vii.
Lots of things change, now that they've a baby to take care of.
But a lot of things don't change.
They still drive all through the day; they still eat cheap Muggle food and stay in cheap Muggle motels. The dark mark still burns on his arm, reminding him of the foolishness hidden in each passing day he stays on the road.
Now, though, Severus has to drive so that Lily can hold Harry, and he has to sit in the loo or outside their room at night while Lily nurses her son, and he can never get two hours of sleep not interrupted by shrieking cries. For the most part, he has little to do with the child. He offers to buy diapers for Harry one night, and Lily seems to require nothing else of him. He's glad for that.
A week passes into a month that becomes two and then three and then four. The baby is growing bigger, is sitting up, is giggling spit bubbles and sleeping through the night. Severus ignores the silver doe that Lily sends out every few nights and prays that the Dark Lord doesn't somehow use Lily's secretive messages to find him.
Because if the Dark Lord ever finds him, it's all over for him and for her and for her precious son.
Severus secretly enjoys watching Lily with her son, watching her read him stories he doesn't understand, and play stupid, insipid games, and press kisses all over his tiny, flushed face, mussing his downy hair. But he doesn't go anywhere near the baby, doesn't try to read to him or play with him. Lily doesn't call him out on it.
Harry is nearly six months when Lily is putting gas in her car and little Harry begins to squirm in the car seat they bought, making gurgling baby sounds. Severus tries to ignore him, knowing Lily won't be long, but when she disappears into the gas station to pay and Harry only grows louder, Severus can't stop himself.
"Would you stop that?" he snaps, though he knows logically his words mean nothing to the child with his ridiculous mop of already thick, dark hair. He hates that hair. He hates it.
Harry might not understand the words, but he seems to understand the harsh, biting voice, and his faces scrunches up. Severus inwardly curses. "Don't start crying," he mutters, almost as a prayer. He doesn't want Lily to think he can't be left alone with her baby.
An instant later, however, and Harry is wailing his lungs out. Frustrated, Severus reaches back and tries to calm Harry, but the little boy only cries harder, his tiny hands clutching at Severus's shirt sleeves. Not sure what he's doing, he unbuckles the child and lifts him out, awkwardly bringing him to the front. He tries to rock Harry, making shushing noises, and gives what is more a grimace than a smile.
To his shock, Harry calms. The crying dies down and chubby fists swat at his wet cheeks before reaching out and curiously poking Severus's cheek. When Severus tries to take the little hand from his face, Harry abruptly clutches at the larger fingers, tugging them to his mouth. Severus smiles without meaning to. Harry smiles, too, and gurgles again.
Severus isn't as bothered by it this time.
The driver's door opens and Severus looks over in surprise to see Lily climbing in, her face bright. He pulls his hand from Harry's mouth, strangely embarrassed, but at the look in Lily's eyes, he realises that she's seen his interaction with Harry and she's happy because of it. Harry points at her and smiles, babbling, and Lily babbles back, leaning forward and kissing his nose.
It's a good day.
viii.
When Severus returns to the room with a box of pizza, he stops in his tracks at the sight that greets him.
Harry, over a year old now, is stumbling across the room, a snitch hovering a little ways ahead of him, unable to escape as Lily has apparently tied it to a string that she's wrapped around Harry. The little boy is continuously reaching out for the snitch, which flitters just out of reach. He reaches and falls and stands again and stumbles a few feet and reaches and falls. Over and over again.
He should probably be amused by the sight. He's not.
All he can think of at that moment is James Potter.
Lily steps out of the loo, patting her hair, and laughs softly as Harry makes a kind of dive for the snitch. He hits the ground hard, but it doesn't seem to faze him: he's up an instant later, reaching for the snitch yet again. Lily looks at Severus. "Tell me you didn't do that to him," he says.
She grins, not seeming to sense his annoyance. "He'll be an international Quidditch star someday. I've got to get him started early, don't I?"
Severus's hand fists inadvertently. "Since when did you harbour a dream for your son to be a Quidditch star?" Lily has finally picked up on his tone, and he sees the understanding flicker across her face.
"Severus," she murmurs, the one word almost a plea for him to let it go.
He ignores her, tossing the pizza on the bed before plucking Harry off the ground without a word and swiftly untying the string tied around the little boy, who's still trying to reach the snitch. "Sev," Harry burbles, wildly pointing at the snitch as if to make Severus understand. "Sev!"
