~Chapter 18- Escape and Encounter~

We returned to Hogwarts on the Knight Bus, escorted by Dora and Lupin. Though I was somewhat happy to return to school, I was going to miss everyone, especially Sirius. The D.A. meetings were the only thing worth going back for, really, considering Umbridge and our upcoming O.W.L.s (extra homework and studying, how fun).

January went by normally. Luckily, Umbridge didn't issue any decrees and, so far, had not sacked any teachers. The homework load was increasing, though, but that wasn't anything new. When February arrived, everyone around school talked about Valentine's Day, which was during a Hogsmeade weekend. Obviously I wasn't going with anyone, but I still planned on going to Hogsmeade.

I had no idea what was coming, but a few weeks before Valentine's Day, I would receive the biggest shock of my life.

It was during breakfast. The owls came with the usual mail and newspapers. Hermione got the Daily Prophet and as soon as she opened her copy she yelped loudly. As she smoothed out the paper; I glanced over at the front page article. Immediately I gasped. There were ten black-and-white photos, each with a sinister-looking face. Most of them were jeering or simply looking bored. The headline said, ‘Mass breakout from Azkaban: Ministry fears Black is "rallying point" for old Death Eaters.'

I looked at the first picture. It showed a sneering, twisted-faced man. Underneath was a caption that said, "Antonin Dolohov, convicted of the brutal murders of Gideon and Fabian Prewett."[*] Beneath the caption was another picture with another wizard's face. His caption said, "Augustus Rookwood, convicted of leaking Ministry of Magic Secrets to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."[**]

But the three pictures below that made my heart jump. Each one was labeled with the name of that person as well as the crime, which was the same for all three. The first one I looked at was labeled ‘Rabastan Lestrange.' Underneath that was Rodolphus Lestrange.

And underneath that was the one that made me gasp again. It was Bellatrix.

I thought of the photo I had of my parents in my nightstand drawer. Mentally comparing it to these, I decided that Rodolphus didn't look much different. His face was paler and gaunt-looking, but his general appearance was the same as I'd seen it.

But Bellatrix...the pictures I'd seen of her showed her as being beautiful with shining black hair. But in the photo in the paper, her hair was wild and uncared for, as though she hadn't brushed it, let alone cut it, in years. Her face was sunken and hollow and she had a gleam of insanity in her eyes.

I'd been too preoccupied looking at the pictures of the escaped Death Eaters that I forgot about the caption underneath. Instantaneously my bewilderment was replaced by a split-second of excitement-I was about to find out why my parents had been arrested once and for all.

I read the caption and immediately my excitement vanished. I froze and felt all energy drain from me. It said, "Bellatrix Lestrange, convicted of the torture and permanent incapacitation of Frank and Alice Longbottom."[**]

That was it. Longbottom. Neville's parents. My parents had tortured them into insanity. I lost all sense of feeling at that moment. All I could do was stare at the page with my unfocused eyes. I felt faint and nauseous, not to mention unable to breathe.

Was I having a heart attack? If shock could cause one, maybe. An asthma attack? No, I didn't have asthma. Maybe I had suddenly become paralyzed and couldn't move anymore. No, nothing had physically hurt me. I had just gone into severe shock.

"Lindsey?" I heard my name. Someone was talking...

"Is she all right?"

"Lindsey?" a hand flew in front of my face. Something at the back of my mind told me it was Hermione.

"I think she needs to see Madam Pomfrey," someone else said.

"Lindsey, do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

I opened my mouth. No sound came out.

"Ginny, help me take her up there," Hermione said. Before I realized it, two people had grabbed my arms and pulled me out of my seat. They carried me out of the Hall and all the way to the hospital wing on the fourth floor.

"Where's Madam Pomfrey?" I heard Ginny's voice ask.

"She's still at breakfast!" Hermione exclaimed. "Well, don't panic. We'll just put her on a bed and I'll stay here with her. You get Madam Pomfrey."

I felt myself gently being pushed onto a hospital bed just as I heard footsteps and a door closing. Hermione spoke again.

"Lindsey, what happened?"

