He stood in the shadows listening to her soft sobs. He never expected to be here, listening to her crying over him. The fact that she of all people would shed tears over him had him hesitating from revealing himself.
With the other members of his family, it was easy. Though she wasn’t family by blood, she was family. She was also the most logical and smart person besides Bill that he knew.
Seeing her curled into a ball on her favourite chair in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, broke his heart. When he heard the crying and sensed he was needed again, and where, he expected to find Ginny. Instead, he found Hermione.
Well, nothing for it, he thought as he stepped out of the shadows. He walked slowly across the common room and knelt down in front of Hermione.
“There was nothing you could have done,” he said gently.
Hermione lifted her face and looked at Fred. He heard her gasp and then saw her look to his ears. Seeing them both firmly in place, her eyes widened.
Fred chuckled as he reached a hand up to rub his ear. “Why is it that is the first thing everyone looks for when I show myself?”
“Fred,” she said, her voice shaking. She reached up to wipe the tears from her face, but Fred was quicker. As his hand touched her cheek, she shivered.
“Sorry, I keep forgetting…I must feel like Nearless Headless Nick to you,” he said as he gave her a small smile.
“I don’t understand,” she said, “why are you more solid than he is?”
Fred chuckled, leave it to Hermione to be logical first. “I guess because I am not an earthbound ghost. I really don’t know. I’ll have to ask Dumbledore when I get back.”
Fred stood and sat on the arm of the chair. “So, do you want to tell me why you were crying or do you want me to guess?” he asked.
When she didn’t answer, Fred continued, “You are feeling guilty because you couldn’t save me. You didn’t do anything to protect me when the wall fell.” Fred knew from the expression on her face, he had guessed correctly.
“Hermione, there was nothing you could have done. What if by saving me, Harry or Ron was killed? Or even Percy? Everything worked out the way it was supposed to,” he said.
Looking around the common room, Fred smiled.
“Hermione, do you know what I think of when I look around here? Do you know what I remember?” he asked.
“No, what do you remember?” Hermione asked. She was glad that for now, the topic had changed from her guilt to something else.
“I remember you telling George and me off for testing our products on first-years. I remember celebrating with Harry during the Triwizard Tournament, I remember celebrating into the wee hours of the morning after each Quidditch win. That is what I remember sitting here.” Fred stood and began walking around the common room.
“If I were to walk the halls, I would remember other good times,” he said. “If I went down to the Entrance Hall, I would think about you telling me the Aging Potion wouldn’t work,” he said and began laughing.
“They were nice beards,” said Hermione smiling. “It was like looking at the…the future.” Her voice trailed off as tears again began sliding down her face.
“Hermione,” Fred said as he came back around the chair and sat on the arm again, “don’t you see? My life may not have been long enough to grow that beard for real, but it was a good life. I had fun, I had my family, and I had you and Harry in my life. Who could ask for more?”
“But if I had been quicker…” Hermione said, her voice trailing off.
“No one saw the wall falling, there wasn’t anything you or any of us could have done to stop it,” Fred said.
“A cushioning charm…”
“Wouldn’t have worked and if you took the time to cast one, maybe you would be dead,” Fred said, shaking his head. “You weren’t meant to die that night, you had other things to do.” Fred smiled knowingly.
“But, you had things to do, too,” she said, tears welling in her eyes again.
“Hermione,” Fred said quietly, “I did more with my life than most wizards do if they live to as old as Dumbledore was. And…I had fun every minute of my life, even at the end,” he said solemnly.
Hermione looked at Fred. He did seem content with what had happened to him. So, why was she still having such a hard time with it?
“I’m being selfish, aren’t I?” she asked.
“Selfish?” Fred asked, confusion in his voice.
“I know we weren’t as close as we could have been, but…I…I miss you so much,” she said as the tears spilled out of her eyes again. “Everywhere I go here, I can think of something that you did, or some prank you pulled. I thought it would be hard being here without Ron and Harry, but I see them all the time. It’s not only them I miss, I miss…you,” she said, the last words spoken softly.
“You think about me?” Fred asked shocked.
“Yeah, did you know that piece of swamp is still in the corridor by Gregory the Swarmy? Flitwick roped it off and it is still there,” she told him.
“That was a bit of genius that swamp. It was so much fun upsetting the reign of Umbridge. Though Mum had a few choice words for us when she found out what we had done.”
“Your mum was and still is very proud of you. You know she only wanted what was best for you, right?” she asked him.
“Yeah, I know. I never realised how much she did for us until George and I moved out. Let me tell you, washing your own socks really wakes a person up,” he said chuckling.
Hermione gave a small chuckle. “I guess it would.”
“Listen, when you walk around here and think of me, think of the good stuff and how much fun I had doing it. Don’t think about the bad. I had fun, I had a good life, short though it was, it was a good life.” Fred stood and looked down at her.
“I wouldn’t trade all the fun I had to have my life back. I enjoyed every minute of my life. That is what you need to remember,” he said.
“I’ll try,” she said uncertainly.
“You are the smartest witch I every met, besides Mum. Use your logic and you’ll be fine.”
“I have been, it just wasn’t working tonight. I just couldn’t think logically about it anymore. Sometimes…” She shook her head. She hated to cry and the one time she couldn’t fight it anymore, Fred appears.
“There is nothing wrong with tears. I guess I was just surprised to find you crying. You were always the strong one,” he said.
“Well, I am damn sick and tired of being the strong one,” she said angrily. “Over the past seven months, I have been strong for everyone, Ron, Harry, your mum and dad. Even here, I have to be the strong one for Ginny. Just when do I get to let go and have someone be strong for me? I loved you, too,” she said. She reached up and wiped at the tears falling unbidden down her face.
Fred smiled. “You are the perfect match for Ron. You won’t let him get away with anything, will you?” he asked. “You don’t have to be strong for everyone all the time. You have as much right to cry as anyone.” He knelt down in front of her.
“I know you don’t know this, but I always thought of you as a little sister. I’m glad you and Ron finally stopped dancing around it and opened up to your feelings for each other. You will make a wonderful Weasley with your temper,” he said.
Standing, he took a few steps away from her towards the shadows. “Tears are okay, as long as they are for the right reason. Don’t cry because you didn’t save me, don’t cry because I never got a chance to grow a real beard. Crying because you miss me, well…” He smiled.
“I might be gone, but my memories and legacy will live on. When missing me gets to be too much, go visit the swamp.”
Hermione watched as he walked deeper into the shadows and disappeared. Standing, she turned and went out the portrait hole. Hoping she wouldn’t be caught by any teacher, she walked quickly to the corridor with Gregory the Swarmy.
Visits From Fred by mudbloodproud
Chapter Notes: Chapter Summary; Hermione is back at Hogwarts. Everyday she walks the halls filled with the memories of those lost. But, there is one loss she just can't handle anymore. Can a late night discussion about old pranks make her feel better?
Again, I need to thank my friend and beta, Alyssa (harry4lif).
I do not own anything you recogise in this story. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am grateful to get to play in her world for a bit.