In the days following his detention with Umbridge, Neville did everything that he could to conceal the injuries on his hand. He kept himself to himself as much as possible and in classes hid his hand as best he could. When he was asked about the detention, he lied and said nothing more than he was given lines. He couldn’t bear to let anyone know what had really happened.
In Umbridge’s Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons, Neville’s energies were now entirely focussed on staying silent and not giving Umbridge the slightest opportunity to give him detention again. He could see that Umbridge was watching him like a hawk every lesson, waiting for the chance to pounce on any slip Neville might make. Neville had so far remained resolutely mute, in spite of Umbridge’s occasional goading, keeping the frustration and anger he was feeling bottled up inside.
Between his fear of Umbridge and his fear of Snape, who was continuing to ask as if nothing had changed, Neville was restless and agitated all the time during waking hours, and his sleep was not much better. He continued to be troubled by dreams of long, dark corridors and locked doors. It seemed in his dreams that he was searching for something, but he had no idea what it was. Every time he got close he found the way blocked and he woke up both frustrated and confused.
Over time, the scars on his hand began to fade, and if his friends had suspected anything, they kept their suspicions to themselves. Ron had just joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team as their new Keeper, which meant that aside from the Chasers, the entire team was now made up from the Marauders. What with that, and their burgeoning business enterprise, the Marauders were exceptionally busy. Hermione was delving herself into schoolwork even more than usual, fretting about OWLs. Neville hoped that they were so busy in their own lives not to notice what was going on in his.
He did spot some strange goings-on with them, though. He occasionally saw the Marauders, Hermione and sometimes Ginny having whispered conversations with each other, and with some of the other Gryffindors. Neville had no idea what these conversations were about, and he didn’t ask. He was happy to leave others alone if they left him alone.
September passed and October came, and it was nearly time for the first Hogsmeade visit of term. The prospect however didn’t excite Neville; he was thinking of not going at all. Although he would miss visiting the shops and enjoying a change of scenery, he was not keen to leave the safety of Gryffindor Tower and run the risk of being stared at and taunted all day long.
But on the Wednesday evening before the trip, Ginny accosted him as he entered the common room. “Hey, Neville, long time no see,” she said brightly.
“Um, er, yeah,” Neville replied apologetically. “Sorry. I’ve had a lot of work, you know, and stuff...”
Ginny smiled gently. “I understand. Anyway, so the Hogsmeade trip is this weekend, and I was wondering if maybe, well, you and I could go together. It would give us the chance to have some time to ourselves.”
“Oh, right. Yeah, sure, why not?” Neville felt rather embarrassed. He should have asked Ginny out to Hogsmeade himself ages ago, but he simply hadn’t been thinking about her. He knew with all that had been going on, he had neglected Ginny. It was time he started changing that. He hoped too that some time with Ginny would help to take his mind off his many troubles for a while. “I’ll meet you here on Saturday at ten, all right?”
“I’ll be here,” said Ginny, and headed off towards her dormitory. Neville didn’t spot the subtle nod that passed between her and Hermione, who was sitting reading by the fireplace.
* * *
Saturday morning was cold and windy, with dark clouds over Hogwarts threatening the possibility of rain later. Neville, wrapped up warm against the cold, met Ginny in the common room as promised and together they went down to the Entrance Hall where the students were gathering ready to leave. As they set out on the road to Hogsmeade, Ginny asked Neville, “So what’s the plan for today, then?”
“Um, I don’t really have one,” replied Neville. “I figured we’d just do the usual things, you know, visit Honeydukes, maybe drop into Zonko’s, and probably end up at the Three Broomsticks.”
“Oh. Oh, all right,” said Ginny.
“Why, is there something you wanted to do?” Neville asked.
Ginny hesitated momentarily. “No, no. I just wondered if you had anything particular planned.” Neville got the feeling there was an implied criticism in her words, but decided to say nothing. It had never occurred to him that he should have the day planned out in any way. They did not seem to be getting off to a good start.
Neville chose to hang near the back of the group as they walked to Hogsmeade, hoping to go unnoticed in the crowd. As they entered the village however, Colin Creevey walked past him and Ginny. “Hi Neville, hi Ginny!” he said brightly. “Can’t stop, I’m supposed to be watching Dennis. I’ll see you later, all right? Looking forward to it!” He rushed on ahead of them to catch up with his brother.
“What was all that about?” asked Neville.
“Oh, nothing,” said Ginny quickly. “Come on, let’s try and get into Honeydukes before it gets too crowded.”
Honeydukes, as it turned out, was already incredibly busy and Neville didn’t like being trapped in the crowd. They spent a short time there, but Neville persuaded Ginny to leave as soon as possible. “What’s going on?” Ginny asked when they got outside.
“I just don’t want to have to deal with all the trouble, all right?” said Neville.
“You can’t hide in a corner the whole time, Neville,” replied Ginny. “And it wasn’t like anyone in there was getting at you, anyway. What’s the point of coming to Hogsmeade if you don’t want to do anything while you’re here?”
