"How are you feeling, Moony?"
Remus blinked a few times and stared at Sirius blankly, almost as if he didn't know who the other wizard was. Then he rubbed the back of his head and asked, "What happened?"
Sirius sighed. "We had an… incident," he said, his eyes darting over to James. At Remus' horrified look, he continued quickly, "Don't worry, you didn't bite anyone."
The four boys were crammed into Remus' room at his parents' house. Remus was lying on his bed, exhausted and sore from the previous night's transformation. Sirius was perched on the edge of the bed next to Remus, a bandage wrapped around his left arm. Peter was sitting on the floor by the door, his knees pulled into his chest, his expression glum and slightly distracted. James was leaning against the wall opposite the bed, his eyes fixed on the small window beside him, his expression unreadable.
Remus sat up in bed. There were gashes on his body, tears in his skin. Everything was wrapped up in white bandages - no doubt his mother's handiwork - and there were three vials of potions sitting on the table next to the bed.
Healing draughts.
He turned his attention back to his friends. "What happened?" he asked again, trying to keep his voice light so as to not betray the trepidation he felt.
It had been a long time since he had been this injured after a transformation. With his friends around, he usually escaped each full moon with little more than a few scratches, bumps, and bruises. This was different. This was bad… although still not as bad as it had been when he was younger, before his friends had mastered their own transformations.
As usual, his memories of the previous night were hazy, but he knew perfectly well that, with his friends around, there was only one thing that could cause him to lose control of the wolf as badly as he had.
The wolf had smelled human blood.
"It was fine in the beginning," Sirius explained. "We left the Shrieking Shack, went into the hills around Hogsmeade. Things were going great… until…"
"I smelled blood," Remus said flatly.
Sirius nodded. "You took off. Prongs and I chased you, tried to get you back…" He shrugged. "We stopped you from hurting her. I mean, you absolutely terrified her, but you didn't cause any physical damage."
Remus eyed the bandage on Sirius' arm and the scratches just barely peeking out of James' shirt. Clearly he had done physical damage, just not to anyone who had been human at the time.
"Who was it?" he asked. "Who did I… who did I go after?"
The room was silent for a moment, then James said tightly and without looking at Remus, "Evans."
"Lily?" Remus demanded, surprised. When James nodded mutely, Remus glanced over at Sirius and Peter for an explanation. He had expected it to be one of the residents of Hogsmeade who had perhaps been out for a walk late at night and had stumbled across them. But what had Lily been doing there?
Sirius didn't seem to have an answer to that, and he merely shrugged again to indicate his lack of an explanation.
"But she's okay?" Remus asked hurriedly.
"She's fine," Sirius answered reassuringly.
"And… and you guys?" Remus asked, nodding to Sirius' arm.
"We're fine, mate," Sirius replied in a placating manner. "Your mum patched me up after she'd taken care of you and Prongs."
Remus raised an eyebrow at that. His mother had long since learned that her son's three friends not only knew what Remus was, but were going to insist on invading her home after every full moon as long as Remus was there. In fact, she seemed to revel in that, in the knowledge that Remus had friends who didn't care that he was a werewolf and actually wanted to help him.
They came now at each full moon to escort him to the Shrieking Shack and they brought him back the next day. They didn't tell her exactly where they were going - they didn't tell Dumbledore, either, though they doubted the Headmaster would mind that they were still using the Shack - just fed her some line about the Potters owning an out-of-the-way cottage that was always unoccupied and was the perfect place for Remus to transform away from people.
And she didn't know that they were unregistered Animagi. There were some secrets they just couldn't tell anyone, even someone as loving as Mrs. Lupin.
"What did you tell her when she asked how you had gotten injured?" Remus asked curiously.
"We told her James and I were in a fight last night, but we didn't want to go to St. Mungo's to get cleaned up because it would mean not being here when you woke up and we were concerned about how the transformation had gone," Sirius replied.
"And she believed that?" Remus asked skeptically.
Sirius grinned. "I can be very convincing when the need arises, Moony. You know that."
Remus rolled his eyes, then turned to his other two friends. "What about you guys? Prongs? Wormtail? Everything okay?"
Peter looked at him briefly, then averted his eyes. "Everything's fine," he said quickly and in an entirely unconvincing tone.
Remus frowned and was about to comment on this, but Sirius was already speaking again. "What's gotten into you, Prongs?" he demanded, looking at James. "You've been acting strange."
"Well," Remus muttered under his breath, "I did just try to eat the love of his life."
"Nah, it's no that," Sirius answered carelessly, waving away Remus' comment. "He was acting like this before, too. And you weren't up to your usual standards last night. You let Moony jump on you and didn't just throw him off with your antlers like you usually do. You were distracted. Why?"
James rubbed at his eyes and then sighed. "It's nothing," he said half-heartedly. "I was just distracted by… things."