Severus pockets the snitch, already planning tossing it out the window as soon as they're on the road the next day. "Why would you do that? For your entertainment?" Severus asks Lily harshly as he sets Harry back on the ground. But he knows.
She answers anyway, irritated. "Because if James were here, he would have done it. He and Sirius started talking about Harry playing Quidditch the moment I got pregnant." She crosses her arms over her chest, and he knows she's preparing for a fight. They rarely fight. But they rarely talk about James Potter.
"And you really want your son to become anything like James Potter?" Severus sneers.
Lily glares at him with burning eyes. "I know you refuse to hear it, Severus, but the truth is that I believe James Potter to be the greatest man I have ever known, a good man —" He scoffs. She bristles. "A good man," she repeats, "who fights for what's right and is loyal to his friends and family, and if his son — our son — becomes even a little like him, I'll be pleased."
He can't stand her gaze. He turns away, taking a calming breath.
An hour later, and then tension is still palpable. Harry is, of course, oblivious, and he's playing with crayons that Severus bought him at the grocery store a few weeks ago, drawing swooping lines across a flyer some Muggle had left on the car the night before. Lily's watching him, running her hand over his hair, and Severus is watching her.
She's gone nearly a year and a half without seeing her husband. For him. For Severus, she's gone a year and a half without her husband. Yet she remains loyal to the bastard. Whenever Severus tries to talk about Potter or, God forbid, the war and the Dark Lord, Lily ends the discussion with a few sharp words and a refusal to listen.
"Merlin," Lily mutters suddenly. "I can't take this silence."
And she reaches across her bed and slams her fist on the Muggle radio clock. Terrible music with indecipherable words and an out of tune trumpet blares to life. Lily doesn't change it. She leans back in her bed, looking sullen.
"Is this a favourite of yours?" he asks her quietly, quirking his eyebrow.
She glances at him. "Shut-up."
He hates this. He hates fighting with her. Maybe he's living in a delusion, but for the last several months, it's been a good delusion, one that involves a happy Lily with a son that Severus is grudgingly growing attached to, and they've spent all their time together, he and Lily, and he's remembered her old quirks and learned her new habits, and he can't take the fighting.
"Aren't you going to sing along?" he pushes forward. "You always sing along."
"I don't know the song," she replies darkly.
"What about dance?"
Lily used to love to dance. She's never been great at it, but Severus has never cared. She sends him a withering glare. "Sure, Severus," she snaps, "I'll break out in wild dancing when you do." She looks back at Harry, her face softening slightly, but there's still a scowl on her lips.
Feeling oddly brave in the way only Lily has ever been able to make him feel, he slides off his bed. "Fine, then," he says. He's rewarded by her jaw slackening in surprise. "But don't expect me to do this alone."
"You're going to dance?" she asks in disbelief.
He feels his face flush. "I'm not really sure how to, actually," he says, trying to keep his voice light, "but if you'll show me, then yes." Her eyes seem to appraise him for a moment, and then she, too, stands.
"It's really not hard," she tells him hesitantly, as if she still expects him to refuse adamantly. She starts to swing her hips a little, and it's clear she's waiting for him to imitate. He does so slowly, and her face cracks into a smile, making his blush deepen. Still, the smile is warm and happy and it completely replaces her earlier scowl.
The music changes, and the next song is even worse.
Lily starts dancing to it nonetheless, making random, crazy movements, and Severus tries to do the same. He would kill anyone who witnessed him doing this. Anyone, that is, but Lily, who's laughing and grabbing his hands and having him swing her around. He smiles despite himself, her happiness as infectious as ever.
For a while, he's really only bobbing his head and shifting from foot to foot as she circles around him, but slowly, so slowly he's not even conscious of it, he starts making as big as fool of himself as she is of herself. She's laughing outright now, her face flushed pink with pleasure. Harry is giggling, watching with curiosity, and when Lily starts clapping her hands, making faces at Harry, the little boy starts clapping, too, looking absolutely thrilled to be included.
It all comes crashing down when someone bangs on the door.
They both stop, and identical frowns form on their faces at they look at one another questioningly. Someone knocks again, this time louder. But a moment later, the tension eases suddenly out of Lily's shoulders. "It's maid-service," she mutters. "Must be. They don't realise someone's in here. We're busy!" she calls out loudly. "We'll be gone tomorrow morning, though!"
No one replies at first, and Severus relaxes under the impression that Lily is right.
