After only three days of being cooped up in the Malfoy Manor, it was apparent that I needed the clothes that were miles away at home. The robes I had come in with were torn and ripped along the seams from the fight with the Snatchers; as a result I could no longer wear them. I also had no sort of clothes to sleep in (I refused to wear Narcissa's old nightgowns due to the fact that I couldn't breathe in them). However, obtaining new clothes seemed impossible.

Theodore made me tell Bellatrix, and her response made my blood turn to ice.

"Well, you do need new robes - Death Eater robes. You'll also need a mask."

Once I got past the menacing burn on my wrist, the fact that I was a Death Eater really didn't mean anything. If Voldemort wasn't abroad on some unspecified mission, then things would be different. I would actually be serving him instead of doing nothing of importance around the house.

Still, I was a Death Eater and there was no denying it. So when Bellatrix said this, I stammered, "D - Death Eater robes? Where do I get those?"

"Diagon Alley, of course," she snapped with impatience. "Someone will escort you there."

"You mean I can leave the house?" I asked stupidly, feeling embarrassed when she began to laugh.

"Of course you can. But you shouldn't go out alone. I'll have someone go with you. Lucius!" she barked. Lucius Malfoy, who was across the kitchen, turned around, not hiding his annoyance.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Take my daughter to Diagon Alley," she commanded.

Lucius looked like he was struggling not to roll his eyes with difficulty. "Can't you take her?"

"I suppose I could ... " she thought out loud.

"I - I could go myself," I suggested, but I knew what the answer would be.

"No! You'll only try to escape! Lucius will take you!"

"I will take her."

Surprised by this new, slightly familiar voice, I looked over and saw Rodolphus standing up from the table. I looked at him in misunderstanding while his eyes flickered from Bellatrix to me, his expression unreadable.

Bellatrix looked just as confused, but she said, "Very well. Rodolphus, take her now."

"Right - right now?" I asked.

"Yes, right now!" Bellatrix exclaimed. "Go on!"

I didn't say another word, but hurried out the door. Theodore followed (he had been standing behind me the whole time). I was also aware of Rodolphus behind us. He followed us out of the kitchen and shut the door behind him.

"Well ... " he stated gruffly, "We should go. Side-Along Apparition."

"Wait, Mr. Lestrange," Theodore said politely, addressing my father like a figure of high authority. "Would you mind if I went too?"

Rodolphus narrowed his eyes. Hesitantly I squeaked, "Please?" I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice. This trip would be so much better if Theodore went as well.

"I suppose," Rodolphus said. "Come on, then."

He grabbed me; I braced myself for a rough pull, but his grip was actually far gentler than I was expecting. Theodore and I locked arms and the three of us Apparated through the dark void...

I nearly fainted upon seeing Diagon Alley. It had morphed into a street beyond anything imaginable. It appeared that every shop except for Gringotts was boarded up, and new shops selling nothing but Dark Arts-related items were the only places in business.

"Where do we go?" I asked anxiously.

"The robe shop," Rodolphus said.

"But Madam Malkin's is ... " I trailed away. I didn't want to be laughed at again for stating something that was obvious to everyone else. But neither of them laughed.

"Us Death Eaters have our sources," Rodolphus said. "I know where to find your robes."

He took the lead and began to walk toward the shop that used to be Florean Fortescue's. I glimpsed at Theodore and was almost comforted to see that he was just confused as I was. Quietly I asked, "Do you have any idea where we're going?"

"Not exactly," he whispered, and pulled me close to his side. "Don't worry. Everything will be all right."

I wasn't really convinced. Nonetheless, when Rodolphus turned the corner, I followed anyway. In a split-second I knew where we were going: Knockturn Alley, the street behind Diagon Alley where all the Dark Arts shops were. This place was hardly any different though - Diagon Alley practically was Knockturn Alley from what I could see.

"Here we are," Rodolphus said. He stopped outside a robe shop down the street and opened the door. Before I walked in, I observed the store. It was almost pitch-black inside and a chilly breeze drifted in our direction.

The black gloom disappeared to an extent when we walked inside. At least I could make out some of the surroundings. There weren't many. The store was mostly a tiny, empty room with no merchandise. There was a counter with a cash register near the door, but nobody appeared to be there.

I was afraid to ask any questions. Rodolphus didn't say a word. He stepped over to the counter and did something there with his wand, but the darkness prevented me from seeing his action. I looked up at Theodore again and saw that his face was fixed with even more perplexity.

