Because of what happened, all New Year celebrations had been cancelled. The few people that were at the castle were very distraught by all of this. Ron and Hermione sat motionless in the hospital wing, watching the sunrise as it slowly lit up the room on New Year’s Day, while Harry found a little comfort holding the doves with him as he stayed with Ginny by her bedside.
The three of them were even more distraught when they watched Mr. and Mrs. Weasley at the hospital wing. It was very difficult for Harry, seeing how devastated they were as they were sobbing uncontrollably, watching hopelessly at their only baby daughter lying motionless in bed in front of their eyes, and knowing that she would never wake up again.
“Harry, the Headmaster told me everything that has happened,“ Mrs. Weasley sobbed, pulling Harry aside gently. “He told me you were very hard on yourself. Please don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
“Ginny would want you to stay strong,” Mr. Weasley pleaded, his hands on Harry’s shoulders. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
Fred and George hugged their father and accompanied him out of the hospital wing. Mrs. Weasley gently touched Harry’s cheek, ”Those are beautiful doves you have there.”
“Ginny gave them to me for Christmas,” Harry whimpered weakly, fighting back tears.
Mrs. Weasley looked deeply into his reddish eyes and hugged him tightly, “Arthur is right. Ginny would want you to stay strong.”
Ron accompanied Mrs. Weasley out, leaving Harry alone with Hermione, watching over Ginny.
“Harry, I want to give you these,“ Hermione said as she handed him his glasses that she fixed. She also handed him a note that said:
“I found it when I was with Ginny in her room before we went to Hagrid’s party,” Hermione said hesitantly. “So many things have happened that I didn’t have a chance to talk to you. I don’t know if I should be telling you this. When she saw that I found the note, she broke down in tears. That day she told me everything about you, how much she loves you. That was why she was so sad at Hagrid’s party…
“She showed me her diary, and it was all about you,” she continued. “She felt she had no one to talk to about this, and she couldn’t keep her feelings for you inside any longer, so she had no choice but to write them all in a diary, despite the horrific experience she had with diaries before…
“She goes to Quidditch matches just to see you play. It pains her very much when she sees you from afar getting hurt when you play. You may not love her the way she loves you, but you really hurt her when you rejected her like that on Christmas--”
“You are wrong!” Harry yelled at Hermione. “I DO love her! I love her very much! And I know she loves me! But that’s why I can’t be with her! Don’t you understand? Everyone that has ever loved me has suffered a terrible fate and paid the ultimate price. Look at my parents, Godfather Sirius… And now Ginny…”
“Why are you blaming everything on yourself? What about me and Ron?” Hermione yelled back. “We love you too! And we are okay!”
“You and Ron nearly died a couple of times before! Is that okay to you?” Harry blasted.
Harry pulled out the blue cloth from his pocket and continued, “Do you know what this is? It is a ragged blue cloth filled with my bloodstains! I keep it with my Firebolt inside my Firebolt box and do you know why? Ginny used it to wrap my injured hand and made me feel all better. This dirty old cloth and the doves are precious to me! They are all I have of her to hold on to because I can’t be with her…
“You have no idea how much I love her, Hermione! I’ll die for her; that’s how much I love her! Voldemort can kill me ten times over,” Harry continued, his voice getting louder and louder. “But I will not have another person die because of me, especially Ginny...
“But then I realized I was wrong to reject her! I should have known better! I wanted to tell her how I feel, but it’s too late!” Harry continued yelling, choking back tears, as his eyes shifted to the doves he was holding. “Taking her away from me is much worse than losing my own life! She is the only one that understands me, my pain, my burdens…And she doesn’t judge me…
“I WAS LOST UNTIL SHE CAME, AND NOW I LOST HER! I COULD JUST DIE…”
“Harry, I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t realize you…” Hermione mumbled, tears rolling down her eyes. She slowly walked towards him.
“Please, just LEAVE ME ALONE!” Harry roared at Hermione and pointed at the door.