"It's not maid service," comes a calm, quiet voice. Severus isn't sure, but Lily's eyes go wide, and she tears across the room in an instant, unlinking the chain and throwing open the door. There's a frozen moment, then, when they all seem to hold their breath as Lily stares in shock at the tall, lanky man who stands on the other side, his hands shoved in his pockets and his hair falling into his eyes.
"Hello, Lily," he greets, his voice low.
"Remus," she breathes. And she throws her arms around him.
Severus doesn't take his eyes off of them, not even when Remus gives a sad, tired smile and returns the embrace. When they break apart and Lily ushers the werewolf into the room, closing the door behind him, Remus looks at Severus but says nothing to him. "What're you doing here?" Lily asks. "And how did you even —?"
"We've been trying to keep track of you a little from your messages," Remus explains quickly. "There's a magical pub a few streets down from here and I Floo'd through that. I'll explain more later. I'm here because —" He doesn't finish. He's looking at Harry. He swallows audibly.
"That's him," Lily says softly, biting her lip as she places a hand on Remus's shoulder. "That's Harry."
"He . . . looks like James."
"He does, doesn't he?"
Severus wishes the filthy werewolf would leave as quickly as he had come. They don't need him here, interrupting. And his being here, well, it can really only mean one thing, and Severus can barely see straight with the realisation.
"But what are you doing here?" Lily asks again.
Age seems suddenly to sink into Remus's face. "I've come to get you, Lily."
Severus's jaw is so tight he feels it lock. "But," Lily begins, her brow creasing.
"No," Remus says, shaking his head. "There isn't time. You have to come home . . . we don't have much time." There's a hint behind his word, and Lily catches it. Her bottom lip trembles.
"What's happened, Remy?" she whispers. "Is he okay?" Remus doesn't reply. Lily clutches at his coat. "Is James okay?" she demands, panic taking a hold of her whole face. Severus realises his own breath is caught in anticipation. Lily would be devastated if something had happened to Potter, but. . . .
"James is fine," Remus replies. Lily visibly relaxes. Her frown deepens.
"But then . . . ?"
"It's Sirius," Remus finally says, his whole expression shadowed. "You need to come home, Lily, to take care of James after it happens and to . . . to say goodbye."
"Remus —"
"Sirius is dying, Lily."
ix.
Remus waits by the door while Lily haphazardly throws clothing into her one large suitcase. She always manages to get her things scattered all around the room even though they never spend more than a single night at each place. Her hands are shaking as she packs, but when Remus offers to help, she refuses. "Just a minute," she says, "I need just a minute." She doesn't even look at Severus as she adds to him, "Get Harry packed, Sev."
But Severus doesn't move.
He picked up Harry a moment before, and the little boy sits contentedly in his arms, completely oblivious to what's going on around him as he toys with the collar of Severus's shirt, drooling a little. "Lily," Severus says.
"What?" she asks, grabbing her last scattered piece of clothing and starting to zip the suitcase closed. Severus glances at Remus, and understanding passes between them. But Remus doesn't say a word, and his expression makes clear the fact that, while he may understand Severus, he still plans on taking Lily home.
"Lily, you can't go," Severus says, his words firm.
She pauses, looking at him incredulously. "Severus," she replies slowly, "I have to go."
"You can't," he repeats. Lily glances at Remus and then back at Severus, her eyes wide, as if it's all too much for her. He takes a step towards her. "Lily, listen to me. You can't go back."
She opens her mouth, but Remus speaks first. "Why don't I let you say goodbye in private?" he asks. Severus doesn't bother replying. Lily nods shakily.
"Okay." Remus turns to leave, but Lily adds hastily, "take Harry with you." She meets Severus's gaze. "I'll be just a minute." Severus resists the urge to fight Remus as the other man takes Harry from him.
"Hey buddy," Remus murmurs to the little boy. "I'm Uncle Remus."
Harry's small head swivels to Lily and to Severus, and he gurgles a little in protest as he's carried out of the room. He's never been away from both Lily and Severus at the same time. The door closes behind Remus, though, and all thoughts of Harry are forgotten. The only thing Severus can think about is Lily.
"Severus, I have to go home," Lily tells him. "Sirius is hurt — is dying."
"And?" Severus snaps.
Lily looks as if he's slapped her. "And?" she repeats, outraged. "And I have to be with him, with my family! I have to say goodbye! I have to —"
"Sirius Black is not your family," Severus interrupts coldly, barely able to contain his rage. He can't believe this. He can't believe that all it takes is for Remus Lupin to show up and say a few choice words, and Lily is on her way back to the Marauders.
