"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no!" I yelled. "He can't be ... he's not ... no ... "

The world around me had fallen silent. All my eyes could take in was the still body lying just a few feet away from me. The spell Bellatrix had used on him had not been green, at least not from what I could remember ... yet, it had been so swift that I could barely comprehend the scene that had flashed before me seconds ago.

I rushed to his side and dropped to my knees, panicked and gasping for breath. To me, the world has stopped. "Theodore ... please don't be ... please ... " I breathed. My thoughts were blurred except for a single question: Was he still alive or was he ... dead?

"Is he breathing?" someone said. I jumped. I had forgotten that anybody else existed. It took me a moment, but I recognized Dora's voice. She kneeled down beside me. "Is he breathing?" she repeated. "Does he have a pulse?"

"I ... don't ... know ... " I said between gasps. Then I removed his mask, lifted a trembling hand, and pressed it to his neck, searching for the beats of a working heart. My fingers shook too violently to detect a pulse.

"I'll do it," Dora said gently. I pulled back my hand and let her search for the pulse. Seconds seeming to last days passed, and her expression became graver. Finally she said, "I can't feel anything."

"No!" I exclaimed as my chest tightened. I was losing the ability to breathe by the second. I was about to pass out like I always did under distress.

"I ... I don't think he's breathing," Dora muttered quietly as if she almost didn't intend for me to hear.

Everything went blurry and my face felt hot and wet. The tears had come, but they weren't of sadness, really. They were more from fear, I guessed. As I cried, my hyperventilating didn't become any better.

"Come on," Dora said quietly. "We need to get you away so you can calm down."

"No! Dora, no! I want to fight! I want to kill her!"

"You can't fight in this condition! Come with me!"

"NO!"

"Over there! Avada Kedavra!" someone else shouted. Two Death Eaters were approaching and one had just shot a Killing Curse in our direction. Thinking quick, Dora managed to dodge it at the last second.

It was as if the real world had penetrated the bubble in which time had stopped. The Death Eater reminded me that the battle was still raging.

"Lyra, I know it's hard, but you have to get somewhere safe."

"Which is nowhere! Dora, I ... can't ... leave ... him ... here ... " I stopped talking and clasped my hands against my chest, wheezing too hard to talk anymore. Everything around went black as my breath was taken from within me. It was like being crushed through the void of Apparition, but this wasn't a void and the pressure and pain was ten times worse.

"Lyra!" I heard Dora scream at the last moment before everything was gone.

I woke up on a hard dirt ground. When I opened my eyes, I trembled in my robes, drenched with cold sweat. Someone in the area gasped and shouted my name. Seconds later he was beside me.

"Lyra! Lyra, you're awake!"

Rodolphus!

The only words I managed to mutter from my barely-conscious shell on the ground was, "Theodore. Theodore."

"Lyra, do you know where Theodore is?" Rodolphus asked. "Nobody here has seen him and his father's starting to worry."

"Theodore ... he ... he ... Dad, it's her!" I suddenly exclaimed. All energy flowed back into my body and I leapt to my feet. I now knew where I was: in a circle of Death Eaters in the Forbidden Forest. To my embarrassment, however, I was right in the middle where everyone could see what was happening. Ashamed as I was, I ignored this and looked for her.

Bellatrix was sitting right next to the Dark Lord, glaring at me with mocking and satisfaction in her eyes.

"YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" I charged at her as fast as I felt I had ever run with my wand raised high.

She simply cackled, letting it ring out into the night air. I had never felt such a desire to attack ... to kill ...

I stopped. I couldn't kill her, not even her, not even after what she did. But I didn't lower my wand.

"Cru ... Crucio ... " I muttered. Nothing happened. The spell was too weak. I was too weak.

"Lyra, what did she do?" Rodolphus asked.

"She ... she attacked him ... " I closed my eyes and felt fresh tears leak from my eyes. "I don't know what she used, but I don't think he's ... he's ... he's not alive ... "

"You mean Theodore?" he asked. "Bella, you didn't - ?"

"You mean to tell me my son is dead?" a new voice spoke, and I saw Mr. Nott approach. Another panic attack was about to spill from me. What was I supposed to say to him?

"He ... wasn't breathing ... "

"This is all your fault!" he yelled unexpectedly, which caused me to jump. "If you hadn't told him to follow you around everywhere, he wouldn't be dead right now! I knew something was going to happen sooner or later!"