"I..." My voice was almost a whisper. "I don't..."

"It didn't have anything to do with the article, did it?"

"It..."

The door flung opened and Madam Pomfrey's voice said, "Out of my way! I'll handle this. You two can return to breakfast."

Her figure appeared in front of me; my eyes weren't blurred anymore. I looked to my left and saw Ginny and Hermione turning to leave with concerned looks. Hermione stepped ahead but Ginny turned around once to look at me, and I swore I saw a look of surprise-even fear?-in her eyes.

The door closed and Madam Pomfrey said, "How do you feel?"

"Faint," I muttered.

"What happened?"

I sat up slightly but she pushed me down with more force than necessary. "I don't know."

"You're a fifth year, right?"

"Yes."

"It must be stress from the homework level. Fifth year is the worst for that."

"Yeah," I said without sounding convincing at all. "It must be."

"I'll get you some potion, but I need you to rest. I can't let you go to class today."

I was happy to obey. As Madam Pomfrey walked off to get the potion, I closed my eyes and instantly visions entered my head. I saw Barty Crouch, Jr. at the end of last year, saying, "You're just like your mother. The Cruciatus Curse was her specialty." I saw Sirius the night I met him as he said, "Ah, they were such idiots. They thought they'd go off and-" I saw Andromeda at Christmas time as she looked into my eyes and said, "It's just not the right time." I saw Hermione at Grimmauld Place when she told about the visit to St. Mungo's, saying, "They were visiting Neville's parents. You see...his parents were tortured into insanity by Voldemort's Death Eaters." I saw Neville at the Yule Ball last year when he said, "My parents, well...it's a long story."

And now I knew the story. I was almost part of the story.

Madam Pomfrey came back. I opened my eyes and drank the potion she gave me, which was bright blue and tasted like soap and hairspray mixed together. Then she told me to lie down and rest, which I did. But those visions kept coming back to me, and I remembered how Barty Crouch, Jr. said all the Death Eaters would escape someday. He had been right.

Just because I was resting didn't mean I was sleeping. I was as far from sleep as I could possibly be. Millions of questions filled my head and I rested in the quiet hospital environment. They kept coming back to me, questions ranging from curiosity about my parents' escape (‘Now that they've escaped, could I possibly meet them?' and ‘If I do, what will happen?') to curiosity about how others were taking this (‘I'm sure I'm the only one who nearly fainted seeing the article, but how did everyone else take it?' and ‘Will people recognize me now? I swore Ginny did...').

I was back in class the following day. Thankfully, not too many people asked about what happened the previous morning in the Great Hall, but more people seemed to stare at me. Whether this was because I'd nearly passed out or because they saw a resemblance between me and the black-and-white photographs, I wasn't sure.

The effect of the breakout didn't just affect me. I'd told Dora about everything, and she said Andromeda had reacted badly as well, which was not surprising.

Within the next few weeks, several things happened. Hagrid had been put on probation, Umbridge had issued a new decree (teachers couldn't give us any information that didn't have to do with the subject they were teaching-clearly due to the Azkaban breakout), and my grades had dropped dramatically. I'd been receiving P's and D's in nearly every subject except Astronomy, but it wasn't my fault I wasn't able to concentrate. In fact, the only thing I actually put effort into was the D.A. meetings.

Finally Valentine's Day arrived. I planned on going to Hogsmeade to get things off my mind and get out of the castle for a bit. But when that day arrived it was completely impossible to get the breakout off my mind because of the wanted posters on every shop. I stayed as far away from these as I could because I didn't want anyone to notice the resemblance between me and my mother or father or even my uncle.

The day was gray and rainy, which went along perfectly with my mood. I didn't dare go into any of the stores. In fact, I stayed as far away from the High Street as possible. All the while I wished that I could be in a warm café drinking butterbeer instead of out in the rainy cold avoiding the world, but after I while I grew used to the rain and let it soak my hair and robes.

I was near the Hog's Head and could see the Shrieking Shack in the distance. I turned the corner onto a country lane when I heard it. Somebody muttered quietly, "Petrificus Totalus!" and I felt my body stiffen and fall. Immobilized, I began to scream (not that there was anyone in the area to hear me) but the voice muttered, "Silencio." I became defenseless.

