,” he rasped, “the dusting is finished.” Sirius’ laughter continued as Ron’s look of relief overwhelmed his features.
Hermione turned to look at Remus, who was now bent double with his coughing fit. “Are you all right, Professor?”
“Please, call me Remus.” He looked up, his eyes watering. “I’m fine.” His coughing fit ensued.
“Are you sure he’s okay?” Hermione asked Sirius, her voice laced with worry as she glanced back and forth between the two men.
Sirius grinned. “If he can correct how someone addresses him, I’m sure he’s fine. It’ll pass.”
Remus stood up, his eyes still watering, and lifted his wand. “Aguamenti,” he whispered, turning his wand so the water shot in his opened mouth. After a moment, he straightened up, wiped his eyes, and cleared his throat.
“Yes, I’m fine, thanks very much, Hermione,” Remus said, his coughing finally ceased. “No thanks to Sirius.”
“All right then, I’m getting lunch,” Ron announced at the opportune moment, clapping his hands together. “Any one want to join me?”
“I am rather hungry,” Hermione agreed.
“Sounds good to me. Haven’t had anything but tea this morning,” Remus replied. Moving to follow Ron and Hermione’s retreating backs, Remus turned to make sure Sirius was going to join them.
“Are you coming, Sirius?”
Sirius had taken station in front of the great tapestry, staring at all those who shared his blood. Being in this house had gotten better, even if only marginally. Having others around was a definite catalyst in helping Sirius shunt out the old memories, but the more painful still lingered.
“I watched her blast me off this. My own mother,” Sirius muttered, his eyes bouncing from singe to singe. “Most of us didn’t even have a choice to be on here any longer. Marius was a squib, three of them married the wrong person, and the rest supported the wrong cause.” He sighed, his eyes lingering over where his head should have been before he turned his back to the tapestry.
Remus raised his eyebrows, his question still unanswered. Knowing that Remus was a tried and true soldier who had marched through the Black family’s many confined wars by Sirius’ side, the latter took the silence as simply that. There was no more comfort that could be offered to a hole that would never quite heal.
“Yes, coming.”
*
The kitchen smelled mouth-watering, the delicious aroma of baked goods and meat somehow managing to completely mask the underlying scent of decaying wood. Molly’s cooking never ceased to amaze anyone.
The Weasleys and Hermione had already finished their meals, and Sirius had moved to the library in search of a good book, leaving Remus behind to make tea. Remus knew that Sirius was having a difficult time being confined within the walls of his old home. He understood it, the painful memories that came along with certain surroundings. It was an emotion that was very prominent in his vault of memories.
As a student at Hogwarts, Remus had always been confined in the Shrieking Shack as a werewolf. The damages of his latest visit would haunt him in the forms of broken furniture and boarded up windows. On the nights that his three friends had joined him, they would break away from the Shack and run free through the forests.
An idea suddenly hit Remus like a hippogriff at high speed. He would escape to the forest, so Sirius could escape to the outside world. He knew it would be dangerous. Almost too dangerous. Surely there were Death Eaters keeping watch on this house”what if they saw a shaggy-haired dog loping around outside? Peter must have told You-Know-Who what form Sirius took by now.
Of course it was too risky.
Remus finished stirring the honey into his tea and absentmindedly clinked the spoon on the cup’s edge to dry it. Picking up the petite china, he walked to the library, the thoughts of escape still fresh on his mind. Sirius would forever be grateful to him if he helped him sneak out for just a few hours. Feeling like his was a seventeen-year-old formulating a secret escape plan, he made his final decision. Only if Sirius was up for it of course.
Opening the door to the library, he spotted Sirius on the far side. He was sitting, legs crossed, with a book resting lightly in his hand. His face was so different than the face Remus remembered from their childhood. A wave of woes swept through his body, and for some reason, the feeling of ripening age hit him. When they were younger, it had seemed nothing could stop them, not Filch or Severus Snape, but now everything had changed.
It was like they had been on a fast, rather flat rollercoaster. It would hit its bumps and falls every so often, but they were minor bumps, bumps that did not affect the next day. When they had still been young and lively, everything had hit a terrible standstill. All of Remus’ friends had seemingly died to him. At least to his presence. And now he had his Sirius, the one that deep down meant the most to him. The differences were great, but he could still see his childhood lover beneath the wrinkles and weariness.
His Sirius was still alive, and it was up to him to let him run free.
“Remus, you want to stop lingering by the door and have a seat? You look a bit frightened,” Sirius said, shaking Remus from his reverie.
Sitting down, Remus felt his face was still frozen in the apparent look of fright, but he couldn’t shake it. He felt the sudden urge to do something dangerous or daring. Everything had been too stagnant for too long.
“You want to get out?” Remus treaded carefully, his voice to unsure for such a radical topic.
“Out?” Sirius hedged, the old gleam creeping up in his eyes. “What exactly is this “out” you speak of?”
Remus cleared his throat; he hadn’t remembered the last time he’d felt this reckless, or if he’d ever felt this reckless before. The logically part of his mind was screaming for him to back out now, erase all Sirius’ hopes of a bit of fresh air, but his love for Sirius pushed him forward. After years of his own secret being locked up inside, he had revelled in setting himself free. If only Sirius could be set free for life.
