“How was I supposed to know you were in the storeroom?” she hissed.
“Because you told me to meet you there,” he answered. Then, pulling her behind one of the suits of armour, he took her hand and kissed her on the cheek. “Look, I do understand that you don’t want this ... uh ... whatever it is between us ... to be common knowledge, but if you’re trying to dump me before someone finds out, then I wish you’d just told me rather than stand me up.”
“I didn’t,” she whispered and cupped his reddened face in her hands. “I told you to meet me in the room next to Slughorn’s study. You weren’t there, so I assumed you’d stood me up.” She chewed the side of her mouth. “And ... um ... about that secrecy thing. I sort of let the cat out of the bag last night.”
“How?” James said, grinning at her worried face.
“I went up to your room and got angry because I thought you were hiding from me. So I ... um ... shouted that we were finished.”
“Really?” James started laughing. “Wow, what did they all say?”
Lily frowned. “That’s the odd thing. None of them said a thing.”
“What, not even Sirius?”
“Especially not Sirius. He was too annoyed that the new girl had decided to stay with the Ravenclaws.”
James shook his head. Something was jabbing at him, trying to prick his memory into action. “I still haven’t seen this Jill girl, have you?”
“No, and don’t you think it’s odd? I mean, you’d think that as we’re Head Boy and Girl that Professor Dumbledore would have asked us to take her under our wing. Mary knew, and she said we were talking about it last week, but I really don’t think I was there. I may be distracted by you, Potter, but my brain hasn’t turned entirely to Flobberworm mush.”
He held her close, his hands slipping around her waist as he tilted his head down for another “ more long-lasting “ kiss. Lily responded, sliding her hands up, her fingers entangling in his hair.
“Jill, Jill, hold on!” Sirius’ voice as he raced across the Entrance Hall sprung them apart. “Jill, please, just listen to me.”
“Hands off, Black!” Avery shouted from the entrance to the dungeons. “She’s MINE!”
“What the?” James asked, shocked. He’d seen Sirius chase a girl. Heck, he’d seen him ridiculously soppy with Martha, but had never heard him sound so desperate. And Avery? He was positively squealing, and he never chased girls. What was wrong with them all? He peered around the suit of armour, anxious to see what was so special about this girl, but Lily pulled him back.
“Don’t!” she whispered. “James, trust me, just don’t look at her. I’ve just remembered something.”
“What?”
Lily’s hands pulled his face towards her and away from Sirius, who was now remonstrating with the mysterious girl. Out of the corner of his eye, James caught a quick flash of blonde hair, before Lily started kissing him again. “Don’t look at her!” she said again. “If you do ... I’ll ... I’ll ... I’ll never kiss you again, okay, Potter?”
He gulped, and nodded, then closed his eyes. “How are we going to know she’s gone?” he asked.
“Um... I hadn’t thought of that,” Lily replied. “I suppose when it goes quiet, then we’ll know that she and her fan club have disappeared.”
Entwined together for what seemed like hours but was in reality only ten minutes, James was quite reluctant to let Lily go when she pulled away. No matter what this mysterious girl looked like, he was quite sure he wouldn’t fall under the same spell as Sirius and the others had.
“The coast is clear,” she muttered. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“The library. I want to show you something.”
“Can’t you just tell me?”
“Um, well,” said Lily, tugging on his hand. “I’m not sure about this, but I think she has some sort of Charm around her. It’s called a Circean Charm, after the Greek enchantress.”
James knew he was looking at her blankly. Top of the class at most things, he never bothered to actually research anything, relying on his skill and reflexes most of the time.
“Circe,” Lily explained as they climbed the stairs, “was a Greek Goddess who trapped Odysseus and his men on her island. She turned his men into pigs and made them forget about going home. She wanted to keep Odysseus with her, you see.”
“Er ... what’s this got to do with Jill whatsit? Are you saying she’s Circe?”
“No, silly, but I think she’s using a Circean Charm. You Charm an object, wear it, and then anyone that looks at you is temporarily under your will. It’s a bit like the Imperius curse, except not nearly as powerful. It probably helps that she’s beautiful.”
“How do you know she’s beautiful?”
“Sirius’ description, Remus’ tongue hanging out, and even Mary thinking about her in a mushy way. It all points to some sort of Charm.”
“Or Potion? Maybe it’s an overdose of Amortentia in the soup?”
“Then we’d have been affected. James, of our friends, we’re the only two that haven’t seen her. She takes Muggle Studies, which neither of us do, and you haven’t been hanging around with Sirius much recently, so you missed that appearance as well. Plus, haven’t you noticed how pig-like your friends have become? Circe turned Odysseus’ men into a herd of swine. Peter refused to eat sausages this morning.”
