Lily broke away from him with a small gasp, her hand going softly to her face. For a moment they just looked at each other”she searchingly, he calmly, all his anger dissolving. She half shook her head and opened her mouth, but no words came. Finally, after what seemed like days, James stepped forward, so close that they were almost touching, and broke the silence for her.
“You do realize,” he said conversationally, “that I’ve had something of a crush on you for about the past three years. But I’ve been in love with you for the last few months, and if I didn’t act like it, it’s because you didn’t always seem too receptive, and I didn’t want to risk anything. What I’m saying, Lily, is that I’m not sorry. And when you’ve figured it out, I’ll be here.”
He backed up, starting, slowly, to walk up to the castle. And Lily who knew, logically, that she’d figured nothing out, that rationally the best thing to do was let him disappear, let them both have a summer apart to think, also knew that if he took one more step away, she wouldn’t be able to bear it.
“Wait,” she called, finding her voice.
James turned towards her, silhouetted by the gloriously dying light of the sun setting into the lake, and in three strides she had reached him, slid one hand around the back of his neck, and”she would never be sure, later, which one of them was more surprised in that moment”stretched onto her toes to kiss him back.
Lily had been kissed before, but never like this, never like it meant something. It had always been out of curiosity or boredom, or occasionally because Mary dared her, and she’d spent the whole time waiting for it to be over, thinking about classes or dinner or how she was going to relate this story to her friends. This time, though, she wasn’t thinking anything at all.
Somehow, they had ended up under the tree again, her back against the wide, cool trunk. James leaned into her, and no boy before him had ever made her want to press herself forward, to hold on like she was doing now. His hand skimmed along her side and she tangled her fingers in his hair”that perpetually messy hair”so she could pull him closer. He seemed only too happy to oblige.
---
In the Gryffindor common room, Sirius drummed his fingers worriedly on the table. “This chat is taking a lot longer than I thought it would,” he said.
Across from him, Remus slumped forward, resting his chin in his hands. “Maybe they killed each other,” he suggested dolefully. Sirius considered this.
Farther down the table, Peter snored loudly.
---
In the end, they lay shoulder-to-shoulder under the tree as night came on, her leg thrown over his, their fingers brushing, neither one of them wanting to go back to the castle. It was amazing, James thought, being here with her like this, the almost-summer night warm around them. It was the kind of thing he’d thought about for so long”too long, almost, as though the real thing would never be able to measure up. But it had, somehow…somehow lying with her on the grass after midnight on the last day before the holidays, flushed and giggling like children and pointing out shooting stars was enough, was better than anything he could have imagined.
With that in mind, he rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow so he could peer down at her. “So,” he said cautiously, “what does all this mean? You know””
“For us?” Lily finished for him. She closed her eyes for a long moment before saying, “I don’t know. Can we…can we wait to figure that out until next year? I mean, there’s a whole summer to get through, and honestly, I feel like I barely have my head on straight right now.”
Grinning wryly, James settled back down beside her. “I know what you mean,” he said. “And I can wait. But I’m not too worried, really, you’re already finishing my sentences.”
She groaned and elbowed him in the side. He pretended it hurt.
“Oh, look, there’s one,” Lily said suddenly, pointing into the sky, and James looked, watching the falling star as it shot past the half-moon.
“Nice moon,” he murmured, almost deliriously.
Lily turned her head to look at him. “I was telling Remus the other day,” she said slowly, “lucky it wasn’t a full moon for exams.”
“Well, yeah, for him it definitely is,” James said lazily. “Although I always love them, it’s nice to””
Realizing what he was saying, he cut himself off and sat bolt upright. “You know?” he asked incredulously.
Lily smiled guiltily. “I figured it out awhile ago,” she admitted. “The werewolf thing, anyway. You other three were a little trickier. I’m actually still not sure I’m right.”
James gaped at her for a moment. “Well,” he finally stuttered, “what’s your theory?”
“Oh, I don’t really have one right now,” Lily said, flapping a hand at him. “I mean, honestly, unless the three of you are unregistered Animagi or something…”
She trailed off at the look on his face. “You are?” she squealed delightedly, dissolving into laughter as he nodded tightly.
“Why is that so funny?” he asked her a little snippily, but an amused grin still spread across his face as he watch her roll around in the grass.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Lily said, regaining control of herself. “It’s just so far-fetched. That, and now I can’t stop picturing you with antlers.”
“You know I’m a stag, too?” James thundered.
“Well,” Lily said apologetically, “I did see your Patronus. And the whole ‘Prongs’ thing.”
James looked at her huffily. “Do you know about the Whomping Willow?” he finally asked.
Lily shook her head, and James looked triumphant. “Ha,” he said, leaning back against the tree trunk.