Several seconds later, a dark shape turned seemed to emerge from the shadows. I gasped as I realized that there actually was a person at the counter-he had just been turned around. Underneath a black hood was a pure white mask that covered half this man's face. He glared at Rodolphus and asked, "What do you need?"

"Death Eater robes for our new member," he said with a hint of hate. Was it this man he disliked? Or the shop? I didn't know.

"Which would be?" the man growled, sounding sinister.

"My ... daughter."

He motioned me forward, so I wandered up to him cautiously. Every footstep was an extreme effort. Theodore walked beside me, refusing to let go.

The man's eyes traveled from me to Rodolphus and back again. Grunting, he took out his wand, flicked it lazily, and caused a tiny, dark tape measure to appear. It began to measure me on its own. After a minute or so, it flew back behind the counter.

"Very well," the storekeeper said. He waved his wand again and a cloud of purplish-black smoke engulfed my hands. Though I was startled, the smoke was gone before I could gasp and was replaced with six black robes.

"That will do," Rodolphus said as he slapped a few Galleons onto the counter.

"I can pay - " I started to tell him, but stopped when I realized I had no money whatsoever. It, like everything else I owned, was back at home.

"Let's go," Rodolphus growled. It was obvious that he wanted to get out of this store just as much as I did.

"Wait," said the man at the counter. "I believe you're forgetting something."

"I already gave you the money," Rodolphus hissed.

"You've forgotten about the other piece of Death Eater attire. The mask."

Rodolphus sighed heavily. "Yes, the mask. Lyra, go up there and get your measurements for that."

I was surprised at how casually he said my name. I broke away from Theodore's hold on me and went to the counter. The tape measure began measuring my head.

The man repeated the process. In another puff of smoke, a heavy silver object weighed down my hands. I stared at it, already loathing it.

Rodolphus threw some coins onto the table aggressively and walked out. Nobody said anything else.

Back in the alley, I followed Rodolphus but stayed a good distance behind him. Theodore was at my side again and was also carrying my new robes. Though I didn't say anything, I secretly wished he was carrying the mask instead and left the robes for me. I didn't have a huge problem with the robes because they looked like general school robes.

Rodolphus stopped. He turned around and faced the two of us with a thoughtful look on his face. He said, "We're really not in any hurry to get back. Do you two want to get some ice cream before we Apparate back to the manor?"

I nearly fainted. The fact that things like ice cream even existed in the world that we lived in now was impossible to believe. How could an ice cream parlor even exist in Knockturn Alley anyway?

"I - ice cream?"

"Yes, ice cream. Frozen stuff, they put in it a cone," Rodolphus said. He wasn't mocking me or trying to be humorous, though. His voice was as dull as ever.

"We should get some," Theodore said. "I can buy yours, Lyra."

"Um ... well, okay. Thanks. I guess."

"Right, then," Rodolphus muttered as he turned around and headed for one of the stores. There was no sign out front but this was obviously the place - it was the only building on the street with tables outside.

"Mr. Nott," Rodolphus said, "would you be kind enough to go inside and get it?"

"No problem," Theodore answered. "What kind would you like?"

"I don't want any, but perhaps you should ask your girlfriend."

"Lyra?" Theodore inquired.

I shrugged. "I don't really have an appetite."

"Get her whatever kind you get," Rodolphus told Theodore, pulling out a chair and preparing to sit. "Here's some money. Pay for your ice cream as well as hers." He handed him a few Sickles.

"But I don't want - "

"Fine, I'll get you Cockroach Cluster," Theodore joked. I didn't laugh. Once again I felt stunned. Like ice cream, jokes were something that didn't seem real anymore.

I sighed. "Get me Chocolate Frog if they have it."

Theodore gave me a small smile. "Chocolate Frog?"

"Yes. And if they don't have it - "

He kissed me quickly and lightly on the lips to interrupt me. "Every place has Chocolate Frog. I'll be right back."

He dashed off and disappeared behind the door of the parlor. I stared at the door with a blank mind, but was brought back to reality when I heard Rodolphus speak.

"Lyra."

I turned around. He was sitting at the table and was motioning for me to sit on the opposite side. I hesitated.

"Go on, sit."

I pulled out the chair, which was disgusting and sticky with who-knows-what. I sat down, feeling repulsed when I saw the unclean table.

"I know it's gross."

Rodolphus had spoken again. I looked at him with wide eyes. I didn't like this place and I was not comfortable sitting down at the nasty table with nobody but him. I wished that Theodore would get out soon.

