Epilogue
Gone forever.
“You bastard!” James shouted as he lashed out at the wizard who had just killed his brother. With a vicious snarl, he hurled a jet of purple light at him, followed closely by a Blasting Curse that sent the man flying backwards to land limply upon the steps. The second Auror raced down to help, raising his wand at James. James brandished his own wand to cast another curse, but a familiar voice on the air stopped him.
“It’s okay, James.”
The dark-haired wizard tending his injured colleague looked around in surprise. James ignored him and ran over to the archway. He laid his hands on it, listening desperately for the voice again, but there was only devastating silence. He leaned his forehead against the cold stone, his breathing ragged as he felt the terrible sobs building in his chest.
“No, no, no . . .” he whispered. “Not now, not after all this.”
His hand came to a rest on a small bump in the rock and from there fell to the pocket where he still kept the Resurrection Stone, even after so many months. Without even thinking, he took it out and turned it three times. It should work: he knew he didn't need the other Hallows, and perhaps being so close to the veil itself would truly bring Albus back.
A breeze fluttered through the curtain, and James stepped back, expecting his brother to come through, alive and smiling. Instead, he sensed something behind him and turned to find a ghostly light coalescing into a human form.
Marcum.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, confused. “You’re not Albus, I didn’t call you. . .” He trailed off as Marcum nodded in understanding.
“I know,” he said, “but Albus just crossed over, James. He’s with someone else at the moment. I’m sure he wants to say goodbye, though.”
“Goodbye?” said James. “What do you mean ‘goodbye’? I turned the Stone, he’s supposed to come back!”
Marcum gazed at him with both pity and understanding. “James, didn’t you tell Albus the same thing about me? That he couldn’t bring me back, that he had to move on? You know he wouldn’t want this kind of existence,” he continued, gesturing at his ethereal form. “Don’t force him to live this way. Let him go when it’s time.”
“No,” murmured James, dashing tears from his eyes. “This is different. He wasn’t supposed to die, not now!”
“Neither was I,” Marcum reminded him.
“Nor was I,” added an unfamiliar voice.
A second man materialized next to Marcum, a man who looked remarkably familiar to James: he had messy black hair and glasses like his father’s. For a moment James felt a surge of panic: he thought perhaps his father had died while they were gone. He quickly realized it was his namesake”his grandfather, who had been killed long before he was even born.
“Hello, James,” said his grandfather, smiling sadly. “It’s nice to actually meet you. You’ve done our name proud.”
James just nodded, speechless. It was like a family reunion, and yet the one family member he most wanted to see had not appeared yet.
“Albus is with your grandmother right now, James,” said his grandfather. “You shouldn’t have called for him so soon. He’s just passed through the veil and really shouldn’t return.”
“It’s okay, grandfather,” said a third voice, and James felt his heart stop as Albus finally appeared. He was more than a ghost, but not flesh and blood. “Really, it’s okay. I understand”I used it too, you know.”
“It’s not okay!” James shouted. “This wasn’t supposed to happen! You were supposed to come here and find something to live for”you were supposed to see your future, not your death!”
“But this is my future, and I did see it,” Albus said softly. “I just didn’t think it would happen so soon, or in such a . . . peacefully ironic manner.”
“Peacefully ironic?” asked James. “What the hell does that mean? What did you see? You never even had a chance to tell me.” Perhaps if he had known what might happen, it would be easier to believe that Albus had fallen. Perhaps he would not be so shocked, so stunned.
Albus nodded. “I know, and I’m sorry. It just happened so fast. I saw so much, James, it was amazing. I saw myself a lonely man, an angry man, a cruel man. I also saw myself happy, back at work, and a father. And I saw my funeral, though I didn’t see how it happened.”
“You didn’t see. . . this?” James asked, motioning at the stone archway. He was desperate for answers. He could not accept that Albus was dead, not when he was standing right there in front of him, talking and smiling.
“Not exactly,” said Albus. “If I had, maybe I would have done things differently. Maybe I would have chosen the other door. This is just the way it’s meant to be. It’s okay,” he repeated.
It was not okay, and it never would be. James had not spent long hours searching for the Stone, and longer hours by Albus’s bedside, to lose him now. He could not stand the idea of losing a brother”he would not. He did not have to accept it, for he had the ability to change things.
Albus frowned as if he were reading James’s mind. “Please don’t keep me here, James,” he said softly. “I have to go”I have no choice.”
“You want to go, you’ve wanted to go ever since Marcum died!” James shouted. “How could you leave us, after all we’ve been through? How could you choose death over life”him over us?” And there it was: the anger of loss, bursting forth from a place James didn’t even know existed. In one blazing instant, he understood everything his brother had gone through after Marcum’s death.