“You don’t understand. I just want to forget about everything that’s going on, just for a while at least. I came because I wanted to spend some time with you. I know we’ve barely seen each other so far this year.”
“Fine, that’s all well and good,” said Ginny, “but so far today, you’ve barely said anything to me until now. How am I supposed to understand if you won’t talk to me? It seems like you’re wandering around in a world of your own these days, Neville.” Neville looked at her. He knew she was right, but he still couldn’t find anything to say. “Look,” continued Ginny, “let’s go find a quiet corner of the Three Broomsticks and just and talk for a while, okay? Then later I’ve got something that might just cheer you up.”
They made their way to the Three Broomsticks and managed to find themselves a place near the back of the pub. Ginny sat down across from Neville and waited for a while. Then, when Neville showed no inclination to speak, she prompted, “So, how are you holding up, then?”
Neville gave a non-committal answer. When Ginny prompted again, Neville began to say more, but the conversation quickly drifted away from his problems. He simply couldn’t talk to Ginny about Cedric and the graveyard, and there was no way he was going to talk about Umbridge. They were his troubles and he alone could understand them. Talking about them could only make things worse.
They talked about schoolwork, about OWLs, about what the Marauders were up to, anything but Voldemort, the Ministry or Umbridge. Even thinking about Umbridge made the back of Neville’s hand start to itch and he quickly blocked it out. Neville could tell that Ginny was getting increasingly frustrated and after a while he caught her glancing at her watch. “Do you have somewhere you need to go?” he asked, almost in hope that their tortuous conversation would be over.
“In a few minutes.” She looked up at Neville, as if trying to decide something. “You know, I thought I understood you, Neville,” she said eventually, “but now I’m not sure. I’m beginning to wonder if this is a good idea.”
“If what’s a good idea?”
Ginny stood up. “Follow me and you’ll find out,” she said. “We might as well get going, it doesn’t seem like there’s much point staying here any longer.”
Neville got up and followed Ginny out of the Three Broomsticks. “Where are we going?” he asked.
“We’re going to take short walk down to the Hog’s Head,” Ginny answered.
“The Hog’s Head? Why are we going there?”
“You’ll see.” Ginny led Neville down the High Street and off into the side road where stood the dingy, half-forgotten old pub that Neville had been in only once before. They went in. The pub was almost deserted; just the barman and three or four unsavoury-looking types wearing hoods and with their faces concealed behind their tankards. Ginny made her way towards a back room, indeed the same back room where Neville had once overheard a conversation between Professor Flitwick, the Minister for Magic and the head of the Auror department.
Stepping into the room, Neville stopped dead in shock. The room was filled with perhaps two dozen students, seemingly eagerly waiting for him to come in. Hermione was there, as were all four Marauders and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. There was Dean, and Lavender Brown, and both Patils, and Colin and his brother Dennis. Several Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were also there, including Cho Chang, sitting next to Harry, and Luna Lovegood, sitting on her own at the back humming merrily and looking around with detached amusement.
“Oh, you’re early,” said Hermione, who was sat at the front. “There’s still a few more to arrive, I think.”
“What on earth is going on?” asked Neville.
“Take a seat, Neville, and we’ll explain in a moment,” said Hermione. Neville sat down next to her, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Everybody in the room seemed to be staring at him, and he wondered what was going to happen next. A few more students came in; Neville vaguely recognised Justin Finch-Fletchley among them. They squeezed into the available space and waited expectantly.
After a couple more minutes, Hermione said, “Well, I think that’s everyone that’s coming. Shall we start? Who wants to say something first?”
“Well, this was your idea, Hermione,” replied Ginny. “I think you’d better start.”
“Right, um, okay,” said Hermione, nervously getting to her feet. “Well, er, as we all know, Umbridge isn’t letting us learn any defensive magic. So we came up with this idea, well, I came up with this idea, that we should teach it to ourselves.”
“What are you talking about, Granger?” asked a tall Hufflepuff boy leaning against the far wall.
“We form a club,” Hermione answered. “A sort of study group. It’s not against the rules, at least not yet, but we should keep it quiet, because if Umbridge heard about it, you can bet she wouldn’t be happy. We’ll meet once a week and learn proper practical defensive magic.”
“Why would risk the wrath of Umbridge for the chance to do extra homework?” the Hufflepuff boy asked sullenly.
“It’s about more than that,” Hermione insisted. “This isn’t just about our OWLs. This is stuff we have to learn, because You-...” she stopped deliberately and took a deep breath, “because Voldemort is back.”
Hermione’s pointed use of the name had the desired effect. A murmur of shock and unease spread through the room. Neville himself shuddered involuntarily. Hermione herself looked relieved she had just been able to say it.
“Yeah, but is it true?” said a voice from the back. “I mean how do you know for sure? Everybody’s saying something different. Where’s your proof?”
“Dumbledore says it’s true,” Hermione pointed out, “so if you trust him, you have to believe it. And if you want proof, well, it’s sitting right there.” Hermione turned and pointed at Neville.