There are tears gathering in Lily's eyes. "Severus," she says, shaking her head. "He is. I know you hate that. I know you hate him. But he is. He's the closest thing I have to a brother."
Severus can't contain his sneer at the words. "If you go back, what will I do?" he asks. "Where will I go?"
"You can come back with me," she says.
He scoffs. "Come back with you?" he echoes hollowly. "Lily, if I go back, the Dark Lord will kill me. He won't hesitate for an instant. I abandoned him and my fellow Death Eaters and my entire life for you. If I return, I won't stand a chance." He pauses, letting his words sink in. How can she not know all this? "Is Sirius Black's life really more important than mine?"
"That's not . . .," she bites her lip. "I know you can't return to You-Know-Who. But when I say come back with me, Sev, I don't just mean to . . . I mean come back to the Order with me. Dumbledore will welcome you. We all will. You can fight for what's right."
He stares at her, and he can't stop his lip from curling. "You honestly expect me to play house with Dumbledore and your insipid little Gryffindor friends?" He smiles contemptuously. "What is it you all call yourselves? The Order of the Phoenix? Do you really think, Lily, that you all honestly stand a chance against the Dark Lord?"
A tear slips down her cheek as he takes a menacing step towards her. He can see the hurt deepening in her face, in her glossy eyes, but she has to listen to this; he has to make her listen to this. "It's only a matter of time," he breathes, "before he kills the entire Order. Do you really want to be there when that happens?"
"Yes," she hisses, the tears flowing fast now. But her resolve doesn't waver. "Yes, Severus, if all my friends and family have to die to fight for what's right, then I don't want to be left alone, a coward afraid to face those who would call me Mudblood and spit on the graves of my family."
"That's not being brave, Lily," he snarls. "That's being stupid."
She slaps him. He slowly raises a hand to touch the stinging imprint her hand left.
"This was a waste of time," she whispers. "All of this, running away with you, trying to — to save you. It was all a waste of time." She turns way from him. Desperation licks at his insides. He grabs her arm.
"What did you expect?" he demands, his mind buzzing in an attempt to finding something — anything — to say that will stop her from leaving.
"Nothing," she replies, shaking her head. Her face contorts, tears beading in her eyes. "I knew, God, don't you think I knew that it was all for nothing? Don't you think I knew that you truly believe in what V-Voldemort's doing? Don't you think I realise that if I were anyone else in the Order, you wouldn't have hesitated to kill me when I first met you that day last year?"
She shoves him away from her. "Don't you think I know?" she shouts. She clutches at her hair, her face contorting with tears. "But I couldn't stop myself! I just wanted you to be like you were when we were little! I just wanted you to be my best friend again!" she sobs, and something inside him twists painfully.
"And I — I thought if I could just get you away from them all, from Malfoy and McNair and Rosier and . . . the bloody Dark Lord. . . . Don't you think I know you're a fucking bastard now, who would kill my husband without heisting, despite knowing what it would do to me?" She buries her face in her hands.
He can't respond. He can't even move a muscle, let alone say a single word.
She finally looks at him again, wiping uselessly at her eyes. "I knew all along, Severus. I knew I was living in a delusion. But I can't do this any more. I need to go home. My family needs me. Sirius and — and James. He's my family. I know you'll never accept that, just as you'll never stop hating Mudbloods, even though I'm one —"
"You're not the same," he whispers.
She shakes her head. "It doesn't work that way. There aren't exceptions like that. I'm a Mudblood, Sev. I am. You can't deny it. If you hate Sadie for being a Mudblood, you have to hate me, too." She grabs her suitcase. She starts for the door. He has to stop her. But how? Her hand reaches for the knob. She turns it. She opens the door. It's dark out, and raining, and Severus can see the silhouette of Remus, holding Harry and waiting.
She glances back at him. "Goodbye, Severus," she whispers. Her voice breaks as she adds, barely audible, "I'm really going to miss you." The door slams shut.
She's gone.
x.
"Stand," he demands coldly.
His bruised, aching body protesting the movement, he steadies his hands on the stone floor and pushes his shaking arms to lift his body, to raise himself gingerly.
"Look at me."