“You’re right,” Albus replied, his voice slightly unsteady. “I did want to die, but you saved me. You showed me that was wrong. You brought me here and showed me a future I could live for.”
“Then live, dammit!” James cried. He stopped and stared longingly at his brother, reaching out to him; his hands passed through empty space. “Please.”
Albus glanced at his grandfather for support, his eyes full of sorrow. He took a deep breath. “I can’t,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
James turned away, his chest heaving with both grief and anger. At the top of the room he saw the door open, and Sarah came through, followed closely by Aldred Dumbledore. Though he alone had turned the stone, they could clearly see the ghostly forms standing before him: he heard Sarah gasp when she saw the scene on the dais, and she flew down the stairs before Dumbledore could stop her.
She took him in her arms. He could have never imagined that losing someone would cause such physical pain, but it twisted his insides until he thought he would collapse from it. He clung to her as his only support, the only thing that kept him from falling to the ground. When he finally turned around, both his grandfather and Marcum had gone.
“Hi Sarah,” said Albus softly. “Take care of him, okay?” She just nodded, tears streaming down her face. “It’s time, James. You have to let me go.”
“I can’t,” he whispered. “Mum and Dad will be devastated. And Lily”” he choked back the words, unable to even contemplate how hard it would be to tell his family that Albus was gone.
“I know,” Albus replied, his voice breaking this time. “I’ll miss them, too. Tell them I’m sorry.”
“Albus, I”” James started. He wanted to say so much, but his brother stopped him.
“I know.”
James could only nod, his throat tight, his eyes stinging. Beside him Sarah looked away and stifled her own sobs. Albus smiled and slowly began to fade away. They heard his voice in the air one last time. “Thanks, James. I love you.”
A gentle breeze flowed around him, warm and peaceful and filled with love. Somehow James knew it was his brother, sending one last hug before passing through the veil once more. He embraced Sarah before finally turning to leave the archway behind him.
At the top of the stairs, Aldred Dumbledore was talking quietly to the two wizards who had accosted them. The dark-haired man was supporting the wizard James had cursed. He turned to look at James, blue eyes full of sympathy, and gave him small nod of acknowledgement before leading his injured comrade out the door. Dumbledore walked slowly down the stairs, meeting them at the foot of the dais.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “Alan tells me something both tragic and remarkable happened here tonight.”
James held back a hot retort; the death of his brother did not seem remarkable at all. It was bitter loss he would carry with him the rest of his life. And because he had brought Albus to the Department of Mysteries, he felt the added burden of guilt settle heavily upon his shoulders.
Once more he was tempted to turn the Stone, to beg his brother’s forgiveness; yet he knew it was wrong and realized that bearing the Hallow was now an even greater burden than the guilt he felt for his brother’s death. He understood why his father had never gone back for the lost ring; he wished he had never entered the Forbidden Forest and found it. Before he could regret it, he took the Resurrection Stone from his pocket and tossed it to Aldred Dumbledore.
“Here, study this,” he said, not bothering to keep the bitterness from his voice. “It’s better off here. Some people think it’s just a myth, but it’s worked for my entire family.”
Dumbledore turned it around in his hand, a puzzled look on his ancient face. James walked past him without another word and began the long climb up the stairs to the room that would take him back to the exit, to a vastly different life with a family that was now broken. He did not look back, determined to make it to the top before breaking down.
As he entered the blue room, he thought he heard one last whisper behind him. The door shut, and he placed his hand against it with a deep sigh. “Good-bye, Al.” His hand fell down to his pocket again, subconsciously looking for the Stone he had just given up.
To his surprise, it had somehow made its way back to his pocket. He did not know whether Dumbledore had sent it back, or whether the Stone had appeared on its own; he even wondered if perhaps Albus had reached out from beyond the veil to return it to him. As the temptation to turn the Stone yet again overtook him, he sank to the floor. Sarah took him in her arms once more, and he sobbed silently until he had no tears left.
James had lost his brother and was left with his grief, his guilt, and the temptation of the Hallows; he could only hope that Albus had found what he was looking for on the other side of the veil and was no longer lost.
Lost by Gmariam
Chapter Endnotes: And so the story ends. It may not have been what you were expecting or hoping for, but Albus was never going to return, and James now carries a difficult burden. His future looks rather bleak as well, if the current outline for my next story holds. Poor James and Albus.
Thank you so much to laceymoibella for all her hard work and support through this long process. I couldn’t have finished it without you! And thank you to everyone else for reading this story. I have worked hard on it and would appreciate any thoughts you might have. And I hope you might read my other stories as well. Aldred Dumbledore appears in a few, and you can read a bit of Albus’s backstory in “Good Night, Albus.” Thank you!