–Ah,†Lupin sighed, glancing at Harry. –Your mother.â€
Harry grew silent, his breath becoming shallow. His mother had a tall, loopy handwriting, much unlike his own. He hadn't even looked at the words; Harry found himself studying the very marks on the page that his mother had made with her own hand so long ago. He wanted to touch it, to feel the grooves in the paper, to feel that it was real. His mother had touched this paper and he, Harry, was now holding it.
The three of them read the letter in silence.
1975
Dear Lily,
A sensible girl would not be sitting here staring dreamily at the back of the that arrogant toerag who's been harassing her for years. A sensible girl would not, under any circumstances, let him make her feel in any way, shape, or form happy and bubbly.
A sensible girl would be sitting here, next to her best friend Dorcas, scribbling out her letter to her future self like a good girl. She would remind her future self all about the turbulent few years she'd had at Hogwarts, what with the guilt about Severus, becoming a Prefect, and finding out that one of her best friends was a werewolf. She would remind herself how her favorite candy was Sugar Quills, that she didn't give a hippogriff's rump about Quidditch, and that she was the first one in the year to produce any sort of Patronus (even though it was only a little wisp.) She would describe her anxiety as Professor Slughorn's Slug Club Christmas party approached and she had no one to take, even though half the school seemed to be waiting for an invitation. (Christmas coincides with the full moon this year, so Remus is out of the question.) She would be writing all about her vile sister and how Petunia told that beefy boyfriend of hers that she was mentally unstable, as an excuse for the time that she caused all of the buttons to pop off his pants in sheer anger.
A sensible girl would warn her future self of the things she had learned over the years: not to give into temptations, to follow your gut, to trust your best friends but still keep an eye out, and that it's okay to put down the books and laugh once in a while. A sensible girl would be finishing up this letter just about now, having just told herself all of that. She would not be wasting her time on that selfish prat in front of her.
I, however, am not a sensible girl. I must admit, I've spent the past half an hour staring dreamily at the dark, messy head in the row front of me, watching him occasionally reach back and ruffle his hair.
A sensible girl would not, by any means, answer him with a smile as he turned around and whispered, –Hey, Evans.†She would remind him to please call her by her first name and tell him to turn back around and stop talking, otherwise she'd hex his glasses and put him in detention. As I said before, I seem to have lost all sense, and I did none of those things. I smiled for a second, before realizing just how far I had let him in, blushed a deep crimson, and turned hurriedly back to this letter, knowing that it was far too late.
A sensible girl would wrap this up right now before she gets herself into any more trouble.
Yours truly,
Lily Evans
–So she did like my dad,†Harry muttered, just looking for something to say to fill the silence.
–We all knew it,†Sirius said. –She was just stubborn.â€
–And I think you played a little part in that,†Lupin said accusingly.
Sirius raised his hands. –She barely knew me then! She judged way too quickly. â€
Harry sat in silence, which Lupin mistook for disbelief. –It was just those few years,†he said reassuringly. – Your mother was quite determined to give Sirius and your father as little satisfaction as possible.â€
Sirius grinned. –We deserved it.â€
–Lily and Sirius grew very close later on,†Lupin said, eyeing Harry.
But Harry didn't want to listen. He wanted to read each sentence three times until he had the entire content memorized.
–Harry, we were young,†Sirius said. –Young, and stupid, and...†he trailed off. –Let's see what's next,†he said quietly.
–This one's mine,†Lupin said. –I think I was having a particularly bad morning that day.†He laughed ruefully. –I was such a pessimist.â€
–You were,†Sirius agreed. –You were always too hard on yourself.â€
Lupin sighed. –I just couldn't believe that there were people who would actually be friends with a werewolf.â€
–Well, granted,†Sirius said, –we were friends with you before we knew.â€
–Did you know you were going to come back and teach?†Harry asked.
Lupin shook his head. –I had no idea. It's what I would have liked to do, but things were a lot more difficult with my—uh,†he glanced sideways, –my furry little problem.â€
Sirius chuckled. –That's what we called it. People thought he owned badly behaved rabbit.â€
Harry felt his lips turn up in a smile.
1975
Dear Remus,
By the time you read this, you'll be leading one of two lives:
One. You will have married and settled down quite a while ago. You probably have a kid or two, who are begging to see the letter you're reading this very moment. As a Professor at Hogwarts, you constantly get to relive the happiest days of your life, where you made your truest friends who accepted you for what you are. You'll be seeing any combination of James, Sirius, and even Peter this weekend, because you must remember to silently thank them for making your teenage years bearable, and even enjoyable.
Two. You're out of a job, on the run, surviving on raw meat kill from the full moon. You haven't had human contact in over a year and you have no hope of ever returning to the Wizarding community. How this owl ever reached you I have no idea, because you are a sickly, ravenous, sorry excuse for a wizard. In fact, you're not a wizard, and don't even pretend you are.
I really do hope that you're leading something similar to the first life, but I must prepare for the worst. There isn't much of a future for our kind, especially with the direction the Ministry is going now. Remember this: a few years ago you felt as if there were dementors constantly gliding about your head, you felt as if there was no hope for you whatsoever. Then, by sheer luck or chance or whatever you want to call it, you made the best friends a wizard could ask for. Your transformations were bearable and you even looked forward to the full moon. Quality time with Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail while the rest of the school was asleep? What fun!
Remus, remember this. You're a Gryffindor for a reason. You're brave. Stay brave, keep your chin up, and stick up for yourself. There's no reason you should have to suffer because of one dreadful night every month.
Love from your 15 year old self,
Remus –Moony†Lupin
–Wow,†said Sirius, sucking in a breath. –You really were a pessimist!â€
Lupin nodded seriously. –I know. If it weren't for you guys, I would have left by third year.†Harry thought he saw him wipe something from his eye, and hurriedly looked away.
Love, Hogwarts by Amortentia Black
Chapter Notes: I usually have these two chapters separate, but the first was under 800 words, so I put them together. Lily and Remus ponder the future and present in their letters to themselves.