Neville had sensed that this was coming, and had been dreading it. What had they dragged him into? The surly-looking Hufflepuff boy let out a snort. “Longbottom?” he said with a sneer. “That’s what you’re basing this on, him? Can you really believe him?”
“I believe him,” said an airy voice from the corner. It was Luna Lovegood.
“Wow, Loony Lovegood, there’s a ringing endorsement,” said the Hufflepuff boy sarcastically.
“I believe him too, Zacharias,” spoke up a smaller Hufflepuff boy sitting in the centre. “And like Hermione said, I trust Dumbledore.”
“I do too, Ernie,” added Dean.
“We believe him,” said the Marauders in unison. Several others voiced their agreement, but not everyone in the room.
“Well, I’m not sure,” countered Zacharias. “I’m not saying I believe the Ministry, but no one saw what happened the night Cedric died. All we saw was Longbottom carrying his body out of the maze. How do we know what happened?”
All eyes turned to Neville, who was sat in silence, his heart beating hard against his chest. Memories were flooding into his head, memories of that night in the graveyard that he had tried so hard to suppress. “I can’t... I can’t talk about it,” he said quietly, not even looking up. “It happened, okay? He’s back. But don’t ask me to talk about it.”
He glanced pleadingly at Ginny next to him. “It’s all right, Neville, we understand,” she said reassuringly. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you what was going on, but we were afraid that if we did, you wouldn’t come. We know it’s hard for you. But we need you here. We need your help.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Neville, this isn’t like some school project,” Hermione explained. “We’re talking about really learning to defend ourselves, really preparing ourselves for what’s out there. We need someone who knows what that’s like. We need someone who’s been through such things before. We need you. We want you to be our leader, our inspiration.”
Neville was both confused and horrified. “What good would I be to anybody? I can’t teach anything, and I’ve never done anything inspiring.”
Ginny burst into loud laughter. “Neville, there’s modesty and there’s just being ridiculous. You’ve faced down You-Know-Who. Three times. You stopped him getting the Philosopher’s Stone. You competed in the Triwizard Tournament.”
“Yeah, and don’t forget killing a basilisk and saving Ron here,” added Harry.
“There was that amazing Patronus you cast to drive away all those Dementors in our third year too,” said Hermione. “You’ve seen things, you’ve done things we can’t even imagine.”
“No!” insisted Neville forcefully. “I didn’t do any of those things, not the way you think. When we went after the Philosopher’s Stone, I didn’t know You-Know-Who would be there, and I couldn’t fight him anyway. In the Chamber of Secrets, I was a coward, and it was Ginny here who was the hero. I only managed the Patronus because of the weird circumstances with the Time-Turner. I’ve never been able to cast a proper Patronus since, and I never will. I didn’t enter the Triwizard Tournament, You-Know-Who’s servant forced me in, and the only reason I survived was because he needed me to win. And Cedric...”
He stopped; there was nothing more he could say. Slowly, he got to his feet. The faded scar on the back of his hand began to itch again. “You were right,” he said to Ginny. “If you’d told me, I probably wouldn’t have come.” He turned to face the rest of the gathering. “I think Hermione’s idea is a brilliant one,” he said. “With You-Know-Who back, we’re all in danger, and since the Ministry won’t let you learn defensive magic, it’s right to teach yourselves. But do it for your own good, don’t do it because of me. I can’t be your leader. In fact, I can’t be part of this at all. I’m sorry.” And to the astonishment of everyone present, he turned and walked out of the Hog’s Head alone.
They were all so surprised, that no one went after him. When eventually Ginny went out to look for him, he had gone. The meeting continued without him.
Neville had slipped down a side-street and hurried off; he didn’t want to be found. He felt like he’d let everyone down, that he’d abandoned them. But it wasn’t fair of them to spring that surprise on him. He couldn’t be part of their scheme; he couldn’t risk going up against Umbridge. He couldn’t face any more pain and fear. He scratched at the back of his hand and walked away.
* * *
Hermione eventually caught up with him in the Gryffindor common room that evening. She was carrying a sheet of parchment. “Neville, please,” she begged him. “We’re going ahead with the group, and look, everyone who was there signed up.” She showed him the parchment, which was filled with signatures. “Neville, please join us. Just sign the parchment.”
“I’m sorry, Hermione, I can’t,” said Neville.
Hermione shook her head. “Neville, I don’t understand.”
“No,” said Neville. “You don’t.” He hurried away and went up to his dormitory, where he went to sleep early.
He slept uneasily, and dreamt of rows of students staring at him unendingly. Then the dream changed, and he was once again in a long dark corridor. He reached a door at the far end, a door that seemed oddly familiar. He pushed the door open; it was unlocked this time, but beyond seemed only darkness and when he woke he felt a sense of anger and frustration he could not understand.
Neville Longbottom and the Order of the Phoenix by Sonorus
Chapter Notes: In which Neville is increasingly isolated. He goes on a date to Hogsmeade with Ginny, but Ginny and Hermione have other plans for the day too.* * *