"I jumped on you?" Remus demanded. "Do I normally do that?"
Even if he had better control of the wolf when his friends were around, he still didn't ever remember what exactly happened during the transformations, and it bothered him to no end that he couldn't recall what it was he had done. Particularly when his friends ended up with cuts and bruises that were clearly his fault.
"It's not nothing," Sirius said. "So tell us. Come on, Prongs. Out with it."
James hesitated, then said, "You remember that I had a date with Vanessa Lovely?"
"The bet," Sirius agreed. "I can't believe I forgot to ask how it went. Did you win?"
James grinned and said in a slightly cocky tone, "Of course I won. Girls always want a second date with me."
"Except Evans," Sirius replied with a smirk.
"Evans doesn't count," James answered, frowning, "because we never went on a first date. If she just gave me a chance, if she just agreed on one date… she'd definitely want a second one."
Sirius caught Remus' gaze, and the two of them rolled their eyes.
"Anyway, Vanessa and I decided to go to Knockturn Alley," James continued his story slowly, and it was a sign of how well the three boys in the room knew James that they didn't bother asking why he would want to take a girl to that particular place on a date. "And we ran into Malfoy, Snape, and Rabastan Lestrange."
Sirius' expression darkened.
"Well, it was more like we spied on them," James continued, still staring out the window. "They were talking… plotting."
"Plotting?"
James nodded grimly. "Yeah. I think Abraxas Malfoy and some of his friends and trying to get people who disagree with him kicked out of the Ministry. A lot of the old pureblood families… the ones who aren't complete prats… They mentioned the McKinnons and the Vances and a few others. And Lucius Malfoy was talking about how to keep me from taking my father's place… though Snape said I wasn't a threat to them," his voice grew hard and his fingers clenched into fists, "and I guess Bellatrix is trying to convince Sirius to rejoin the family. Or something like that."
Sirius curled his lip disdainfully. "Won't happen," he said. "Ever."
Remus let out a long breath and said, "They're always trying to get people kicked out of the Ministry, Prongs."
"I know," James agreed. "But this felt… different. Besides… they were talking about us. You, me, Padfoot. It was personal." He paused and gave Peter a critical look before adding, "Apparently Wormtail is safe from their plotting, though. I guess that's one good thing."
"Safe," Peter said in a slightly-higher-than-normal voice. "Right. Good. It's good to be safe."
Remus gave Peter a confused look, surprised by the anxiety in his voice, but Peter was looking at James and didn't notice.
"They did seem to only be focusing on the purebloods," James added after a moment. "And Peter's a half-blood. So maybe…"
"I am, too," Remus pointed out. "Or… well, they think I am because they consider my mum to be no better than a Muggle."
"I never got that," Peter said quietly, glancing over at Remus for a brief moment before looking down at his knees. "I mean, Muggleborns clearly have magic. Your mother isn't a Muggle. I know it's more ridiculous pureblood elitism, but it doesn't even make sense."
"As opposed to all the other forms of pureblood elitism which do make sense?" Sirius snapped.
Peter stared at him. "What? No, I didn't say that…"
Sirius clearly wanted to argue the point, but Remus cut in, "Of course you didn't say that." He shot Sirius an annoyed look, but was far too exhausted to actually verbally admonish his friend. He could talk to Sirius about it later, about how wrong it was to take his own frustrations out on Peter.
Obviously Peter hadn't been spurting pureblood propaganda.
James didn't even seem to notice that a potential argument had just been averted. "They were talking about my dad. And about passing new anti-werewolf legislation. And…" He ran a hand through his hair and turned hard eyes towards his friends. "Snape doesn't think they have any reason to fear me. That I'm too interested in Quidditch to continue my dad's work." His tone was positively glacial as he finished, "He's wrong. He's really, really wrong."
"That's the spirit, Prongs," Sirius said cheerfully, apparently forgetting about his anger at Peter.
"So that's why you were distracted last night?" Remus asked. "That's why I was apparently able to maul you?"
"It wasn't you, Moony," James said immediately. "It was the wolf. No one blames you for…"
There was a knock at the door, and then Mrs. Lupin poked her head into the room. "Remus, darling," she said softly, "there's a very pretty young lady in the parlor asking to see you."
There was a stunned silence in the room for just a moment, then James demanded, "Have you been holding out on us, Moony?"
"I… no. No, I don't… who is it?" Remus asked, just as flabbergasted as his friends.
"Ah… Lily Evans, I believe," Mrs. Lupin replied. "I told her that you weren't feeling well and I would check to see if you were awake. Would you like me to ask her to come back later?"
Remus' mouth had suddenly gone dry. Was it possible that Lily knew? Had she somehow figured out what he was and then realized that he was the one who had attacked her? Oh, Merlin… this could be bad.