James frowned. It all sounded very complicated. He was sure his theory was better and, except for the modified memories, it certainly explained why Sirius, Remus and Peter were so love struck. “Uhm, Lily, not that I think you’re talking rubbish, or anything, but can you prove any of this?”
“Library,” she muttered. “It’s Saturday, so no one will be there. We can search in the Restricted Section.”
James sighed but acquiesced. He was quickly learning that having a girlfriend like Lily Evans meant that he had to go along with her way of doing things, especially if he wanted a quiet life.
“What are we looking for?” he asked when they slipped into the library.
“Um, it’s a big red book called ‘Most Ancient Charms and their Practical Use for the Modern Witch.’”
“Not wizard?” James quirked an eyebrow and grinned at her. “That’s sexist.”
Lily snorted. “It was written by Lucinda Amour. You remember the one who declared she’d found the secret of eternal love ...”
“That turned out to be Mermish Gin,” James laughed, then stuffed his fist in his mouth so they didn’t disturb Madam Pince.
“What are you pair doing here on a fine day like this?” growled a voice behind them. It was their Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, blocking the aisle with a wand in one hand and a rolled up newspaper in the other.
“Ah, Professor Fawcett. How lovely to see you,” said Lily. “James and I are very far behind in our homework, so thought we should spend the day catching up. Your Defence against the Dark Arts essay won’t write itself.”
“You handed that in yesterday, Miss Evans.”
“Um, yes, well, I don’t really think I did myself justice, sir, and James said he’d go over some sections with me, just in case you ask me to redo the whole thing,” Lily replied blithely.
“So why are you in the Charms section?” Professor Fawcett demanded.
“Our mistake, sir,” James piped up. “And ... er ... I think we’ll be going now. Let’s go, Lily.”
“I thought you wanted proof “”
“I said, come on,” he replied in a louder voice, tugging her away.
But Lily persisted. “Thing is, sir, we’re looking for another book as well. It’s a big red-”
“NO!” James interrupted. “We’re not looking for anything. In fact we’re getting out right “ NOW!”
As he pulled Lily behind him, Professor Fawcett sent a swift hex her way. It missed them both by a hair’s breadth. Realising that Lily was unsighted and still not sure what was going on, James grabbed her wand and shouted, “Expelliarmus!”
The wand in Professor Fawcett’s hand shot straight through the air; James caught it with his left hand, his unerring Quidditch reflexes serving him well. Then with both wands pointed at the professor, and not taking his eyes off him, James spoke softly to Lily, “Back away, carefully.”
“James, he’s a teacher ...,” she whimpered.
“He’s just fired a bloody hex at you, Lily, using my sodding wand!”
“Your wand?” she gasped. “But how did he ...? Are you saying that he’s the one who attacked you?”
“Come on, Potter, don’t be stupid,” murmured Professor Fawcett. “This could get you into a lot of trouble. Lower both wands, and we’ll say no more about it.”
“No, sir, I’m going to stay here whilst Lily fetches Professor Dumbledore.” He nudged Lily with his elbow. “Go on, I’ve got him covered.”
“No,” she whispered. “James, I can’t leave you with him.”
“What do you suggest, then? I’m not walking him through the school at wand point, he’ll escape.”
Reaching across him, Lily took back her wand. With surprising speed, she soon had Professor Fawcett tied up with a slew of cords to his hands and feet. “Search him,” she said. “He might still have the Felix Felicis on him.”
James nodded and bending down, began to rifle through Fawcett’s robe pockets. “Ooh, what’s this?” he asked, pulling a small flask out. He unstopped it and took a sniff. “No, it’s not Felix, it’s uh ...” He could feel his mind start to wander, the heady scent of the Potion infiltrating his senses. “Lil ...wha...Oh Merlin, this is ...”
“That’s it, Potter,” the Professor was muttering. “Take another sniff. Think about that girl. Now release me, and ...”
“NO!” Lily cried, and quick as a cat, she’d grabbed the flask from him. James was swaying in front of her, holding his wand far less firmly that before. She pulled him away from the Professor, and quickly cast a Shield Charm between him and James. “It’s the Potion, James,” she urged him when he looked at her woozily. “Come on, you must fight this. She’s not real. It’s an illusion. The Circean Charm, remember. He must have created a liquid version.”
“She’s real,” James whispered, “but I can’t see her.”
She slapped him “ hard “ across the face. James staggered backwards, but still it wasn’t enough to bring him to his senses and all the while, the professor was murmuring sweet nothings across to him, tempting him with words of love and desire. James grasped his wand firmly and faced Lily.
“No, James,” she whimpered. “Please, don’t do this.”