He clenches his hands into fists, willing them not to tremble, and slowly raises his face to meet the Dark Lord's sharp gaze. He can already imagine the simple flick of the pale wrist sending excruciating pain through him yet again, as the Dark Lord has done for well over an hour now. Severus doubts it will ever end.
"I was so disappointed when you left, Severus," he says calmly, his red eyes gleaming. "I had always seen in you such great . . . potential. And to think that you left all of that, that you left me, in order to fraternise with a Mudblood." His lip curls.
"I'm sorry, Master," Severus replies, aware that there isn't much point. He's sure death will come swiftly, but he didn't have a choice in returning; it's time he finally pays for the last year.
"Yes, I know." It's quiet. "I am, however, impressed by your decision to return. It shows loyalty. I like loyalty." He leans forward slightly, and Severus stops himself from flinching at the unwavering gaze. "I'm not going to kill you, Snape, not yet. But do not mistake me: I'm watching, and if you attempt to betray me again. . . ."
"Of course, Master," Severus assures, nodding his head contritely. "Thank you. Thank you, Master, thank you." He can't believe his luck. The Dark Lord is forgiving him. It's unimaginable.
It only proves that he was right to return.
"I am a merciful lord, Severus. Remember that."
"Of course, of course," Severus says, swallowing thickly.
"I have other matters to attend to," the Dark Lord replies sharply. "For now, you are to stay with Bella. She will keep an eye on you."
"Yes, Master. Thank you." He bows so low his nose brushes the ground. The Dark Lord only sweeps past him in silence, the door slamming behind him. The moment it closes, the other Death Eaters — thankfully only Avery and Bellatrix are there — turn on him.
"You're a fool to come back here, Snape," snarls Avery.
"I've no interest in your opinion," Severus replies coolly.
"Yes, Avery," Bellatrix says, a kind of cooing to her voice. "The Dark Lord has forgiven him. Who are we to argue? Besides, all his temptations will soon be gone." Her entire face is gleaming as she steps towards him.
"Am I supposed to gather something from that cryptic statement?" Severus asks, his annoyance with his new babysitter already paramount.
"While you were away," Bellatrix says, walking her fingers across his shoulders as she circles him like a predator around her prey, "the Dark Lord learned some very interesting news. There's a prophesy, you see, and only minutes before your return, information was brought to the Dark Lord that will allow him to prevent the prophesy from coming true." There's a dangerous glint in her eyes now, and Severus knows nothing good will come of this prophesy.
"What are you talking about?" he snarls, trying not to let his frustration get the better of him. She gives a high-pitched, delight laugh, clearly enjoying her advantage.
"She means your precious Mudblood, the one fucking Potter," Avery says, before Bellatrix can stop him, "is gonna die tonight." He grins, a kind of evil that Severus has never before recognised simmering in his gaze.
"What do you mean?" he asks, his voice sharp. Bellatrix lets out a vicious peel of laughter.
"And not just her," she trills, "her itty-bitty baby boo, too."
The anger that courses through Severus is unrivalled. His wand is out and swishing through the air faster than Bellatrix can comprehend, and her body goes flying like a rag doll, crashing into the far wall. He disarms Avery an instant later and holds the wand to the other man's throat. "What does the prophesy say?" he demands, his voice a cold hiss.
"Snape," Avery says. A swift jerk of his wand and Avery releases a thick howl of pain, clutching his chest. Severus jabs him with his wand once more.
"Don't make me kill you," he warns darkly.
Avery meets his gaze, terrified. Severus doesn't have time to be satisfied at the reaction. "The spy in the Order — Pettigrew — he overheard it told to Dumbledore," Avery explains quickly. "It's about a baby, one that will have this secret power and can defeat the Dark Lord. We thought it was the Longbottom kid, but the Order hid him before we could touch him — although we got his parents —"
"Get to the point," Snape orders, his voice a low hiss.
"We thought it was the Longbottom kid," Avery repeats, "but the Dark Lord learned a few months ago that the Potters have a kid, too, and today Pettigrew became their secret keeper and —"
Severus doesn't need to hear any more. He slams his elbow into Avery's face, snatches his wand from the ground, deftly snaps it in two, and races from the room. "There's nothing you can do!" Avery calls out. "The Dark Lord is already on his way!"
He doesn't heed the other man. He can't believe it. He can't.
Lily is going to die. The Dark Lord will kill her, and Harry, too, and he's probably at her doorstep now. Severus had thought he had lost everything. He'd thought that Lily walking out the door two months ago was the end of everything.
