Finding a Way
The Australian air was hot and dry for this time of year. Streaks of sunlight filtered through the fluffy clouds onto the cobblestone walk, the sky was a deep sapphire blue, and the cries of children were everywhere. They ran, and played, and weaved their small bodies around each other, making good use of the snow that remained on the ground before it melted for good.
As he sidestepped them, Harry glanced down again at the wrinkled slip of parchment Charlie had handed him two days earlier with nothing more than a quiet word that there may still be one last loose end to tie. On it was scrawled the address he’d already memorized, its visual counterpart standing not fifty paces away.
The house that right now held who he’d come to see was small and homely, a red brick bungalow on the outskirts of town, yet still close enough for its occupants not to feel entirely isolated from the outside world. The door was painted the same blue as the sky; and Harry pushed his round glasses up on his nose in nervous excitement.
Truth be told, the thought to find them had never appealed to him before Charlie had suggested it; the kid would be better off without him and had probably long ago given up the hope of ever meeting his godfather “ if he even knew that he had one.
Not letting himself think better of what he was about to do, Harry approached and knocked on the door. He heard no movement within the house and was just on the verge of turning back when the door opened, revealing a boy no older than thirteen but as tall as a man, with a heart-shaped face, intelligent eyes, and hair the astonishing colour of a ripe lemon. Harry couldn’t help but stare at the miracle that had presented itself before him.
“Can I help you?”
The boy’s curious voice snapped Harry from his thoughts at once and he opened his mouth, not knowing what he should say, and yet knowing that he needed to say something.
“Teddy! What did I tell you about answering the door without me?”
Hurried footsteps approached and then an elderly woman was standing beside Teddy, her black hair shot through with wisps of gray, her face etched with the lines of many hard years.
“It’s just some man, Gran. Jeez.” He ducked the playful swat of her hand as she pushed him behind her so that she was face to face with Harry.
“Mrs Tonks,” greeted Harry. “You might not remember me “”
Andromeda Tonks’ tone was all business as she looked him up and down. “Charlie said to expect you.”
“Oh.” He swept a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his sweaty forehead, a nervous habit he was sure he would never lose. He didn’t notice the boy’s light eyes widen in shock as he did so. “Well, that’s ... er, if this is a bad time than I can “”
“Nonsense, nonsense.” She practically pulled him off of the porch and into the house, guiding him down a hallway lined with framed photographs and into the kitchen. “When would there be a better time?”
It wasn’t a question he was meant to answer, and so he followed her, Teddy trailing closely behind them.
When she looked over her shoulder, her expression was stern. “Teddy, go upstairs, please. Now.”
“But “”
“Don’t talk back to me, Teddy Lupin! I’ll call you down when we’re ready for you.”
Andromeda sighed as Teddy’s stomping footsteps disappeared up the stairs. “I’m sorry. He’s been moody and irritable since school let out; it’s the teenager in him emerging no doubt.”
“It’s fine,” said Harry.
“Would you like some tea, or some biscuits, maybe? I daresay you’ve had a long journey.”
“Er, yes, thank you. Look, Mrs Tonks “”
“Call me Andromeda, please.” She set out the platter of cookies and the teacups, pouring Harry’s drink as she spoke. Her face was sombre. “I wanted to tell you before you visited with Teddy, Harry, that I didn’t tell him everything that Charlie told me. He’s believed for his entire life that you were killed in the First Battle; I didn’t want him to know the whole truth ... the part about You-Know-Who that is ... until he was ready for it. I thought that was something you might like to tell him yourself.”
Harry sighed heavily. “I appreciate that. He’s so ... young.”
“But he’s very mature for his age,” she answered proudly. For the first time since he’d arrived, she smiled widely. “Much more than my Dora was, anyways; I suspect that comes from his father.”
“He looks a lot like her.”
“That he does.” She finished pouring the tea and moved towards the stairs. “Why don’t I go get him then? I think I’ve said all I needed to.”
She was halfway up the stairs when she suddenly turned around. “You’re okay now then, Harry? He’s really gone this time?”