He lifted his wand, pointing it straight at her, and in desperation, she launched herself at him. “I won’t let you fall for it, James.” She kissed him hard on the mouth putting in everything she had, everything she felt for him, and just praying it was enough, hoping that she could be his Penelope to his Odysseus. She could hear Professor Fawcett laughing, and for a long few seconds, when James stiffened in her arms, she knew she’d lost.
James pushed her away, then brandishing his wand, he cast a hex straight at the laughing professor. “Silencio! You old bastard.” Sinking to the floor in exhaustion, he asked, “What was in that flask?”
“I’m not sure,” Lily replied. “But I’m wondering if it was some new variant of Polyjuice Potion, with the Circean Charm added.”
“You mean this ugly git is who Padfoot and everyone else in this school has been lusting after?” James grinned, his still sore face brightened by the thought of his friends’ discomfort. “Merlin, I hope Sirius and Avery snogged her.”
“A Circean Charm, how intriguing.” Professor Dumbledore had been standing by his bookcase, flicking through a book when they brought Professor Fawcett to him. He gestured for them all to take a chair. “How did you draw that conclusion, Miss Evans?”
Lily sat down; she smiled at the Headmaster and started to tell him all about the mystery girl.
“Ah, the inestimable Miss Munroe, I suppose,” the Headmaster put in. He smiled benignly. “I have heard good things about her.”
“You know her, sir?” Lily faltered. If Jill was real then her whole theory was just a theory; she and James would be in serious trouble.
“I have ‘heard’ about her,” Professor Dumbledore qualified. “I have not met this paragon. Although my estimable colleagues assure me Miss Munroe is a wonderful girl, whenever I attempt to find her, she disappears. It is most odd. ” He studied Professor Fawcett, who was not bound anymore, but still silenced. Withdrawing his wand, Professor Dumbledore lifted the enchantment. “You have listened to Miss Evans, Fidelus, do you have anything to say.”
“Preposterous,” he growled. “Potter hexed me, as Madam Pince says, because I caught him handing her the missing Felix Felicis.” He leant across the desk. “Headmaster, I implore you. I don’t blame Miss Evans. She’s been deluded by this wastrel, but she has in her possession Horace’s potion.”
“Indeed, that is most serious,” Professor Dumbledore’s voice was grave and Lily could see no sign of a twinkle in his blue eyes. “Miss Evans, I require you to hand over the potion.”
“B-but, sir. It’s not the Felix Felicis. Please it has turned half my year into complete mush heads. They see this ‘girl’ and it’s as if they’ve lost all reason.”
“Sir,” James put in. “I didn’t even see the girl but inhaling the contents was enough for me to lose sense. It was only thanks to Lily kiss ... er ... distracting me that I managed to recover.”
“And you believe I could be fooled also?” Professor Dumbledore sounded dubious.
Obviously sensing a weakness, Professor Fawcett spoke again, “Albus, you can’t take their word for it. Obviously, this is some sort of scam run by Potter and Black. It’s tragic that Miss Evans has been caught up in this, but her punishment need not be severe. She could still take her NEWTs,” offered Professor Fawcett, now leaning back in his chair.
“I do need to examine this Potion,” the Headmaster insisted.
Reluctantly Lily handed it over. “Sir, please. I’m not lying. It’s very dangerous.”
Professor Dumbledore took the small silver flask from her. With his thumb, he flicked at the top, but then thought better of it. “Alas, I have a fearful cold at the moment and find it hard to smell anything. Tea first, I think. I own a delightful Rutaceae which I have been drinking all week. It is refreshing and certainly helps cleanse the palate.”
With a wave of his wand, Professor Dumbledore set his kettle boiling and summoned a pink china teapot with an assortment of cups from the nearby table. Offering biscuits, he sat back in his chair and waited for the kettle to whistle before making the drink.
“Mm, a most efficacious brew,” he murmured in undertone to Lily and James. “I suggest you drink every drop.”
Lily nearly spat out her first sip. The tea was bitter. Pale green in colour, she could see the dark dregs at the bottom of the cup, and wanted to refuse the rest, but remembering the Headmaster’s warning, she battled on, trying not to retch. She could see James next to her struggling with his, but he took a huge gulp.
“Revolting,” he whispered, “but if you swallow it quickly, you’ll get it over with.”
As the Headmaster cleared away the teapot, the flask, containing the potion, rolled across the table. Before James could react, Professor Fawcett stretched out his hand and grabbed it. With a triumphant cheer, he flipped off the lid, and emptied the potion into his mouth.
James closed his eyes, hoping that would protect him from the Charm, but he knew it was hopeless. If Jill Munroe were to appear in that room...
He frowned. Jill Munroe, where had he heard that name?
