The Absurd Fanfic Revolution by Tim the Enchanter
Summary:
HEY! Hey you! Psssstttt! You have to help us!
It’s Tim the Enchanter, our fanfiction writer – HE’S GONE MAD! We’re just trying to live normal lives at Hogwarts, but CRAZY things keep happening to us because he’s bored!
Please! Read our story and hear our plight! We need to bludgeon some sanity into our author – Oh no! HE’S AT HIS COMPUTER NOW!
NO! NOOO-aaahhhh! Must resist! Resist… Gibber narg turnip turnip wibble antidisestablishmentarianism blubber gibber wop wop bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!
Nominated for QSQ 2009, Best Humour.
Ratings: 3rd-5th Years [ - ]
Category: Humor Fics
Characters: None
Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence
Challenge:
Serie: None
Chapters: 9 Completed?: Yes
Wordcount: 25021 Viewcount: 40041
Published on: 08/31/08 Updated On: 01/22/09
HEY! Hey you! Psssstttt! You have to help us!
It’s Tim the Enchanter, our fanfiction writer – HE’S GONE MAD! We’re just trying to live normal lives at Hogwarts, but CRAZY things keep happening to us because he’s bored!
Please! Read our story and hear our plight! We need to bludgeon some sanity into our author – Oh no! HE’S AT HIS COMPUTER NOW!
NO! NOOO-aaahhhh! Must resist! Resist… Gibber narg turnip turnip wibble antidisestablishmentarianism blubber gibber wop wop bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!
Nominated for QSQ 2009, Best Humour.
Ratings: 3rd-5th Years [ - ]
Category: Humor Fics
Characters: None
Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence
Challenge:
Serie: None
Chapters: 9 Completed?: Yes
Wordcount: 25021 Viewcount: 40041
Published on: 08/31/08 Updated On: 01/22/09
Story Notes: This story is written in a very unconventional, weird, and sarcastic manner. This is intentional, to better accentuate the fact that the protagonists are stuck in a bad fanfic.
Alternate Universe warning is due to the fact that the characters in the story are conscious of the fact that they are characters in the story. Hurrah for redundancy!
Also, if moderator Bethany can review this submission, that would be lovely.
1. Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK! by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (2056 words)
Salutations, reader!
I had a dream a few nights ago that involved a battle between a Harry Potter fanfiction writer and the characters he created. That soon evolved into this, a bit of a satire making fun of both myself and my style of writing, albeit extremely exaggerated.
As always, I do not own Harry Potter. However, I do happen to own myself and this story. So please read and enjoy, and leave a review if you would be so kind to make me feel warm and fuzzy.
Also, if moderator Bethany could review this submission, that would be lovely.
Tim the Enchanter
2. Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (2723 words)
HELLO!
Here’s the second chapter – the revolution begins, the plot advances! Hurrah!
I don’t own Harry Potter. Never have, never will.
Tim the Enchanter
3. Chapter One, Revisited by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (1866 words)
This is the most normal chapter in the story. Enjoy it while you still can, because THINGS ARE JUST GOING TO GET CRAZY!
And once again, I don’t own Harry Potter.
No kidding…
Tim the Enchanter
4. Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled! by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (3501 words)
Hurrah! It’s Chapter Four – the most serious and violent one so far!
I don’t own Harry Potter, of course. And unfortunately, I didn’t come up with the slogan "Get Hammered and Sickled!" either (though I wish I did), because that belongs to whoever made that drink called Leninade.
Tim the Enchanter
5. Chapter Five: Getting Personal by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (2760 words)
Here’s chapter five, and I still don’t own Harry Potter. Thank you everyone who’s left reviews!
Tim the Enchanter
6. Chapter VI: Happy, Happy Insanity! by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (3526 words)
Here it is – Chapter Six! Now the story gets genuinely crazy and perhaps plain DISTURBING in some places! As always, I do not own Harry Potter. Also, if you see anything that sounds like it’s from the movie Braveheart, I don’t own that either! Furthermore, I would like to thank one or two of my friends for giving me some of the stranger ideas that appear in this chapter.
And I apologise in advance to any Welsh or Scottish people who happen to read this!
Tim the Enchanter
7. Not An Intermission by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (1452 words)
Here’s the ridiculously short seventh chapter – the epic conclusion approaches!
Again, I don’t own Harry Potter or Braveheart, from which parts of Wat’s speech are inspired.
Tim the Enchanter
8. Chapter H: The Epic Penultimate Chapter by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (5009 words)
VIOLENCE!
I don’t own Harry Potter.
Tim the Enchanter
9. Chapter 9: The Happy Ending by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (2128 words)
Oh dear, here’s the last chapter. I can’t believe that I just went and wrote this entire story from start to finish!
Once again, I don’t own Harry Potter. Thank you for reading this story all the way through, and all reviews are appreciated and will receive a response.
Tim the Enchanter