Harry abruptly turned away from Hermione and kneeled over at Ginny’s bedside. He held her dry cold hand and gently stroked her hair. It was late morning already and it appeared to be a beautiful day outside. The sun shone through the window and lit up Ginny’s face. The pure images of that night with her at the church started playing in his mind again, triggered by the sensations from his caressing her hand and hair.
"I will always remember that night with you forever," he thought deeply to himself, gazing at her with his tear-filled eyes.
"You and I… It was paradise…"
Then Harry remembered how he had everything perfectly planned for New Year’s Day today to do with Ginny to make her the happiest girl in the world. A sad faint smile started to appear on his face as he held the doves against his chest. Images of a very happy Ginny standing with him under the mistletoe began to appear in his mind.
"By this time now I would have told you how I feel about you, that you are my girl forever..."
Harry breathed deeply as his thoughts continued:
"I don’t expect anything from you. I respect that. You may not even want me anymore after the way I treated you on Christmas. But I won’t let that stop me from loving you…
"I made a mistake that day and I’m truly sorry. To make it up to you I can take you for a ride on my Firebolt. I’ll promise I’ll take you to wherever you want to go, anywhere, anytime. I’ll make sure you’ll hold on to me tight. Maybe I’ll shake the broom just a bit on purpose and blame it on the wind, so you’ll always hold me tight…"
Harry chuckled as his thoughts continued to play in his mind. He placed his hand on his abdomen, as if he could feel Ginny’s arms around his waist now.
"Then at night... I’ll take you to the mountain top overseeing the castle for a picnic in the snow. I’ll pull Hermione away from Ron so she will teach me all the spells to create the perfect food, wine, and candles that dance in the dark. I’ll carve a heart in the snow and surround it with candles. Then I’ll point you the stars and make up funny star names along the way to make you giggle. And when you point at them I’ll reach for your hand and I won’t let go…"
Harry reached for Ginny’s hand again and looked up at the ceiling with his tear-filled eyes, as if he could see the sparkling stars. His vivid thoughts continued as he pushed the doves deeper against his chest:
"It’ll get cold at night. So I’ll take off my jacket and scarf and wrap you in them to make sure you’re always warm by my side. Then I’ll find the perfect opportunity in the dark…to surprise you by leaning over to your ear…and say…"
“I love you, Ginny Weasley,” Harry whispered softly into her ears as tears spilled down his cheeks and his shoulders heaved with sobs.
Kneeling alone on the hard floor by himself in the hospital room next to Ginny, Harry felt very cold and hopeless. The only sounds he could hear now were his own weeping cries in a world of silence.
“I hope this will bring you peace,” Harry sobbed as he gently placed the doves on her chest and rested her hand on them. He was shivering from the sense of loneliness around him; his heart was aching painfully and his spirit was shattered beyond repair. He was weeping uncontrollably as he buried his face with his hands.
“Of course I’ll help you with all the food and candle spells,” Hermione muttered tearfully from behind.
Harry lifted his head, turned around, and realized Hermione had not left and was standing behind him all along. Ron, McGonagall, Hagrid, and Dumbledore were also standing next to her. Everyone looked very somber, except Dumbledore, who appeared to be in deep thought and had a sparkle in his eyes.
Hermione walked towards Harry and wiped away his tears.
“I am sure Ginny would love a ride on the Firebolt with you,“ Ron said, his eyes filled with tears. “We are your best friends. Of course we’ll help you.”
Harry had now realized he had been speaking his thoughts and thinking out loud. He smiled weakly as Ron walked over and hugged him. All three were sobbing.
“I wish Ginny could hear what you’ve just said,“ Hagrid muttered, placing his heavy hand on Harry’s shoulder. “It’s beautiful.”
“I think she did. Look!“ Dumbledore smiled with an unusual glimmer in his eyes.
“You are right,” McGonagall smiled while wiping away tears to get a clearer view of Ginny. “Harry, look!”
Harry turned around to look at Ginny. The ray of sunlight was still shining on her face. There was indeed a faint smile as a sparkling teardrop was rolling down her cheek.