“Charlie’s Angels!” he declared, and in his excitement, he opened his eyes, just in time to see Professor Fawcett’s ugly face soften into one far more beautiful. The grizzled hair swung past her shoulders, no longer grey, but shining blonde falling in waves. Unable to look away, James gazed into her eyes. Sirius had said they were blue, or maybe green, but he hadn’t said anything about the shape or size or the fact that as they stared back at him, he felt his insides squirm.
Jill Munroe was undoubtedly beautiful. He could see that very clearly ... but that was it. It was like looking at an elaborately decorated trunk, appreciating the vessel, but then realising that, without its contents, it held no value to him. He turned away, staring at Lily who was looking at him with a worried expression in her eyes.
“Peganum harmala of the order Rutaceae. A most useful herb as well as being a most ancient one, don’t you agree, Fidelus?” Professor Dumbledore mused. He waved his wand almost lazily, binding the Professor with silken ropes. “Miss Evans, I believe you know the legend of Circe and Odysseus.”
Lily nodded. “She kept him and his men imprisoned on her island. Many of them lost their memories and went insane.”
“And what kept Odysseus sane?”
“Hermes gave him a herb, which he said would keep him safe from Circe’s charms.”
“Moly, otherwise known as Syrian rue, or Peganum harmala,” replied Professor Dumbledore. “As I said, it really does cleanse the palate and is the only known antidote to Circean Charms. You were quite accurate in your assessment, Miss Evans. ” He smiled at Lily then turned his attention to James. “Pray, Mr Potter, what do you mean by Charlie’s Angels?”
James gave Lily a sideways glance. She was smiling at him, and giggling slightly. “Uhm, I saw it in a Muggle magazine. It’s a television show about three beautiful girls who wear high heels and shoot people.” He stopped and then pointed at Professor Fawcett. “He’s Jill Munroe. I mean she is. That’s her from your magazine, Lily, isn’t it?”
Lily opened her eyes wide. “Of course. That explains why she didn’t want to move into my dorm. She obviously saw all the other magazines on my desk. Charlie’s Angels is this really popular programme, sir. Even my sister likes it, although she pretends she doesn’t.”
“And when Fawcett confiscated that magazine, he ... er ... she must have known I’d recognise her. That explains why she hexed me in the storeroom rather than charm me,” James said.
“Why, though?” Lily asked. She stared across at the girl in wonder. She really did have the most gorgeous hair and figure. And that smile, dazzling white teeth set in perfect pink lips. Hastily, Lily looked away.
“Have some more tea, Miss Evans,” Professor Dumbledore advised, pouring all of them another serving. “As for why. I rather think the theft of the Felix Felicis is for the nefarious purpose of gambling.”
“The Quidditch matches?” James asked. “But you can’t dope the players. They’re all tested beforehand.”
“There is nothing to stop a gambler taking the potion before he places a bet, though, Mr Potter, “ explained Professor Dumbledore. “Of course, it isn’t foolproof, but it obviously worked well enough the last time for the professor to risk it again. And if you take it for a few days before the game, there’s no telling the information you might pick up.”
“But why go to the bother of creating Jill Munroe?”
“Professor Slughorn tells me that he has shown a few pupils how to unlock the storeroom. In the normal run of things, they are the pupils he has taught for years “ ones that he trusts implicitly “ such as yourself,” He peered down his nose at Lily, who flushed a pretty shade of pink, “and Miss Loveday of Ravenclaw. I understand Miss Munroe is currently sharing their dormitory.” He paused and smiled at the pair of them. “Besides, I think the professor rather liked his new persona. Having even the famed Sirius Black lose their head over you must be very flattering.”
Later that day, when Professor Fawcett had been escorted off the premises and Professor Dumbledore was heard to say that it was certainly the earliest they had lost a Defence teacher, James and Lily took a long leisurely walk hand-in-hand around the school.
They didn’t care who saw them. After the events of the past two days, Lily had decided that now was the time to make it official.
“Don’t know if you’ve noticed,” James murmured as they approached the Gryffindor common room, “but no one is paying us any attention. It’s as if they already know.”
“We haven’t braved our friends yet,” she replied, pausing as they waited in front of the portrait door. The Fat Lady wasn’t there, but as neither were in a hurry, James pulled Lily behind the tapestry for a quick kiss.
“Oi!” they heard Sirius say. “You get your own alcove. This one’s taken.”
James smirked. Sirius had his arms full with a very familiar looking blonde. “Martha, how lovely to see you. Now perhaps he’ll stop moping over American Exchange students.”
The looks on both Sirius’ and Martha’s faces were identical mirrors of confusion.
“Prongs,” said Sirius, pushing him away, “what are you going on about? Exchange students at Hogwarts. That’s just bloody ridiculous.”