She looked at him for a long moment before finally asking, “Aren’t you going to tell me?”
“No way!” James said. “A man’s got to have some secrets!”
Lily rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she goaded. “I’ll just ask Sirius next time I see him. Hey, what does he turn into anyway?”
“You haven’t figured that out yet?” James asked.
“I have a pretty good idea,” Lily said, “but I’ll let you tell me.”
“Thanks,” James said dryly. “He’s a dog. Peter’s a rat.”
“I wasn’t sure about Peter!” Lily said. “But I did see Sirius’s Patronus, which helped.”
“Hey!” James said, remembering something suddenly. “We never did see your Patronus.”
“A girl’s got to have some secrets,” she teased him, and then squeaked as he poked her.
She poked him back, and they tussled in the grass for a moment before James finally said, “So what secrets do you have?”
Lily pretended to be shocked. “Not telling!” she said, and then paused. “Although,” she said, “in the interest of full disclosure, I should probably tell you that it was me who was pranking you at the beginning of the year.”
James choked. “That was you?” he nearly screeched.
Lily eyed him. “Well, yeah,” she said. “I was kind of…angry…about everything that happened last year. I thought it would be pretty good payback.”
James looked stunned. “So the winking thing?” he asked finally. “That was you?”
Lily grinned. “Oh, my favorite was the love potion,” she said wickedly, and James groaned. “Are you mad?” she asked him after a moment.”
He shook his head. “Mostly impressed,” he said. “Although that love potion thing kind of backfired on you a little, didn’t it? Forcing you to hang around with me and all.”
She scowled at him. “Only a little,” she said, and he winked.
“Hey,” he said, sitting forward again, “what do you say we go find that broom cupboard again and””
He stopped as she hit him in the stomach. “I’m only joking!” he wheezed, laughing. “Kind of. Wow. I still can’t believe that was you. It explained why you were so good at it later on, though.”
Lily blinked up at him innocently. “I’m a natural,” she said.
“I guess so,” he replied, still looking at her, almost awe-struck. “But don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easily.”
“What hook?” she asked indignantly.
“I’m starting to believe you can’t actually make a Patronus,” James told her.
Lily groaned. “Oh, not that again,” she said. “I can make a perfectly good Patronus! It’s a fox.”
“Prove it,” James challenged.
“No! I don’t see why this is a big deal to you.”
“I’m highly competitive.”
“I see that.”
“I’m waiting.”
She glared at him. “Fine,” she said eventually, “if it’ll make you shut up about it.”
He bumped her with her shoulder, and she tried to keep a serious face, but she couldn’t.
Raising her wand, she looked directly at James and cried, “Expecto Patronum!”
As something silver burst from her wandtip, she raised an eyebrow at him, satisfied. “So there,” she said.
But James was laughing. “Evans,” he said, looking amused, “that’s not a fox.”
“What?” Lily said, confused. “Don’t be ridiculous of course it…it is…” She trailed off as she turned towards her Patronus, and her mouth agape.
She scrambled to her feet in complete shock. “That’s a doe,” she said. “That’s not my…I don’t understand.”
“She’s pretty,” James said pleasantly from the ground. “Actually, she reminds me of something…oh, yeah…Expecto Patronum!”
As his stag cantered forward to join the doe, Lily sat down again with a thump. Morning was approaching”the sky had lightened slightly, and a thin curtain of fog was rising. The two ghostly deer regarded each other for a long moment.
Lily let out a long breath. “This is really weird,” she said, stunned.
James just shrugged. “Nah,” he said. “I know what it means.”
Lily looked over her should at him in surprise. “You do?”
“Yeah,” he said, folding his arms up behind his head and looking pleased with himself. “You love me.”
He was delighted when she blushed scarlet. “I do not!” she said furiously.
James said nothing, just looked pointedly at the Patronuses, who blinked back at him for an instant before touching noses, disappearing, as they did so, into the early morning mist.
“So?” Lily challenged.
He shook his head, grinning. “Okay, okay,” he amended. “Maybe it just means you will.”
“Don’t get cocky on me now,” she scoffed.
He held up a finger. “Not cocky,” he said, leaning forward suddenly to brush a quick kiss across her cheekbone. “Confident.”
She shoved him away but she was laughing again. “Next year,” she told him. “Next year, we’ll see.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” he said and leaned forward again, this time bringing his mouth flush against hers. And this time, too, she let him.
---
They slipped back into their dormitories as the sun rose (“I think I forgot to pack,” James whispered as they snuck through the common room) pausing at the stairs for one last look.
“I can’t believe the next time we’ll see it, we’ll be in our last year,” Lily said with a sigh.
“Weird, isn’t it?” James agreed. “Well…good night. Good morning?”