"Give me your wrist, Lyra."

"W - why?"

"Just let me see it."

"You're not going to ... touch it, are you?"

"The Mark? Of course not. Why would I want to summon the Dark Lord? No, I just want to see it."

My arm trembled as I extended it to him. He took it in his grasp (once again I felt that unexplained gentleness) and pulled back the sleeve of my robe. I flinched and closed my eyes tightly. Looking at the thing made me feel the pain of getting it imprinted all over again.

Before I knew it, he had dropped my arm. I pulled it back to my body and opened my eyes to see his expression. What I was astounded me-he was livid. Anger flared in his eyes as he glared at nothing in particular. He looked like Theodore had the other night, but with more intensity.

"Is something ... wrong?" I asked.

"Yes. Everything's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Lyra, brace yourself, because what I'm about to say isn't going to be a short story."

"Okay ... "

I was as confused as ever. I didn't know what he was about to tell me, but he seemed to be dying to say it.

"Lyra, I know you hate me, and I can't say I blame you. I would hate me too if I were you. After all I've done, I even hate myself."

I was surprised by the way he had jumped into the story, and even more surprised by his words. Yet I couldn't say anything, because deep inside I knew what he said was true.

"I've been a terrible person. I regret everything I've ever done. It's my fault. Things could be so much different now if it weren't for my stupid mistakes. From the very beginning, I knew the consequences. I knew what would happen and yet ... well, it did happen. Did I care? Not at the time."

"I - I really don't understand what you're saying."

"Then I will explain. Lyra, I know you loathe Bella, but you have to understand that she wasn't always like that. At one point in time-a point in time that was far long ago - we were in love."

"I know," I told him. "I've heard."

"It was my fault. Though Bella's parents really wanted her to join the Death Eaters, it was I who convinced her in the end. We were young, and it seemed perfect at the time. We would be carrying out exactly what our parents wanted. When we joined, it was perfect. We loved serving the Dark Lord. We felt that what we were doing was right and would always be right. But then something happened. Bella became pregnant with you."

By now I was listening to every word he spoke with a vast amount of interest. Then I realized where his story was going, so I asked, "If she was pregnant, how could she serve the Dark Lord?"

"That's what I'm getting to. The Dark Lord wasn't happy. He said her commitment - well, our commitment, really - was only to him. Purifying the wizard race was all that mattered. He tortured her for being unable to work for him-excuse the immodesty, but we were the best Death Eaters. I got my dose of torture too, but Bella was hit the hardest. She fought, though. She fought against him to protect you. Finally the Dark Lord gave in and decided to give her a break until you were born. Then she would have to return to working for him."

I felt frozen. Imagining a Bellatrix who was willing to fight to protect me was difficult. I had to accept that things were different seventeen years ago, and that this had happened before my mother was sent to Azkaban.

"So what happened next?" I asked. All previous feelings about my father had vanished for the time being. Right now all that mattered was that he told his story.

"Then you were born. It was one of the happiest days of my life, especially at the time - you see, I was beginning to regret becoming a Death Eater, but I didn't dare tell Bella. She was so keen to serve the Dark Lord that she wanted to get your birth over with."

"Sounds more like the Bellatrix I've met," I grumbled.

"I know it doesn't seem like she ever cared about you," he went on. "But when you were born, she was happier than you could imagine. We had our hopes and dreams for you as well as the three of us as a family. I wanted to be there for every important moment of your life. I wanted to see you go off to Hogwarts, graduate, get married ... you know. Bella wanted to see you grow up to become a Death Eater."

"She got her wish," I groaned.

"Yes, but it didn't go as planned, did it? Personally, I hoped you wouldn't join. I wanted to see you take your own path."

"It sounds like you had a lot of wishes for my future from just the day I was born," I remarked.

"Well, yes ... we did. And I might as well add that Bella gave you your name. She's always been a Black at heart and wanted to carry out family tradition."

"I've ... always like my name," I told him with reluctance. The fact that Bellatrix came up with it didn't surprise me, and it really didn't make me dislike my name at all. "It's so much better than that Muggle name I used to have."

"That brings me to the next event. It was about a year after you were born. The Dark Lord had fallen. Bella was distraught. She thought he was dead. I spent days convincing her he was still out there somewhere, though I only half-believed it myself. Deep down, I hoped he was dead, because we could stop being Death Eaters and raise you like normal parents would. But then my convincing backfired. I had given Bella so much faith that she decided to find the Aurors and find out for herself if the Dark Lord was dead. And I ... I was so stupid. I went with her."