The voice spoke again and said, "Incarcerous!" and I felt ropes wrap around me in a tight binding. A second later I was being dragged through the snow to the Shrieking Shack, but by what, I wasn't sure.

Even if I hadn't been immobilized, I wouldn't have been able to move. I was fixed with fear-where was I going and who, or what, had attacked me? Well, whatever it was reached the Shrieking Shack and dragged me into it where it wasn't much warmer. I felt the ropes lift and I sat up weakly, sopping wet from rain and snow.

I looked up to see the attacker, getting more and more anxious each moment. Then a solid figure appeared in front of me: a person had dragged me here and they'd been under a Disillusionment Charm. The figure appeared in front of me and I stared back with wide eyes, too immobilized to scream or gasp.

A lethifold, a Hungarian Horntail, or a manticore couldn't have scared me as badly as this sight did.

It was a woman, thin, gaunt-faced with heavily-lidded eyes and wild, untamed dark hair. A nasty smile crossed her lips as she looked at me, apparently amused. I didn't know which emotion was stronger-fear, shock, or even joy-but a second later I'd been yanked off me feet and grasped into a huge hug. When I was released I nearly fell to the wooden floor again, but somehow managed to stay up. Finding my voice at last, I said weakly, "Is...is it really you?"

She smiled that wicked smile again and said in a low voice, "Yes. And stay here. We have a lot of catching up to do."

"Y-you're...you're..." I stammered, but my mouth had gone dry. "B-Bellatrix Lestrange? M-my..." I couldn't say it; the words were too bizarre to me. "My mother?"

"Yes," she said. "You sound unsure. You're not surprised, are you?"

I didn't have the energy to talk. How did I know I wasn't about to be attacked? She was my mother, but on top of that she was a Death Eater who'd been imprisoned for fourteen years. Without delay I remembered those feelings I'd had all my life-how I wanted to meet my parents and know them for who they were. Now I wasn't sure.

"Lyra," she said. "Lyra, Lyra, Lyra. It's great to see you. How are things?"

How could she be so casual? I didn't respond. This was too overwhelming.

"Ah," she said. "Forgive me. I should I explain a few things..."

My astonishment turned to rage at that second and my emotions completely transformed. My voice came to me easily now, and I said, "Forgive you? Forgive you? How can I forgive you? You went out into the world and decided to be stupid! You got locked up! You don't need to explain anything because I already know! You're a Death Eater and carrying out those duties meant more to you than...than watching after your daughter!"

She stared at me with a stunned expression. I felt hot tears of anger on my face now. After building up those emotions for years, they were finally spilling out.

"I always wondered who you were," I went on. "But nobody would tell me why you got locked up. I wanted the truth. I wanted to know who I was!"

"Lyra." She hugged me again, and I could tell she was trying to be comforting. I felt ashamed accepting it. "Let me explain."

I breathed deeply and sat on one of the torn up chairs undoubtedly damaged by Lupin in his werewolf form. Looking up at her, I said, "Go on."

"The Dark Lord...was defeated. His Killing Curse backfired and he was ripped body from soul, and the Potter brat escaped with nothing but a scar."

I glared at her. "Tell me something I don't know."

"I was devastated. He was my master, the only thing I lived for. He-"

"Wait." My tone was icy cold. "The only thing you lived for? What about your family? Me, Rodolphus, Narcissa. Did you even care about us?"

"Of course I did. I had pride in my family, except for my blood traitor of a sister. But yes, I was proud. Rodolphus and his brother were Death Eaters, Narcissa had married a respectable pureblood who became a Death Eater, so yes, I was proud of my family. But back to the story. The Dark Lord was gone. I knew he'd come back someday, and I was right-"

I rolled my eyes. She sounded just like Barty Crouch, Jr.

"Rodolphus, Rabastan, Barty Crouch, Jr. and I went to search for him. We knew he was out there. We found some blood traitors who we knew were associated with that Muggle-lover Albus Dumbledore: the Longbottoms."