“Yeah.” The simple lie came so easily to him these days. “Yeah, I’m okay.” More firmly he added, “He’s gone for good.”
Harry waited as she disappeared after her grandson and tapped his foot impatiently in the cold silence. Would Teddy be happy to see him? Or would he be angry, wanting to understand why it had taken Harry nearly thirteen years to come if he had never really been dead?
It was funny in a twisted sort of way, he thought: without even meaning to, Harry seemed to be turning into as good a godfather to Teddy as Sirius had been to him. The only difference was that Harry’s prison had been in his own mind, rather than a fortress out at sea.
Rapid footsteps raced down the stairs from the floor above and then Teddy was there, standing in the doorway, looking interested but wary.
“So, you’re my godfather, huh?”
Harry stood up so he could greet the boy properly. His hair was now the vivid turquoise colour that he had been sporting in the only photograph Harry had ever seen of him. “Well, it was never made official or anything ... but yeah, I am. I’m Harry.”
He vaguely wondered where Andromeda had gone, for she had failed to reappear alongside her grandson; and then Teddy was speaking again and the question was forgotten in favour of watching this amazing, living rendition of Remus and Tonks in front of him.
“Where’ve you been, then? Gran said you’d died.” He eyed Harry accusingly while they both sat.
He’d expected this, an inquiry. But Teddy was blunt, and it wasn’t any easier to look into his eyes and know that Harry had still failed him in some huge way by not being there for him, even if he hadn’t meant to.
“She was telling you the truth “ as far as everyone knew,” said Harry carefully. “They thought I had ... died. But I didn’t “ I mean, I’m obviously still alive. I was held captive by Voldemort, I guess you could say, and I’ve only been free for a matter of weeks.”
“Oh.” It didn’t seem to be the answer he had expected to hear because he began playing with the knees of his trousers, plucking at the loose threads with his fingers as he looked down at his lap. “I thought she must’ve lied, or something,” he mumbled.
“I’m really sorry I haven’t been around, Teddy.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like it was your fault, though, was it? You never asked to be held against your will. Besides, you’re here now,” he added shyly.
“That’s the important part, I guess,” said Harry. “And I can be here in whatever role you need me for. Like, if you just want to hang out sometimes, or want to hear some good stories about your parents ... I don’t know if ...”
“What?” whispered Teddy, looking up.
“I don’t know how much you know about them.”
Teddy thought in silence for a while and then answered with the grace of one treading across thin ice, “I know lots about my mum, but hardly anything about my dad. Gran never really knew him well, either. I mean, I know some stuff ... that he was a werewolf, a Gryffindor, big things like that; but none of the little details. I know that he taught Defence at Hogwarts for a year, so he must have been really smart and liked rules, and such “”
And Harry laughed hard, for the first time in a long time; a real, genuine laugh that reached him right through to the bone and obliterated any remaining awkwardness that may have lain between them.
“Teddy,” he said more confidently now, wiping tears of a whole different nature from his eyes. “Hasn’t anybody ever told you about The Marauders?”
Mingled excitement and curiosity shone from Teddy like a beacon as he looked at Harry; and finally, Harry understood why he was here, something Charlie had obviously foreseen from the start. A job that only he could do, the knowledge of Teddy’s father that only he was left to tell, would be the gift that his godson had long been missing; a deep pain that he alone could lift. And with this job laid out before him, Harry saw how he could finally begin to move forward.
Nothing would ever be completely okay again; he could never go back to being that seventeen year old boy, damaged and trampled upon, yes, but still, miraculously, somehow whole. He was changed, in a lot ways, forever.
And yet he saw the potential in this new ending, like a whisper of the stolen life that had been taken from him but spinning in a new direction. He could follow it, or he could continue to let his demons win from beyond the grave.
He would follow it. And that new direction, it could start with this boy “ this almost-man “ that he should have known, sitting across from him.
Harry smiled and settled deeper into his chair, and began to tell Teddy everything.