"Uh, well…" He faltered, glanced over at James and Sirius, unsure. But they both looked just as uneasy as he did.
He couldn't put this off. If she knew… well, she could find him anywhere. He could either talk to her now, or he could talk to her later, because he had a feeling he wasn't going to be able to avoid this conversation forever.
"Can you ask her to wait in the parlor?" Remus said finally. "I'll come down to her. I just… I just need to put on some robes first." And he gestured at his pajamas with an embarrassed half-smile.
"Of course, darling," Mrs. Lupin replied and excused herself from the room.
"What the hell is Evans doing here?" James demanded the moment they were alone again.
"I don't… I don't know…" Remus stammered. "Do you think… is it possible that she…?"
"No," Sirius said firmly. Remus gave him a disbelieving look, but Sirius just scoffed and said, "Do you really think she's managed to figure out that you're a werewolf and that it was you last night? That's ridiculous, Moony. She probably… it's probably just a coincidence that she is here this morning."
"A coincidence. Right." Remus wasn't convinced.
"Come on, Moony," Sirius said. "It's fine. You worry too much."
"Why is Evans here?" James asked again, glaring at Moony.
"Prongs, relax," Remus said, holding up his hands in a sign of surrender. "I'm not secretly dating her. You know I would never do that to you."
James frowned, but nodded reluctantly.
Remus climbed wearily from the bed and started hunting for clothing.
When he emerged from his bedroom five minutes later and made his way through the house towards the parlor, he couldn't quite ignore just how nervous he was. James was at his side and Sirius and Peter were at his back, and it felt good to have his friends supporting him, but it still didn't calm his rapidly fraying nerves.
What did Lily know? And more importantly, what did she think about this new knowledge?
She was sitting awkwardly in the parlor, gazing at the fireplace. There was no fire in the grate, so Remus had no idea what it was she saw or why it was so intriguing to her. Or perhaps she wasn't staring at anything at all, but was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to be aware of her surroundings.
He cleared his throat as he entered the parlor.
Lily started, her eyes jumping to his face. Then she looked past him, at the other three, and seemed very unsure.
"Uh… Remus… your mother didn't say you had friends over," Lily said, rising to her feet. "I… didn't mean to interrupt."
"That's alright, Lily," Remus said, trying to sound natural. As though it was perfectly normal for her to show up at his parents' house on the morning after a full moon. "What brings you here?"
"I wanted to talk to you," Lily said. "In… in private."
Remus opened his mouth to say something, but James beat him to it. "Anything you want to say to Remus, you can say to all four of us," he said firmly.
"It's personal," Lily said, annoyance coloring her tone. "It's not…" She stopped, shook her head. "It's really something I'd rather just talk to Remus about since it's really none of your business."
"Remus is our friend," James snapped.
"Prongs!" Remus interrupted sharply. If Lily wasn't here to talk about him being a werewolf, then this entire conversation was probably incredibly aggravating and bewildering to her. She would have no way of knowing that they were afraid of what she might say to Remus in private, of the things she could do with the knowledge that she had.
Lily looked at Remus. "Prongs…" she repeated softly, as though saying it to herself. She looked at James, at the gash on his shoulder, the part of it that could be seen through his shirt.
"Look, Lily, of course we can talk in private," Remus said quickly. "I just…" He took a step towards her, and she took a step back. He stopped, surprised. "Lily?"
She looked past him to Sirius, and there was something oddly calculating in her eyes. When she looked back at Remus, her expression was filled with disbelief.
It morphed quickly into disgust.
"Never mind," she said quickly. "I… I don't need to talk anymore. I need to… I need to go."
And she bolted from the room.
Ever since their conversation about werewolves, things had been occasionally strained between Emma and Lily. They had made up as best they could, forgiven each other for their thoughtless words, but it hadn't quite erased the resentment that still lingered. It wasn't there all the time, but it showed up enough for them to be unable to forget it.
So when Lily marched into her room and dropped her bag and a bunch of books down on the table at her work station and glowered angrily at her cauldron, Emma wasn't entirely sure if she should approach the temperamental witch. Had they been best of friends, she would have done it without the slightest bit of hesitation. But when Lily was in this kind of mood…
Well, Emma wasn't sure she wanted to be on the receiving end of another of Lily's rants.
"Problems, Evans?" a silky voice asked, and Emma looked over at the blonde witch approaching them.
"What do you want, Greengrass?" Lily demanded bitterly.
"Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Eliza asked with a light laugh. "Don't you look a fright."
It was true, Emma realized. Not that Lily looked that bad, of course, but her skin was pale and almost ashen, and there were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair was just a little bit more out of control than usual.
"Go away," Lily said.
"Oh… and where is that clever wit I'm so used to?" Eliza asked mockingly.
Then Lily did something very, very uncharacteristic of her.