She smiled softly. “See you in a few hours.”
He nodded, then paused. “Hey, Lily?”
“Yeah?”
James bit his lip, and then asked, “Are you going to tell anyone? About what happened?”
“No,” she said, “I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway. Not until summer’s over. For one, having other people involved would just make things even more confusing. But also…I kind of like that it’s just us.”
“Yeah,” James said quietly. “Me, too.” He stepped forward, looped an arm around her waist, and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Our secret,” he said as she leaned into him. “For now.”
---
Lily felt as if she had barely closed her eyes when Mary started shaking her awake.
“Come on, Lily, I already let you sleep through breakfast, but if you don’t get up now, you’re going to end up missing the train. And where on earth were you last night, I thought you died or something.”
Last night. The memories came flooding back, and Lily was unable to stop herself from beaming at Mary, who was standing by her bed, looking down at her severely. Lily leapt to her feet and flung her arms around her friend.
“Somebody’s in a good mood,” Mary muttered. “So are you going to tell me what happened or what?”
“Oh, nothing really,” Lily said, grinning ear-to-ear. “We talked.” Among other things. “It just seems like it’s going to be a beautiful day, that’s all.”
“Whatever,” Mary yawned. “Let’s go.”
---
When James woke, it took him a minute to realize that he wasn’t alone. Sirius was sprawled next to him, Remus had flung himself across James’s legs, and Peter was curled up at the foot of the bed. Jinx, looking delighted at this arrangement, had wedged herself between James and Sirius and was purring ferociously.
James was pretty sure that they had all been in their own beds when he had snuck in early that morning. Utterly bewildered, he reached for Sirius’s wrist, turning it so he could see his watch. Sirius twitched and blinked up at him.
“Hey,” Sirius said. “You’re alive. Moony, wake up!”
“I’m not sleeping,” Remus said, his voice muffled. There was a yelp, presumably from Peter. “Wormtail was, though.”
“Hi,” James said. “Why are you all in my bed?”
Sirius yawned, accidentally hitting James in the face as he stretched. “So you couldn’t sneak off again without us,” he said. “You are in lots of trouble, young man. Staying out all night, tsk!”
“I came back!” James protested.
“Eventually,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “We couldn’t even wake you up for breakfast. Although,” he grinned slyly, “we did notice that Lily wasn’t there, either.”
“Well, we were working out our issues,” James said vaguely.
The other three blinked at him expectantly.
“What?” James laughed. “That’s all. Nothing interesting. Oh, she does know that you’re a werewolf. And about the whole Animagus thing.”
“Yeah, I know,” Remus said, as Sirius and Peter both exclaimed.
Recovering himself, Sirius said, “You’d better finish packing, Prongs. The train leaves soon.”
James swore loudly and swung himself out of bed.
---
They made it just in time. Nearly all the compartments were full. Sirius and Remus moved through, looking for a place to sit, while Peter followed slowly, James bringing up the rear.
Peter looked as glum as ever as he shuffled down the aisle; even James, in his post-Lily haze, could see that. Half a car ahead of them, Sirius called, “Oi! I found one!” He and Remus slipped inside, but just before Peter reached the door, James grabbed him by the elbow.
“What’s up?” Peter asked, startled.
“Look, Wormtail,” James said, concerned. “I know you keep saying everything’s all right, but I can tell it isn’t. Things haven’t been right with us since the whole dueling-club fiasco, and I can’t help but think that I did something.”
To his surprise, Peter smiled. “Oh, stop worrying, Prongs,” he said. “It’s okay. I’m just sad to be going home right now, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?” James said uncertainly, and Peter nodded.
“Really,” he said earnestly. “Everything’s just fine.”
---
“Ladies!”
Mary and Lily looked up, surprised, as Sirius burst through the door of their compartment. “We’re joining you,” Sirius continued unnecessarily. “There is absolutely nowhere else to go.”
“What, we’re your last resort?” Mary said indignantly.
Lily, for her part, tried not to look too eager as she asked, “We?”
Before he could respond though, Remus pushed past him, followed a few moments later by Peter, who had on a rather forced smile, and, finally, James.
She caught his eye the second he stepped over the threshold, and a slow, smoldering smile spread across his face. For her part, she was aware that she was grinning like an idiot, but she couldn’t stop herself.
Thankfully, everyone else was too busy laughing at Sirius, who was singing the school song as miserably as he could, to notice their preoccupation. Lily moved down slightly in her seat, making room for James. He took it, sliding in next to her, and as they touched, she felt electrified; she found herself wondering, quite suddenly, why there were no broom closets on trains.
---
Everything wasn’t fine, not really, despite what he had said to James.
