“Potter, Evans. My desk, please,” McGonagall said briskly the next day as Transfiguration drew to a close. Lily looked wistfully at her classmates as they filed out of the classroom, then trudged slowly towards McGonagall, James on her heels.
They stood side-by-side before her desk, not looking at each other. McGonagall surveyed them for a long moment before saying, “You will both be doing your detentions tonight.”
James cleared his throat and she looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “Together?” he asked.
Her eyes flashed. “Yes, Potter, together. Unless that presents a problem?” When neither Lily nor James spoke, she continued. “You will meet Professor Slughorn in the dungeons tonight at eight”he has some cauldrons that need to be cleaned out.”
Ignoring both James’s groan and Lily’s sigh of relief, McGonagall turned back towards her desk. Taking this as a dismissal, James turned to leave. Lily hesitated a moment longer, then followed him.
She walked a few paces behind him for several moments as they headed towards Gryffindor Tower, and then decided that that was stupid and caught up to him. James looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and then lengthened his stride so she was almost jogging to keep up. Despite what he had said to Remus, he hadn’t entirely forgiven her for her words to Snape outside the Shrieking Shack.
“So this won’t be too bad,” Lily said, trying to look as if she was walking at a normal pace.
James snorted. “Maybe not for you,” he said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lily asked sharply.
James sighed and stopped abruptly. Lily took a few steps past him before realizing, and she turned to face him. “It means,” James said slowly, “that Slughorn loves you, so this detention is barely a punishment for you. You probably help him clean out cauldrons in your spare time already.”
Lily squeaked indignantly, but James ignored this. “Me, I’m going to get stuck with all the grunt work,” he continued, “while Slughorn probably pulls you up to chat about some new advanced potion he’s working on. ”
He started to walk towards Gryffindor Tower again, but Lily stepped in front of him, blocking his path. “I can pull my own weight,” she said angrily. “Especially since it is my fault that you’re even in this detention.”
“Hey!” he said, scowling. “Now you’re going to take all the credit for that food fight? You may have provoked me, but I am perfectly capable of getting my own detentions.”
She threw her hands into the air. “You’re impossible!” she cried, and stomped away.
He watched her go for a long moment before following, his stony expression twitching slightly, as though with the beginnings of a smile.
---
They ignored each other with as much dignity as possible when they met in the dungeons that night. Luckily, they only had to endure a few minutes of uncomfortable silence before Slughorn bustled in.
“Ah, excellent, excellent,” he said, beaming at them, his hands resting contentedly on his potbelly. “You’re the last person I’d expect to see in my dungeons for detention, Lily! Must’ve been that cheekiness. I always wondered if there was anything you wouldn’t be able to talk your way out of…”
Lily smiled tightly. Usually she liked Professor Slughorn quite a lot, but at the moment, she rather wished he’d stop talking. She was uncomfortably aware of James’s smirk.
“To business!” Slughorn announced. “I’ve just received a shipment of cauldrons that looked as though they’ve never been cleaned before, and I figured, Lily, since you were such an asset the other day when you helped me clean out those frogspawn buckets””
Lily winced and looked involuntarily at James, whose smug grin had widened. I knew it, he mouthed, and she quickly looked back at Slughorn.
“Although,” the Potions master was saying regretfully, “since this is a punishment, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to clean them without magic. Builds character, you know. Not that either of you are particularly lacking in character, ho ho! Now then, if you’d follow me…”
He set off for an adjacent room and they followed, somewhat miserably. When he pushed open the door, Lily’s mouth dropped. The room was bursting with cauldrons, far more than she had expected. They piled from floor to ceiling in the back corners and overflowed from cabinets. And they were filthy. Lily thought she heard James whimper, but she was too horrified to taunt him for it.
“Right,” Slughorn said distractedly. “I’ll just, ah, leave you to it then!” And he edged out of the room.
“This,” James said, matter-of-factly, “is going to take all night.”
Lily looked at him worriedly. “You really think so?”
“Even with magic it would take forever,” he scoffed. “Without? It’ll probably take all morning, too.”
“Good thing it’s Friday,” she said.
James sighed heavily and went to the opposite end of the room.
Slughorn had, mercifully, left them buckets of warm, soapy water that replenished themselves when they got too filthy, but scrubbing out the cauldrons was hard work, and Lily was soon disheveled.
For the first two hours, she and James ignored each other. Halfway through the third, he broke the silence and asked her to pass a sponge. As she did so, she realized gratifyingly that his hair was even messier than usual and his glasses were slipping down his nose.
They were about three-quarters of the way through the cauldrons when Lily finally rocked back onto her heels and looked over at him. “What time do you reckon it is?”
“Late,” he grunted, scrubbing at his cauldron. He lifted his sponge, peered closely at the side of the cauldron and, apparently satisfied, tossed the sponge in. “Or early,” he said, turning to look at Lily.
