I sneer at Black. What does he want? Of all days, can’t he just leave me alone?
I’m bleeding out inside, my organs must be drying up and shriveling. It’s only been hours, and I can’t adjust to life without Lily.
Her words burn me. Snivellus.
It’s too late.
You’ve chosen your way, and I’ve chosen mine.
I’ve made excuses for you for years.
None of my friends understand why I even talk to you.
I’m not interested.
Save your breath.
It just slipped out?
But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood.
Why should I be any different?
Why should I be any different?
Why should I be any different?
You ask why, Lily. You’d never understand. If only you knew.
Why did I do it? I scream at myself, but Black is obviously laughing. I can’t show my weakness. He’s like a dog, sniffing out your sore spots to attack.
“You know,” he says casually, and I sneer harder, trying to figure out how to hide my puffy, red, swollen eyes. “If you poke that ““ he points at a knot on the Whomping Willow. I can see a hole in the roots. And I saw Lupin disappear down it earlier. He must be a werewolf. There’s no other explanation. He’s always disappearing down there on full moons….Ill, my hat. “With a long stick, and go down there-“ he points to the gap in the roots. “You might just find something interesting.”
He takes off, leaving me staring, scowling at him from behind. Even from two hundred yards away- three hundred “ four hundred “ I can hear his hard laughter.
Determined, I lift a stick with magic, guiding it through the trees viciously whipping branches, touching the pole to the knot. Immediately, the tree freezes, like I’d immobilized it. Oh, Merlin, why didn’t I try that before?
Furtively, I crouch and dart forward, looking around. But most people seem to be either on the Quidditch Pitch, where Black came from, or in the Castle, where Dinner is just ending.
I slide down the tunnel.
Slowly, slowly, cautiously I crawl, under the roots and under the ground, too scared to crawl properly, time draining away. An hour passes. Two hours. Three hours are almost up when I emerge at the end of the tunnel “ and see something that makes my blood run cold.
A fully grown werewolf looks up from dilapidating a chair, stuffing and thick, ropy strands of saliva falling from its mouth. It sniffs the air, and then it sees me. With a growl it lunges, but someone’s hand grabs me away from Remus Lupin.
***
My lungs on fire, my stomach severed, I grab Snivelly by his arm, twisting him away from Moony. “Go-“ I splutter, and block the tunnel as Snape takes off, running in a very quick crouch.
I run as fast as I can, doubled over and in pain. We collapse outside of the Willow’s range, and I vomit from exertion, shaking so hard I can’t see and my glasses, already broken, fly off.
Groping around, I can see them, their cracked frames blurred a foot away. I reach, but my hand knocks into something, and I draw it back lightning fast, burned.
I curse, snatching them up and holding my burned hand. Snape is kneeling over the ground with his wand out, trying to look threatening. I realize he must be crying, but turn a blind eye. I don’t want anything more with Snape ever again.
What if Moony’d killed him? What then? Remus would be as good as dead. Never get to be a Professor. Never get anywhere in life. He could have been sent to Azkaban! Or kissed!
I hiss in pain, shaking my hand. I’ll have to go to the Hospital Wing, Merlin, my fingers are practically charred! I guess I deserve it for what happened this afternoon, but not just now…. I turn away from Snape, beginning to walk up the hill to the castle. Dumbledore needs to know about this….
Idiot Sirius, setting Snape on Moony….then crowing about it….like I’d think it was ‘the stroke of genius only a certain Sirius Black could think up’. Idiot. The only person stupid enough to put Moony at stake like that. And Snape, and me, even. It’s not like I could transform in front of Snape.....
I’ll kill him….
No, I think I’ll let Dumbledore deal with him first.
***
I melt out of sight, tears running down my face. They head to the castle, one striding ahead shakily, the other crawling weakly. No doubt to lie and connive his way out of punishment.
I laugh derisively. How many times had I seen that and not noticed?
Mary McDonald’s run in with Mulciber and Avery. He said he hadn’t had anything to do with it, and I believed him. But they used his spells.
The time Bellatrix broke my arm. He said she’d taken his spell. I’ll bet he plotted it for months, just like we used to plot revenge on James.
The time Lucius Malfoy cursed me when I was thirteen, for correcting him on a breach of his prefects’ rules. Severus hadn’t stood up for me, and when we talked later, he was chastising.
I sit with my back up against the beech tree for a long time, thinking. James saved him. James saved Severus. If he really and truly hated him, he would have let him die. If he was a bad person, he would have let him die. But he saved him. I scowl. I bet Severus would have let James die. He wouldn’t have saved him.
But it was true, then, what Severus had been saying for years. Remus Lupin is a werewolf. I sigh. What difference does it make, now? Remus doesn’t know I know. No one does. No one notices Lily Evans. Well, except James Potter.
Who doesn’t seem like an arrogant, big-headed, toe-rag of a bully anymore. No bully saves his worst enemy.
But this night does make a lot of difference. James Potter, my annoying, hated admirer: a hero. Severus Snape, my oily best friend: not even mentionable.
I hardly notice when James conjures a Patronus, sending it up to the castle, where it splits in two, one, I guess, to Dumbledore, the other to his friends. I admire his ability. It is extraordinary. And I admire how protective he is of Remus’ secret.
I see his Patronus, a huge, majestic silver stag, canter away into the pitch black night. Beautiful, beautiful. If only my wolf “ I laugh “ were as noble or powerful. I draw my wand, and, desiring company, whisper, “Expecto Patronum.”
But a wolf does not emerge from my wand, instead, the shining mist rearranges itself in the shape of a silver doe. I gasp. This is who I am now? I think there must be something deeper than a patronus form for James….and I will find out.
Drawn by the silvery glow, Severus turns, and I glare at him. He raises his wand, and a doe to match my own falls from its tip. Oh. Severus has loved me all along, and I love James. Apparently. Pitying, I turn my back on him. Despite this, he does not deserve my time. If he did, he wouldn’t have ventured so far from the good, into the realms of Dark Magic….or uttered the unforgivable word, Mudblood.
My tears dry, and I stand. I have to vouch for James Potter.
And maybe, just maybe, at the end of this mess, I’ll give James Potter a try.
He’s earned it.
One Last Night by Snowlily
Chapter Notes:Thank you, thank you, thank you to my best friend & writer LukiLeata, who was very encouraging when I ran this story by her. Also, I took the quotes from Lily from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, The Tale of the Prince, and from Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix, Snape's Worst Memory. Enjoy, and thanks for reading! =)
Chapter Endnotes: Hope you liked it, this one is one of my favorites =) Please review if you feel so inclined.