My stomach flip-flopped, but I continued to listen.

"We tried to get answers and information from them. We tortured them with the Cruciatus Curse until they went insane. They refused to give us anything. And then the Aurors caught us and we were locked up."

"Yes," I said, harsh-sounding again. "And all this time, while you were being dragged away by Aurors, I was probably at home in my crib wondering when my parents would be returning, not knowing I wouldn't see them again until...until now!"

She sighed and said, "Lyra, there's no taking back the things I've done, and I can't say I'm sorry for them. But will you forgive me and move on?"

I could never forgive her. Never. But I guessed I could drop it-not that I wanted to, but I didn't want things to turn ugly. If I continued, she could do anything to me.

"Well, then..." I said. "What now?"

"I want to know what you've been up to, how you've been living at the hands of my awful sister. I tried Lyra, I tried hard, and I'm very sorry, but Narcissa wouldn't take you. She was too fond of Draco and didn't want another child."

I glared at her again. "You shouldn't be sorry because Andromeda has been a great mother to me, blood traitor or not."

To my great surprise, that mischievous smile flitted across her face. She said, "So you admit she's a blood traitor."

"Well...yeah, but that's not necessarily a bad thing."

Her smile changed from mischievous to satisfied. "Hmmm. Well at least you can recognize blood traitors when they're there. Slytherin house has taught you well."

"Sly-Slytherin?" I stammered.

"Yes," she said with a trace of annoyance in her voice. "That's your house, isn't it?"

"Well-"

I didn't need to say anymore. I saw that glint of insanity in her eyes, the one I'd seen in the wanted posters, as she glared and boomed, "You're not in Slytherin?"

"No!" I said, trying to keep the fear out of my voice, but it didn't quite work."

"Then what house are you in?" she spat. "Surely Ravenclaw, at the very least?"

"No, no, I'm not-"

"Then that leaves Gryffindor and Hufflepuff!"

"Yes, exactly! I'm...I'm in Gryffindor...that's where the Sorting Hat put me..."

Her eyes glinted madly again. "Gryffindor! You're in the same house as Harry Potter, the one who defeated the Dark Lord! But...how...why...my daughter can't be a Gryffindor! Your blood is pure as can be, you're the daughter of two Slytherins, and they put you in a house full of Mudbloods and blood traitors and scum!"

I couldn't think of anything to say. She was clearly extremely unsettled by this news as she muttered stuff under her breath.

"For fourteen long years I waited for this! I waited to finally know my only daughter, and she's been put in Gryffindor!"

"Bellatrix..." I said lightly. Calling her ‘mother' or ‘mum' was unimaginable. "Er...where is Rodolphus, anyway?"

"I made him stay behind."

"Why? Why can't I meet him too? He is my father, after all."

"Lyra." she sighed. "You don't get it. I left the Dark Lord for a small amount of time. I took the risk because I wanted to...meet you. If we both came, well...we couldn't both leave the Dark Lord's duties. I told...I told the Dark Lord that I was doing a mission for him though I was actually coming to visit you."

"Oh," was all I could say. I felt a tiny stab of affection for her. Maybe she did care about me after all. Then a question hit me and I asked, "But if you don't come back with the mission completed, what will Voldemort say?"

"You speak his name?" she asked, suddenly shocked. "You shouldn't say it! You must be brave...no wonder you're a Gryffindor...but no, I will complete the mission. I Imperiused a random person. They are doing it for me."

I shuddered at the thought of the Unforgivable Curse as she continued. "Yes...saying his name is a mark of bravery...he will value that..."

"What do you mean, he will value that?" I asked.

"Lyra, haven't you seen what school has done to you? You can't be around blood scum any longer. I must take you with me. I'm sure you have extraordinary power and magical talent, so, though you are young, I'm sure the Dark Lord will take you in."

It took me a minute to grasp the meaning of her words. When I couldn't, I changed the subject. "Could you show it to me?" I said.

"Show you what?"

"The Mark."