She rolled her eyes at him. “I figured that out for myself, thanks,” she sniped.
“Then don’t ask me,” he shot back.
She fished a frog spleen out from one of her yet-unclean cauldrons and threw it at him. It hit him in the shoulder and slid slowly down his arm.
“Hey!” he yelped, plucking it off. Then he wagged his finger at her, mock-stern. “That’s the kind of antic that landed us in detention in the first place.”
He flicked the spleen across the room, then looked at her sideways. “Hey, Evans?” he said softly.
“Yeah?”
“Do me a favor.”
“Depends,” she said suspiciously.
“Please never tell me what that was.”
Once again, he had surprised her into laughter, and she liked how comfortable it felt. He grinned crookedly”not quite at her, but near her”and said, “I wonder if Slughorn’s even here anymore.”
Lily scrambled to her feet. “Let’s go check!”
“I don’t think so,” James said. “I don’t want another detention for not taking my first detention seriously.”
“Please,” Lily said. “They wouldn’t do that.”
“You’d be surprised,” James said darkly.
“Fine, I’ll check,” Lily said. She hesitated, and then couldn’t resist adding, “Scaredy-cat.”
He shrugged and picked up his sponge again. “At least I won’t get another detention,” he muttered.
Lily tiptoed to the door and cracked it open. She peered outside, and was delighted to see Slughorn slumped forward onto his desk, fast asleep. Beside him was her wand and another that she assumed belonged to James. Emboldened by both restlessness and the empty tankard beside his head, Lily crept forward, grabbed the two wands, and dashed back into the other room.
James looked up as she entered; grinning wickedly, she tossed him his wand. “Slughorn’s asleep,” she half-whispered. “Looks like he’ll stay that way for awhile. Come on, let’s finish this job the easy way.”
James raised his eyebrows, looking between the wand in his hand and Lily. “Let me make sure I have this right,” he said. “Lily Evans”a prefect, Slughorn’s prize student, and all around goody-two-shoes”wants to cheat her way out of detention?”
“It’s barely cheating,” Lily said, shifting uncomfortably. “And I am not a goody-two-shoes!”
“So it would seem,” James said wryly, getting to his feet beside her. “All right, Evans, I’m impressed. Let’s do this, get out of here before dawn.”
Within the next ten minutes, the rest of the cauldrons were clean and stacked with the others. Lily wiped her brow with her forehead and said, suddenly tired, “We may actually get some sleep now.”
“Full moon tonight,” James remarked out of nowhere, and Lily looked at him.
“What does that have to do with anything?” she said.
He seemed to suddenly remember that she was there. “Uh, nothing,” he said hurriedly. “Let’s go wake Slughorn up.”
They went into the other room, set their wands back down beside Slughorn, and woke him up. He congratulated them on their work, handed back their wands (Lily tried not to look too guilty), and sent them on their way before trundling off to his own rooms.
Lily headed back towards Gryffindor Tower in a daze. She was halfway there when she realized James was no longer behind her. Disgruntled, she looked around, but he seemed to have disappeared. She sighed huffily and continued on her way, finally falling into bed just as the first pink tinges of morning stained the sky.
---
Beneath the Invisibility Cloak, James bolted for the front doors as Lily made her way towards the dorm. He hurried across the grounds, preparing to transform into his stag, when he saw a rat and a dog emerge from the Whomping Willow. He looked at them unhappily and pulled off the cloak.
The dog gave a loud bark and bounded forward, the rat scurrying to keep up. Suddenly tired, James sat down as Sirius trotted up and licked him on the face. Absently, James scratched the massive dog behind the ears. Sirius wagged his tail, then rolled over. James looked at him doubtfully.
“Padfoot,” he said, “I’m not rubbing your stomach.”
The dog turned back into Sirius. “Oh yeah,” he said sheepishly. “Sometimes I get carried away.”
Peter had also resumed his original form. “We missed you tonight,” he said to James, his nose still twitching a little.
James looked at them mournfully. “I know,” he said. “That detention ran way longer than I thought it would.”
“How was it?” Peter asked.
James shrugged. Sirius looked at him skeptically. “You spent a whole night locked in a room with Lily Evans and nothing happened?” he asked.
“Oh, please, Padfoot,” James said. “We’re barely speaking right now. I’m so over her.”
Both Peter and Sirius snorted at that. James looked at them sharply, and they both tried and failed to stifle their giggles.
“I am!” James protested, but it only made them laugh harder.
“Prove it,” Sirius said, a note of challenge in his voice. “Date someone else. It’s been awhile.”
“Not that long,” James said.
“Try a year,” Sirius said sourly. “I don’t think you’ve gone out with anyone since like, the middle of fifth year.”