"Nott, please ... can't you tell she's suffering enough right now?" Rodolphus said as he approached me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Now, Bella ... did you really k-kill Theodore?" His voice shook in disbelief as he tried to spit the word out.

Bellatrix stood up and strode to stand in front of us. She looked my father straight in the eyes with a new look on her face - she almost looked ... sane, for once. I had never seen this look before, not on her.

"Rodolphus, I ... I used - "

"This is all very touching," an icy voice spoke, "but there are more important matters to deal with right now, such as Potter. He should be arriving here soon."

Voldemort. He was highly displeased with our conversation.

"My Lord, we understand, but there are important issues among us right now - "

"Silence!" Voldemort snapped, shooting a blast of white light at Rodolphus. He fell to the ground, writhing and moaning in pain.

"Now sit down," said the Dark Lord. "I think I hear something. Potter may be approaching."

"My Lord, do you really think he's coming - ?" asked Bellatrix, but Voldemort whispered, "Silence!" again and shot the white light at her.

I remembered that I was still standing in the center of the circle, so I stumbled out as quickly as possible. My energy had been drained again, and I nearly collapsed when I reached my father. He had already returned to his feet and was sitting on an empty log and was beckoning me to sit next to him.

"You look tired," he muttered gently, obviously hoping the Dark Lord would not hear.

"I am," I murmured as I rested my head against him and closed my eyes. "But I don't want to fall asleep. There's so much I could miss."

"Sleep if you must," he said firmly, though not unfriendly, but there was no point. I was already drifting away. Even though I was sitting on a dead tree in a circle of people I hated with loads on my mind, such as Theodore's state and whether Harry was coming or not, shock got the better of me and I drifted away.

"Are yeh happy Harry Potter's - d - dead ... ?" [*]

A booming voice awoke me. I was more than happy to wake up from my terrible nightmare about seeing everyone I loved - whether they were dead or alive - being killed before me in every way possible. Yet when I woke up I realized that the real world was more of a nightmare than my sleep land.

"What happened?" I whispered to the air, not sure if anyone was around. People were, apparently, because Rodolphus's voice spoke, "Potter's ... dead."

"What?" I shot up from my sleeping place, which was the log of the fallen tree. "Harry? Dead? But he can't be!"

"Be quiet!" Rodolphus hissed angrily, causing me to shrink away from him. More gently he told me, "Something happened when the Dark Lord killed him. Something went wrong, and now the Dark Lord is ... well, we're not really sure what's happened. But he's getting up now, and he's ordering us to come. Quick, get up and follow everyone."

I saw that the Death Eaters were filing out of the clearing. I stumbled along behind them, but only until we reached the edge of the forest. I stopped and took in the scene. Voldemort was telling everyone that Harry was dead and they had to join him or killed without mercy.

"Dad," I whispered, "please let me go. I want to find Theodore so I can confirm for myself if he's ... if he's - well, I'm going to sneak away. I can put myself under a Disillusionment Charm."

"I don't know, Lyra. The Dark Lord is about to take control ... "

I froze as the reality of Harry's death struck.

The supposed ‘Chosen One' was dead.

It was all over. Voldemort would take over and force everyone to join him. He would kill all Muggles, Muggle-borns, and blood traitors until they were totally exterminated. It was the end of life as we all knew it.

"What's wrong?" my father asked me.

I realized I had started crying again. Through my tears I murmured, "It's all over."

Rodolphus nodded solemnly and pulled me into a hug. "I know. I'm so sorry. This is the end for us all."

"I have to go," I pleaded. "Please let me. I can sneak away from whatever is happening up there."

"Go ahead, then, but be careful. Oh, and Lyra, I would go to the Great Hall first."

"Great Hall. Okay. Great Hall. I'll do that. Thanks."

I cast a Disillusionment Charm over me and snuck across the grounds, headed for the Herbology greenhouses. I glimpsed someone in the crowd wearing the Sorting Hat and gasped out loud when it exploded into flames. As I saw the Dark Lord cause destruction all around me, Harry's limp body was cradled in Hagrid's giant arms. I forced myself to stop staring, because this could be my last chance to do anything on my own. Once the Dark Lord took over, there was no going back.