“The outdoors,” Remus announced. His head spun with the idea of the heinous repercussions this simple action could have. “And not the backyard.”
Sirius froze. “Are you insane, Remus?” His voice held no accusation, instead there was the excitement of breaking the rules bouncing in his erupting voice.
“I think so, yes.”
“What if Death Eaters are watching the house?” The idea of getting caught seemed to only make Sirius more excited. “They have to know my form by now. What with that treacherous rat telling Voldemort.”
Remus stayed silent. He couldn’t tell if this plan would ruin all the Order had worked for in keeping Sirius a secret, or if it would be a simple walk in the park. What if they could pull it off?
“You could put a Disillusionment Charm on yourself so you would be relatively hidden and I could go as a dog,” Sirius formulated his plan through clenched, excited teeth. “Just a few minutes away so I could possibly get a glimpse of a human in the outside world to convince me that, in fact, the world has not dissolved around me.”
Remus nodded, the excitement of the plan weaving through his numb veins. He couldn’t even remember his doubts as he looked at Sirius’ face. The rush of childhood swooped through his body at the sight of the rejuvenated man in front of him.
“Well, let’s go then!” Sirius said in response to Remus’ silence. He seemed to be ignoring the idea that Remus could be second-guessing his insane idea.
As Sirius marched towards the door, the possible consequences finally came crashing down one Remus. He felt like he had just sobered from a drunken night.
“Wait, Sirius. This isn’t a good idea,” Remus began, trying to convince the crazy side of his brain that he did indeed have a conscience. “There are far too many things that could go wrong. Think of everything everyone has done and risked for you in order to keep your location private. You’re risking being jailed again.”
Sirius turned, his eyes burning with desire for freedom. “It was your idea, Remus. Come on.”
Remus’ feet remained planted on the floor; the rebellious side of his brain was doing a very good job at taking over the logical part. On top of that, the look of utter joy that was staring him straight in the face was so hard to turn down, he didn’t know if his feeble voice of reason was going to last much longer.
“We won’t get caught,” Sirius began again. “I just know it. I promise we won’t stay out for much more than ten minutes. Come on. Just put one foot in front of the other. All you have to do is sit on the front step.”
At the idea of Sirius staying in the square only for a few minutes, the rebellious side finally took over and Remus was sold. Only for a few minutes, though.
“All right, but””
Remus was silenced by Sirius’ mouth as he bounded over and gave him an exuberant kiss, laced with adrenaline and excitement.
“Please,” Remus uttered when Sirius pulled away, “be careful. It’s all I ask. At the first sign, or whiff, in your case, of anyone, we have to immediately go inside. Can you handle that?”
“Of course. I’m not completely reckless,” Sirius’ fading voice replied as he hurried out of the library and down the hall to the front door. By the time Remus had followed his footsteps, he was looking into the panting face of a dog.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this, or that no one else has seen us yet,” Remus muttered as he tapped his head with his wand. His body instantly shimmered out of sight. “All right, let’s get this over with.”
Sirius’ panting tempo increased as Remus shoved the door open. Squinting his eyes in the bright sunlight, Remus did as was planned and sat on the front steps. Sirius immediately ran out to the open square and jumped around, barking and chasing his tail. Apparently, he caught sight of a butterfly as he proceeded to jump alarmingly high in the air and snap his jaw. After a tiring ten minutes, he flopped to the ground and let out a huge sigh. Remus couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Sirius acting like his old self. It was remarkably refreshing.
Remus watched as Sirius rolled himself onto his back, shaking his body to scratch. As suddenly as all had gone calm, Sirius jumped to his feet. His head jerked towards Remus as he held his nose high in the air. Immediately understanding the gesture, Remus stood up. Sirius came bounding to the door faster than Remus could turn around and began scratching his thick claws across the old wood. Lunging forwards, Remus threw the door open, allowing Sirius to slip though the small opening just as a man appeared around the corner of the street. Stepping inside so only his head was poking out, Remus squinted at the man in attempt to get a better look at him.
“Remus, get inside! I can’t even see you in the darkness,” Sirius muttered frantically as he tapped his wand on Remus’ head to reverse the Disillusionment Charm. He pulled Remus away from the door and closed it. “Did you recognise him?”
The hallway almost seemed too quiet as Sirius stared at Remus with bright, anxious eyes. It seemed as if the thrill of escape had not worn off, even in the moment of uncertainty. Remus shook his head just as the doorbell let out a shrill ring. They looked at each other in alarm. It definitely had not been a member of the Order that Remus had seen. The shrieks of Sirius’ mother didn’t faze Remus as he shunted Sirius into a side room and prepared to open the door.
As he grasped the handle, he mentally shook himself. The only reason he was so keyed up was because they had just broken the rules. This was most likely someone who had just Apparated here, and the man from around the corner was probably just walking home.
Pushing the door open, a tremor ran down his body, it was the same man from around the corner.
Just as he began to slam the door shut, the man put his hand out and said, “Wait! It’s me.”
“Tonks?” Remus and Sirius said at the same time.