“There’s no one I want to date!” James said, fidgeting uncomfortably.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Sure there is,” he said. “Her name’s Lily Evans.” James opened his mouth to argue, but Sirius continued, “Don’t argue with me, Prongs. You’re not going to convince me.”
“Fine,” James said sullenly.
“Wolfboy was nervous without you around,” Sirius said to break the silence.
“Really?” James asked, looking up.
Peter nodded. “It’s like he knew something was missing. He kept looking back at the castle and whining, and he didn’t even try to eat me today!”
James was oddly touched. “I’ll be there next time!” he promised, getting to his feet. “We should probably try to get some sleep now though.” He pulled out the Invisibility Cloak, and, huddled under it, the three of them headed towards the castle.
---
A week later marked the end of January, a light snowfall, and Lily’s seventeenth birthday. She woke early that morning, savoring the quiet. It was Friday, she was of age, spring wasn’t far away…things were going well.
She was startled from her reverie by loud squealing; opening her eyes, she saw Mary hurtling towards her. Although their friendship had been strained lately it wasn’t over, and Lily appreciated this as Mary launched into a not-particularly-tuneful rendition of “Happy Birthday,” encouraging Leda and Amelia to join in.
The four of them went down to breakfast together, chatting happily. When mail came, Lily looked up expectantly, and was delighted at the small bundle of letters that landed by her plate.
She had already read a lengthy letter from her parents, as well as a somewhat shorter one from Petunia, when she realized the piece of parchment by her elbow. The handwriting was that of her mysterious letter writer. She hadn’t gotten one in so long that she almost knocked over her juice as she seized it eagerly.
Lily, it began,
I know you haven’t heard from me in awhile, and I’m sorry about that. I guess I realized that, maybe, it’s impossible for us to be friends, and maybe I should just let go and leave you alone.
But I can’t do that without saying something first. Maybe you’ll never know who this is, but I need to say it. I need to know you heard it, even if you don’t know who it’s coming from.
I’m in love with you, Lily. I don’t know how it happened”it certainly wasn’t on purpose, because you’re maybe the last girl in the school who would ever look at me like I could really mean anything to you. But I do. I love you, and I won’t stop. I just needed you to know that.
Happy birthday.
Lily put the letter down, stunned. She glanced furtively around the hall, but no one caught her eye, and she looked back down at the letter. Maybe I should have seen this coming, she thought, but I’m thrown.
The day passed slowly. Lily waited impatiently for classes to be over, but each one dragged on and on. When night had finally fallen and the students were left to return to the library or their various dorms, Lily cornered Mary in their common room. “I have to show you something,” she murmured, and dragged the small girl up the stairs.
“What’s going on, Lily?” Mary asked warily. In response, Lily shoved the letter into her hand.
Mary’s eyes widened as she read. “Oh, Lily,” she said softly when she got to the end.
“I know,” Lily said. “There are more.” She dragged the older letters out from beneath her mattress and dumped them on Mary’s bed.
Mary sat down and started sorting through them. “Wow,” she said. “I had no idea you were getting these.”
“I didn’t tell anyone,” Lily admitted. “I kind of liked having something like that to myself.”
“I don’t blame you,” Mary said, picking up the first letter. “And you have no idea who they’re from?”
Lily hesitated. “Well,” she said, “I have an idea.”
Mary dropped the letter. “Who?” she asked loudly.
“I think,” Lily paused, taking a breath. “I think it might be Severus.”
Mary bit her lip. “Oh,” she said. “Snape.”
“Yeah,” Lily said, almost apologetically. “I mean, the first one is an apology for what happened at the end of fifth year. And that’s when we stopped being friends”when he called me a Mudblood.”
“Yeah,” Mary said. “It does make sense. But Lily…that means he’s in love with you.”
“Yes,” Lily said dryly, sitting next to her. “I realize that.”
“Well do you…do you love him back?” Mary asked slowly, as though she didn’t want to know the answer.
“No,” Lily said at once.
“Really?” Mary perked up.
“Really,” Lily smiled at her. “I mean, come on, Mary, what do you take me for? I never had feelings for him when we were friends, and that was before he started hanging out with Mulciber and Avery and their kind. Before he seemed primed to join You-Know-Who…before he was the kind of person he is now.”
“I’m relieved,” Mary said, looking it. “I was never really sure.”
Lily laughed. “Don’t worry,” she assured her. “And anyway, there’s no way I could be in love with Snape now, not when I’m””
“Not when you’re what?” Mary asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Lily said, shaking her head confusedly. “Um, anyway, I was thinking…I should still probably try and talk to Severus. I mean, I can’t just ignore something like this, especially if I know who it’s from.”