Peter leaned back in his seat, looking out the window of the train as the land flashed by. Everyone was talking about exams and the start of their seventh year, but Peter didn’t join in. He was feeling, as he had been feeling for so long now, rather uneasy.
He looked over at his three best friends; Sirius, handsome and cocksure, bigger than life, laughing uproariously at something that had been said. Remus, understated and whip-smart, smiling softly, full of that quiet strength and self-assurance. And James. James who was, once again, running a hand jauntily through his hair as he spoke. James, who Peter hero-worshipped because he had always defended him, always protected him. James who was sure and strong and invincible.
And James who had been in the hospital wing twice this year after near-fatal accidents. James who had been beaten by Severus Snape, thrown like a rag doll to the ground, his blood staining the floor. That moment…Peter closed his eyes, replaying it as he had so many times before”James running to his defense, bringing with him that overwhelming feeling that Peter always got when James entered the scene: that everything was okay now. That he was safe, protected. But then what always came next”Snape flinging out his wand, shouting, James falling to his knees, to his side, finally lying as still as the dead.
Peter had always thought that James was the best, the toughest. He thought that nothing could bring him down, and that as long as he had James on his side, he didn’t have to be afraid of the world. But he knew now, had seen with his own eyes, that James, too, could be defeated. He could break like anyone else.
Peter turned his face towards the window again. For the first time, in the company of all his friends, he didn’t feel safe.
---
They reached the train station quicker than Lily could have imagined. The boys slipped out shortly before arrival to change into their Muggle clothes, giving Mary and Lily the chance to do the same.
Lily gathered her luggage and got off the train slowly, wondering how long it would take her parents to arrive. Petunia, out of spite or jealousy, usually delayed them as long as possible, but for once, Lily hoped they took their time.
Mary, who loved going home, was halfway to the platform before Lily got off the train. She caught up with her, hugged her, waved, and then headed back towards the train to say her other goodbyes.
---
“You know, Prongs,” Sirius was saying philosophically, “I know you said that this year was your year with Lily and everything, and I want you to know that I don’t think any less of you because it didn’t happen. I mean, really. I think you laid down some pretty solid foundation this year, and I really think that, next year, you’ll have a fighting chance. I mean it, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if”oh, speak of the devil, hey Evans.”
“Talking about me?” Lily said, winking cheekily. She had just finished saying goodbye to Remus and Peter.
“Saved the best for last then, eh?” Sirius asked, noticing this.
James looked away, grinning.
“Yeah, yeah,” Lily said, hugging Sirius. He ruffled her hair affectionately, and she slugged him on the shoulder before turning to James.
“Well,” she said formally. “Have a good summer, then.”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at her, his grin widening.
Lily stared back at him for a moment. Then, “Oh, hell,” she said quietly, took one stride forward, grabbed the front of his shirt, and kissed him.
Eventually, they broke apart, Lily rather flushed. James looked down at her. “It’s going to be,” he said huskily, “a long summer.”
“You’ll make it,” she said. “I promise. Bye, Sirius! Be good.”
Sirius, who was staring at them openmouthed, gave a little wave as she walked away. Still speechless, he turned to James.
“I think you’re right, Padfoot,” James said airily. “I think I have a pretty good chance.”
---
The train was all but empty. Only one boy, still in his Hogwarts robes, had yet to leave. He was biding his time, waiting to leave until the last possible minute.
He stood by the window, watching his classmates say goodbye to each other, and he sneered. Severus Snape didn’t have anyone he cared to say goodbye to anymore, not really.
That familiar flash of red hair caught his eye, and he leaned farther forward to watch Lily say goodbye to Sirius Black and James Potter. His sneer deepened into a scowl. Things change, he thought bitterly.
Severus had been on the grounds early that morning, too; he had seen the two of them beneath the tree together. They hadn’t noticed him. Unlike James Potter, he rarely needed a cloak to be invisible to people.
Turning away from the sight, he pulled out his wand”one last bit of magic before his exile into the Muggle world. Closing his eyes tightly, Severus thought back to his earlier days at Hogwarts and whispered, “Expecto Patronum!”
The silver doe that leapt from his wand turned tightly in the small compartment space, looking at him with large eyes. He gazed steadily back at her, then reached out his hand. Just as his fingers were about to brush her nose, she blinked, twisted in midair, and was gone. Sighing, Severus stowed his wand in his pocket, shouldered his pack, and slipped out the compartment door, not looking back.
Trickster by Willow Rosenberg
Chapter Notes: Well, this is it. The last chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading, really. I hope you like it.I'm actually kind of sad about finishing. But I'm definitely not done with this story--I'm planning out a sequel now, and there may end up being two, so that should start going up pretty soon! Again, thank you so much guys. Read! Review! Enjoy!
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