But it wasn't. It isn't. The end is on his way now.
And Severus has to stop him.
xi.
He throws open the door of the room, his wand raised, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only.
The chubby man whirls around in surprise, and Severus instantly slams his small body to the wall.
"Severus!" Peter squeaks in alarm. It hadn't been hard to find where he lived; Severus had been to his house before, years ago, and he knew the murderer would be there on the night he let the people he claimed to love die.
"Give me the address," he says. Pettigrew only stares at him in terror.
"I — I don't know what you're talking about!"
Briefly, Severus wonders how long Peter has been betraying his friends. It must have happened some time in the year and a half he and Lily were living in their own, private world. If it were putting anyone else's life at risk, anyone else but Lily, he would have found sadistic, poetic justice in the knowledge that Potter and Black would be brought down by their own stooge.
He can't be bothered caring about that now, however.
"Give me the Potters' address, you murdering bastard!" Severus shouts, spit flying from his lips. He's losing control, and he doesn't really care.
"I don't know what you're talking about, I swear!" Peter wails.
Severus is shaking with rage, then, but he's going to get what he came for, and he's not going to waste any more time. "Listen, you filthy rat," he snarls, "there is one thing I care about in this world, one person, and I will not let you be the death of her. Give me the address!"
Just like that, Peter Pettigrew caves. "627 Godric's Hollow," he whispers piteously.
Severus releases him from the spell, and Peter falls to the ground with a heavy thump, immediately clambering for his wand. Severus crushes Peter's hand with a foot and raises his wand to kill the bastard. But Peter is no longer there; at least, not as man. He's a rat, and he skitters from the room too fast for Severus to stop him.
It's not his concern right now.
He Apparates to Godric's Hollow.
He finds 627 quickly, and he races towards the door, slamming it open. He can hear Lily's pleading voice upstairs, and he takes the steps two at a time, his heart pounding in his chest, his thoughts spiralling out of control with panic, alarm and utter, despairing fear seeping down his spine.
He stumbles into a bedroom to find Harry standing in his crib with Lily between him and the Dark Lord, tears streaming down her face as she shakes her head. The Dark Lord seems to be waiting for Severus; he must have heard him burst into the house and run up the stairs.
"Severus," he sighs, even as Lily cries, "Sev!" He can't look at her — he has to focus on saving her; he has to plead for her life, no matter what it costs.
"Master," Severus says breathlessly, "please —!"
"You return to me, you swear your loyalty, you beg forgiveness, you say it was all a mistake," the Dark Lord says, his voice thick with carefully calm disappointment, "yet here you are, about to plead for the life of a Mudblood."
Severus can't deny it. Sneering, the Dark Lord turns back to Lily. "I would like you to watch this, Severus." He lifts his wand, and Lily backs up against the crib.
"No!" Severus shouts, grabbing the Dark Lord's arm. His back hits the wall painfully an instant later, and the Dark Lord's face is menacing. "Please," Severus says, "I can help you!"
"You can help me?" the Dark Lord repeats, and Severus knows his life will be taken from him at any moment. The die is already cast. He'll do the best he can with his toss.
"I know things, Lord, about the Order and it's members and how to find them and defeat them. I know their secrets and where they live —"
"Severus," Lily whispers. He ignores her.
"— And I'll tell you everything, I'll help you, I'll be your most loyal servant, but please — please! I know she's a Mudblood, but I can't help it!" His eyes are bulging and he can imagine the disgust the Dark Lord feels at his pathetic display. "Please," he pleads.
"What is to stop me from simply extracting this information from you?" the Dark Lord asks calmly.
"Nothing," Severus whispers. "But she's . . . she's mine. You've got to let me have her. Please."
And to his shock, a small smile creeps across the Dark Lord's face. "It would be fitting punishment for Potter, wouldn't it? He has, after all, abandoned his lineage for her, and to have his precious Mudblood belong to you. . . ."
The first kind of bleak hope rises inside of Snape.
"Yes, Master, yes," Severus murmurs, adding yet again, "please."
"Only her," the Dark Lord says slowly. "Not the boy. He must die."
"No!" Lily shouts.
"I don't care about the child," Severus dismisses hastily. "Kill him. Kill his father. Kill them all. But give me her."
"Severus!" Lily yells, and he can feel her eyes burning into him. He still doesn't look at her. He can't face what he'll see in her eyes.
