“Bloody hell,” Ron said as he flinched at the sound of the slamming bedroom door. He could hear the sounds of his mother’s crying even though he sat in the kitchen. He had felt relief when she had started yelling at him, but that relief was short-lived as her tears had soon followed. She immediately retreated to her room.
He had waited until after Christmas to tell her he was joining the Auror Department permanently instead of going to work in the shop with George. The resulting explosion from her was what he had expected and secretly hoped for.
He knew she was worried over his safety but right now, he just couldn’t face working day after day with George. It wasn’t George’s fault he was a constant reminder of what this family had lost. Ron felt guilty over even thinking of him that way, but it was the truth.
Eventually he knew he would go and work in the shop. But, right now, he needed to do this. He needed to…
What? he wondered. What did he need to do?
“You need to prove yourself to yourself,” came a voice from the shadows.
Ron stood quickly, looking towards the voice. It just couldn’t be…it couldn’t be…Fred.
“Why can’t it be?” asked Fred as he stepped closer to Ron. “It can be, and it is, your favourite brother.”
“Who ever said you were my favourite?” asked Ron, still not sure if what he was seeing and hearing was real.
“I’m real enough, at least, for you right here and right now,” said Fred. He turned his head slightly as if listening to something. “Don’t worry about Mum. She’ll come around.”
“I hate hearing her crying,” said Ron. Sitting back down, he continued, “I don’t mind when she yells at me. That is a relief. She’s spent too much time crying lately.”
Fred took a couple steps towards the stairs before stopping suddenly as if he walked into a wall. Shrugging his shoulders, he turned and went back to the table.
“Guess it isn’t time, yet,” he said sadly.
“How can you sit there listening to her crying, knowing she is crying over you and not go to her?” asked Ron, his face turning red as his anger at his brother rose.
“Because I have to. I am not here to see her. I am here for you,” replied Fred. Tearing his eyes away from the stairs, he looked at his baby brother.
“I don’t need you,” Ron said angrily. “Mum does. Go to her!”
“You do need me or I wouldn’t be here. I know Mum needs me too, but not just yet. This time, it is you I am here for,” said Fred sadly.
“I don’t need you!” Ron whispered furiously. “I’ve done fine these past eight months without you. So you can just go back to heaven or hell or wherever it is you have been and leave me the hell alone.” Ron stood and walked into the sitting room and away from the pain just as he had been doing for the last eight months.
“Running away, burying the pain won’t make me go away. It won’t stop the hurt, either,” said Fred as he followed behind his brother.
“What in the hell do you know about it? You haven’t been here, you don’t know what this family has been going through,” said Ron struggling to keep his voice down.
“Do you want to know? Do you even care?” he asked. Not waiting for an answer from Fred, he went on. “Mum spent the first couple months crying whenever she looked at any of us. George…George spent months in your room, at first, he wouldn’t even eat. Bill and Charlie took care of that problem, but even they couldn’t get him to come out.
“Then one day, he packs up and moves out. After that, it got really wonderful around here. Mum stopped even trying to be Mum. She didn’t cook, she didn’t do anything but sit in her room, day and night. Again, Bill and Charlie took care of that.
“Dad finally went back to work, and George, one day finally decided to open the shop and come home for dinner. After that, Mum was a bit better, but not quite Mum. She never yelled at any of us, no matter what we did or didn’t do. She still doesn’t really yell. That is why her yelling at me tonight was such a relief.”
“It was like having Mum back,” said Fred.
“Yeah, but it didn’t last, now did it?” asked Ron.
“You blame me because I died, don’t you?” asked Fred.
“Why couldn’t you have been paying attention? For once in your life, couldn’t you have stopped joking and been serious? Did you think we were there for fun and games?” Ron paused and took a deep breath. “Did you even think about what would happen to Mum or Dad if something happened to you? What would happen to me? To all of us? Did you even care?” Ron stopped and wiped disgustedly at the tears trailing down his face.
Fred didn’t respond. He knew he had to let Ron get it all out. When it seemed as if Ron had run out of steam, he sat down next to his brother.
“I didn’t set out to die, Ron. I think you know that. As far as taking the whole thing serious, of course I did. I knew going in there was a chance one of us could die, that I could die. I also knew if I was going to die that night, I was going to go out on my terms. The fact the last thing I did was make a joke…well, that just worked out according to my plan.”
