Narcissa waited in the shadow of a stunted yew. The day was overcast and windy; she hoped that it would not rain, at least not until she was safely back indoors. She could not explain why she was here, even to herself, but something -- curiosity, maybe, or perhaps her long-lost empathy -- had compelled her to come. She doubted she would be welcomed, however, so she made sure to stay hidden. She wished she still had her wand. A Disillusionment charm would have been handy, but there was no helping that now. The Aurors had made sure that the Malfoys had no access to magic.
In the distance her sister -- and it was strange to think that Andromeda was now her only sister -- stood at the foot of two open graves, clutching an infant tightly. Narcissa could hear the boy’s cries all the way over here; he seemed to know that they were there to lay his parents to rest. Harry Potter, the Chosen-Boy-Who-Still-Lived, was off to the side with his head bowed in grief. The Muggle-born girl -- Narcissa was careful to never say –Mudblood†now, not even in her thoughts -- had a hand on his arm. The entire Weasley clan stood around them.
Well, the Weasley clan minus one. The paper had announced that his funeral was tomorrow.
Narcissa could see Andromeda’s shoulders shaking with sobs. Proper witches were to remain upright and stoic, even in the face of great trial; weeping, at least in public, was supposed to be beneath them. But Narcissa considered how she would feel if this were Draco’s funeral, and she had to admit that she would probably be in much worse shape than her sister.
She had been willing to betray everything to keep her son safe. She wondered if Andromeda would have done the same for her daughter.
Narcissa had never understood her sister. Andromeda had always been headstrong; she and their parents had clashed all through her childhood. Bellatrix had followed their parents’ chosen path and married Rodolphus, and when Narcissa’s time had come she had married Lucius without complaint. It didn’t matter that she didn’t love him. Feelings might come in time, her mother had told her. (Her mother had been right.) What mattered was that Lucius was a handsome pureblood, and that together they would produce pureblood children.
But Andromeda had absolutely refused to consider an arranged marriage. Even at sixteen she was determined to marry Ted Tonks, that ridiculous Muggle-born fool, and she had ostracized herself from the rest of the family when they refused to accept her decision. When they went their separate ways Narcissa had missed her, but not enough to make contact and risk her family’s displeasure. Andromeda had followed her own path, and there was no going back.
Now Andromeda’s husband was gone. So were her daughter and werewolf son-in-law. (She still didn’t understand why Andromeda had allowed a werewolf into the family, but after all, this was Andromeda. Her choices had never made any sense.) Andromeda was alone now except for an infant, but she had the respect of the Wizarding world and an army of friends to help her. Narcissa’s family was intact, but they were disgraced, despised by the very people they had once commanded. She wasn’t sure which would be the worse potion to swallow in the long run.
The coffins were covered with earth now, and the mourners were breaking apart into smaller groups. Narcissa stayed hidden and waited for them to leave. She didn’t think she could bear it if they knew she was here, especially Potter. She had lied on his behalf out of necessity, but that would never mean she liked him. It was his fault that Lucius had gone to Azkaban. It was his fault the Dark Lord had tasked Draco with such an impossible mission, a mission that was designed to get her son killed.
Potter had promised to make sure her family was protected from attackers and treated fairly by the courts. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
No one seemed keen to leave Andromeda alone; everyone had to speak to her, to offer condolences or fawn over the baby. Narcissa remembered those reactions; everyone had done the same to her after the death of her mother. Draco had been a newborn then.
Andromeda’s family had been told not to come.
The wind was wicked today. There was a rumble of thunder in the distance, but Narcissa waited patiently. She still did not know why she had come, but since she was here now she wanted to speak to Andromeda. It might be the last time she had the opportunity. There was no telling what her future held; the new Ministry was still organizing itself, but it was probably a matter of days -- maybe even hours -- until Magical Law Enforcement got their act together and came for her family. Narcissa knew that she, Lucius, and Draco would have already left the country if they had still owned wands. As it was, they would have to face the consequences of their actions. It was not something she looked forward to. Her greatest relief was that the new regime would be reluctant to have dementors at Azkaban.
At long last, Potter and the Weasleys departed. Andromeda was alone but for the baby. She had probably asked everyone else to leave.
Narcissa felt the first drops of rain begin to fall. Steeling herself for whatever might come, she left the yew tree and approached her sister with the wind roaring in her ears.
Andromeda did not notice her until she was standing next to the fresh graves. Her eyes widened a bit, but she made no comment upon seeing Narcissa there.
Perhaps this would go well after all.
–Hello, ‘Dromeda,†Narcissa said softly.
They stood in silence for a moment, both contemplating the twin headstones. Andromeda rocked her grandson silently, her face a mask; only the tears on her cheeks revealed her inner turmoil. The wind whipped their robes to and fro, oblivious to their discomfort.
–You haven’t been arrested yet?†Andromeda finally asked.
–Not yet. But I suppose it’s only a matter of time.†Narcissa offered no further explanation; none was needed.
Scattered drops of rain fell around them; one of them fell on the baby’s face, and Andromeda wiped it off with her sleeve. –What are you doing here, Cissy?†she asked wearily.
What was she doing here? She still didn’t know.
