James and Lily stood back to back in the middle of their kitchen, a kitchen that had once been cosy and organized, but now, as with the rest of the house, was broken and mouldering. The wooden beams had splintered with the weight of the collapsed rubble from the room above, and there was a thick layer of dust covering the surfaces and scrubbed kitchen table. A few tendrils of plant life had found their way through the wooden door that led to the hall and looped themselves around the units and up the walls, which were blistered with damp. The remaining food had rotted away completely leaving not even a stench, but there were still rows of rusty tins lined up on their slightly broken shelf. The windows, as they were in the hall, were thick with grime, though they seemed to be devoid of ivy and some sunlight could strain weakly through.
They stood in silence surveying the wreckage, their hands hanging limply at their sides, fingers barely clinging onto their wands. Tears were frozen onto their pale faces, leaving shimmering silver trails on their cheeks, and feeling as if ice-cold hands had gripped a hold over their insides.
‘He’s not here...’ Lily whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.
James couldn’t speak, couldn’t turn around to comfort his wife, couldn’t move even; he was locked in place, unable to tense a single muscle. His son. His and Lily’s child.... He was the one thing that had seemed like a shining beacon of hope amongst all this devastation and fear. Somehow the innocence of a child had lessened the threat somewhat, even though it was he who was in the most danger.
‘What are we going to do?’ Lily’s voice was weak and faint, a tone that made James feel even more desolate; Lily was always strong.
They had run, panic stricken, from room to broken room, Vanishing all in their way to try and find their Harry. James had even begun to wrench objects out of their places with his bare hands like some sort of frenzied animal, set loose from his cage. But they could not find him.
‘James, we have to find him.’ Lily seemed to be talking, but James wasn’t even sure he could hear properly, his senses seemed to have sunk away into the ground beneath his feet, he could no longer feel where or even what he was. He was sinking, sinking away into a dark hole full of nothing, he could feel nothing. The beacon had disappeared.
‘James!’ Lily’s worried voice suddenly brought him slowly back to life. She was shaking his shoulders, eyes full of tears, a worried look on her face.
‘Oh, Lily, I’m so sorry.’ He murmured, finding his tongue again as he wrapped his arms around her. He needed to hold onto something to grip something, just to make sure he could feel, to make sure this was real, just to make sure he was alive, that this wasn’t some terrible nightmare from which he could wake any moment to find his son safe in his cot.
But this was no dream.
‘Where can he have gone?’ he stammered awkwardly, ‘Do you think he...’
James couldn’t finish the sentence. He did not even want to think of that horror. Lily suddenly became stiff in his arms; her silence told him that she was trying not to think the same.
‘What do you think happened here?’ he asked, trying to rid himself of the horrid picture that was forming in his mind. ‘How did he find us? I thought Dumbledore said he wouldn’t get in.’
‘The Charm must have been broken,’ Lily said, pulling away from him. ‘Someone must have told him... something must have happened...’ she trailed off, seeing the look in his eyes.
‘Told him?’ James echoed, his fists clenching as he realised what that must mean.
‘Look, James,’ her voice was soft and comforting, despite what was happening, she really was a marvel, as strong as stone. She pulled him to look at her. ‘It could have been a number of things. For all we know they could have tortured it out of him. He could be dead. It won’t have been Wormtail’s fault; he would never do that to you.’
He listened to her reasoning, and his muscles relaxed. It was probably the truth; James knew that Peter would never betray one of his friends, they were like brothers to him, he would never even dream of purposely hurting any one of them. No, he would not jump to conclusions.
He immediately felt a pang of guilt for doubting his friend, but it was replaced in an instant when their situation returned to his mind.
‘I have to find him,’ he said.
Lily nodded. ‘We should get to Dumbledore. He will know what to do. He will be able to explain.’
We? James registered the word briefly. There was no way he was putting Lily in danger. Not again. Not after last time. Dimly, he saw the flashes in his mind, the hooded figures springing on them unexpectedly, and Lily’s scream...
‘You can’t leave the house,’ James told her, shaking his head. ‘This could be a trap.’
‘A trap?’ she echoed him, a slight tone in her voice that under normal circumstances would have made James back away, but these were not normal circumstances.
‘To lure us out of the house, to get us out of our safety zone,’ he said. ‘When we’re away from it, they could pounce. I’m not putting you in danger.’
‘We aren’t going to be in danger.’ Lily said. ‘We’re going to Apparate to Headquarters. They can’t get to us there. And anyway, they wouldn’t dare come to where Dumbledore might be, and where his protection is.’
‘There is no we about it,’ James said firmly. ‘And I am not going to Headquarters,’ he added with a growl.
‘There is a we about it, James.’ Lily argued, her tone fierce. ‘I will not be left at home to do nothing.’
‘Fine,’ James said shortly. ‘I’ll get Sirius to come here to protect you. Or you can go to Bathilda’s.’
‘Oh really?’ Lily’s voice was laced with sarcasm. ‘And what will you do? Plus, how could we explain me turning up on her doorstep, without Harry?’
‘I’m going after my son. And when I find him, I’ll tear Voldemort limb from limb with my bare hands, along with anyone else who’s hiding him!’ he shouted.
‘You can’t do that, James!’ Lily exclaimed. ‘The Death Eaters –’
‘Damn the Death Eaters!’ James cut her off. ‘I’m going to do everything I can to get my son back! I will not give up on Harry!’
‘Neither will I!’ Lily shouted back, her eyes flashing dangerously. ‘But I’m going to do it the clever way, instead of rushing after him without a second thought like some brawny oaf just to get myself killed as soon as I get close enough for him to reach!’
She was breathing heavily, adrenaline coursing through her, but slowly, she calmed.
‘James,’ she said quietly, almost sadly. ‘I can’t lose you as well.’
James couldn’t speak. The look on Lily’s face was terrible.
He closed his eyes, and felt his heart pumping madly in his ears. He wanted to scream, but he knew that Lily was talking sense. What good would it do Harry, running after Voldemort, just to fall like a puppet cut from its strings, useless and broken?
‘I’m sorry, Lily,’ he said, opening his eyes, his breathing slower, his heart rate calmed. ‘You’re right. I can’t do that. I’m sorry.’
She nodded in a dignified fashion.
‘We should go to Dumbledore,’ she said.
‘Yeah.’ James agreed, though with the tiniest hint of reluctance in his voice. ‘He’ll know what to do.’
‘Do you think it’s safe?’ Lily motioned to the door.
‘I think so.’ James said, quiet and reassuring. ‘We haven’t been attacked yet.’
He looked at her, and she smiled a weak smile that did not reach her tear stained eyes.
He gripped his wand in one hand, and took Lily’s small hand in the other, and together they opened the door and stepped out into the bright sunshine.
A Stone From the Riverbank by Sapphire at Dawn
Chapter Notes: Thanks to harrypotter627 and katie616 for beta'ing this for me.
Chapter Endnotes: Thanks for reading. Reviews are always appreciated.