“You planned to die?” Ron asked incredulously. “You selfish bastard-”
“Whoa! Wait a minute there little brother. I’ll take a lot of insults and accusations from you but not that. I never planned to die. Hell, given a choice, no one would have died. But, if my dying saved even one other person, then it was worth it. Selfish? I don’t think so,” Fred said defensively.
“Okay, so you didn’t plan on dying, but if you had been paying more attention…” Ron said.
“It wouldn’t have mattered, Ron. Don’t you see? It wouldn’t have changed anything. I was meant to die, just as you were meant to live... just as everyone else in this family was meant to live.”
Fred waited for what he said to cut through Ron’s anger before he asked, “So, is there anything else bothering you?”
“No,” Ron said stiffly.
“You still think it is Mum I should be here to see, don’t you?” At Ron’s nod, Fred sighed. “I will see Mum, just not tonight. Before you ask, I don’t know when. This visiting thing, I don’t control it. I can’t control who I see or when.”
“If you don’t control it, then how do you know when to come? Who decides that because I think you should tell them Mum needs you the most,” Ron said.
“It is hard to explain. The first time, I was given a choice of who to come and talk to. I chose Dad because he needed me the most. He wasn’t grieving; he was hiding his pain from everyone. The second time, I ended up in the kitchen with Percy. Not my choice, it just happened.” Fred looked at Ron to see if he believed him.
“I get this feeling that one of you needs me, and the next thing I know, I am standing in the shadows, looking at one of you suffering.”
“Who else have you seen?” asked Ron.
“After Dad and Percy, I saw George, Charlie and Bill. Then a couple months ago, I found myself in the corner of the Gryffindor Common Room listening to Hermione crying. After her, it was Harry, now it is you. That only leaves Ginny and Mum. So I can safely say, I’ll be seeing Mum soon,” Fred said.
“Good, because she needs you the most. I still don’t understand though if you can come down to talk to one of us who needs you, then why haven’t you seen Mum yet?” Ron persisted.
“I don’t know,” said Fred impatiently. “Perhaps because her crying and mood swings or lack of them, is right. She is grieving. I guess that is what she is supposed to be doing, so I am not really needed.” Fred shrugged his shoulders.
“Are you still mad at me?” Fred asked Ron.
“No, I don’t think I ever was, not really,” he said.
“Yes, you were. And you felt guilty because you were mad at me. It is perfectly natural for you to be mad at me. I did leave. I did die and leave a hole in this family. But, I never meant for it to happen. It just did. You have to accept that. Being angry at me isn’t going to change what happened. Nothing can,” Fred told him.
“Listen, Dad will talk sense into Mum. You need to do what you need to do for you. Does George need you at the shop with him?” Fred shook his head. “Not right now. Right now, I think he needs to do this himself. If you offered to help him, he would be insulted thinking you didn’t think he can do it himself.” Fred stood and looked down at Ron.
“He can do it himself, he just needs time to prove that to himself, just as you need time to find yourself. Explain that to Mum tomorrow, calmly. Give her time, and she will see you are right.” Fred turned and began walking towards the kitchen. Ron stood and followed behind him.
Fred stopped just before the shadows of the kitchen started and turned to look at Ron. Smiling, he said, “Let go of the anger, Ron. If you don’t…if you don’t, you are going to drive everyone away, including Hermione. She loves you. Why? I don’t know, but she does. Let it go and be happy, little brother.” Fred turned and walked into the shadows.
“And every once in a while, pull a prank for me. After all, you are a Weasley.” Fred’s voice faded away.
Ron stood where he was without moving for about five minutes. Then, shaking his head as if coming out of a trance, he smiled and began to laugh. When his mother came into the kitchen, he walked over to her and hugged her.
“I love you, Mum. Someday, I will go and work with George, but right now, right now, I need to be an Auror, for me.” He kissed his mother on the cheek and walked up the stairs smiling while his mother stood staring after him wondering if he had finally lost his mind.
Visits From Fred by mudbloodproud
Chapter Notes: Chapter Summary:
Ron grieved when his brother died. He cried and moved on.
Or did he?
It just takes one fight with his mother and a late night visitor for Ron to realise he has been burying his true feelings.
I wish to thank my wonderful beta, Alyssa (harry4lif).
I do not own anything you recogise in this story. It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am just thankful to be able to play in her world for a while.