"If I do this," the Dark Lord says, taking a step towards Severus, his eyes glowing, "you will be forever indebted to me. And if at any moment you make a wrong move, I will not only kill you, but her as well."
Severus nods fervently, breathing fast. "Of course, Master, of course."
The Dark Lord turns back to Lily. "Step aside, Mudblood. I am sparing your life."
"No," Lily says, and for the first time Severus looks at her, looks at her hands clutching the edge of Harry's crib, looks at the fierce, blazing expression on her red, tear-stained face. She is beautiful in that moment, wearing pyjamas, her hair a mess, the fire that makes her her burning in her eyes. "He's my baby. Please. You can't kill him. He hasn't even had a life to live yet. He's just a baby! Please —!"
The Dark Lord doesn't listen. A simple twist of his wrist and a purple stream shoots at Lily, knocking her against the far wall. Severus scrambles to her in horror, brushing aside her thick hair to feel her pulse. It's faint, but it's there. She's unconscious, but she's alive.
The Dark Lord is watching him with something between amusement and annoyance.
"Thank you, Lord, thank you," Severus mumbles, pulling away from Lily to give a low bow.
The Dark Lord's gaze flickers to his robes, and Severus scrambles forward to kiss them. The Dark Lord seemingly dismisses him a moment later with the flick of his hand. His red eyes focus once more on the crib, on little Harry with his bright green eyes, messy black hair, and striped pyjamas.
The Dark Lord takes a step towards him, smirking and raising his wand. Harry tilts his head at the Dark Lord in confusion. His large, almond eyes travel to Lily and then catch on Severus. "Sev!" he cries gleefully, delighted to see Severus.
He still remembers Severus.
The Dark Lord chuckles. "And they said he would possess a power greater than my own." The wand points straight at Harry, but Severus isn't thinking about the Dark Lord or the prophesy at that moment.
He's thinking about reading books to Lily's pregnant stomach and holding her hand as she screamed and gave birth and wiping drool off his shirt after Harry fell asleep on his shoulder and playing peek-a-book with him when Lily wasn't watching and the first time a chubby fist pointed at Severus and identified happily, "Sev!"
Harry has begun to cry, his mother and friend Severus ignoring him, and the red-eyed man advancing towards him. The Dark Lord raises his wand still higher, the perfect height for the killing curse to collide with Harry's head.
"WAIT!" Severus shouts, stumbling to his feet and pushing himself between Harry and Severus. The disbelief is clear on the Dark Lord's face for a moment, and then it's replaced with absolute fury.
"I have given you more than enough chances, Severus," the Dark Lord tells him. "I have forgiven you and spared the life of your Mudblood, all because I have always felt you to be one of my greater servants. But I will not tolerate your disobedience and defiance any longer!"
"Master," Severus whispers.
"Move, now, Severus. I do not want to kill you, but I will only give you this one chance to step aside. Now."
He should. He really should.
But the truth is that Harry Potter is more Severus's child than James's, and he can't make his legs step aside. He just can't.
He doesn't really comprehend it, but he has to save Harry. For a long time, for years, there was only one person Severus cared more for than he cared for himself: Lily. But now there are two people who matter more than his own life, and he can't let the Dark Lord kill either.
"Severus," the Dark Lord hisses.
"He's a baby," Severus whispers, the words slipping out without forethought. "You don't yet know what power he might have and how it could be used —"
It all happens quickly, really.
Resolve forms on the Dark Lord's face, baby Harry's small hands clutch at Severus's shirt tails, and Severus knows that this is it. But it's too late for regrets now. He can't regret it, can't regret this decision, because it's the first one he's ever made that would make Lily proud. Severus isn't looking at the Dark Lord when the powerful wizard flicks his wrist. Green isn't the last thing he sees.
His hand reaches back and grasps Harry's hands as his eyes fall on Lily's motionless body.
He would have given her the world.
He'll have to settle for giving her his life.
And it ends.
Fin.
You told me once, dear, you really loved me,
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are gray,
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You Told Me Once, Dear by MagEd
Chapter Notes: The second half is a lot more exciting, in my humble opinion. Enjoy! (And, of course, I don't write with any intention of infringing on the rights of the lovely J.K. Rowling, the one true owner of the Harry Potter universe!)
Chapter Endnotes: There it is, the exciting conclusion. It leaves a lot to the imagination, I know, but I have written a companion piece to this, one that tells James's story, called "But I Could Never Climb Alone." Find it on my author's page! And please review!