"Oh..." She smiled slyly and pulled back her sleeve. There, in plain flesh, was the Dark Mark, branded into her arm by Voldemort himself.

"I can feel it," I said.

"What's that?"

"I can feel the Mark. When Vol-when the Dark Lord touches it, I feel it. It hadn't happened at all until last year at the Quidditch World Cup. But throughout the year I could feel it...growing stronger and stronger. I read the signs. I knew he was coming back. I feel it a lot now, though, and I'm not surprised. He must summon you a lot."

"But you don't have the Mark, so how can you feel it?"

"I just can. I don't know why, but Dora-I mean, someone I know told me it might be because of Dark magic."

"And why would you tell anybody this? Who's Dora?"

"Nobody!" I exclaimed. "Someone...I mean, fine, she's Andromeda's daughter and she's practically my sister..."

"Ah, yes." She smiled evilly. "My sister did have a daughter with that filthy Mudblood she married." Then her mood changed: her face turned impassive and she looked me in the eyes intently. "Lyra, let's go. You can join the Dark Lord."

I glared at her. "No."

"What's that?"

"I said, no. I'm not joining Voldemort."

"Don't say his name!" she gasped. "Come on! Let's leave! I need to get back!"

"No!"

"Lyra, listen to me! I'm your mother, you have to listen! Leave this place now! I can't let you stay with Mudbloods and other scum and have you turn into a blood traitor as well! Come on!"

"No! The other Death Eaters wouldn't accept me, I'm sure of it! And you can't tell me what to do!"

"I'm your mother!"

"Some mother! You haven't seen me for fourteen years! Like you ever cared for me!"

"Shut up! I did care about you! Now let's just go!"

"No! I can decide for myself! I'm not a child!"

"You're only fifteen and have no idea who you're dealing with!"

"You're right about that!" I argued. "I don't know you, and if I'm only fifteen, why are you telling me to join the Death Eaters? Do you want me to be killed?"

She stared at me through narrowed eyes. Finally, she spoke calmly at first, "I don't want you killed. I just want you back! It's been fourteen long years in Azkaban for me! I think I deserve more than what you're giving me!"

"Stop pretending you care! I get it now-you only care about Voldemort and his plans! You only want to...to serve me up as bait or something because he needs to recruit followers!"

She pulled out her wand and pointed it at me. Before I knew what was coming...

"Crucio!"

I fell to the floor of the shack, writhing it pain. It was agony, torture, the worst pain I'd ever physically experienced. I screamed as the curse lifted. Barty Crouch, Jr. had been right: she was talented at that.

I was shaking so much I couldn't speak. She said, "Will that change your mind?"

I got up and dusted off my robes, looking into her eyes for a hint of sympathy, hoping that maybe she'd just blown up like I had over the holiday break, hoping with all my heart that it was an accident and she hadn't meant to inflict that pain. However, her face was quite assertive.

"Will that change your mind?" she repeated. "Will it? Answer me, or I will have to do that again?"

"No!" I shouted. "It won't change my mind; I'll never join!"

"Fine, then," she said, lowering her wand. "Then my work here is done. You can be...what was your alias again?"

"Lindsey Tonks," I mumbled as quietly as possible, but still audibly.

"Yes. You can be Lindsey Tonks for the rest of your life, and I'll leave. Don't you realize that joining will free you from that name? That in joining, you'll meet your father and we can be a reunited family again? But the choice is yours...if you refuse to accept, then I'll leave and we'll never see each other again."

Now I was torn. I felt hatred toward her...and yet, it wasn't that I never wanted to see her again. Still, joining Voldemort was much too high of a price.

"Never," I said.

"Fine, then. It's your choice."

I could tell she was preparing to Disapparate.

"Wait!" I said. There was so much more I wanted to know, now that I thought about it. "Bellatrix, wait! Don't go! I want to know-"

She pointed her wand at me again. "Don't say anything."

"Don't leave yet!"

"Shut it," she snarled. "I won't give you anything. You're no daughter of mine."

Then, with a loud crack, she was gone.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. I felt faint again. The room around me became blurry and I felt myself fall. I hit the hard wooden floor and everything went black.