I couldn't prevent the dark thoughts from invading my mind as I trekked closer to the oak front doors. There would be no more proper Hogwarts, no more Order of the Phoenix, no more Ministry as we used to know it, no more freedom. As I slipped through the doors, I lost it completely when I remembered what Theodore always told me: The war was going to end, and we would be together. The war had ended, of course, but not in the right way. And we wouldn't be together, not now, not ever.

I leaned against the door to the Great Hall and sobbed into my hands. I didn't know what was waiting for me inside, but I wasn't ready to face it. I opened the door anyway with an unsteady hand and entered. The sight before me nearly made me faint.

This wasn't the Great Hall. This was a room full of bodies of those who had fallen earlier that evening. I was the only living soul in there, it appeared-everyone else was outside in the crowd. With a shudder I saw Remus lying in one of the rows, and thought about how Dora would have been next to him if I hadn't stopped Bellatrix.

Then I fell to my knees as a powerful wave of shock hit me. If I hadn't saved Dora, Bellatrix wouldn't have attacked Theodore. Had he fallen because of me? If Dora had died instead, would Theodore still be ... alive?

I forced myself to my feet. I had to find him. A tiny ray of hope found its way into my thoughts and I remembered that I hadn't seen Bellatrix shoot a green spell at him. Yet I wasn't even sure of that, and I remembered how he wasn't breathing and the way he didn't have a pulse.

With another shudder I saw Fred Weasley's body. How many others had died? This gruesome sight was too much for me. I was about to turn and leave when I saw him.

Theodore was just a few down from Fred. I rushed over to him at top speed and knelt down beside him, hoping with all my heart that he was breathing now. Excitement hit me when I remembered that minor coma I had been before; I wondered if he was in the same state.

But he looked more corpselike than earlier, and when I touched his hand it was as cold as ice.

The tears came again, more than I could remember crying for a long time. I closed my eyes and clapped my hand over my face, but as soon as I did so awful visions came into my head. I saw Bellatrix knocking Sirius through the veil. I saw her using the Cruciatus Curse on me countless times. I saw her shooting a Killing Curse at Dora, and I saw her rage when I had interfered with her plan to kill my cousin. I saw her shooting the curse at Theodore, causing him to fly through the air and hit the ground.

I opened my eyes with a gasp. The instant replay had shown it to me: the curse wasn't green, it was white! I looked at Theodore again, waiting for him to wake up. I was sure that there weren't any other types of Killing Curses besides Avada Kedavra.

However, I knew that it was useless to get my hopes up. Anyone could see that he wasn't going to wake up.

I had reached my breaking point. I jumped up and sprinted out of the Hall, desperately hoping I would never have to see anything like that again. Outside, I leaned against the door and sobbed loudly, aware that nobody could hear me. Even if somebody could, it didn't matter to me, because everything was lost.

I thought we'd had a future together. I'd always believed him when he said we would be together after the war. I'd thought Voldemort would be destroyed because he couldn't love anyone, couldn't love like we did. But it was all a fantasy, because in the real world good didn't always conquer evil. Evil had prevailed, and now my heart ached when I thought of how we would never see or hold or kiss each other again.

I concluded that love wasn't real. If someone who couldn't love could overpower those who could, then it didn't exist. Love was a feeling you had for someone before they were taken away, leaving you with a massive gaping hole inside. If loved existed, it was something no less than cruel, wicked, pure evil ...

Suddenly several loud crashes split the silent castle, and once again I remembered that this battle wasn't quite over, even though Voldemort had killed Harry. Everyone - Death Eaters and defenders - were all flooding into the Hall. Shrieks and cries filled the air, colorful jets of lights sped all over the place, and duels broke out.

People of the fight streamed into the Great Hall, acting as if I wasn't standing there. I moved aside and saw the Dark Lord enter with his red eyes smoldering. I remembered the Disillusionment Charm I was under and quickly removed it as the strongest urge to get revenge hit me. I would find Bellatrix, and I would duel her ... and I would kill her.

When she caught my eye, I saw that she was dueling Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, and Luna Lovegood all at once. Ginny was nearly hit with a jet of emerald light and it only took a split-second for Mrs. Weasley to react. She ran at Bellatrix, screaming at the top of her lungs as my mother simply cackled back at her, but within heartbeats they were dueling ferociously.