–If this was Draco’s funeral,†she finally said, –I think I would want my sister beside me.â€
–I stopped being your sister years ago,†Andromeda scoffed. –You haven’t claimed me as a relative since I married Ted.â€
Narcissa hesitated. Could she even admit this out loud?
–I never liked the way things ended between us,†she said in a rush.
–Really,†Andromeda answered. Her voice was utterly emotionless.
–I missed you. Even Bella --â€
–Don’t even mention her in front of me,†Andromeda hissed, glaring at Narcissa.
–You may not like who she became, but surely you still remember the little girl you loved,†Narcissa said reprovingly. –Azkaban ruined her.â€
–Bellatrix was ruined long before Azkaban,†Andromeda said angrily. –Or did you forget why she was sent there? Did you forget the pet puffskeins she tortured even as a child?†She took a shuddering breath. –Bellatrix murdered my daughter. She sought out her own flesh and blood, made my grandson an orphan, and did it with a laugh. I would happily kill her a thousand times if I could.â€
Narcissa’s breath caught in her throat. –Bellatrix did this?†she choked.
–Yes,†Andromeda whispered, her face pursed in hatred. –So you will forgive me for cursing her memory.â€
Narcissa felt as if she had received a physical blow. She had known Bellatrix was unhinged and dangerous and that she had wanted her niece dead, but she had never believed Bella would actually go so far as to deliver the killing blow.
–How did you not know that already?†Andromeda asked scathingly. –You were there.â€
That was an easy question. –I wasn’t paying attention to anything but finding my son.â€
–Finally figured out your master cared nothing for him, did you?â€
Narcissa felt a warm flush creeping up her neck. –I’ve known that since Lucius went to Azkaban.â€
Andromeda did not reply, and the wind howled on.
Had Bella really been as cruel as Andromeda remembered? Would she really laugh while she cut down her own flesh and blood? As if from a dream, she remembered a conversation from months ago….
–Many of our oldest family trees become a little diseased over time…. You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy? Cut away those parts that threaten the rest.â€
To which Bella had replied, –Yes, my Lord…. At the first chance!â€
Narcissa felt as though she had been plunged into ice. She knew that loved ones often saw each other through rose-tinted glasses, but now the glasses had been removed, and Andromeda was right. Bella had killed for the fun of it. She would have murdered Nymphadora Tonks at the first opportunity, and she would have believed she was doing the world a favor.
Narcissa choked back a sob. It was painful to realize that she loved a monster.
–It’s hardly fair, you know,†Andromeda said suddenly. –How is it that you and Lucius manage to worm your way out of everything?†Her voice was rising angrily. –You tortured Muggles and murdered good people and did who knows what else, and yet you are able to walk away untouched! Your brat is alive and well, and my daughter is -- is --â€
Andromeda’s face screwed up and she was sobbing outright, shoulders hunched against the pain. Narcissa bit back a scathing reply and instead reached out and placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder. She was relieved when Andromeda did not turn away.
–You say we’re untouched, but you have no idea,†Narcissa said when Andromeda’s crying ceased. –You have no idea whatsoever. Even before the Dark Lord returned, I lived in fear that Lucius would do something awful that would break our family apart. I can’t even remember the last time I was not terrified.â€
Andromeda looked her in the eye. –Neither can I,†she said softly. –But be glad, Narcissa. You may rot in Azkaban, but your son is alive.†She gestured to the graves. –I don’t think I would wish this on anyone, not even you.â€
The baby stirred fretfully, and Andromeda made soothing noises to shush him. Narcissa looked down at the graves once more while her sister rocked the baby to and fro. For a moment she felt a deep pang of regret that she would never know this boy’s mother, but she abruptly pushed it aside. It was far too late to dwell on that.
She had enough regrets as it was.
Andromeda used a free hand to wipe her eyes. –How did we get here, Cissy?†she whispered, voice shaking.
–You made your choices, and I made mine. But you should know,†Narcissa said, –I - I never wanted this.â€
–Maybe this would not have happened if you had ever thought for yourself. What choices did you ever make on your own?†Andromeda asked. –You let our parents decide on everything, and then when you married Lucius he took over from them. You never made up your own mind about anything, Narcissa, and look where it’s got you.â€
Narcissa could find nothing to say. Was Andromeda right?
Almost. The only times she had developed a backbone were those when she had tried to save her son.
–I’m a widow and a grieving mother,†Andromeda whispered. She shook her head sadly. –But I would still rather have my life than yours. At least I have actually lived.â€
She abruptly turned around and stalked toward the church. Narcissa knew that stance, and realized that it would do no good to follow. Their meeting was over.
She stared at the graves again… two young people who had risked everything to topple the people like her from their pedestals. Two people who had embraced the little time left to them and made a child, just to leave it behind. It was too much to think about. It was time to leave.
–Bolly?†she said quietly.
CRACK! A house-elf in a pillowcase appeared next to her. –Miss is ready to go home now?†he asked squeakily, shivering in the wind.
–Yes….â€
Narcissa watched her sister’s retreating back sadly. She doubted there would be any more encounters in the future. As was usual, Andromeda had chosen her path… and Narcissa could not follow.
She dashed the tears from her eyes. She was years too late to follow Andromeda anywhere.
–Goodbye, ‘Dromeda,†she whispered.
She grabbed onto the hand Bolly offered, and they disappeared together just as the rain began to fall in earnest.