"The Longbottoms."

"Yes. Bella rounded up my brother Rabastan and Barty Crouch, Jr. The four of us went and tortured them. Then, as you know, we were arrested. I couldn't believe it myself. I felt more terrible than I ever had before. I thought of you, alone in your crib at home. I felt sick thinking about how long you would be there until somebody came and sent you to another home. I was distressed thinking about you being raised by someone other than Bella and me. We were sentenced to a life in prison and I had to accept that I would never see you again."

He was looking away from me, but I could still see his expression. His eyes were filled with grief and sadness. At that moment I knew - he cared. He cared about me and he always had. He loved me and he always had. He missed me, he had missed being able to see me grow up, and he missed the life he had lost. The life we both had lost.

"We still got the Prophet in Azkaban," Rodolphus went on. "I read it every day in a hopeless attempt to find out what they had done with you, but there was never a report. Then Bella got a letter from Narcissa that said you had been sent to the Tonks family. This made Bella even more distressed, but I felt a sort of ... strange happiness. I knew that living with them would be good for you, even if you wouldn't grow up the way I wanted to raise you. I hoped - and knew - that you would be happy there, and it was a slight comfort to know you were being raised by a blood relative to Bella, even if her sister had been disowned. The only thing I truly despised was your renaming. I wanted to believe it was a good idea, but I hated the thought of you living as someone you weren't."

"I hated it too," I told him. "I didn't know who I was. I couldn't be myself if I wasn't really ... me. I felt so many mixed feelings. I wanted to know my parents so I would know myself, but I also hated you ... I can't deny it. Really, I hated what you did. But on top of that was another feeling-I wanted to meet you, no matter how much hate I felt. But every time I got my wish, I realized it wasn't what I wanted."

"I understand," he said. The strange thing about his every word was the fact that they were all completely sincere. "I guess what I'm trying to say, Lyra, is ... I regret every decision I made that forced our family into what we are now. What I'm really asking for is ... forgiveness, but only if you're willing. If you don't forgive me and never want to speak to me again, I understand that, too."

I felt something hot against my face - tears, which were not unusual for me these days. I was crying because of everything that I had lost because of him (and Bellatrix too), but I wasn't angry for once. It was just hard thinking about the fact that they could have seen me grow up and we could have lived a normal life like a normal family. Though it was upsetting to think about, I knew what the answer to Rodolphus's request was. I couldn't blame him any longer, because he regretted his mistakes and had paid severely for them.

"Lyra, I understand if you don't - "

"No," I interrupted him, wiping the moisture from my face. "No. I - I forgive you. I can tell you've endured a lot. Thanks for telling me everything, Rodolphus ... I mean ... Dad."

A light smile touched his lips. He got up from his chair and did the most unexpected thing - hugged me tightly in an attempt to comfort me. It only made me sob harder, but at that moment any previous hate for him had dissolved.

I heard the door to the ice cream parlor open, bringing me back to reality.

"That must be Theodore," I murmured.

Rodolphus released me. I looked to my left and saw Theodore leaving the building empty-handed. He was muttering furiously under his breath, and as he drew closer I heard, "That place was terrible! Nobody was working so I had to leave. I'm sorry, you two, but I think the place is closed. Wait ... Lyra, what the - what's going on?"

I smiled, though my face was still wet with tears. "Nothing. I'm fine."

He looked puzzled but didn't question me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Nott," said Rodolphus. "While I didn't mind you coming along, I needed some time to talk to my daughter alone."

"Tricky," I muttered. "Nice diversion."

Theodore looked irritated and said bluntly, "If you didn't want me around, I would have left without complaint, Mr. Lestrange. But it's fine. For some reason, I wasn't supposed to hear what the two of you were talking about. Are you finished or should I leave again?"

"The three of us can head back," my father answered. "The others will be waiting. Let's go. And don't ... er, don't forget your robes, Lyra."

"Oh! Yeah. Right." Unwillingly I grabbed the robes and mask off of my chair, half hoping that I could have forgotten them. Based on the look upon his face, Rodolphus felt the same. But once the robes were back in my arms, he turned away and prepared to Apparate.

Theodore came up to me and whispered, "Are you going to tell me what happened while I was in the shop?"

Keeping my voice low, I said with a smile, "I'll tell you the whole story later."