I could tell what was coming before it did. The curse Mrs. Weasley sent at Bellatrix was moments from her heart when I decided to act. I ran into the chaotic quarrel and pushed Bellatrix to the ground with as much force as I could collect.

"Lyra! Not again!"

"What's this?" Mrs. Weasley spat. "I almost had her!"

"No, you didn't!" I yelled back. "She's mine to kill, because she killed ... "

I couldn't say his name. I relaxed my tight hold on Bellatrix by accident; she used it to her advantage and stood up again. Facing me, she said, "Lyra, this is it. Nothing works on you. Not Sirius's death, not becoming a Death Eater, not even what I did to Theodore. You've caused too much trouble for me. You always get in the way every single plan! You were supposed to be a daughter of the Dark Side, but you've betrayed everything I wanted!"

"It's all about you, isn't it?" I screamed back. "I am a daughter of the Dark Side and I'll always be - but really, whose fault is that? It's yours, because you got shut up. If you hadn't, maybe I would be the perfect Death Eater daughter you dreamed of! You have nobody to blame but yourself."

She glared at me angrily and drew her wand up. With a fiery tone she spat, "Like I said before, this is the end. I'm not putting up with your interference anymore."

"Fine! Go ahead! But you killed Theodore, and for that you're going to suffer!"

"That was punishment!"

"You also killed Sirius, and I'll get you for that as well!"

"That was a long time ago!"

"You nearly killed Dora, your niece! She's Andromeda's daughter - remember Andromeda, your younger sister, the one you used to be so close to?"

"That was on the Dark Lord's orders!"

"Excuses don't justify the crime. It's time to end the war between the two of us," I shouted.

At the very same time we aimed our wands and shouted, "Avada Kedavra!" Two green bands of light shot to the center and collided. They hit each other with a booming explosion and split like shattering glass into hundreds of tiny green comets that fell and dappled the floor with singe marks. All around the pair of us were petrified people staring at the scene with wide eyes. Even Mrs. Weasley seemed to have forgotten about her duel.

I looked into my mother's eyes, not knowing what to think. She stared back with a mostly unreadable expression, though she was certainly shocked.

"Did we just - ?" I muttered, not really asking anyone a question.

"My daughter ... I almost ... " Bellatrix mumbled, surprising me. She was feeling regret, probably for the first time in a long time.

I couldn't believe it. I had actually cast a Killing Curse. I hadn't succeeded - and thankfully. How would I ever be able to live with the guilt? She was, after all, the one who had given birth to me. She was the one I'd wanted to meet back when I was younger, before I knew who I truly was. The question that burned me was this: Maybe she was blinded by insanity, but would it be possible for that to lift? Had it just vanished, and were we really seeing each other for real, for the first time ever?

The Hall fell eerily silent. For a heartbeat I wondered if everyone had left their duels and were each staring at us now. But when I looked over, I saw that they were all fixed on something else. Someone's body was sprawled across the floor in the center; someone lay dead and unmoving, someone I couldn't see from where I stood but when I approached, it was quite obvious.

It was Voldemort. And across from him stood Harry, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, the one who was supposed to be dead right now. The Hall broke out into applause and screams of happiness. But one voice rose above the rest, piercingly loud, screaming, "NO!"

Bellatrix dashed over to the Dark Lord's body, pushing through the crowd to confirm for herself if it was true. She knelt down beside him and screeched at the top of her voice, "MY LORD! POTTER HAS KILLED HIM!"

Several spells shot at her and she was silenced. I cautiously walked over to the spot (I tried not to shrink away when I saw the shrunken white body) and looked around for any sign indicating what I had missed. But there was nothing except the triumphant defenders cheering their thanks to the Boy Who Lived.

"No ... what did I ever do to deserve this?" Bellatrix moaned, but quieter this time. Her voice was apparently back. "What did I do to deserve losing the man I loved? What did I do?"

The man she loved? Those words confirmed it. My mother had desperately loved Lord Voldemort for the man he was, not the deeds he'd crazed her with.

Of course, the Dark Lord obviously had never loved her back. He was proof of that; the exact opposite of living proof.

"You didn't do anything," I murmured loud enough for her to hear. "It was him. He couldn't love, so he failed." I gasped. To myself I muttered, "Theodore was right."

"And what do you know about love?" she asked accusingly, but there was deep pain and sorrow in her eyes.

I shrugged somberly. "Probably more than you."