She drew her wand, pointed it directly at Eliza, and spat, "Go. Away."
Emma intervened before the situation could spiral out of control. She grabbed Lily's wrist and yanked downwards, drawing her wand away from Eliza, then snapped at the blonde, "Get away from us, or I'll let her hex you into oblivion. In fact, I'll even help her."
Eliza's eyes had widened and she had taken a step back at Lily's unexpected outburst. Now, however, she was giving Lily a very appraising look.
"Touchy, aren't we?" she murmured, raising an eyebrow pointedly before sauntering away.
Emma would have liked to believe that it was her threats that made Eliza back off, but she had a feeling that the other witch's reticence to continue the conversation was more due to the look of utter hatred on Lily's face than anything else. Lily didn't look entirely stable at the moment, and she might actually have hexed Eliza, regardless of the fact that such an action could get her kicked out of the program.
Eliza wasn't stupid. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of Lily's anger.
Once Eliza was gone, Emma let go of Lily's wrist and turned to face her friend. "Are you out of your mind?" she demanded in a low hiss. "What is wrong with you?"
Lily pocketed her wand and shrugged. "She would have deserved it," she grumbled.
"And you would have been kicked out of the program," Emma retorted. "Just ignore her. I thought that's what we had agreed we would do."
Lily didn't say anything, just started unpacking books from her bag.
"Lily!" Emma snapped, annoyed. "You can't just ignore me."
"You're right, okay!" Lily retorted hotly. "I shouldn't have done that. You're right. You're right about everything. Are you happy now?"
Emma opened her mouth to say something, and then realized she had no idea what to say. "Uh…"
Lily turned away from her.
Emma looked down, and that was when she noticed that the books on Lily's desk weren't about the Wolfsbane potion or any of the theory behind it. They were basic books, the kind a person would read when just starting to learn about healing potions. Nothing too advanced.
She picked up one of them and looked at Lily questioningly. "What's going on? Why do you have these?"
Lily glanced at the book, then up at Emma, then away. "I've decided to give up on Wolfsbane," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I need to pick a new potion. I got these to… to help me figure out what to do…" She trailed off with a sigh. "Unless you have any suggestions?"
"But… but… what happened to helping werewolves and fighting prejudice?" Emma demanded incredulously.
"I was wrong," Lily said flatly, "and you were right. It's not worth it. The potion…" She shrugged. "It probably wouldn't have worked anyway."
"You're nearly six weeks through the program," Emma protested. "If you start a new potion now, you'll never be finished in time…"
Lily shrugged again. "I will be if I work hard enough," she said.
Emma stared at her, then down at the book. The whole situation felt wrong; Lily never gave up on things. She'd only known the redhead a few weeks and she already knew that this sense of defeat in Lily's attitude was unusual.
"What happened?" Emma pressed. "Why did you change your mind?"
"Doesn't matter," Lily said. "I just… I need to pick something new." She looked up as Healer Lanwick entered the room. "I'm going to ask her. Maybe she has some ideas," she said quietly.
Emma watched in complete disbelief as Lily approached the Healer and spoke to her in a low undertone. The two witches were standing close enough to Eliza's workstation that the blonde could clear hear them, and Emma watched as she looked up and listened with an interested and slightly smug smirk on her face.
Lily must have said something that Eliza found particularly amusing, because her smirk grew into a full-blown grin, and she looked over her shoulder and met Emma's gaze triumphantly.
Emma walked back to her own workstation and pulled out the various ingredients she needed for her potion. But as she did so, she kept one eye on Eliza and Lily and Healer Lanwick, unable to figure out what was happening.
How had everything suddenly gone so wrong?
Lily had never been to Caradoc's home.
He hadn't invited her back after any of their dates because they just weren't at the point in the relationship when she would actually want to meet his parents. It was fun and pleasant and getting close to serious, but it wasn't there yet. Besides, his house was usually a mess on account of whatever alcohol-induced tantrum his brother had thrown after being dragged out of whatever shady pub he had been at the previous night. It wasn't the kind of place - and those weren't the kind of tantrums - that he wanted his new girlfriend to see.
So when the sound of knocking at the door interrupted Caradoc from reading the paper, it didn't even occur to him that it could be her. He walked to the door and opened it, expecting a neighbor or perhaps one of his other friends…
And a blur of red stumbled into him.
It took him a moment to realize that Lily was crying.
"What is it?" he demanded, pulling back so that he could get a good look at her tearstained face.
She lifted red-rimmed eyes to meet his gaze and said in a choked voice, "I was wrong. I was so wrong. And everyone else… Emma, Lanwick… Merlin, even Eliza Greengrass… they were right."
And she dissolved into tears once more.
He didn't know what was wrong and he didn't know how to fix it, so he simply wrapped his arms tightly around Lily and held her as she cried into his chest.