To her surprise, Mary nodded. “Yeah, I think you should,” she said, apparently much more tolerant of Snape now that she knew Lily harbored no secret feelings for him. “In the very least, you can remind him that nothing’s going to happen.”
Lily nodded distractedly and said, “I also just sort of want to know…if any part of him that I knew is still left over. I mean, if he’s writing these letters, then he’s still Sev, somewhere. And there might be a chance. To keep him from getting completely involved in the Dark Arts, I mean.”
She got to her feet. “Good luck!” Mary called after her.
Lily found Severus in the first place she thought to look for him”the Potions room. He was alone, she was relieved to see, leaning over a cauldron, looking focused.
Not knowing what to say, she knocked on the doorframe. He looked up, seeing her, and his eyes narrowed. “What do you want?” he barked.
Taking a deep breath, she approached him. “I want to talk to you,” she said, and looked at the cauldron curiously. “What are you making?”
“I’m experimenting,” he said evasively, edging the cauldron away. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Well,” she said slowly, “I’ve been getting some anonymous letters this year. Apologizing for last year, trying to be friendly, that kind of thing. And I thought they might be from you.”
“And?” he said, neither confirming nor denying that he had written them.
“And,” she said hesitantly, “well, the last one…in the last one, whoever wrote it said that he was, you know, in love with me.” She was rushing now, avoiding his gaze as she finished hurriedly, “And I just wanted you to know that, even though I’ve never felt the same way, I think it was really brave of you to tell me and I appreciate the gesture, and””
“I didn’t write them,” he interrupted her.
“I”oh,” she said, falling silent.
Severus stood up, walking towards her deliberately. He stopped an inch away from her face, his black eyes boring into her green ones. “Did you really think,” he said, every word precise and cold, “that I would write something like that? We’re done, Lily. We’re out of each other’s lives. You made that pretty clear. And I’ve got to be honest, not having you around? It’s been kind of a relief. I can’t say I miss your whining or your nitpicking or any of your pathetic little thoughts. I’ve been getting some peace and quiet lately, and I’ve found my real friends. And you thought,” he paused and laughed once, brutally, before continuing, “you thought that I’m in love with you? I didn’t know you flattered yourself that much, Lily. Just so you know, I’d never, ever feel anything for a filthy, backstabbing, know-it-all Mudblood like you.”
Satisfied, he turned on his heel and stalked back to the table.
She swallowed hard. “Well,” she said, finally, her voice barely more than a whisper, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” And she turned and walked from the classroom, her head held high.
She didn’t run until she was sure she was too far for him to hear her footfalls speed up. But then run she did, tearing through the corridors, and finally, without thinking, really, where she was going, to the grounds.
Lily tore through the piles of snow, past the Quidditch pitch where she could see several figures on brooms swooping around”she couldn’t tell what House, and she didn’t care. She stopped at the edge of the lake, beside a wide tree, and leaned against it as she burst into tears.
She sobbed like she had never sobbed before. She pressed her hands into her face and cried, not just because of what Snape had said to her, but because this, more than anything, truly marked the end of the friendship. The old Severus, her best friend in both of her worlds, was dead now, and the boy who took his place was a mockery of the original.
After a few minutes, she felt the cold. The wind was picking up, and she hadn’t brought a cloak in her mad dash out of the castle. She bit her lip, but didn’t move”she didn’t want anyone to see her like this.
“Lily?”
She held her breath, startled. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, James Potter standing just behind her. He was wearing full Quidditch gear, and she realized that it was the Gryffindor team who had been practicing, and he must have seen her running across the grounds.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding worried.
She nodded, turning away from him so he couldn’t see her face. “I’m fine,” she said, putting a hand on the tree to steady herself.
She could feel him still standing behind her, reluctant to leave. Unintentionally, she felt a sob rip through her, and she put a hand to her mouth to stifle the sound.
James moved, and for a moment she thought he was leaving, but then she felt his hand on her shoulder. She tensed, and turned to face him, knowing full well he was about to take in her flushed and tear-stained cheeks.
He looked at her for a long moment, and then, to her surprise, he tugged her forward. Both of his arms went around her, and Lily pressed her face into his chest and let go.
No one had ever seen her cry like this”not Mary, not even Severus. And yet she sobbed into James Potter, feeling his arms tighten around her and the steady rise and fall of his chest. He held her until her tears had run their course. She took a few deep breathes, comforted by his warmth.
“Hey James?” she said finally, her voice muffled by the remnants of her cry and by the fabric of his sweater.
“Mhm?”
“You make me really mad sometimes.”
She felt his laugh rumble through him, and he rested his chin on top of her head. “I know,” he said. “You make me really mad sometimes too, Evans.”
Standing there in his arms, where he couldn’t see her face, she smiled.
Trickster by Willow Rosenberg
Chapter Notes: A relatively Lily-centric chapter.Enjoy!
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